A Survey About Intimacy
 

Ok, ladies, let's share and be honest. Just for fun. ;)

Here are the questions:

1. How often do you :s:?
2. How often would you LIKE to :s:?
3. Do you think this will stay the same or change with your weight loss, and if so in what way?


My answers:
1. About once a week
2. 3-4 would be nice
3. I tend to feel more frisky when I feel better about my body, so it will get better for me (I hope :D)

Your turn. :corn:

AWeful personal dont you think?

But since I'm single, I DON'T plain and simple :)

1 - not nearly as often as I'd like since my guy lives 5 states away
2 - every day if I could
3 - if we lived closer together, my weight wouldn't make a difference

;)

.

not as often as i would like since DH is disabled
every other day
my weight does not make a difference HIS however does.

funny. this title caught my attention b/c i just, like last night, had a talk to the hubs about intimacy and how we're lacking it. from his answer i gathered he thought by intimacy i meant sex. i broke out the dictionary to show him other meanings (which he knew but somehow these definitions meaning more closeness etc always get pushed to the back of the classroom).

soooo...when i saw this i thought. "wow, someone else is having my thoughts on this subject."

nope.

funny thing is i looked at your progress pics and lo and behold....your a dude.

EDIT: nope! that's your husband! sorry! still funny tho....

I guess I'm not one to shy away from the subject, dunno why.

1. At least every other day
2. Probably a couple of times a day
3. I don't think my weight has any bearing. Good question though, I'm sure a lot of people would/will have a different answer!

When I met hubby I weighed within ten pounds what I weigh now, so I don't think my weight has ever had bearing on anything in our lives really. When my weight goes down though we might be more active outside. We both love doing things like hiking but I have a torn achellis tendon so we (I) have to be careful.

Okay, I'll play... though I agree with Ollie that there is more to intimacy than sex, I also believe that there is more to sex than intercourse.... (Am I going to get bleeped for that statement? Don't know the rules on this type of posting... )

1. How often now? Typically - 5-6 times per week of some kind or another, depending on the week. (last week, 8, this week by comparison, 1 - DH has a bad head cold)
2. How often would I like? Well, I would have to say I'd like to pretty much all the time. I've found most of my girl friends think that is a little odd, it is usually a guy sentiment.
3. Will that change with weight loss? Not really, no. My weight has never been a factor - I was much larger than my starting weight this time around when DH and I got together. I will say though that things have gotten more, ah, enthusiastic, shall we say, as things have gotten more toned and as I've gotten more flexible...

1. very rare----if DH is lucky once every two weeks
2. I would love to be able to do it at least once a day
3. maybe weight will have something to do with it but I doubt it. I dont know what my problem is. Just don't wanna do it, don't know why. Can anyone help me?

I just wanted to add that I absolutely agree that there's a difference between intimacy and just plain sex. I just didn't want to use the word "sex" in the title. :shrug:

1. 2-3 times a week
2. all the time
3. It will boost my confidence more and i'll probably try new positions... id love it one day if my man could do me against the wall... :D

Ah, gotcha Carinna... In thinking about it, I would have probably titled it the same way... :)

It is a good topic, and one that women don't often talk about. In my opinion, if we were more open about the subject within our peer group it would make it easier to be open with our significant others. And, I firmly believe that being open with each other about wants and needs is critical to having a good sex life.

tkglenn, I'll be glad to talk about this topic with you if you want - my first question would be to ask what is stopping you from doing it at least once a day? Does the situation just not come up or do you find yourself disinterested when it does? (If you want, you can PM and we can discuss there.)

1. Usually once a week. Occasionally twice.
2. Every waking moment of the day. My bf and I joke that we should be reversed... I think like a guy in that aspect, he never wants it.
3. We'll see. We were doing it a lot last summer when I was 60 lbs thinner. But we'd just started dating then too. So...? Who knows.

I will say, he does cuddle and show plenty of affection, so the lack of sex isn't a totally, completely, huge deal.

Interesting post. Shannon, your comments were on track IMHO, I agree totally.

Here's the deal: married for 22 years, so naturally things have slacked off. First 10 years, almost every day. Then, 2-3 times/week. Last 4-5 years, less and less, now once a month or less.

