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-   -   Does anyone want to talk weddings? (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/general-chatter/192830-does-anyone-want-talk-weddings.html)

GreatBigMonsterMomma 01-31-2010 05:13 PM

Does anyone want to talk weddings?
 
I almost asked if anyone else was engaged, but I know the interest isn't limited to folks who are. ;)

I am planning my second wedding. I married for the first time when I was 19, and split in '07. Got engaged earlier this month. I'm 30 now, and have three kids, so it's a whole different animal than it was then!

We are eloping over Spring Break. March 17th, to be exact. I'm getting married on St. Patrick's Day. :spin: This is DF's idea; we first met in person on a Wednesday, and that just happens to be the Wed. during Spring Break!

Anyway, since we're eloping we're keeping it as secret as we can--the girls don't even know (they will be thrilled though; they've been bugging him to marry me for a while now). I'm talking about it here because I suck at keeping secrets and no one knows me from other boards. (Although, hey, if I'm wrong about that, can ya keep it quiet elsewhere please?)

I have a red dress I bought at JC Penney, and gold flats from Target, and I'm almost done with this shawl (but in red). It's going to be a very casual thing, just he, I, the girls, and our attendants (and, of course, the priest). No reception, since we're sneaking off, but we're planning to go back to Columbus (Texas) and have one this summer.

GradPhase 01-31-2010 06:14 PM

How old are your girls? I think I'd feel left out if my parent was making such a huge family dynamic change without telling me (mostly because I'd want to help plan, and be a part of it!).

The shawl is beautiful! Has it taken you long?

Shopaholic1204 01-31-2010 09:06 PM

How very exciting!!!! You should buy your girls dresses and surpise them by making them bridesmaids or flower girls. How cute would that be?

chikygrl13 01-31-2010 11:12 PM

I want to get married! Desperatly!!
Of course I'm not going to pressure my boyfriend about it. He's been married once before, to a woman who was verbaly abusive, eventually became a drug addict and ran off with another woman... needless to say he has trust issues.
IF we get to that point, I'm going to make a point of including his daughter in everything (she's 13 and Dad has 100% custody).

How old are your kids? And why aren't you involving them??
I was 13 when my Dad remarried (for the second time).
With both of my Dad's weddings, nobody told us kids and we STILL resent it. One day... poof new mom!

GreatBigMonsterMomma 02-01-2010 12:25 AM

The girls are 7, 6, & 4. They will be involved in the wedding itself, but there's not much for them to do as far as planning goes. They're simply too young, and, well, since this isn't a "normal" wedding there's not a lot to plan. (Although the youngest did offer dress advice, without knowing what the dress was for--the other two were in school when I bought it.) They will love the surprise, though; they have been bugging us to get married for a while now. ;)

I will definitely be thinking about what you've said, though. Goodness knows I don't want them to be hurt. They know Erik quite well, and know that we plan to get married, just not when, KWIM? Unfortunately, there are other logistics to be concerned with--their father has tried to cause trouble already, and I can do without another bogus call to Child Protective Services, you know? :( It wouldn't be fair of me to expect them to keep a secret; telling them close to the last minute is the best work-around I can think of right now.

Glory87 02-01-2010 03:46 PM

I am getting married on Feb. 20!

My fiance and I have been dating for 4 years. I am 40 years old, never been married. We currently live in San Diego, but we have friends/family scattered all over the US. We are going to get married in Vegas - we found a off-the-strip chapel that offered a fabulous all inclusive deal - ceremony, pictures, cake, flowers, reception food, DJ, open bar - within our budget. We aren't having attendants or anything like that, and about 30 guests - very small.

I got a beautiful dress at David's Bridal, Jason got a great suit (and a gorgeous lavender and cream tie, so it's definitely wedding-y). I am springing on hair/makeup the day of the wedding!

I'll definitely be posting pictures!

GreatBigMonsterMomma 02-01-2010 10:51 PM

I look forward to seeing pictures. :) We considered Las Vegas, but the logistics were daunting. The plan is to get married at Beason's Park in Columbus, Texas (which is halfway between our two towns, and the place where we got together the first time), on the banks of the Colorado River.

I'm going to go buy his wedding ring tomorrow...

chikygrl13 02-02-2010 01:19 AM

Granted Ed and I haven't talked about marriage in any way, shape, or form. And it would probably freak him out if he knew that I had plans...

But in all reality if Ed and I get married it will most likely be in Vegas. We're not that big on parties, we don't dance, and we don't drink much. We're on a pretty tight budget. And I'm not close to my family at all, and really wouldn't want them there. Besides, I've seen all the planning and bull**** that goes into weddings and I have neither the time nor the inclination to deal with it. I can't justify spending tens of thousands of dollars on one day.

I say tell people you're going to Vegas, and if they show up than great if not, oh well. Send people a postcard!!

Elladorine 02-02-2010 04:29 AM

We haven't set a date yet, but DB and I plan on getting married one of these days (we've lived together 2 1/2 years now). I bug him about a ring every so often. ;)

Oddly enough, we live in Vegas and he doesn't want to get married here, lol. :dizzy: We're thinking of tying the knot in the LA area since that's where he grew up and still has a lot of family at (and is also within reasonable driving distance of some of my family, even though I grew up in the midwest).

