Originally Posted by ubergirl:
So. I did something COMPLETELY DIFFERENT with my kids. I feed them healthy food, don't restrict, DO discuss health and nutrition, discourage dieting behaviors when their friends started on the typical adolescent diet thing, and NEVER criticized their bodies.

Yes, this is exactly my strategy!

I'm afraid of the signals I send towards anybody around me, which is why I don't like to bring up dieting.

My mom has had me on one diet or another since I was ten years old. It wasn't until 2 years ago that I really became overweight, and now when I look back at pictures of myself as a child and through high school until I lost control, I realized that I was a healthy sized girl. I really feel that my relationship with her has been destroyed because of the way that she has made me feel about myself for the last 12 years, and I would never wish that on any child.

I'm so scared of making people feel the way that I have always felt; ugly, disgusting, and FAT. I think that people are beautiful no matter what they weigh. It's important to be healthy, not skinny. And if you teach your children by that example than they will develop a healthy and beautiful image about themselves.

I really wish I had heard that a lot more. Kids are way too tender to be taught weight and body image. They should be taught nutrition and health.

Originally Posted by Deena52:
When I was growing up, my mom forbid any sort of sweets or junk in the house. There was ONLY what was called "health food" back then allowed in our house. She was seen as rather eccentric.....and today, would probably be classified as having orthorexia. Back then, she was referred to as a "health food nut".

So we kids would literally do anything to get our hands on white bread, sweets, etc.

Grown, we all eat pretty healthy....but all the sisters have had weight issues and also issues with sneaking sweets/junk, cravings, bingeing, etc. We definitely have some disordered eating issues, though nothing severe. Our brothers, not so much...but they're all over 6 ft. tall and fairly athletic.

As a result, though I always prepared and had healthy foods in the house, I never made sweets/junk off-limits to my sons. And it turned out that they ended up being able to take it or leave it when it came to these things....and basically eat pretty healthy and only indulge occasionally.

You see this with alcohol....when you compare the US with other countries where wine, etc. is allowed at meals....even a taste for the kids. When something is totally forbidden, there seems to develop a hidden allure to it.....and more people tend to sneak and indulge and develop problems.....feel compelled to want to have the forbidden item in a daring sort of way.

It's funny....I remember years ago, the cousin of this guy I was dating was significantly over-weight. She had a cute little daughter who was a toddler at the time....and she was almost militantly not allowing the daughter to have ANY sweets, etc....and literally having her eat ALL health-type foods. In fact, she seemed quite proud and bragged about this.

And I remember watching this, remembering my own childhood, and wondering if this child would grow into a teen and sneak out and buy tastycakes and fudgesicles like we did.....and grow up to have her own issues with food and weight due to this.

I also felt it was a bit disingenuous of this woman, who could clearly not manage her own weight issues....to force this extreme plan on her very young daughter....and felt it was likely to cause problems down the road for her. I'm not saying I was right....but it's just how I felt at the time.

deena :)

I'm afraid sometimes I behave like the cousin of that guy when it comes to my two year old boy:(. I don't do it because of image but more because I'm afraid of him developing Diabetes like I did. I agree with you that when something is forbidden for some reason it is more appealing, that's why I'm letting go and not being too strict. I believe balance is the key and your post did give me reaffirmation.

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Growing up I never saw a scale at the house and my mom never judge or made any comments regarding image. Diets were not part of my life growing up. I sometimes wish that there was a little bit more of regulation regarding candy/soda/sweets, we ate healthy but my grandfather and I indulged a lot. On the other hand I'll always be grateful that they exposed me to vegetables, fruits, roots and meat and we grew up close to nature.

Originally Posted by Renacer:
I'm afraid sometimes I behave like the cousin of that guy when it comes to my two year old boy:(. I don't do it because of image but more because I'm afraid of him developing Diabetes like I did. I agree with you that when something is forbidden for some reason it is more appealing, that's why I'm letting go and not being too strict. I believe balance is the key and your post did give me reaffirmation.

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Growing up I never saw a scale at the house and my mom never judge or made any comments regarding image. Diets were not part of my life growing up. I sometimes wish that there was a little bit more of regulation regarding candy/soda/sweets, we ate healthy but my grandfather and I indulged a lot. On the other hand I'll always be grateful that they exposed me to vegetables, fruits, roots and meat and we grew up close to nature.

i grew up ina family of diabetics and im diabetes free.

the fact is t hat little kids are going to eat candy, whether you feed it to them or they find it.

if you maintain a good source of exercise for the kids (i played softball basketball and took gymnastics and irish dance when i was a kid so i was always active) that will definitely help prevent diabetes, but putting them in a bubble wont keep them away from sweets in the future and may just want them want it more in the future

Originally Posted by Ericabauw:
i grew up ina family of diabetics and im diabetes free.

the fact is t hat little kids are going to eat candy, whether you feed it to them or they find it.

if you maintain a good source of exercise for the kids (i played softball basketball and took gymnastics and irish dance when i was a kid so i was always active) that will definitely help prevent diabetes, but putting them in a bubble wont keep them away from sweets in the future and may just want them want it more in the future

You are right. I don't want him to grow up sneaking junk food because I projected my life on his. Believe me, reading this thread made me think about what I do at times and I'm getting better. Thanks all!

P.D. My husband is Irish, let's see if my son develops a passion for Rugby like his dad.:D

My daughter is 11.5 and I have always been super careful about what I say infront of her. I had an eating disorder and had to be hospitalized to treat it when I was a teen. It was horrible and my body suffers the after effects too this day. For that reason and fear of her getting the wrong signals I make sure I don't make negative comments about myself or focus too intently on fat or calories or carbs or no carbs etc. As for food choices she's grown up eating pretty healthy and makes good food choices for herself. She has a sugar allergy so she knows she has to be careful - as she got older she reconizes the connection between feeling awful & sugar intake (I know weird but her daddy had the same issue as a child) when she has too much sugar, be it natural sugar from fruit or from something "bad" for you, she gets super shakey - the first time it happened we thought she was having a seisure - the shaking was so convulsive it was scarey. Sorry, anyway... we try to lead by setting a good example and focus on living healthy. It's not about fat or skinny - it's about being healthy.