continueing drama of my life
 

What next? Okay so some of you know that my husband just returned home from drug/alcohol rehab. His problems are bad enough, but now....we went to visit family in ...well we went to our hometown to see the people he and I haven't seen for a year, his mom, grandma, and sister. His sister has three kids and a drug problem of her own. The father of the two oldest kids fades in and out of their lives, battling his own demons and the father of the baby left once he found out she was pregnant. These kids were hungry, dirty and riddled with Lice! Even the seven month old baby! I brought them all up here to my house and am supposed to take them back on Monday. Now how can I in good conscience return these children to the house to be dirty and hungry and lice infested again! But I have to work and worry about my husband and he doesn't have a job yet! I love these kids but I'm afraid to do anything and I'm afraid of doing nothing! Jessie's head is so thick with lice and scabs from scratching that she cries and scream with pain when I apply the lice meds. I cut almost all her hair off because it was matted and thick with dead skin and lice, now I wonder if I should just shave her head, which she doesn't want, she's afraid the girls in school in a couple weeks will make fun of her now.

their mother practically fell over herself with joy when I said I'd take them for a few days, she insisted I take the baby, which because of my working I didn't want to do (Luckily my daughter stepped up and said she'll keep the baby while I'm working) but aparently Jessie (10 years old) is the one who takes care of the baby 24/7 Josh the 12 year old practically disassociates himself from the whole situation playing video games all the time (Why is it that people who can't afford food for the family always have video game systems?)

What am I going to do? I am all in knots about it and spend all my free time combing live and dead lice out of Jessies hair. I hate being in this situation, yes their mom always was a party girl but she kept things going somehow until the last couple years, I can't go on this post is too long, thanks for listeninmg

Pixiesue -

:hug: to you in this rough situation.

My perspective - if you cannot care for the children yourself (and you've got a LOT on your plate right now!), you need to call Child Protective Services. Yes, it is hard to do that to a family member. But imagine what those children will be returning to if you do not. In the long run, better for them to be properly taken care of, even if it isn't by you or their mother, than to be neglected and abused.

You can make the report anonymously, if you feel the need to. But please don't pretend the situation doesn't exist and just return the children to an abusive (yes, neglect is abusive) home.

Sending all the good thoughts I have to you and your family during this rough patch.

thanks, I know thats what to do, I have to get up the courage

Amanda is right. Gather your courage and make the call. They are required to investigate if you do.

My prayers are with you! Keep us posted on how you (and they) are doing.

I second, and third this motion! Dr Phil's website has info that could help. Sorry I didn't get the link.

Thanks for that! I'll try to look it up!

Pixiesue, lots of :hug:. I agree with what Amanda (mandalinn) offered. I can only imagine how difficult it is - but know that you are acting in the children's best interests. They are so fortunate to have you in their lives, someone who cares about them and is capable of helping them.

You and your nieces/nephews and family will be in my thoughts and prayers. I wish you all the best in this difficult situation :hug:

thanks

I called Child Protective about 14 years ago, on my sister, for neglecting her son. It was a very difficult decision -- but you have to remember -- his sister is chosing to live this way, her kids don't have the option. They need you to look out for them. Once child protective gets involved, it will probably bring the teachers at school in as well -- which can be a great help to the 10 year old as well to have someone else in her corner.

Praying for you during this hard time!

You need to intervene, you know the children are being neglected and that is a situation that cannot be allowed to continue. I had a similar dilemma a couple of years ago when my niece was not being looked after properly by her mother who had been divorced from her father (my brother). She had sores from impetigo which had been infected and infested with headlice - a caring parent would never let their child get in such a way. My brother was reluctant to intervene as they had been through a messy divorce and thought he would just be seen as being vindictive. I was about to make the call to Social Services when events came to a head themselves as my niece was rushed to hospital one day when she collapsed in the street. She was diagnosed with leukemia and was in hospital for some time and eventually returned to the care of her mother. Her mother would still not receive any awards for mother of the year but with a close eye being kept on my niece by both health and social care professionals they get by.

Make the call, you know its the only proper thing you can do.


Kitty

Yes I am. The kids want to stay here with us. I told them I couldn't gaurantee that they would be with us right away, That I didn't know if CS would want to put them in foster for awhile while they investigate but they said anywhere but home with mom and her "boyfriend"

Pitiful. I can't imagine ,as a child, wanting to live anywhere but with my Mom and dad (with occasional visits to grandma and grandpa ,of course for a good dose of "spoiling"!

