I should be happy....
 

This week I have met with both my doctor and my dietician. Both of them think my goal weight is TOO LOW. I am 5' 5" tall, 41 years old. I originally set my goal weight at 150 pounds. Then I was in the doctors office and looking at the charts on the wall. According to the VERY LARGE chart my doc has hanging on her wall in order for me to considered "NORMAL" weight I shoule weigh 144 or below. Well I don't morbidly obese, obese, or even overweight...I want to be NORMAL!!!

They both told me the body composition scale measures fat and muscle and that I have 144 pounds of lean muscle and I should have between 24%-35% body fat in addition to my lean muscle. So neither of them want me to go below 180. WHAT????? To me that sounds way too high!!!

Hubby thought I should be "OH SO HAPPY" because I am now 30 pounds closer to my goal. But I am not happy...I am confused, and maybe even a little disappointed...what the heck is wrong with me??? AND...more importantly WHY do they have those charts hanging up if the doctor herself tells you it is WRONG??? Do they have any idea how awful that chart can make people feelabout themselves??? :mad:

Well hold on now... you have 144 lbs of lean tissue NOW, not necessarily at 180 lbs will you have the same. We don't just lose fat, we lose muscle and "etc" out of our bodies as well. So perhaps you want to make your first goal 180 where they tell you, but then re-evaluate your body then.

Nothing is wrong with you. Plenty of people can't help but be a little dissappointed when they realize they will not be able to reach the number they originally decided upon. But, that's why I think that getting to a higher number and re-evaluating would be a good tool for you.

KateB, you nailed it. I hate those charts, too. I can't understand how they can put such a standardized chart on the wall when I know each person has to be different! It is so depressing.

I think you should see how you feel when you get to 180. Maybe that is a good weight for you. But if you feel that it isn't, then ask your doctor about going lower. Just my opinion, of course.

Charts suck. It's a means to fit every single person into some nice, neat little niche in order to judge their worthiness. For what it's worth, at 5'6", 180 is close to "obese" standards on many charts.

Here's my suggestion - throw the charts out the window. You'll meet your goal (whether it's 180 or 140 or somewhere in between) - when you look and feel healthy to YOUR standards.

I think it's great that you have set high expectations for yourself... Don't let the Dr's sway you. When you feel great in your own body is when you'll know you're at your goal!

Keep up the good work!

Frankly, although I'm not one to judge what other people should weigh since obviously I can't see you or what your body type is, telling somebody at your height not to go below 180 pounds seems ridiculous. That gives you a goal that is still obese according to the BMI and that makes no sense to me. It's one thing to still be in the overweight category but choosing a goal that is still obese just seems odd.

I wouldn't be happy either. Frankly I think I'd just pay no attention and worry more about the way I feel. You have to go past 180 to get to your original goal anyway, so it's not really an issue until it has to be.

Look I think that you should not worry about the number. You do what you have to do until you feel healthy ad happy with yourself. Don't let a chart set your goal. You set your goal and stick with it!

On a side note - those body composition scales and impedence monitors are notoriously inaccurate. Don't go by numbers, when you reach a point where you feel healthy and comfortable in your own skin then you know you're at the right weight.

I am the same height as you and for me 180 is too high. I still feel really big even though I'm not as big as I once was. I don't know what my goal weight is. I am aiming for 160 and then will go from there...my goal weight is going to be whatever I feel comfortable at...not what a doc says or any chart. You'll know what your goald weight will be once you get there, and who knows...it may be 180.

I know the scale is just one means of measurement. I am not sure why this has me in such a tizzy. I think it might be because I kinda feel like I was told I would never make it to that weight so don't even try. The other thing is I don't wanna diet with the idea that 180 is my ultimate goal....then when I get there be told...ohhhhhh that is not good enough, keep working. Which the common sense part of my brain says...Doesn't matter either way, you have to watch what you eat for the rest of your life. So just quit stressing. But sometimes it is so hard to listen to that common sense voice.

I kinda figured I would keep it up (dieting) until my body fat % fell into a healthy range.

I guess I just needed to vent cuz they both made me feel so discouraged.

Your lean mass isn't just muscle and bone it's also blood/water. When you're smaller you won't have as much of that as your body doesn't need it, and you'll likely lose some muscle mass so by the time you get down to that range your lean mass likely will be lower.

And 35% is in the overweight category... I don't understand why a doc would recommend it that high. Maybe they just don't want you to see you get upset if you can't get to goal?

I was estimating my lean mass the other day though right now it's about 120 so to have %25 BF I'd be 160 which is 10 over my current goal. I figure when I get closer to these #s I'll get a dunk tank test for a more accurate body fat count and decide what to do from there as I'd like to get between 20-25 percent.

