Wow--can't believe I am jumping into this friggin' fire.
I am wiser than I was as a teen. I have 20+ years of experience I didn't have then. I have more of a *true, honest and sincere* respect for human life and the human experience than I did then and on an entirely new level--to simply say it's "deeper" would be a gross exaggeration of truth. I no longer think I am invincible. I have more self-respect than I did then. My self-esteem is rock solid. I know who I am. I know what I am about. I know what I stand for and no problem standing up for it. My brain (as most humans) didn't fully develop until my mid20's. Grasping the full gammet of human sexuality and what it means didn't come until way after that.
I am not saying that one person or another is wrong here. The decision to become sexually active or not is huge and unto itself, life altering in the best of circumstances.
Will my children be sexually active? I don't know. What I do know is that I will share all my knowledge with them. Not just condoms, birth control or trips to a doctor--those are simply physical things. It is just so, so much more than that.
Wow--can't believe I am jumping into this friggin' fire.
I am wiser than I was as a teen. I have 20+ years of experience I didn't have then. I have more of a *true, honest and sincere* respect for human life and the human experience than I did then and on an entirely new level--to simply say it's "deeper" would be a gross exaggeration of truth. I no longer think I am invincible. I have more self-respect than I did then. My self-esteem is rock solid. I know who I am. I know what I am about. I know what I stand for and no problem standing up for it. My brain (as most humans) didn't fully develop until my mid20's. Grasping the full gammet of human sexuality and what it means didn't come until way after that.
I am not saying that one person or another is wrong here. The decision to become sexually active or not is huge and unto itself, life altering in the best of circumstances.
Will my children be sexually active? I don't know. What I do know is that I will share all my knowledge with them. Not just condoms, birth control or trips to a doctor--those are simply physical things. It is just so, so much more than that.
You get it Truly.
and trust me, BCP and condoms were the LAST part of this ongoing conversation. I have had these conversations with my daughter since before she was my daughter. (she's my step daughter but I am raising her).
since the day I became her full time female caretaker we have talked about love and marriage and babies and respect and waiting...
she asked me when I had sex first and I told her the truth.
IF you do the math you would know her father was conceived before his teen mother was married... Kids are not stupid but they are also not mini adults, and it takes experience to learn to make good choices.
how many of us say "oh I would never be 16 again unless I could know what I know now"
ladybugnessa, many times, people listen to other people, including teens really listening to their parents, and things turn out well ... they find they can learn from their parents' experience. I followed my Mom's advice on many things, and she was right! You don't need to allow a child to jump out a second story window (and break their neck) to let them learn for themselves that it's not a good thing to do!
ladybugnessa, many times, people listen to other people, including teens really listening to their parents, and things turn out well ... they find they can learn from their parents' experience. I followed my Mom's advice on many things, and she was right! You don't need to allow a child to jump out a second story window (and break their neck) to let them learn for themselves that it's not a good thing to do!
ya know we had three rules in our house when the boys were little
1. don't play in traffic
2. don't play with fire
3. don't play with knives
everything else was negotiable.
I might not let then jump out a second story window but I might let them jump off a high diving board...
you need to choose your battles carefully.
and you need to teach tolerance.
and judgment.
I don't want my kids doing things 'because my mom told me so'. I want my kids to do things because they KNOW it's the right thing to do.
they can SAY it's the right thing to do because their mommy said it is... doesn't mean they believe it.
Okay, lbn, end of discussion ... (for me, anyway.) We'll never agree on this subject, so ... peace ... and I hope your way of doing things works out well for you and yours.
my mom told me when i was 14 that no matter what, she would always love me. i was suspicious and said, "okay...." then she said, "if you have a girlfriend or a boyfriend, a husband or a wife, a baby at 16 or a baby at 26 or a baby at never, i will always love you."
i didn't have sex until i was 18 and i've been in my current relationship for five years. and i've never had a baby (yet).
my mom told me when i was 14 that no matter what, she would always love me. i was suspicious and said, "okay...." then she said, "if you have a girlfriend or a boyfriend, a husband or a wife, a baby at 16 or a baby at 26 or a baby at never, i will always love you."
i didn't have sex until i was 18 and i've been in my current relationship for five years. and i've never had a baby (yet).
aw shucks..
I was an early starter with the boyfriend.. but I never got pregnant till I was married and wanted to.
my older son is 25 and he's emotionally disabled but he's still able to talk to us about sex and he still knows how to be responsible enough to wear condoms. And he was past 21 when he choose to have sex.
Younger son turns 23 next week. Graduated this year from Drexel University. Graduated high school a virgin, but also felt safe enough to discuss his sexual concerns with his mom and stepdad (my husband) I believe he was 20 when he lost his virginity.
My daughter (she's really my step) and I had talked about sex since she was in 6th grade and she knew we felt it was important for her to make it special. she came to me MONTHS in advance (after being told she needed to trust us and come to us) and said "I think I"m getting ready can I go to the doctor"
I took her.. and I was honored that she felt safe enough to come to me....
No I'm not the best mom but ya know what.. I Know where my kid is even when she's not with me I know who she's with, she chooses to be with us sometimes instead of being with her friends or sulking in her room. She does her chores willingly. Her friends feel they can talk to us as well and think we are the "cool folks" and are here more than anywhere else...
we know these kids are not roaming the streets, we know they are not doing drugs, we know they don't drink or steal....
all of them have friended us on facebook and hide nothing from us.
and speaking of Twilight, i'm totally writing a paper about vampire series fiction right now. (and i'm comparing it to "wealthy teen" fiction, like Gossip Girl.) i'm keeping some of our conversations in mind!
and speaking of Twilight, i'm totally writing a paper about vampire series fiction right now. (and i'm comparing it to "wealthy teen" fiction, like Gossip Girl.) i'm keeping some of our conversations in mind!
very cool.
as for Twilight, i saw the movie at the beach at the end of June and since I love sci-fi I loved it. but the FI part of sci-fi is FICTION....
I got the books to read for when I'm recuperating from WLS later this year
