I'd like to have a relationship
 

I am 24 and have never had a boyfriend. I've never even been kissed. I'm hoping to lose weight before searching for a man. How does one go about looking for a man? Thanks for all replies in advance.

I met my husband online.

I'ts not always easy to meet people, I think just getting out and doing things you enjoy so you meet people who are interested in the same things. Also meeting guys through friends and aquaintences. My DH was a friend of my sister, so that's how I met him. And don't wait till you lose just start enjoying yourself and keep yourself open to new relationships, it may happen when you least expect it.

I was 23 when I first got kissed and landed a boyfriend. I knew both of them from middle and high school (I didn't really date the first guy I kissed). I've met most of the guys I've dated online. I'm VERY picky and very good at weeding out creeps and losers. The best luck (quality-wise) I had was on Yahoo personals. I met many good-looking successful (a doctor and a lawyer were two of them) on there. I unfortunately wasn't ready to date yet (after a painful breakup), and even though they all were interested in me, I didn't go on second dates with any of them. Even though I'm dating a new guy now, I'm going to go back to Yahoo personals because he's a cool guy, but he just doesn't do it for me. There's also a free site, called plentyoffish.com and then there's craigslist, but most of the guys on there are huge losers, married, or just looking for sex.

I only went out with 3 guys I didn't meet online, and I knew two of them from high school, and the third I met in a creative writing class I took after I was finished with school. You can also join a book club or take an art class or something at your local arts center (I plan on doing this myself). It's hard for me to meet people because I don't have any coworkers, so I can't meet anyone at work. I even think about getting a part time job just so I can make some friends.

And the great thing about being a late bloomer is that we get to make up for lost time! :devil:

I met my husband online through a dating website. He was my first boyfriend and first kiss (at age 26). I don't regret waiting at all!

I was set up with my husband through a mutual friend at work. I've also met guys at bars :dizzy:, at the grocery store, taking a walk and at the state fair :)

A little bit of advice -- don't "look" for a boyfriend -- go out, have fun, do things you love -- don't make a job out of it. When you meet the right guy, you'll know -- if you are searching too hard, you may meet too many "waste of time" guys because you are too serious about it. The best guys I dated I met by accident, the worst I chased after!!

Good luck and have fun!!! :D

My hubby was my boss. I didn't keep the job but won the guy! I agree with Shelby, my best guys have been accidents as well.

I met my DH when I quit looking LOL!
I figured I was just destined to either attract losers, weirdos or stalker types. I said enough and about 6 months later I met DH at grad school.

I would start joining groups of interest to you. Whether that is volunteering, bird watching, garden clubs, poker nights. Whatever you like. Then you will bump into people who have the same interests as you.

Shelby is exactly right! Don't look! I know its hard especially when it seems everyone around you is so happy and cuddly and you just want it yourself sooo bad. My dad got terminally sick this past year and I had met a guy through a co-worker (girls night out and she sprung her roommates on us) and during the period I was all "Oh I want him" it didn't work. Three months later as soon as I spent a month in the ICU waiting room solely focusing on my family and myself he really stepped up, took notice, made the effort and I knew he was a good one. If you focus on the best possible version of you, not only are you giving yourself a great gift you are more likely to find an equally motivated and sensational partner. In my case, whenever I was prowling for a guy, I always hummed "You Just Haven't Earned It Yet, Baby" and even though I always felt that I had put in more than enough time being lonely (5 years), I should just keep working on ME and the HE would follow.

I met my husband online...we were both on AOL at the time, and one day he just IMed me out of the blue! The first thing he ever said to me was "Pardon me, ma'am, but do you want to elope?" :) I of course thought he was just being a jerk, so I said something flippant back, but he kept emailing me. That was back in 2002.

You can meet guys through your friends, through work, by just going places and doing things...before I met my husband, I'd never been kissed either. In fact, I've never actually been "asked out" in my life. My first boyfriend (at age 19) was (in hindsight) sortof a butt who actually played "dumb" until I asked HIM out...silly boy. And my husband never asked me out....we just started talking online and it just turned into something.

In my opinion, those are the best kinds of relationships...when you just start talking and it blossoms on its own. You'll find the one who's right for you! Just keep working toward your goals, keep a positive outlook, and find ways to enjoy being you....those are the things that make people want to be around you. :) Good luck and have fun!!

(p.s. I don't personally recommend meeting guys online the way I did...I was a dum-dum and made some stupid decisions about where to meet him in person the first time, and thankfully/luckily it worked out good for me...but if he had been a different type of guy, I could have been in real trouble. So if you do decide to meet guys online, always take everything with a grain of salt, and when you meet in person the first time, do it in a public place, say a coffeeshop or something...always be safe with any sort of online relationships!)

I met my husband at a bar. Horrible but true. Turns out that we both missed each other on eharmony. I joined when he quit. He had a printed out copy of his profile questions and we compared them to mine online and they almost perfectly matched.

Now, as for you. You are young. Go out, have fun. Walk the dog in the park, go out with friends, sporting events, go to church and DONT WORRY ABOUT IT. I truly believe that wanting something so bad, whatever it is, puts out the desperate vibe and somehow people pick up on that. Work on yourself, have fun, and it will come. I was single for a very very long time and got married just this last year at 34. And let me tell you, I went through it with jerks, losers, and buttheads. But I never settled and neither should you. Have fun, and dont worry. Easy to say, hard to do, I know! Good luck and keep us updated.