I, however, want it much more, at least 3-4 times/week. We've had discussions about this several times.

Losing weight makes me even hornier than ever--lately I feel like I could do it every day! I think about it a lot when i feel good about myself--but always wanted it even before. I'm hoping things improve b/c DH does say I look so much better. Or there always is the little blue pill......

-three or for times a week.
-three or for times a week.
-absolutely positively. My boyfriend is very thin, a little too thin I think sometimes, and he always wants me on top, and I feel like my thighs are a giant sea creature and his little bird legs are being chewed off his body and swallowed whole. Meanwhile, my fat stomach is blobbing onto his torso like throwing a bean bag over top of a pencil.......

maybe when I lose weight I won't demand we turn the lights off......

1. Every day when we are not fighting... lol most of the time, if the fight lasts longer than 3 days, someone gives in just to get busy ;)
2. Every day is good
3. Im with candice, Im looking foward to the day he picks me up to do our thing, and the different crazy stuff that im too heavy for:D
tkglenn, another thing is just doing it. even when you feel tired or whatever, just making yourself do it and feel it. You'd be surprised at how little time it takes to get into it.:devil:

1. At Least once a week. Depending how tired he is.

2. I'd like a couple times a day. I am noticing alot of women would like it once a day and men would have one believe women say no! HA!

3. Yes, Sometimes it take me a minute to get in the mood because I'm feeling down about my weight.

1)actual intercourse, approx 1-3 times per week
2)I'm fine with it that way.
3)I definitely think as I lose I'll be much friskier because I'm sure if DH could answer #2, he'd say every day lol. I have 45 more lbs to lose until I get to the weight I was when we met 10 years ago and I definitely felt more confident with my curvy hourglass figure. I have the jeans I wore on our first date in 1998 and I'm ready to be that gal again!

1. About once a week
2. About two - three times a week
3. I think we'll have more sex after we're actually married, since we live with my parents now and sometimes that makes it difficult

Agreed!!! :s:

1. Once a week or so, maybe...our schedules kinda conflict.
2. At least 2x a week
3. Most definetly. I have a lot of self-esteem issues because of my weight, which hubby thankfully overlooks and doesn't care at all about, but I'd still feel better about it if I wasn't so heavy x_X;; I think I'd be up for trying new things.

1. 4-5 times a week (sometimes more sometimes less -- I don't live with any significant other, it can vary week to week)
2. Every day
3. After I lost weight, my sex life went from nil to overdrive. It had a profound affect on my dating/sex life. I actually was a virgin until I lost the weight -- now I'm making up for lost time. :devil:

wow sucks to me be.

1. once a month or less.
2. weekly at least, a couple times a week would be nice.
3. i think it makes a difference and i hope once we have lost weight it'll increase. exercise seems to make a difference for him at least.

I'm married now for 10 yrs. (In the earlier years it was every day).

We "do it" 4-5 times every other week when DH is home.

I would want it about 3 times every other week. DH would want it every day!

As for my weight affecting it, I want it more often now since losing the weight. Before, I was always too tired.

1. long distance relationship.
2. daily
3. I think I'm headed for the same situation as harpogroucho. I didnt let anyone get intimate with me until I had lost a substainal amount of weight (lots of self loathing I'm trying to move past). It's only going to get better now...

1. Right now probably 4 or so times a week. Would be more, since the relationship is fairly new, but BF is usually tuckered out from work during the week. That'll change after next week though when I go back to Maryland for the semester. :(
2. Oh, that's probably about right. I could go everyday, though... haha.
3. I've for some reason never really had any big issues about my weight that prevented me from doing it, at least as far as feeling confident. I'm sure things will get better though in terms of... variety when I get closer to goal. :P

Here are the questions:

1. How often do you :s:? Um...with a partner?
2. How often would you LIKE to :s:? With a partner, two to three times a week, at least.
3. Do you think this will stay the same or change with your weight loss, and if so in what way? I don't know. I need a man first.

Clearly someone (me) is pissed off because she doesn't have a man. :snooty:
/rant over

But seriously, I've noticed since I've been losing that my drive seems to be "losing" too. I'm not sure where it went? Anyone else having this problem?

