Really? I thought the bridal party often received a gift at the rehearsal dinner but I was told the bridal party was basically an excuse for the bride to get presents. Often lingerie, etc. Again, since I didn't have one I'm a bit in the dark as to what I should or shouldn't do/give. I'm glad I'm not the only one to prefer shopping off the registry! I realize they need things on the registry but they all seem so impersonal!

Heck, I'm not sure anymore. My mom was a southern lady moved to WY. I thought the the bridal party bought their clothes under the Bride's direction, but only had to provide one wedding gift and received a gift from the bride. And that the shower attendees had already provided their gifts at the shower. And most importantly, that whatever was given was enough and no one should go into debt to feed another's ego. Ofcourse, I don't get spending $20-40,000 on any wedding.

Now I see why when I came back after eloping, my mom handed me a check for $2000 and her big fat thank you.

I wouldn't go. She didn't go to yours for a silly reason. You have actual reasons and a lot on your plate to deal with. Sell the dress on ebay and tell her to make her own cake.