Taken advantage of
 

Strictly speaking this isn't directly about my weight but it's something which is really bugging me right now and I fear it WILL start to urge my binges.

Recently I got a fund of a few thousand pounds that my mum has solely paid into since i was a child which I was given to use for any purpose. The thing is, I seldomly have any money for myself..I rarely buy a thing and quite often go in need of new clothes, shoes etc. My brother who has a steady income and a well paying job is totally naive with money. He spends it on rubbish and then loans it from other people and generally expects the world to drop everything for him, and when it doesn't 'everything is his fault and life isnt fair'.

He has never supported me, I have some severe mental and health issues which he doesn't support me in and in fact I've heard him say behind my back that 'I do it for attention' and I really dont feel he knows how difficult it really is to live with.

Since receiving this fund I have bought ONE thing with it. And already I have lent him hundreds of pounds. And he just keeps asking, he tells me I'm selfish if i say 'no' and the money is 'lying round doing nothing' and he makes me feel really selfish to keep this money for myself. But the money is MINE, he had his own fund, and he has a better paying job, and I really feel like he's taking advantage of me. Am I wrong for feeling this way? I just have to get this out of my system hopeing by doing so I might not turn to food for comfort.

u are totally right, hes being a total ***.

tell him to get stuffed this bank is closed... or tell him youve invested it so no one can touch it

hes being a fool x

I agree. You owe him nothing, and he's never going to pay you back. Say No. What's the worst that can happen? He'll never speak to you again? Well, things could be worse...

He's a manipulator, and he isn't going to change. Other people exist for his convenience, and he will never turn around and help you. Is that really someone you want to give your money to?

I'd get it as far away from him as possible--open a brand new account in a different bank and never tell him where. Keep the account information under lock and key. If he's not already a thief, he could easily become one.

By the way, I'm moving this over to general chatter. :) It seems a better fit there.

Jay

He could be a twin to my sister. She has no need for us unless she is begging for money.

If he cannot support you emotionally, why should you support him financially?

This is your money -- he apparently got his own -- too bad if he's done with it already -- did he offer any of his to you? I doubt it.

Your mother did not put money away for you to give to him -- let him know it would not be honoring your mother's wishes if you gave it to him and out of respect for her -- the bank is closed!!!

Thank you guys, I honestly just needed an opinion on this because I'm torn between anger at him and selfishness! But he has money and he doesn't need mine. Thanks so much :hug:

Also Jay thanks, I wasn't too sure where to post so i just figured to post it under support. thanks for helping :)

Invest the money in a 12 month CD. You will not be able to touch it and you will be making money. Even if you don't do this, tell your brother that you did. If the money isn't there for you to give him, you can't 'give in'. The bank of Spoz is closed for the forseeable future. :yes: :yes: :yes:

He's a user, plain and simple. And regardless of what he says about your using your health issues as a way to get attention, it's apparent to me that HE is the one who is screaming for attention.

Do not give him another cent. He will take all your money and not repay it. Be strong and say NO!!

I agree with the others. Learn to say no. Practice telling him no in front of a mirror if need be. Good luck!

Stand up to him and tell him absolutely NOT...he can't have ANY more money.

My husband's sister is horrible in that same way. She's got a 2 year old boy and is step-mom to a 14 year old kid. She works full time and her husband sits at home. He could work...but won't. He doesn't even watch the baby...they pay a sitter. Anyway, their vehicle has horrible tires and can't be driven out of town, they can't pay bills and they're on welfare to afford food.

But they have a $700 32" flat screen HDTV, she goes tanning and they eat out four or five nights a week. But then borrow OUR vehicles for their out of town trips, etc.

Oh and if he says your selfish just say yes I AM.
It's my money for myself!!!

He's right you are selfish AS YOU SHOULD BE. You have to take care of yourself. You need this money even if it's just your cushion for your mental health or if you want to buy something for yourself.

So the message here is self self self. Only you can take care of that. You have a right to be selfish with your money it's yours not his.

Don't give him anymore he's already gotten enough.

If this doesn't work just tell him it's gone. You don't have to tell him what you did with it.
Ok you can tell him you donated it to your favorite charity the SPOZ charity.

Taking care of yourself is NOT selfish. It is necessary. If you let him have everything to waste, then you'll wind up becoming a burden to someone else. It sure doesn't sound like he'll be around when the funds dry up. They WILL dry up if you keep giving in.

My mom was a kind and giving person, but she also lived in the real world. I told her once if she had two apples and the person next to her didn't have any and she knew it but kept them then that was selfish. If she didn't even notice the other person and kept them then that was selfcentered. She said she would give one to her child to feed her and eat the other to keep herself strong so she could continue taking care of her. That is called being a Mom.

Do not give him ANY more money, and don't discuss it with him any further.

He's used to spending money like water. Next time he asks say, "Sorry--- I bought myself new clothes and shoes" As far as he's concerned, it's gone.

And you're free to do what you want. I wouldn't lend him a penny. You said he makes good money and is horrible with how he spends it. Don't let him take advantage of your good naturedness and wise spending policy.

Tell him you spent it all. That's something he CERTAINLY understands well.

I like the idea of the other person--- put that money into a CD and you can't touch it... and neither can he. Or, just tell him it's gone--- spent... GONE BABY GONE.

Actually, you don't owe him an explanation...just "no" will do. Sounds like he doesn't hear that word too often from anyone. You can teach him what the word means. LOL

Tell him "NO" and that you may not be using it now, but you will be using it later.