Shoes! Husbands! Gack!
 

Rant ahead... :devil:

I suffer from severe shoe envy. My left foot has this big, ugly bunion looking thing at the base of my big toe, and it sticks way out to the side. All shoes hurt that foot until it gets stretched out, and IMO it's hideously ugly. I won't wear sandals because of it (and would LOVE to get a cute pair of capris to wear, but can get no shoes to wear with them), and it's a huge trial to buy dress shoes that hide it, look good and fit right.

So my husband and I will have our second anniversary on July 4. We're going to be with family that day, so we're planning a nice dinner out on Friday night. I've got a skirt to wear, and need some shoes. I wore a pair recently to my nephew's graduation, and they were too big (hadn't worn them since the weight loss)...they destroyed my feet. Literally left holes on the backs of my heels. That's the only pair I have.
When I go shoe shopping...it takes time. I have to wade through all the super cute, adorable wonderful shoes I'd DIE to wear on my feet, and find a pair I don't absolutely hate, that fit right and don't hurt too badly to wear. My husband does NOT understand this, and got mad this morning when I told him I wanted to use part of my day off tomorrow to drive to our closest big city, go to several shops and find a good, nice pair of shoes I liked to wear to our anniversary dinner. Said it's a waste because "You looked forever at shoes last weekend and didn't get anything. You're too picky."

We looked at Payless and Wal-Mart. Five minutes TOPS each store, and he was huffing and puffing about how I should "just pick something" so he could leave.

Grrrrr....sometimes I wish I could trade places for him, for just a single day. And make him go shopping for clothes that fit my body, look good considering my saggy boob situation, shoes that fit my feet and all the while have ME standing over his shoulder griping about how it shouldn't take as long!

End rant...sorry!

Keds can look cute with capris and be really comfy.

I totally understand on both issues I live several hours from towns 2hrs so DH always goes shopping with me and YES 5 min. limit and YES after being a waitress for over 20 years and working on my feet the other 2o years before that I GET IT!!! I am sorry for you

Hmmm...I could try Keds. For being as tall as I am, I've never been a fan of flat shoes, but I could make an exception maybe for the joy of wearing capris...

I think a lot of my problem is that I try things on and they don't "look like 'me'" if that makes any sense...maybe my sense of what "looks like me" should change with my body...

GF run to Charlotte Russe. The price on shoes is reasonable (they had styles similar to my Nine West pairs) and what I would suggest is a sling back without the peep toe. I just got the sexiest pair from there in black (I love my peep toes but I got to have something for winter).

gah I know what you mean! My feet are a normal looking size 8, but yet most shoes I find hurt them somewhere! I'm currently sporting an injured achilles because of this. :( Anyway, my best friend is the dr. scholl's section of the drugstore (as well as moleskin!). They seriously have a gel insert for every part of the shoe that rubs or hurts. I once had a huge bunion on the side of my foot (kind of like the bone was growing out), but once I stopped wearing those narrow chucks it went away.

Oh, Mindi, I hear you. At least on the shoes part. I know better than to take my BF shopping with me! I tell him "I'm going to the city to shop for xyz, see ya!" We live 1 1/2 hours from a city, so it is quite a hike to shop.

I have always had very wide, oddly shaped feet, and a weird shaped heel that gets ripped up and blistered really by most shoes. In my 20's this has been compounded by genetic bunions that are getting worse by the day. I feel your pain! (literally). I've heard really well-constructed heels, aka the super expensive ones, are comfortable, but I've never even looked into buying any b/c I just can't afford it. So I make due with a lot of low-rise shoes. Wedges don't seem to hurt as much. I get sandals in the more traditional flip-flop shape (this is an example) b/c see your bunion can stick out the side without rubbing against anything. Many shoe companies make this basic shape in wedge, heel, or flats, dressier or more casual styles. I think sandals like this look really cute with capris, skirts, etc.

Ballet flats are also something I've bought lately. I've found some rather flimsily constructed ones, but this allows the outer walls to be "soft" enough not to rub hard and cause blisters. I put Dr. Scholl's insoles (buy at the pharmacy or just about any store) in them to make them more supportive for my foot. Again, the lack of heel helps keep my feet pain-free.

I know what size and width new balance sneakers fit my feet so I order those online (as I said I live far from the city). I just stick to the same brand so I know my size for athletic shoes.

