I didn't have Christianity, and I was a virgin until I was out of college. I was almost 22 the first time I had intercourse, and he's now my fiance and the only man I've ever had intercourse with. Religion is great for some people, but saying it is a necessity for everyone is blatantly false.

I was so pleased that we were able to have a mature and somewhat open-minded discussion about sex ed without bringing religion too much into it.

That's all I have to say about that :angel: Moving on...

Abstinence can be included without even using the word--just by including it in the discussion: Here's how your body works, here's how their bodies work, here's how they work together, here's what can happen when they work together, and here's how to try to prevent the bad things from happening when they work together, but not having them work together is the only 100% way to ensure the bad things don't happen.

If only it were that simple, right? :dizzy:

I guess I don't understand how you can have a talk about the birds and the bees and how to try to protect yourself if you're going to be sexually active without mentioning that not being sexually active is the only way to ensure "safety." That doesn't mean saying anyone is wrong for having consentual sex or that you're guaranteed to have something bad happen to you even if you do use protection, because those are false as well.

100% agree to all of that.

Proper understanding of how we work, biologically, is so important. I'm still shocked that there are women my age who don't understand how their own cycles work ... or there are men my age who don't know the various parts of their OWN anatomy.

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heh heh, EZ, how did you know I was lurking on this thread?

Kids need facts. I see a lot of pregnant teenagers and I see a lot of teenagers who are being proactive and seeking reliable methods of contraception. I have also had the honor of teaching sex ed to 8th graders. Information is a good thing.

When I designed my sex ed curriculum for 8th graders, I included basic reproductive anatomy, an overview of contraception (pros, cons, effectiveness), and an overview of sexually transmitted infections. I gave them a pretest and a posttest and every single one of them left the class knowing about safer sex, common stds, and birth control options. It was really great, actually. Many of them asked fantastic questions.

I make a lot of phone calls each week telling teenagers that they have chlamydia or HPV changes on their paps. Not all teenagers are choosing to have sex, but all teenagers need to know about their bodies and risk reduction.

I'll never forget the 13 year old in labor who wondered if it would hurt a lot when her baby came out through her belly button. Yikes----name a person in that kid's life who had NOT failed her if that is where she thinks babies are birthed from.

If you give kids facts in an open and honest way, that will influence the choices they make. Knowledge is never a bad thing in this regard. They want to know if the myths they have heard are true or not.

I have had a fairly steady stream of teenagers through my door lately (who have not ever been pregnant) who want IUDs. They are well-read on IUDs and after I counsel them, they want them. It is refreshing to see young women taking control of their fertility in such a manner.

I also have some teenage moms in my practice who make me burst with pride---who do graduate high school, who go to college. Yes they are the success stories but they are out there. The teenagers I know and work with are doing ok. It is hard, I know, but I am proud of them.

Here is what I think....

I learned "sex ed" like some 2 times in school.....5th grade we had "health" class. Separated from the boys and we learned the "real" names of our body parts, and about puberty and such. Then in 9th grade (far to late for some of my classmates, unfortunately) we learned about SEX..OMG. I knew more than what they tried to teach us by 6th grade. They basically told us more about how the womens cycle works, and that we CAN and MAY get pregnant if we had sex. Not much about STD's but a little.

I have talked to my children, and we talk abstinence PLUS safe sex. I think if ANYONE is going to be talking to children/young people about sex ed, it shoudl definitely include BOTH!

Is it bad that while reading this thread, the coach's line from the movie "Mean Girls" kept going through my head? "If you have sex, you will get Chlamydia and die!"

I guess I'm one of the few who actually had a good sex ed experience in the public school system. I hear about how horrible the sex ed classes are taught and am just amazed. We had great sex ed classes. I think it helped that a lot of the girls in my class were very outgoing and not shy about asking tough questions of the teachers. We were taught about all the different kinds of birth control, their success/failure rates, and that abstinence was really the only way to not get pregnant or an STD. (No religion at all.)

We had some version of this class from 4th grade all the way to graduation. In 4th & 5th grade we were separated from the boys and were shown a film about getting our period. I am sooo grateful the started us early because I got mine when I was 10 years old, a week before 5th grade started. I can't imagine what I would have thought if I hadn't been prepared. (Funny, my lasting impression of that film was when the Mom was showing her daughter how to use a pad, I thought, "Wow, her underwear is really clean!" :lol:)

We also had an optional after school class held once a week for a month that we attended with a parent where all of these topics were discussed. I think that really helped break the ice between the kids and parents.

Even with all that education, we still had several girls get pregnant in high school. We had about 50 girls in our class and I can think of at least 8 off hand that got pregnant before graduation. This is going to sound bad...but about 50% of these girls were Hispanic. I'm not trying to say anything bad here...I know that most of these girls were from traditional families where they got married early and started families. Some girls weren't pregnant, but dropped out to get married. I'm not knocking it. We're all different and have different values. For them their values focused more on having a family than getting an education. (And no, this wasn't 50 years ago, this was in 1997.)

Where I'm going with this is that I think that the schools can teach sex ed all they want, and do a really good job at it, but it all boils down to family values and what parents teach their kids.