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kaplods 01-04-2009 11:15 PM

Caution TMI ahead:

Hubby and I were both VERY nervous about our first nekkid time, because we're both large folks and we were even larger when we met. But, the thing is, clothes don't usually cover up nearly as much as we think it does. It wasn't like we were going to take our clothes off and the other person was going to be shocked "oh, my gosh, you're fat... I had no idea, why didn't you tell me."

A sense of HUMOR helps alot, really. Nothing is sexier than having fun. Once, at band camp... sorry couldn't resist, no it wasn't at band camp, but with my husband I brought Crayola waterproof markers into the bedroom and we drew tattoos on each other wherever we wanted. Hubby drew little puzzle pieces on my giant tummy and I drew (a teddy bear, I think) on his rump. Sorry if this is TMI - but it's cute and sexy when you weigh 110 and gross and nauseating at 300 plus, right? Well, we had fun with it anyway.

I was really nervous, because in my head it sounded like fun, but after I explained the games "rules" I immediately regretted it and thought "Geez, he's going to think I'm a humongous, giant (in both senses of the word) dork" - and I think he did, but luckily he apparently finds humongous, giant dorks attractive.

Getting comfortable with your body is a lot like weight loss itself, you do it by well doing it. You "act as if," and "fake it 'til you make it."

garstar 01-04-2009 11:52 PM

This is some great advice, I've been struggling with the same thing to - I just have to find that confidence!

Lovely 01-05-2009 08:15 AM

This is a board full of "TMI's" but I'll just give a TMI heads up in case.

I've always been pretty okay with myself. Perhaps that comes from a lifetime of looking at hand-mirrors.

But after being with a couple of guys who didn't notice that I wasn't supposed to like having sex since I was fat, I realized that I just have to feel sexy and let my guy know that I want to have sex... in order to have it. (Wow, long-winded.)

The best thing for me: lingerie. I love how confident it makes me feel. And a good, hot bra really helps to boost things. It's a little naughty to say "Ah-ah, can't take that off." This doesn't mean I'm never in the buff when we have sex, but lingerie can often give me the confidence to get in the buff.

Believe me, the hub finding me attractive even when I bend over in sweat pants & a giant t-shirt does help, but when I try on that new corset... nothing can stop me.

MindiV 01-05-2009 08:18 AM

It's about confidence, totally. I'm one of those women who was SUPER confident when I was bigger. I wanted to do it more than my husband, and he couldn't keep up.

Now, 80 pounds lighter...I never want to. I won't be completely naked in front of him, and rarely get in the mood. Part of that may be a change needed in my birth control (hormones screwed up and all). But I know I'm nowhere NEAR as confident now as I used to be...


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