Here was Angie's chore list ~

Gary ~ cook once/twice a week and do dishes every night

Son ~ share clearing off dinner table with sister ~ clean kitchen floor, stove and counters every other Saturday...on other Saturday, hall bath

Daughter ~ same as above

Step-daughter ~ dusting every week

Family Laundry ~ dad does own drywall clothes ~ kids do their own period! We each had our day!

Angie did our bathroom and we shared the vacumning.

EDIT ~ Everyone in the house had to keep their bedrooms decent...according to my expectations...everyone in the house could have 1 spot....where they could pile their stuff...kids in their rooms...me by my recliner...Angie by her couch...every week-end it had to be cleaned...mail, bills, homework, etc.

You guys...thank you so much for your honest opinions and listening to me whine. You are all such good friends.

I have an appointment today for my daughter for an evaluation in regards to anxiety and panic attacks. I was reading up on the attacks and thought, jeez! I was having one of those when I wrote this post! She gets it from me and I really want to help her. I'm hoping they suggest a non-medicated solution, such as a therapist that can help her deal with the feelings she has. She said she's been having these feelings since first grade (!) but that they've gotten worse in the last year or so.

In regards to my house. Clutter and picking up toys isn't so much the problem as much as the big things. This is what happens to me: I start to do dishes, then move towards wiping down the counter, then end up moving things to really clean the counter, then notice the curtains are disgusting and need to be cleaned, then I realize the kitchen REALLY needs a good painting, then I realize I never finished making my curtains for the other side of the kitchen and THEY are REALLY disgusting and need to be washed, then I go to the back porch (where my dog sits to 'decompress' after a running around our muddy backyard) and there are bottles upon bottles of empty 2-liters in bags, the Christmas tree is still there in bags (its fake) and my recycling cans/glass and there is a full layer of dirt all over the kids mittens and hats. It would take me a day just to clean the back porch...which I used to maintain during the day when I wasn't working. Most of the above list is what I used to do when I wasn't working...making curtains, painting, sweeping the dirt back into the backyard where it came from, taking the bottles to walmart and things like that.

Then we add more layers of 'stuff' to the plate now that my husband is back to work because the first week, he was in Madawaska, Maine (THE northern tip of the state) then the last two weeks he's been in Michigan, working straight through the weekend. Not only do we miss him terribly, but he's also not here to help out at all. Now that the back yard is drying up, its GROWING and I have to figure out the lawn mower...which is always 'fun' on the maiden voyage every year.

THEN, yesterday I was shopping (another one of my old favorite past times - I LOVE to grocery shop and never seem to have time for that anymore, either) and my husband calls from Michigan and told me that the boss out there has heard so many shining reports of his job performance out there, she was nearly begging him to move out there. He told her he can't afford to move our family with the cost of moving OR the salary and she said, "So, if we pay for your move, will you move out here?" and he said probably would. Which, moving out of state is something that we all, as a family, have resigned ourselves to the fact that this may have to happen and are actually looking forward to the move (except on days like yesterday when it's 70 degrees, sunny and beautiful and the river is flat and the birds are chirping and the ships are running and blowing their horns - I LOVE it here when its beautiful - but most places are like that). So, I start looking, first, for the biggest, most modern-looking high schools I can find in Michigan with large, impressive marching bands for my daughter to be in and when I showed her some of them, she went into another panic attack and started sweating and shaking and crying and got a headache. She says she wants to move desperately, but, literally, we've had offers to move to Boston, Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, Southern New York, Erie, etc and she gets her hopes up and then the idea falls through and the ups and downs are killing her.

Also, I don't know if any of you remember her father dying a year ago in Rochester. We found out that his death wasn't just an illness, but a heroin overdose, which TOTALLY took me off guard. My daughter says it doesn't really bother her because she doesn't really remember him (she hasn't seen him since she was 6) but I can't help but think that has to give her some pain or at least add to it. She's had more than her fair share of depressing and stressful things happening to her in the last year.

So, I think the instability of our house at the moment is a big cause of much of the anxiety and stress in our home. We just have to get to a place where we can make a decision and do it and settle down. I have to say, moving to a new locale would be very exciting, but I DREAD the idea of moving all our stuff and leaving our river and moving away from my parents...who are only here for six months of the year, but still...that's six months I wouldn't have with them every year, also.

SO MANY THINGS ON OUR PLATE!! So, I have to find a way to scrape off some of them so things can be more manageable and I really think the salon is one of the scrapable things. I will still have my chair, sink, dryer, mirror, cabinets, etc and I can always open up again someday, but these days, I think my family needs me home for some stability. If I had known my husband was going to lose his job a week after I started it, I definitely wouldn't have started it. I would have gone to Penney's and worked in the salon and had a paycheck and insurance!

Anyhow...I have to go post a new thread about information on good places to live in Michigan, in the event we move there.

Thanks again for ALL of your replies to this and my other threads.

:hug:

If I could offer one more bit of advice, I recommend cardio exercise for both of you, as early in the day as you can get it in.

The reason? I also have anxiety issues (anxiety attacks-the severe ones that mimic heart attack symptoms, and I also have OCD-obsessive compulsive disorder) and I refuse to take meds for it. Cardio exercise, however, creates a similar chemical reaction in the body, as taking an anti-anxiety/anti-depressant. Doing cardio regularly, even if you do a quick 10 minutes in the morning-will help to alleviate those symptoms to some degree.

I can tell a huge difference, if I don't do some sort of cardio (treadmill, dance) for a couple of days.

Aphil: I'm a FIRM believer in the healing power of a good dose of sunshine and exercise. Since the weather broke, I've taking Shelley on her roller blades, my son and my dog for a walk almost every day to the park, let the dog run around and play with the kids and just enjoy the afternoon. She has been diagnosed with mild seasonal depression before. In the winter it gets so dark so early...she goes to school in the dark and if she has to stay after for band or whatever, she comes home in the dark.

I've changed my hours at the shop to closing at 3 (with after school hours by appointment) so I can be with them after school and hang out and its been so nice to get that time back and has helped. Especially with my husband back to work now.

Do you know, one of my daughter's favorite forms of exercise is boxing on the Wii. She works up such a sweat! Great for wintertime!

I just wanted to respond to this...NO NO NO! Depression is the result of many many factors, one of which is biological (and IMO, this is a the largest component of it). Definitely be there to listen to your daughter, but it doesn't need to be the minute she gets home from school. As long as you can set aside even 10 minutes a day to give her your full attention, I think you're doing more than many working moms (including me).