It may be hard for you to change how you handle these matters, especially if your Mom has always told you what to buy and you've complied. It's not going to be easy to say "No" or stand up to your own parent, since your knee-jerk reaction will probably be to follow old patterns.

If your Mom is that controlling, then she may be very resistant and resentful of your emerging independance.

If you told her something like, "I don't have the money for that right now" or "I'm trying to stay on a budget so I can't afford that" would she respect that?

I'm sorry you don't have a good relationship with your Mom. :hug:

I have an inkling that she will not be happy with you asserting yourself, but stand your ground and hold on! You are an adult now, and you are perfectly capable of making your own decisions about what to spend your money on.

Unfortunately, your mother may need to be respectfully told that if she gets too pushy about things.

Does she have access to your bank account ? Is this a joint account with her ? Does she have your PIN ? If this is the case. go to the bank open an account in your name only. Do not give her your PIN. DO NOT tell her you have a new account.

She doesn't have access to my account. I will try standing up to her.

You have to move out. Don't tell her how much money you have. It will be hard but you will feel better once its done. I just had to say "I found an apartment" and I moved out the next month.

Also there is a book called "boundaries" , by townsend and cloud. It is a Christian book but I think everyone needs to read it. You and her don't have appropriate boundaries so you will keep having these kind of conversations until someone draws some.

Good Luck

Its hard to say no.

Set up a practice budget , and pay yourself the rent , utilities etc in a savings account until you move out. You can get the furniture and other stuff later.

Oh boy, well first off I think you've gotten some great advice. I'm 24 myself, and have a mom that is a bit of a control freak too. I'm married though already but even when I got married my mom had a very difficult time letting go due to that she does love me but also she just has control issues and even would just "pop" over at my apartment and actually let herself in with the EMERGENCY key I had given her and tell me that I needed to clean up my apartment, wake me and my husband up on the few late morning weekends we had together that first year- needless to say after that lease was up she hasn't gotten another "emergency" key ever again. Anyhoo..

My best advice to you is remain CALM because often a control freak will FREAK out and argue/yell at you when they realize that you are no longer going along with whatever they say or tell you to do. Don't yell back in return and I know you live there so the best thing also to do might be also to suck it up and sit there and listen to her yell at you if that happens since you don't want to be kicked out before you're ready financially. This happened with me and my mom and after she was done yelling at me I just looked at her calmly and asked if she was done and went about my business. Good luck!