Just wanted to add that in a situation like that, you have no idea what the "boyfriend" is doing with the kids... In case you're wavering at all...

Jay

I'm so sorry to hear about this!! I know from a similar situation how hard it can be to allow the kids to go back home. If you are truly worried, I would contact Child and Family services and explain the situation. The point is not to cause her trouble... but to HELP her. They can provide some wonderful support when she needs it.

There is ONE thing I can help with though:

Here's a VERY kid friendly lice remedy! Worked like a CHARM with my kids.

You'll probably need a good size of mayo (get the store brand.. cheap), vinegar and tea tree oil.

Get a HUGE mixing bowl, put in a big glop of mayo (2 cups) and add a bit of vinegar until it looks like thick cake batter. Add a few drops of tea tree oil and mix well.

Apply to each of the children's heads (very thickly, from root to tip - make sure every hair on each of their heads are saturated). Then place a shower cap on their heads - squeeze out any excess air, and use clips to keep it in place. Let them play for the day like this. (keep it on no less than 5 hours).

Then rinse their hair out well. Use the nit comb (you'll see all the dead lice and the nits will easily SLIDE off their hair!!!!). Then wash their hair normally with shampoo and conditioner.

Make sure that you have mom put some tea tree oil in the kids shampoo and conditioner at home... this will keep the lice away.

This is gonna be long so bear with me, I've been in a very close situation.
10 years ago my brother and his wife had a bad addiction to drugs, alcohol, and beating the **** outta each other. They didn't hurt the kids as much as each other but they wouldn't take care of them. We would make surprise visits to c them and the youngest who was 3 at the time would still b in his baby bed screaming so long his little face would b swollen. His sister who was 8 was trying her hardest to get him out to change him cause his diaper hadn't been changed since the nite before and the smell would nearly make u pass out. His mom would b passed out on the couch with her random pill assortment, his dad...who the **** knows, prolly out drinking again. This went on as long as my parents could stand, they didn't wanna call CS on their son or his wife but they knew they had to do something. They finally made the call and over the next 2 years the kids stayed with us 3 different times. We took very good care of them, I was like a little momma @ 15 years old, my mom has lupus and was in bed alot and my dad worked 12 hour shifts so it was up to me and my other brother who was 17 to take care of them, which was fine for us, we grew up faster and children of my own is easier lol. The mother and the father finally divorced and he went to another state to rehab to avoid prison time for DUI's, she gave her pill popping mom custody (CS in Alabama sucks) of the kids and we've had limited time with them up until about 3 years ago. This past year their dad, after getting cleaned up for the past 3 years, has moved in with my parents to get back on his feet, he's doing great, wish i could say the same for the mom. The kids have turned out pretty good, the oldest has moved out away from her mom and the drugs and is putting herself through college and the youngest has decided to move in with his dad at my parents to get away from his mom, she recently had a meth splurge and practically kicked her 13 year old son out! He's safe and sound for now til all the arrangements r made for him to move out. Both the kids and my brother have said if it weren't for my parents stepping in that things never would have changed and the kids would have gotten hurt or worse. I know loooong story but I just wanted u to know u're not alone, its a very hard decision, but u have to make the right choice for those kids. God forbid something happen, but what if she were to get strung out and hurt those kids or that precious baby? If you happen to get the kids then you know you can always vent to us. If i lived close enough I'd even babysit for free! Just do the right thing, I can't understand parents like that, I was crying by the time I finished reading u're 1st post. Hope all goes well for you, you are in my thoughts and prayers!:hug::hug::hug:

Poor Babies. Raising kids is hard work.... Give the parents as much compassion as you can but give the kids more.

Some treatments do not work, use lots and lots of olive oil. It also sooths and moisturizes the skin.

God Bless.

Kids very often want to go back home, even when it's bad. It's scary that they don't want to go home.

Also, get the kids some Denorex Extra Strength Shampoo for AFTER the open wounds heal. It repels the lice(as soon as you smell it you'll understand). Get some for yourself and others at home now. Also some Lysol for all your surfaces and vacuum chairs, beds and other surfaces at least every other day.

Best Wishes with your situation.:hug::hug::hug:

I agree.