[luciddepths]

After reading over these posts, I'm thanking my lucky stars that my first "real" relationship - which I'm still in - has been so wonderful.

I was so reluctant at first. We met on the internet, and I was so afraid of being the ugly internet chick stereotype. I told him straight up that I'm fat, have skin problems, etc etc... he was still interested. His exact words were "I like you for reasons completely unrelated to your appearance." That was a huge confidence boost, but I was still skeptical. There were a lot of red flags that maybe should have stopped me: he's about 9 years older than I am, I met him on the internet playing an online computer game, it's a long distance relationship (450 miles - but that's changing in a few months!).

I'm so incredibly glad I didn't let those things hold me back. My gut instinct was absolutely right - he's a sweet, caring, wonderful person who loves me for everything I am, and doesn't demand anything out of me. He loves me and my body no matter what size it is - I've always felt incredibly comfortable being with him sexually and emotionally. He manages to make me feel like some sort of sex goddess despite my having a LOT of body image issues. He supports me and celebrates my successes in all areas of my life, including weight loss, without making me feel like I'm obligated to lose weight. I can only hope that our relationship will continue to grow and remain as loving and supportive as it is now.

I'm pretty much in this boat!! We met online, been together this is year number 6 lived together 5 and a half years hahah. He is my strength i tell you. We havent had the issue of him not wanting to touch me, infact i can't sleep sometimes because he WAKES ME UP hahaha even when HE is asleep is trying to touch me! hahaha.


BUT i was there before.. my ex bf.. when iw as about 160lbs, he basically told me he didnt want to be with me because i "gained alot of weight" So i said F that! now im with a man where im pretty sure its impossible for me to love him more!!!

IF you are in a situation where your DH/BF wont touch you because of your weight... Time to move along and work on things FOR YOU, having that kind of person doesnt help.

[farn00a57]

I have only had one boyfriend and the relationship was really messed up. I, like several others that I have read on here, settled for the relationship because I thought I wouldn't get any better. I knew that I could do better, this guy was completely below any standards that I should have, but he actually liked my body when I was at my heaviest and complimented me all the time, so I liked him because I had never gotten any kind of positive attention like that before. I was always the girl that the guys could always talk to and loved hanging out with, but would never date because of my body. When in their minds they were attracted to me in every other sense than my body. I was always the girl with the "pretty face, great personalty, funny, etc" but not date-able apparently. I have actually been told "I like you and would date you if you weren't so heavy." Crushing. I haven't had a boyfriend in several years and guys flirt a lot but never take that next step to ask me out. I've gotten used to it and am making myself better for me. Realizing that all of these guys that "liked" me but didn't want to "date' me cuz I was "fat" will be all over me when I'm in shape and I will tell them to take a hike!! Like others have said if they don't want you at your worst then they don't deserve you at your best!!

oh and on a completely side note: i have noticed that my weightloss has affected my friendships as well. I have some friends who are happy for me and totally rooting for me and others who have not really said anything and aren't supportive at all. almost like they are pissed because they will be losing their signature "fat friend."

[MissKelly]

Originally Posted by ThicknPretty

I am so sorry for your experiences. That is just awful and rude and obviously this guy had no balls (sorry if I'm not allowed to say that) or basic respect for anyone else. I would have felt just as crappy, but it's good that you use it as motivation!

Thank you. The nerve that some people have! In hindsight, I really should have ordered something WAY more expensive for dinner than I did and should have ordered a few expensive cocktails!

But you're right, it motivated...and I learned a lot about myself, starting when I took off the 'rosey-colored glasses' I had on when I looked in the mirror.