[kaplods]

I worked in a women's plus size clothing store when I was in graduate school, and transvestites would come in frequently to shop. It created a dilemma, because our largest customer base was "little old ladies," pregnant women (because we were the only store in town that carried plus-size maternity) and transvestites.

If a crossdresser came in dressed as a woman (especially if they could easily "pass"), we just hoped the other customers in the other dressing rooms were oblivious or near-sighted, but if they came in dressed as men, we weren't sure what we were supposed to do. I think the customers who suspected, assumed that the guys were gay so it was "ok," but there are a lot of heterosexual transvestites, so that's not a valid assumption.

I worked in a large company with a transgendered man. (According to rumor, he had interviewed as a man, but came to his first day of work dressed as a woman). He wore women's clothing, but his body build and facial features made it impossible for him to "pass" as a woman. Not to mention his fashion sense was horrible. Men and women were uncomfortable with him in "their" restrooms (personally, the women's restrooms were so private, I wouldn't have had an issue - unless he was standing on the toilet peering over the stalls, there was no way he could "see" anything). One of the executives
offered the guy use of his private restroom, to settle the uproar it created.

Our local YMCA has a policy that children over 7 are not to be in opposite gender dressing rooms, but they also provide a "family dressing room." Maybe that's a solution for department stores as well (but it may not be feasible for smaller stores).

Being disabled, my husband and I rely on each other for a lot of things. Given our conditions, it's very likely that one of us will eventually, need to regularly assist each other in dressing or using the restroom. As of now, we've already had such occasions, but (knock on wood) we've never yet had to do so in a public situation.

We were shopping recently when I was having some issues. Not enough that I had to stay home, but enough that I was having balance and coordination problems. My solution was to try on blouses over my clothing. Hubby asked me why I wasn't using a dressing room, and I told him that I wasn't sure I could get my clothes back on again, unassisted. He said "I could go in with you," but I wasn't comfortable with that. I certainly would have appreciated a co-ed dressing room option, or even a large handicapped stall with a bit of extra privacy (many stores have that, but usually the handicapped stall is way at the back of the hall, so my husband would have had to run the gauntlet).

To be honest, I don't know how I feel about any or all of these situations.

[Aclai4067]

Originally Posted by Lizzyg

I dont know - I guess I dont see a huge issue with it. Had he been in there alone wandering, without a wife or gf, just in there, then yeah, I'd have a problem with that.

agreed

[Ryanne]

Most places that are nicer have a "Men's" restroom, a "Ladies" restroom and a "Family" restroom. Why not "Family Fitting Rooms" that are maybe so much further away. I have kids, but I think that listening to kids argue with their mothers are the most annoying! When I go to try on clothes, I want a nice, calm experience... not have to listen to other people trying on their clothes and fighting or crying over everything. I am not saying that at my weight trying on clothes is the most "fun" experience, but it could be as peaceful as possible!

[dragonwoman64]

I've never seen a guy in a woman's dressing room that I've been in. I wouldn't be comfortable with that. I'd probably ask a floor worker to say something to him (keeps things neutral). At the Lane Bryant I go to the dressing rooms are along a wall in a large room (with full doors). I've come out for bf to see what I've tried on; he's felt uncomfortable hanging around that area.

I say it's always good to err on the side of caution, I get that spouses and couples can become oblivious to others in their habits, but you're out in public and people deserve their privacy. That said, if I got the impression that a couple had special needs, I would be willing to cut them slack. Life is give and take.

[LookingForMeAgain]

I wouldve gasped loudly shreeked A MAN!!! and ran out of there like a crazy person just for dramatic effect lol

[crcossel]

Eh, I don't mind as long as they are there with their dw/gf. I occasionally go into the dressing room with my dh if its not too busy. Mostly because he is a PITA with shopping and won't come out and show me....plus I know when we needs another size...

[Skinnycow]

There is a Target in our area that only has one set of coed fitting rooms. Old Navy usually has only 1 set.

[sct]

I work a second job in a department store and we had this come up a couple weeks ago. A man was in the women's dressing room with his wife and someone else complained. The associate in that department told him he had to leave. He came up to customer service (where I work) and raised ****. He and his wife 'Spend a lot of money in this store!' so evidently there were allowed to do whatever they wanted *Rolls eyes*. We all thought he was being pretty rude about the whole thing. Obviously the other customers were uncomfortable and he should have respected that.

We hear stories from our security department all the time about men peeping in the womens dressing rooms, so I don't think its at all out of line to be wary of having any man in there.

[Windchime]

I like the idea of "family" dressing rooms. It is such a common-sense approach! When my boys were little, I would take them into the women's dressing room so they could try on clothes. The boy who was not trying on clothes had to sit quietly on the bench while his brother was trying stuff on. Once I was in a dressing room in my underwear and a little boy stuck his head under the wall. He was just a curious little kid and probaby had no idea that he shouldn't do that, but I said, "Hey, I'm trying on clothes, keep your kid out please!" I could tell his poor mother was horrified--I felt kind of bad after that.

