Things to do when you become single again...
 

K ladies. I need some fun. My husband moved out on Monday and has proceeded with the legal seperation/divorce process. I'm torn and have been having a BAD couple of months. BUT, today is looking brighter.

Thought I would start a fun thread. Things you did, or ideas you have to move on with your life and feel good again... Bring em on!

1 - Start a new hobby. Did you always want to learn how to draw? Bike? any crafts you'd be interested in learning?

2 - Visit some place local you'd like to go. Go to the zoo, museum, aquarium, etc.

3 - Find an interesting book to read.

4 - Search for local events within your city.

It takes time but I think when you become single is a great time to do things that you may have not been able to do while you were married/dating.

I do need to think about a hobby....But not sure what.
I live in a REALLY small town. No zoo's or anything like that around here.
Got any book ideas? For good laughs and none of this self help crap?? :)
Again, REALLY small town. Can I come visit anyone that lives someplace cool?? :) haha!

I am sorry to hear that things have been tough for you.

Check with your local park district to see what kind of classes or unique outings they may be offering. Go for something you have never done before.

I am part of a Mom's group through my church that meets once a week. They have been such a blessing during my down times. I didn't even realize I needed them until I joined.

Most importantly, be a little bit selfish for a while. Do what YOU want to do, when you want to do it. You don't need to consider HIM anymore before making decisions.

aww you live in WI. i was gonna say COME PARTAY IN TEXAS! haha

as far as books, it's not really self help but kind of. and not really weight loss but kind of... How to Eat Like a Hot Chick and How to Love Like a Hot Chick. I LOVE these books!! SOOO fun to read and they will totally make you feel like a million bucks. ;)

The last time I went through a hard breakup I did three things that really worked - I started volunteering (for me, the right place was the Humane Society - dogs adore you no matter what!) where I made some new friends, felt good about myself, and got to spend my time valuably where I wanted to be. I spent a lot more time with my girlfriends, which made both them and myself feel more important in my life. And I started working out hardcore - originally with the vengeful plan that I would look AWESOME when he saw me next, but it worked into just feeling better about myself. (And I did look awesome when he saw me next!)
This is time you can spend for YOU now.

I signed up for a sprint-triathlon and was terrified I wouldn't be able to complete it. I was so focussed on training for it, when I came up for air again after the event, (which I DID manage to complete) I all of a sudden realized how much time had passed without me thinking about it, how much fun it was and how gratifying it was to accomplish that, I felt like wonder-woman, ready to face anything! I highly recommend doing something you're scared of!

I am newly single also. As someone suggested, I am going to start volunteering more. It makes me feel good to help out someone or something in need, plus you get to meet new people and make new friends that may have similar interests as you. A new hobby is a good one too. I am also investing more time into myself. Right now it is just little things, like trying out new hair-do's and trying different make-up techniques..giving myself manicures and pedicures...anything that will make me feel better about myself.

Good luck with your journey! I hope that you find things that you never knew you liked to do!

Start a book club, new exercise routine, go back to college, go out to eat at places that did not interest him, same with movies get caught up on the ones you wanted to see but didn't. Libraries...great place for connecting with clubs, other moms etc. Will you continue going to the same church as you have been? Start a single ladies bible study. Or if you are looking for something racier. Pole dancing classes with a BFF. Wine tasting...I could go on and on!

i did all the things he discouraged me from doing. that included going back to school and getting more cats. lol
i started doing some artsy things and also started entertaining ideas about the future's possibilities that i never had before! the whole world is open to you now!
its all going to be a lot of fun!

Maybe it's too soon or you're not interested, but dating sure helped me move on! When my last relationship ended, I thought my soulmate was gone and that was it for the rest of my life... but after a couple weeks, I went on several dates and nobody stuck, but it felt good, I felt more alive. You say you live in a small town so maybe that's not realistic.

Also... do you want to continue to live in the small town? Maybe a move would help you?

I also booked a trip to San Francisco with my girlfriends... one of the most fun trips I've been on.

I think everyone is telling you to just get out there and live life. Think of all those things you envied about single people and do them!

Sorry to hear this, but life does go on.

