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I would say you're neither a slut nor a chubby girl. :snooty: You're a beautiful chick who's trying to do right for yourself and for those around you. :hug:

It may be hard, but I think the best thing to do would be to stay friends with this guy and don't let his relationship consume you like this. Be confident with who you are! It sounds like he likes you fairly well for who you are. It's probably impossible to say if he views your friendship as platonic or potentially more than that, but since you know he's in a relationship, try your best to let things be platonic. (You don't want to make girlfriend angry, and you don't want to come off as too strong or desperate.)

If he really does like you as more than a friend, it's up to him to decide what to do. If you get *clear* signals from him that he's interested in something romantic, then it's time to talk about it with him. If your friendship continues without becoming romantic, then you should feel happy to have such a nice guy as a good friend, and congratulate yourself for handling the situation appropriately. And also understand that if he isn't interested in romance, it would never work out between you anyway.

But more than anything, be proud of who you are, and know that even if you don't have this guy as a love interest, it won't ruin your life. There are so many other good things in life besides this one guy. ;) You are smart, beautiful, kind, and you deserve to be happy no matter what! :spin:

Quote:

Originally Posted by vikkivma (Post 2304351)

Does this make me a slut, or am I just a chubby girl hoping too hard that a guy would actually leave a skinny girl for me?

None of the above. It sounds to me like he likes the attention he gets from you, and he keeps flirting so he can get more of it. Whether or not he intends for it to go anywhere is another question entirely (and I'd say if he has a girlfriend and he hasn't dumped her, the answer is probably not, unfortunately). That doesn't mean your ego is massive or you're doing anything wrong, it just means he's sending out confusing signals. Guys have an annoying way of doing that (sometimes due to *their* giant egos).

Don't say slut :( Especially for something as innocent as hoping a guy likes you! It's amazing the ways we women find to put ourselves and others down.

I'd say that if he has a girlfriend, secretly dating or not, don't get too attached. You don't want to be the girl who goes in and tries to break up couples. If they're not meant to be, they'll end of their own accord...

In the meantime, just keep discovering your own fabulous self! Your confidence and secureness in not *needing* a guy (not the insecurity of never letting them get close, ever) is what will attract them in the end. Whether you like it or not :P

And let me say that I have had MUCH more male attention at my HIGHEST weight (76 kgs or about 168 lb I think) than at my lowest (128 lb) !!! If you feel sexy and confident about yourself, it shows.

Hmm... would you want a boyfriend who shrugs you off in public, the way he does with the girlfriend? What is that about?

No need to get serious about any of it. Have some fun, but don't try reading any meaning into it and don't do anything foolish. Things you think are secret signals may be nothing at all, or not what you think. Guys are not usually looking for the love of their life when they flirt while drunk--most likely they're looking for something else...

Jay

Quote:

Originally Posted by vikkivma (Post 2304519)

Also, what I didn't say was that this girl waited until he was drunk and then shoved her hands down his pants in front of all of us for about two hours, despite the fact that he repeatedly would get up and move to different parts of the table.

Good grief and pass the Lysol.

I've been in a situation like this, where the guy flirted with me and the thin girl hung all over him, "got" him, (and I didn't), then he went back to his old girlfriend. He knew I was interested, and I think it was an ego stroke for him that anyone was interested. I think he liked to flirt with me because I was "safe."

I've had men I'm only friends with act like we're in a relationship (attention, not kissing) because it takes the dating pressure off of them that other women might put on them, for various reasons. I've done that with male friends, too.

Have to say that I'm not too impressed with a guy who would leave you in doubt as to how he felt about you. Has he ever asked you out on a date, just the two of you? What happens when you back away from him, don't have enough time to talk, focus on other people, that sort of thing? Does he pursue you?

Deleting personal rants.