As for enclosed high-heeled type shoes, I'm lucky in that I don't have to wear them for my job/life. So I can't help you there!

I'm trying to think of brands I've tried that have wide with and more cushioning that accommodate wider protrusions from the foot - Easy Spirit, Clark's, Naturalizer. I treat finding shoes like I treat buying any other clothes. Sure I would like to buy a skinny jean (or a really high heel), but it's just not going to work with my body type, so I'm going to find a straight-legged jean that really flatters my shape. I think it's important to bring a pair of socks and those pantyhose things to the shoe store, put on both shoes, and walk around the store several times to see if a shoe will really feel good walking around in.

Oh, and tell your husband that your time is your time! Tell him that since he's such a horrible shopping companion you're leaving him at home. Or don't tell him anything at all, just leave and go enjoy your shopping trip! Good luck!

I don't know if you've considered it, but my mom had foot surgery to correct her foot. It was when I was a kid, so I'll have to ask her if it was a bunion, but I remember her foot had a very pronounced growth by the big toe (which on my foot is a leeetle knobby thing) - on her foot it really stuck out and twisted her big toe out. She got it fixed!

I've recently begun thinking about it. I think it IS a bunion....but I've pretty much had it for as long as I can remember, since I was a kid. I think it's unusual for that to happen, but it DOES happen. Before it just bothered me when I tried to wear nice, open-toed shoes, or was breaking in a new pair of boots, but recently it's started hurting a lot of the time, and it's hard to do a lot of my Jillian Michaels videos because the jumping around puts a lot of pressure on the area and causes pain...

Something I may look into, if it'll fix it...

Hon, if it IS a bunion, you can get that taken care of. As a day surgery. You can FIX this, and get those cute little shoes you always wanted. I've known alot of people who have had the surgery, and it has made a huge difference...

:hug:
Kira

Can you go without your hubby? Then you can take your SWEET time and if he complains tell him shove it lol ;)

Make a day of it- invite one of your gfs!

I feel your pain. I go shopping by myself now, so I don't have to worry about rushing.

yeah, maybe going out of your style comfort zone might be fun. experiment.

I have to walk so much living in NY that I really feel like I have to choose comfort/practicality over fashion. I wear sneakers a lot of the time.

ugh men just don't get it!! my hubby and i fight if i have more then like 3 pairs of shoes at any one time. i tell him he's lucky i'm low maintenance and even I can't live with that few shoes! Every time I even glance in the direction of shoes he gets mad. i have tennis shoes, a pair of doc martens which are sadly the closest thing i have to a dress shoe, a pair of sandals. oh and my old docs i can't part with that i've had waaay longer then the husband. i never wear them but i'm not ready to see them go just yet.

my feet are funky too. i have hobbit feet. they're flat and wide. i usually can't even find a dress shoe that fits.

i agree- go without him and take your time. not worth it to rush and wind up in more pain.

I feel your pain! I have bunionettes on both of my feet, so I can wear only wide shoes. I'm also a 8 3/4, so 8 1/2 are too small and 9 are too big.

I never take DB shopping for clothes, and if I could leave him home for groceries, I would :p Can you go by yourself?

I give DH options:
Hon, do you want to come shopping with me, or do you want to strip the sod from the front lawn? RESULT -- sod gets stripped!

Hon, do you want to come shopping with me, or double-dig our garden bed?
RESULT - garden bed is ready to go!

Hon, do you want to come shopping with me or clean out the garage? RESULT - garage cleaned!!!

Sometimes, shopping is GOOD...:D

Kira

Have you ever checked out Zappos? They have zillions of shoes, pretty much any style imaginable, with free shipping both ways. So you can order several styles/sizes at once, see if any of them work, and send back the ones that don't. The return process is really easy, with no hassles. If you got online right now, you could probably even get shoes in time for your anniversary. When I order, I always pick the standard (free) shipping. But every single time, Zappos has upgraded me to overnight shipping, at no charge. Last Thursday, I ordered a pair of shoes at about 9:30 p.m. They were waiting on my porch for me when I came home from work the next day. In addition to the brands that Megan mentioned, Born, Sofft, Soft Spots and Dansko are very comfortable. Those brands are pricey, though, unfortunately. I have foot problems after breaking my heel in car wreck a few years ago, and I finally figured out that I'm better off spending more money to get fewer pairs of really good, really comfortable shoes.

Good luck!