Find a really good legitimate online dating service in your area. Not everybody are pervs on the internet.

My BFF just married a man she met on christian cafe.

I sat around and got fat. Not such a good plan.

Definitely live it up with friends and family. You asked about books. Jennifer Weiner is a fun author you might like (Good in Bed was great, though focuses more on body image). I plan on checking out the two Corazonas mentioned.

Would you be ready for a single's cruise or not yet since it's only a seperation? I recall you saying you had a daughter--how would you feel about meeting up with other single moms to discuss things?

I know what I would NOT do:

cook, clean or shave my legs for at least a little while!! LOL

Great ideas everyone. I'm such a downer right now. I have an excuse for almost every good idea you all gave. My biggest down fault is really the very small town and area I live in. The nearest town with really anything to do or groups like you talked about is Madison and that's over 2 hours away. Moving away is not possible though because of my very good job and the visitation agreement we have set up for our daughter. Pooey. I also still attend collage and will be done with my third degree in May. My ex had my daughter the last two nights which may be why I'm feeling like such a downer today. I did go out and meet up with girlfriends both nights but still felt horrible once I got home and felt like I was faking all conversation while with them. And I've been donig everything to be civil and nice for my daughter (and secretly hoping he will get his head out of his butt) and then last night he blocked me from his myspace. Why? I don't know. Just because he knew that would kill me. Nice. Ahhh, OK, enough of that today!

I'm going to check out the books you guys mentioned. As far as church, we already have a Mom's group but it meets during the day time while I'm at work every other week. Plus, they are all happily married (there are only 3 in the group) and two are expecting babies.

I also really need to get some motivation and get in shape like crazy! It's "his" weekend with her so I can spend as much time as I want at the gym!

Start dating his brother or best friend! LOL! That'll show him! :D

ok, ok just kidding.....

when my spouse left I decided to make myself a better person and do all the things I always dreamed of doing.

but first I got counseling for my kid to help her cope with all that went on, after that...

I started taking acting and drama classes privately and in community college and then doing community theater and eventually got my SAG card and went on to film, television and commercials (all parts that if you blink you would miss me but hey I got in! LOL)

I got really serious about music and started taking music lessons (guitar and mandolin) and getting out and going to music jams, picking parties and open mic nights. And now I play in a band and teach music lessons myself.

I think it is good to do some things to distract you and help you get over this rough part of your life but think about this...

you are FREE! You can DO or BE anything that you want!

Ask yourself this. What is it that you have always dreamed of doing???

Become a writer? play a musical instrument? write poetry and have it published? becoming a gourmet chef? opening up a piercing and tattoo parlor? (ok thats one of mine! LOL),

The sky is the limit! You could start by looking into your local community college or adult education classes in your city.

My spouse ran off and left me with our kid... I was destroyed at the time. In retrospect it was the best thing that ever happened to me because I would not be who I am today if I hadn't gone through what I did!

I discovered who I really am!
:)

For pure laughs try The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams. Or just about anything by P.G. Wodehouse. Mr. Midshipman Easy by Captain Frederick Marryat is also totally hilarious.

Wow, very inspiring post there! THANK YOU! I did play the piano growing up and have thought about getting back into it and getting really good. (I've been asking the DH for a piano since I met him, but never got one...) Maybe now is the time...once I get enough money saved up!

I feel like I've done everything else I wanted to do though and am/was ready for the pure family life of being a mom and wife. I joined the military (still in the guard), almost done with my third degree, have a good job, beautiful child with dreams of having more. If I could do ANYTHING, I would move somewhere that I could open my eyes and see the ocean every day and where it's warm all year round....but that isn't possible with having my daughter or my good job I have right now.

I'm going to start saving for a piano. And become a running/work out fool!

If you can't move to the beach then save up and buy a timeshare in Florida. Buy used and you can get them dirt cheap, My best friend has one in St. Augustine and get to use it when she doesn't and I LOVE it!


OR get that piano and again if you buy used you can get them cheap and learn to play!

first, take time to mourn the loss. dont jump into new things too quickly, but dont sit in the misery too long, but experiance it, then let it go. hopefully you can have an amicable relationship later. good luck to you!