GreatBigMonsterMomma 02-02-2010 08:00 AM

Quote:

Besides, I've seen all the planning and bull**** that goes into weddings and I have neither the time nor the inclination to deal with it. I can't justify spending tens of thousands of dollars on one day.
Oh, man, you really aren't kidding! It seems to have gotten a lot more complicated since the last time I did this--for one, there wasn't any such thing as "save the date" cards back then, and there seem to be higher expectations overall these days. I just don't have the patience for that sort of thing!

Shopaholic1204 02-02-2010 11:32 AM

When I got engaged, all we wanted to do was go to Vegas and get married asap (He's in the Navy and we wanted to live together right away). We went on a weekend trip to the Grand Canyon and as we were driving up to the turn for Las Vegas (we lived in Arizona), we had about 10 seconds to make a descion. It ended up being no. I knew that my mom would've been really upset if she wasn't at my wedding. We ended up having a really nice big wedding. I wouldn't have had it any other way. It was about 26 thousand dollars (my mom had been saving for my wedding since I was born).Family came in from out of town..everyone had tons of fun. People are still talking about it how much they had. It was the last time my whole entire family was together having a good time. 2 years later we lost my mom and my aunt to breast cancer. I'm so thankful that my mom saw me get married. I wouldn't have had it any other way.

chikygrl13 02-02-2010 02:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sirenity (Post 3130541)
Oddly enough, we live in Vegas and he doesn't want to get married here, lol. :dizzy:

My sister and her fiance live in Vegas too, and like most people who live there, they refuse to get married there.

So instead they are spending tens of thousands of dollars to get married in Mexico, where none of their family, and few of their friends can afford to make the trip. (okay so it Feb. of NEXT year, so some people can plan) it's already causing family bull****! My grandmother is pissed that my Dad used money she sent them for Christmas to by my stepsister a new bedroom set. My Dad is pissed cause his wife wants to go to the wedding (obviously) but they can't afford it. Michelle (the bride) is pissed because her mom (and my dad) don't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of, and can't afford to foot the bill on her wedding.

What I don't get, is the fact that Michelle works for special events at the Bellagio, and her fiance works in accounting for the Mirage... I'm sure they could do a fabulous do at either of their casinos.

Glory87 02-02-2010 04:04 PM

Oh man, I would have loved to have gotten married at the Bellagio, it was wayyyy too spendy for me.

cmk79 02-04-2010 02:35 AM

My older brother just proposed to his girlfriend on CHristmas Eve.They're getting married late spring/early summer 2011.I'm so excited and happy for them!

Palestrina 02-04-2010 08:51 AM

Something about your original post makes me think that you don't want to keep it a secret, and that you do want others involved. May I ask why you don't want anybody to know about it? When I was a bride (I had a pretty traditional wedding) my entire family wasn't able to help me plan much because they live very very far away. I felt pretty alone most of the time and I wish I had some help. Though you won't be having a big traditional wedding you could still make it special by planning with your girlfriends the fun details (clothes, shoes, etc.)

I know you also said that you're not planning on having a party but exchanging vows and then plopping down in front of the tv seems a little anti-climatic. Why not at least go out for dinner with the kids afterwards?

I wish you a very happy future with your fiance. I know that if I had to do it all over again I would also opt for something small and understated. Do it the way you like but I would advise you not to go out of your way to make it unspecial - you may come to regret that later.

GreatBigMonsterMomma 02-04-2010 05:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wannabeskinny (Post 3134827)
Something about your original post makes me think that you don't want to keep it a secret, and that you do want others involved. May I ask why you don't want anybody to know about it? When I was a bride (I had a pretty traditional wedding) my entire family wasn't able to help me plan much because they live very very far away. I felt pretty alone most of the time and I wish I had some help. Though you won't be having a big traditional wedding you could still make it special by planning with your girlfriends the fun details (clothes, shoes, etc.)

I know you also said that you're not planning on having a party but exchanging vows and then plopping down in front of the tv seems a little anti-climatic. Why not at least go out for dinner with the kids afterwards?

I wish you a very happy future with your fiance. I know that if I had to do it all over again I would also opt for something small and understated. Do it the way you like but I would advise you not to go out of your way to make it unspecial - you may come to regret that later.

I'm actually torn about opening it up to everybody. We're discussing it, but I want to have all the pieces in place first--we were able to book the park we're going to get married in, and hopefully will have a handle on the officiant shortly. I'm just not sure if anyone will be able to come for a middle of the week wedding, you know? We do plan to, at the least, have a reception early in the summer; we can do that on a weekend where hopefully more folks will be able to come.

I actually did tell my girls, and I feel a lot better about it now. They have elected themselves flower girls. :lol: They're ecstatic, as I figured they'd be. We went out Tuesday & let them try on flower girl dresses (which are fancier than I can afford).

I am, for the record, planning this with the help of my best friend. And thoroughly enjoying it. :)

Don't worry, though--we won't go home and watch TV afterward. ;) Even without a reception right then, we'll hang around the park for a while and play music and go have a nice dinner. It will be quiet, yes, but very special.

Palestrina 02-05-2010 09:05 AM

I'm glad to hear it. You have to do what you feel is right for you and the most important thing is honoring the committment between you and your husband. Enjoy!


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