But husbands? No. I don't need your husband or boyfriend lurking outside my door while I'm in my undies. As far as special needs go--our local Macy's has a small sign in each dressing room advising shoppers that if they need assistance, an associate would be happy to help them. So that would be my first preference, but if it wasn't available, I would rather have a discreet husband helping his wife rather than have her not be able to shop at all.

[ringmaster]

Originally Posted by Skinnycow

There is a Target in our area that only has one set of coed fitting rooms. Old Navy usually has only 1 set.

I was going to say... don't most smaller stores have same sex dressing rooms? I'm pretty sure Banana Republic and Express is coed also, I remember when I was with my bf we were allowed to walk in and out of the dressing room to check how stuff looked on each other.

[JulieJ08]

I don't think I'd care that much about co-ed dressing rooms if they were quite private. But so many have doors that aren't all that high or have slats or have gaps around the door. That's just not OK.

[lizziep]

you know now that i think of it there are a few co-ed dressing room stores that i've been in. The Eddie Bauer outlet is one of them - just a big row of changing rooms - but the doors actually give you some cover.
I think the worst one I was in was Mervyns back in the day. I'm 5 foot 2 and could see over the doors and into the stalls. THAT IS NOT OKAY! lol.

side note- some amazon lady tried to help me OVER the door in Torrid once, while I was trying on bras. Wouldn't have been such a big deal but we rode the bus together every day and she got a nice full view of my rack. lol. awkward!! I wish that there was more coverage in some dressing rooms, that's for sure! it's bad enough that I'm big and they're tiny for the most part.

[tikanique]

some stores i shop in even have unisex dressing rooms. doesn't bother me as long as it's known it's a co-ed dressing room.

[SmallSteps]

As long as he was there with his wife and not being a pervert trying to look under or over doors I don't see a problem. Now if he was lurking, peeking and being rude and obnoxious of course he shouldn't have been there.

[kaplods]

A lot of stores do have unisex dressing rooms. Even when they don't, I think it's less of an issue when they're dressing cubicles with solid doors. I would feel comfortable bringing my husband into that type of women's dressing room (as opposed to those that have only curtains). In the 80's, I was in a mall store in which there were stalls, but no curtains or privacy barriers at all (except the single curtain separating the dressing room from the store), and half walls separating each stall on two sides. The stalls were doorless and had no mirrors, the only mirror was outside of the dressing stalls in the "common area" of the dressing room. I don't know if such dressing rooms still exist, but if I encountered one, I would choose not to shop at such a store, rather than bring in hubby.

I don't know that I'd be comfortable asking a sales clerk to assist me in dressing. I'm ok in a large locker room, even open showers, because I avoid eye contact and keep my mind on the task at hand, rather than on whether anyone is paying attention to me. To actually have someone, especially a stranger (and especially, especially a thin, attractive, young woman) help me dress and undress, I'd be physically ill from embarassment (and I don't embarass easily).

I know that most women would cut us a bit of slack if they knew our situation, but it's not like I have a sign on my chest that says "cannot lift arms over head, and falls over when standing on one foot." And unfortunately, my husband is not a man likely to go unnoticed in a women's dressing room (He's 6'2," 350 lbs, with long graying auburn hair, a full beard and mustache in shades of gray, auburn and brighter red, with such a booming voice that even his whispers are loud). I've often described him as my "biker-viking," even though he's never owned a motorcycle, and has no norse ancestry.

I do have an interesting story on the topic of "women's privacy." I was having lunch with co-workers in a mexican restaurant (known for good food, but in a run-down section of town). The restaurant was clean, but shabby. There was a single restroom (like a house half-bath room), and there was a huge (head sized or bigger) hole in the bottom third of the door. I didn't like the hole any more than anyone, but it's position was such that for anyone to see anything they would have had to get down on hands and knees or on their belly and then look up in the direction of the toilet (while in view of the entire dining room). I had to use the restroom and I did (as quickly as possible), but felt fairly secure that no one was going to go through those kind of acrobatics with an audience to see ME with my pants around my ankles.

Later, while we were eating, a woman at another table must have "had to go," and took her husband with her, and made him stand against the door, facing the dining room so that no one could possibly "peek." It was so funny that we (and some other diners) couldn't help but laugh. I felt badly for her, because when she came out, her face was beet red, but I couldn't help it, it just made me laugh harder because I couldn't help but picture (I'm a very visual person) one of the other customers or wait staff on hand and knees, or crawling on their belly to get a peek of someone on the can. I still laugh thinking about it.