Whoever said "Love is an action, not a feeling" must have never really loved anyone. I CHOOSE to perform actions; walking, tying my shoes, bathing, etc....I don't CHOOSE to love someone, I just do....or I don't. Does anyone else feel that way?
However, I do agree that "sometimes love just ain't enough".
Well, there's different kinds of love. Any day, hands down, I (for myself, and for my kids) would take a man who committed and chose to treat me well and was reasonably a good match for me, over a soul mate with addictions or other problems keeping him from functioning well, much less making me a better person.
Gary-first, I'm totally shocked that a group of men was actually discussing 'relationship' issues Are the planets realigning or something?
Anyway, I agree that love is something that you can have with just about anyone, but it won't keep things together when the going gets tough. It helps, but it's not the totality. My mom still loves my dad and vice versa, even though neither one would ever say that, but there was no way that they could live together one more day, because there wasn't the trust or respect that is necessary to support the love. If the respect for the other's opinions and needs isn't there, communication breaks down and you're left with a hollow shell of a relationship. Going through a bit of this with my DH right now and I know that the love we have isn't going to be enough-it's going to take an attitude change toward respecting and trusting for our marriage to survive, even though I know some of it is residual from his first marriage and his general unhappiness right now. But, anyway, maybe Aretha had it right with "R-E-S-P-E-C-T"!
I think when the one you love is being "sweet on you" it is easy to love them back...it is when they aren't that real love from you is either given or not.
RONNI ~You might just be surprised about what guys talk about! We just might be....some of us anyway...a bit more "observant" than you think
happy2bme ~ Not so sure....what attracted me to Angie was the fact that she was not afraid to be herself ~ we met in person (we had talked on the phone) when she was sick as all get out....all bundled up and blowing her nose every few minutes....she was so cute I just asked her what was "it" about me and she said that I was comfortable to be with and not offended that she was going to get a tattoo....which she did the following week.
BIBLE ON LOVE ~
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
I guess it depends on what someone's definition of love is. When I think of love, I think of respect, and sacrifice, and patience and faith... they are all part of that "action" of loving... so by my definition, then, yes, love is enough. But someone else may see "love" differently.
I personally feel that the reason most relationships fail isn't because they don't love their partner... I think it's because they didn't love themselves enough first. Loving ourselves, and learning as much about ourselves as possible, and respecting ourselves... I think it's more important than loving the other person. When you can be happy on your own, and love yourself and respect yourself, and take time to make sure you have all your own priorities straight... loving someone else is a whole heck of a lot easier. When you don't love yourself or know yourself enough, it's easier to make bad choices ... to let people disrespect you, treat you badly, and make you unhappy. I think people who don't love and respect themselves first end up picking a partner that doesn't treat them right or isn't a good fit, because they are blinded by infatuation (not love).
So, I think love is enough (by my definition of love, anyway)... but love of self first, and THEN loving someone else.
Without loving someone you dont want to make a commitment, you dont want to work at a relationship. Everything that makes a good marriage in my opinion comes from love. Love is what keeps you from cheating. If you dont love someone you dont care if you hurt them.
Just my two cents.
Ps. the Beatles in my opinion are THE greatest band lol. I walked down the aisle to "She's got a way about her" and walked back down it to "8 days a week"
Without loving someone you dont want to make a commitment, you dont want to work at a relationship. Everything that makes a good marriage in my opinion comes from love. Love is what keeps you from cheating. If you dont love someone you dont care if you hurt them.
I'm not so sure. Love might keep me from ending things, but choice is what keeps me from cheating, regardless of love. But maybe this is just a semantic difference.
Love is not enough. You have to be willing to put work into a relationship, to compromise, to be honest, to trust. How many times have you heard an upset friend say "But I looooooooove him!!!" after crying about how horrible they are for each other?!
That being said- I also think that you can make a relationship work with anyone- depending on how much of yourself you really are willing to compromise.
In the end I think you need both love and a willingness from BOTH PARTNERS to work hard for a relationship to work and be worthwhile.
I'm not so sure. Love might keep me from ending things, but choice is what keeps me from cheating, regardless of love. But maybe this is just a semantic difference.
I see your view point. From my view point my choices are influenced by my feelings....feelings like love.
Are the planets realigning or something?