2 things:
Don't stress about it! I didn't get kissed or have a bf until I was in college.

and the other thing?
DON'T SETTLE FOR JUST ANYONE!!!!!!!

You are a priceless treasure, and don't settle for some schuck just because he buys you stuff and is cute. Don't be pressured to be more "intimate" than you are ready for.
And for heaven's sake, if you do decide to meet someone online, go with a girlfriend or two the first time you meet him (and meet him in a public place!!!!)
Sorry. I am paranoid about creepy guys. You seem very sweet, and I wish you the best!

I agree with everyone else. I met my husband on a tipple date (we were with separate people). We happened to run into each other alittle while later and we clicked. Keep your eyes open and let fate do it's job.

I met my boyfriend online. We were friends for about 4 years just chatting here and there before we ever met in person. If you had told me two years ago that I would fall in love with him I would have laughed. You just never know what is around the next corner.

I'd like to thank you all for your replies. I joined Yahoo Personals and will join a book club or some other type of club next year.

Since you don't have any experience dating I would HIGHLY recommend the book "The Rules"....I know they seem a little old fashioned and it's a 90's book, but they REALLY work....It's a great set of ways to act so that guys respect you and you don't act desperate (and hence get more guys). It also is a surefire way to weed out the loosers because loosers aren't willing to put time and effort into pursuing you.

I also was a little late onto the dating scene, got my first kiss at 19.

I met my hubby in the 8th grade. We dated once in the 9th grade, stayed friends and then go back together our senior year. I think marrying someone who is your friend first is a good thing.

Dh was my first for mostly everything.

Why wait? Do it now, life is too short to wait and put things off. You may not meet the man of your dreams but you're sure to make friends and that is never a bad thing so as the Nike advert use to say, Just do it!

I'm kinda in the same boat. I'm 29, and have very little experience. I'm not sure what to do anymore. I joined a online dating site, and have gotten a few emails, but when I do, I clam up and don't continue anything about it. I want a relationship badly. It's not easy being the oldest of 3 and having my younger siblings married and be married this summer. I almost feel like a complete outsider to the family bc I am one of the oldest and the only one alone. I don't know if I feel like if I don't like the way I look, how can I expect anyone else to, or what the problem is. I like attn from men...I've talked with some great guys from online forums and fall for them, but they live way to far away....

BornToFly, I can relate to what you're saying. You and I are the same age and I think the older you get without having been in a serious relationship the harder it is not to appear too desperate. I'm one of those women that's always done exactly what I've wanted when I wanted, but relationships continued to elude me. I would try looking for relationships then try not looking both equaling the same kinds of results more or less. And I personally hate and resent it when women are considered desperate or "thirsty" for a man simply because they want a relationship and are very cleare about what they want.

I've been dating a really interesting guy for almost a month now and I'm trying not to get too anxious and just relax into it but it is hard, especially considering the fact that I've been single for so long. I have a lot of other things going on in my life, but being in a relationship is something that has been missing and that's the one thing I haven't had that I want, so I've focused a lot of mental energy on it.

I don't know, overall I think you just have to try a bunch of different things and figure out what works for you. For every woman that's every followed something like "The Rules" there's a woman who did the exact opposite to meet the person they are with now. The best thing is to just be open to any situation.

I'm not a big fan of "The Rules", but everyone is different. My suggestions are to just be yourself, don't play head games, and be kind, considerate and open-minded. I hope you find a nice man who can appreciate you! Good luck!

Originally Posted by lola06:
BornToFly, I can relate to what you're saying. You and I are the same age and I think the older you get without having been in a serious relationship the harder it is not to appear too desperate. I'm one of those women that's always done exactly what I've wanted when I wanted, but relationships continued to elude me. I would try looking for relationships then try not looking both equaling the same kinds of results more or less. And I personally hate and resent it when women are considered desperate or "thirsty" for a man simply because they want a relationship and are very cleare about what they want.

I've been dating a really interesting guy for almost a month now and I'm trying not to get too anxious and just relax into it but it is hard, especially considering the fact that I've been single for so long. I have a lot of other things going on in my life, but being in a relationship is something that has been missing and that's the one thing I haven't had that I want, so I've focused a lot of mental energy on it.

I don't know, overall I think you just have to try a bunch of different things and figure out what works for you. For every woman that's every followed something like "The Rules" there's a woman who did the exact opposite to meet the person they are with now. The best thing is to just be open to any situation.

I totally hear what your saying. I hope I don't appear desperate. I don't think I do, but I do think it's one thing I really am missing. I want to share my life with someone. I just don't know why when it seems like it might come along I shy away from it. Just doesn't make any sense at all! I want to meet guys, and have been asked, but I clam up. I don't know if I'm scared they will realize I am not very experienced and run away, and I"ll be left with a broken heart...

I met one boyfriend online and dated a couple others from the same site (rsvp.com) - I have also tried speed dating which was awesome fun lol. I didn't see any of the guys I met there again but that was more for reasons to do with my current BF.

My current guy I actually met while out clubbing - and very very drunk...on my birthday...while escaping another guy who I knew from Uni and was creepy. All I remembered in the morning was that he was very tall and had blue eyes lol (my BF not the creep :P)

It definitely happens when you least expect it. When I met Paul I didn't want a boyfriend AT ALL as I'd just had a nasty break up barely a month earlier.