I have to second the suggestion for Zappos. I just sent back a pair of dress shoes; they weren't quite right. Nice shoes, I just didn't like the way they fit. The return process is ridiculously easy; they even give you a free shipping label. I then ordered a pair of sandals late Tuesday night. They were delievered today at 1:30 PM, and I live way the heck up here in Washington state. I don't know if I like them, so I will probably send them back for the other pair that I do like. Like Continga, I have always been upgraded on shipping and I don't think I've waited longer than 2 working days for my shoes.

Seriously, try Zappos. And sometimes it is worth it to pay a little extra for a good shoe, especially when you have a special situation like a painful bunion. You can even read reviews from others who have purchased the shoe you're looking at.

:lol: That's awesome!

Mindi,

I feel your pain. I have really wide feet (I think I should just say I have fins in place of feet) so 90% of shoes are out for me. To add insult to injury, now I have plantar fasciitis so it means it will most likely affect what shoes I will be able to wear after the PF goes away (if ever).

Second ... I think I read another post of yours where you mentioned that your Dh was impatient when you shopped. He sould like an old grump to me, but really, why do you go shoppng with him? I understad you have to drive a distance to get to some decent stores, but rather having him spoil my mood I would drop him off somewhere at a patio and he can have some beer while you shop (or whatever ... he can go to Home Depot and drool over drill bits and chain saws).
He needs to understand that you just can't hit a shoe store, grab the first pair of shoes that you see, pay and leave. It's a lot more complicated than that, especially if one is "blessed" with a foot problem like you and I.
Or, preferably, leave him at home to work on the lawn, as Kira said ... if it is an option.

and if all else fails strangle him with a shoe lace!? :)

If it helps Converse makes some super cute sneakers that come in several diffrent styles, even mary janes. Target carries them.

I like the shoelace idea, lizziep!!!

Well, an update...I found shoes! They're peep toe with a heel and the top part, that goes over the toes (and the bunion) is a really, really soft leather. It covers everything I don't want seen, and my feet look nearly normal! Yay!

Sounds very cute!

Thanks for the update, Mindi. Congrats on the new shoes.
Otherwise, I would have voted for the shoe lace myself. LOL

Mindi - congrats on doing the impossible! FYI in case you're looking for something comfy with coverage - visit the Crocs site. They've added a LOT of new styles this year that use that Croslite stuff, and they actually nailed a couple that are attractive and you wouldn't recognize as Crocs. They all seem to run big and wide - it seems like their trademark is the wiggly room for toes. Freakin' fabulous!

Mindi - Yay for new shoes! Can we have pics, please? :D

You know what...we didn't even take pictures!!! How goofy are we? I'll have to put the outfit back on and snap a couple to post...

I had bunion surgery back in 2007. Definitely worth it. I have a scar on the top of my foot but it's nothing compared to the previous deformity. I remember the first time I tried on cute shoes after I healed and they fit and didn't hurt! That was so exciting. I was by myself and called my husband to tell him.

I suggest getting someone to look at it. I was embarrassed about it and my husband was trying to get me to go to the doctor forever, but I was so ashamed. As soon as my doctor saw it, he asked "Who in your family has bunions?" because it was so obviously a problem and so huge for someone my age.

I had the surgery on a Friday morning, and they sent me home with something like novacaine injected into my foot, so it was numb most of the first day. They put me in a walking boot so I didn't need to be on crutches, and I got the good drugs. I went back to work on either Tuesday or Wednesday the next week, and it could have been sooner except I didn't realize that the drugs I took the night before were what was making me so drowsy the next day.

So yes, I highly recommend getting it looked at. They're progressive so the sooner you get it looked at, the better.

In the meantime, might I suggest flip flops whenever possible? There are so many cute styles now. I only started wearing them and wished I had worn them when I had the bunion. That would have relieved a lot of pain, at least in the summer.

How long did it take you to recover, Amy8888? I'm not sure how long I can go without working out.....I'd go nuts without it, I think!

Mindi - First of all you look amazing! Great job at looking gorgeous! The women in my family all have wider feet. I don't love my 'piggies' but try to still wear cute/fashionable shoes.

I agree sometimes all the cute sandals are either uncomfortable or don't look good on. Have you tried a 'mule' or a little sling back heel? They look really sharp with capris and even skirts...

Sometimes men and shopping aren't always a good mix. But good for you for being patient and understanding :)