when they are overweight, but women fall under the gross, disgusting, ugly, lazy, unworthy category?

Anyone else notice this?

Seems when it comes to plump men they are cute and cuddly.

Not so much for women. We are lard asses and fatties!

Grr....not fair!

Give me your input and insight to this topic.

thanks....gail

I am not attracted to obesity, regardless of sex. I prefer slightly underweight and non-muscular men though...I never went for the hunky body builder types. Not that the slimmer hunks with six-packs aren't attractive. I guess I just prefer a better developed muscle between the ears, and the nerdy types I find more appealing.

Well... I think it mostly has to do with the age we live in. It's been different through the ages. In past centuries if a woman was, shall we say "rubinesque" she was considered very desirable (as evidenced by all the renaissance paintings of full-figured women), maybe we were born in the wrong century?? Seriously though I think it's really complicated, and has to do with how perceptions of ourselves has been molded by whatever media is available at the time and perhaps that media being predominantly driven by testosterone.

I heard once that the people with the most body image issues are the ones dating men - whether that means heterosexual women, or homosexual men. I expect that is oversimplified, but it makes you think.

Julie --that's interesting! And I do notice whenever I'm dating someone (a man) my self esteem drops and so does my body image. When there is no man in life (ie. now) I feel fantastic!

As for the topic it is annoying. I've dated somewhat overweight men, who were more overweight than I was at the time, they constantly commented on my weight but never mentioned theirs. Men may get away with it because it's easier to hide their weight, where as woman wear form fitting clothes. Plus I think men just in general get away with a lot more in life than women...

I dont really notice that men and women are treated that differently about weight outside of the workplace, although I think the standards for men and women are vastly different. (i.e. chubby men and chubby women are treated about the same but the definition of chubby for a woman is much thinner than for a man) In the workplace I think it is different up to a point. I think very overweight men are treated just as badly, if not worse.

Age is another area. Men are distinguished, women"let themselves go"

Women are just overall more judged by appearance and held to a higher physical standard than men are. What that standard is changes with fashion (rubenesque vs. twiggy vs. anorexic.) In general though I think it is largely WOMEN who are the harsh critics, not men. Men in general are more along the lines of "boobs - check, butt- check, will let me see her naked - check, ok looks good"

i don't think all overweight men fall under the category 'teddy bear". he has to appear cuddly and have that sort of nice guy personality.

cuz a guy can have a beer gut and not be the cuddly sort, or they can just be morbidly obese and sloppy looking and that's a different sort of appearance.

teddy bear body types are kind of thickly built and carry the weight well.

One the other hand, there are men that like women with extra padding.
Pleasingly plump, voluptuous, curvey, BBW. there are positive words for women that are on the large side.

it all depends what someone finds attractive.

And not all bigger women will fit into the BBW category... Some women can pull off being big and sexy,.. others like myself just look big, sloppy, flabby, not sexy at all.

My boyfriend is a "teddy-bear" type and even he makes comments to me about my weight calling me his beefy baby! He's allowed to carry a little extra weight around, but me, forget about it!

While I would never generalize and say that ALL bigger women fit the BBW category - I think that attitude and confidence are very important. When I think I look big and flabby and not sexy - I come off that way. When I think I look terrific - I do look terrific.

The difference is in my head, not my weight. When I feel good about myself, I take better care of myself, carry myself differently, and act differently - all of which affects how others see me.

In other words - I think that there is a BBW inside most of us - we just need to believe it ourselves - and act accordingly.

Because in general women have always been viewed as special little creatures. Those who are like delicate flowers. Women have always been second class,and have been seen as the weeker sex. Things are changing and a lot different than they used to be, but for a long time in history women were just ehh something to look at, something to look pretty.

And because they were seen as that, well, men want something nice to look at. A tight body in the US culture is somehow more appealing than a curvy body. I also think it has to deal with body shape. Men tend to gain weight in their tummies, where as women gain weight in their hips. Big hips make the body look more off balanced. Weight in the middle look like a big squishy teddy bear.

I don't agree with it though. Those sterotypes are lame. Inner beauty is what matters.

It's discrimination, basically.

BULL MALARKEY!

You are looking at it from a woman's point of view.

Take it from a very plump man.

I dare say NO ONE considers me cute and cuddly!

I still dont think it is MEN who are making these unreasonable demands on our appearance. Sorry, men are not nearly as judgmental as women. And I doubt seriously that apple women are considered cute and squishy more than pear women.