:o :rofl:

Nope, never said anything about a parter. ;)

1. I feel weird telling this to anyone, but I and my hubby hardly ever do "it" although we are not without sex either. The "it" part la-la-la-la-la-la just doesn't do la-la-la-la-la-la anything for me, so we've dropped "it" from the menu. We're very touchy feely in other ways though. Hubby doesn't take the lack of "it" too seriously and neither do I. It used to bother me more when I was younger and felt I was a freak of some sort. Now I've gotten over it.

2. Wouldn't mind a bit more of the imaginative variations... ;)

3. I doubt losing weight does anything to this problem.

how often do i? about twice a week
how often would i like to? that is a hard one.. all my life i have been a 1-as many as i could per day type a girl... but since i have gotten soooo big, i dont feel the 'urge' quite as often as i used to ... i would have to say 3-4 would be good.
weight DEFINATELY has something to do with it.. well, at least the effects of weight.. i get tired walking to the corner, and sex is a much bigger workout than that lol...the more i exercise tho, the 'friskier' i feel...:o

1) Well, with this one, its not me, its him. He works long hours and gets tired. When things started slowing down for him, I told him I needed SOMETHING almost every day. So we snuggle, 1-2 times per day and it makes me feel connected to him.
2) Probably every day although my urge has slowed down a bit.
3) I was definitely more motivated when I was heavier. I think it was my hormones out of whack that shifted me into overdrive.

1. long distance relationship (really sucks)

2. every day or every other day would be nice

3. yes, losing weight would make me much more confident in the bedroom... haha.

a) single so never

b) more often than never

d) will let you know if I ever ever get to do b) again!

1. About 3 times a week.

2. That seems about right. We both work long hours and sometimes all that we can do is just cuddle.

3. Hmm, don't know. When we're both feeling fit, we do it more often. If one of us feels fat, then not as often. If we're both feeling fat, then there's a happy medium. He's 175 though, not really fat.

1. Not with anyone, but I take care of business on what seems to be waves. Sometimes it could be more than once a day, sometimes I'll go for days without.
2. I'm fairly satisfied, although I'd like to have a partner and I imagine that would add to my stimulation and interest.
3. I imagine I might feel sexier, but I've been big for so long that it's hard to say.

Ufi--you crack me up! yeah, I imagine a partner might be a bit more interesting and stimulating!!!! :D

1. How often do you ?
2. How often would you LIKE to ?
3. Do you think this will stay the same or change with your weight loss, and if so in what way?


My answers:

1. Not enough and I'll leave it at that...
2. At least 2-3 times/week.
3. I think it will change once I lose more weight, but I have found in the past year or so that due to the BCP I'm on...my sex drive is non-existent :(
I'm going off the BCP mid-October...so I'm hoping that will help :)

1) After 17 years of marriage-ummm, well...let me think when was the last time?...well... at least several months ago....When we first got married my dh told me "you're too interested in sex" I'm thinking-'hey we're newly weds what else are we supposed to do?'

2) I'm ok with the frequency...it's just too much bother to get excited about it.

3) I don't know if my weight is affecting it or not.

How long have you guys have been in your relationships? Espeically those of you doing it everyday.

1. Once a week if lucky
2. Every other day would be nice
3. Yes, I think it probably will.

There are two issues that get in the way of DH and I having sex. First is that we are on opposite schedules. He works night, I work days.

Second, I believe my BCP has put a big damper on my sex drive. I notice that I rarely really want sex but will get him in the bedroom to make sure he's getting satisfied. However, when I'm on my period week I'm WAY more interested in sex. But, during that week we have the icky factor and I'm just not comfortable having sex during my period. :shrug:

I wish there was a birth control that did not jack with one's hormones.

1. Lately.....about 40 times a day......ok, that may be an exaggeration.
2. I'm pregnant....so it changes on the daily. Sometimes I want it all the time, others.....he could fall off the face of the planet and I wouldn't be concerned.
3. I'm a beach ball right now and it doesn't affect anything. I don't think it will affect much after I lose weight either...maybe in my mind, but probably not his.

Sarah, we've been married for 5 years come December.