I wouldnt worry about it too much until you get near it.

I once had to see a doctor once for something completed unrelated to my weight and since I'm away at school I went to the doctor on campus. I never get sick so this was like the first time in three years I had to go for something like this. Anyway, I have PCOS and she told me based on my "condition" I should know that I'm never going to be able to get to something like a size 12 or 14 and I need to learn to accept that.

At that point I then told her I was a size 14. Apparently that meant I had an eating disorder and skewed body image and she suggested seeing a therapist. She thought I needed to see a therapist because at 20 years old, 5'7" I was not happy at 200lbs.

Anyway, point is, doctors don't know what's right for your body. If you're not happy at 180lbs, then don't let them tell you not to go any lower. Beyond being underweight and still feeling like you need to lose, I think it's entirely your choice how much weight you want to lose. You'll know when you're comfortable with your body. As you start to get closer to your goal you can reevaluate where you think you want to be and have a better gauge of what will work for you.

Originally Posted by Idealmuse:
Maybe they just don't want you to see you get upset if you can't get to goal?

Yeah, and I keep thinking that they may have incorrectly assumed that a lower goal weight would be too overwhelming and de-motivating. They don't know how tough you are. :strong:

But it's true, charts are horrible torture devices. 180 may be just great, you'll see when you get there (and they will, too)!

"But it's true, charts are horrible torture devices. 180 may be just great, you'll see when you get there (and they will, too)"

True I think most of us... especially people like me and the OP who had quite a lot to lose won't know for sure until we get there. I might have suggested it a frame issue... but I have a large frame and I'm about the same size and started at the same weight as the OP. 180 would mean only losing 20lbs to me, and I'm fairly fit and somewhat muscular these days and I know there is a **** of a lot more fat left here then 20lbs.

That is really strange!

I don't think it's strange at all. I think that doctors are in a quandary - the "old" way of telling anyone with a spare ounce of fat, that any and all of their health issues are caused by fat and they need to lose weight before they can receive any treatment and the "new" way of ignoring weight issues - well neither have worked very well.

I've had doctors that I can't help but think if I went in to their office with a steak knife stuck in my eye, they would have blamed it on my weight and refused to treat it until I lost 100 lbs. I've had others that when I mention wanting and trying to lose weight, they shrug and say "don't we all."

I remember my first successful weight loss attempt in high school, my goal weight was 150 lbs. I got down to 155 (down from 225 in 8th grade when I started). The weight was coming off very slowly, and I wasn't sure I was going to ever make it to 150, and my doctor pulled the rug out from under me and told me he was changing my goal weight to 140. I pretty much snapped, and gave up entirely. My senior year was spent regaining, and I entered college at 250 lbs. I'm not blaming the doctor, I chose to freak out over what someone else thought of me. At 17, I still thought doctors knew everything, but I could have chosen to stick it out, and cross that last bridge when I came to it.

Last fall my husband and I joined TOPS. TOPS requires you to have a goal slip signed by your doctor on file, so at my next doctor's appointment I asked my doctor for one. He asked me what I thought it should be, and I said 200 lbs. He winced and suggested that I reconsider. I of course thought he meant the weight I suggested was too high. I explained that I thought I would get there and then decide if I could lose more, and I learned that he thought my goal weight was too low. He suggested 250.

So my story is pretty much the same as yours, only I had a completely different reaction to it. My doctor was recognizing that losing 144 lbs would be an incredible accomplishment, and that if I never lost an ounce beyond that, it was still an incredible accomplishment. Losing weight isn't an all or nothing endeavor, and success isn't only measured in how close you can approximate a super model.

Now, I don't plan on remaining at 250 lbs. I think I can do better, and I'm sure that when I reach 250 lbs, my doctor will agree. The thing is I'm excited to have two goal weights. The 250 that my doctor envisions, and the 150 lbs that I do. In fact, I like it so much, I'll probably split the difference and consider 200 lbs my third goal weight. In some ways, you could even say that I have almost 200 goal weights, as I use a sticker chart for myself and every pound is a sticker, and I give myself a little reward at every 5 lb mark, and a bigger one at every 20 lb mark.

This time is different than any other I've attempted, because I've decided this time that only giving up and backsliding is failure.

Don't get hung up on your ultimate goal at this point. Start with the nearest number you can stomache and get to that. Celebrate it, maybe even practice maintenance for a bit, and then take on a bit more.

Any goal is just a number picked out of the air. Sometimes there are "reasons" for one number over another, but it's basically just an idea.

I don't know why your doctor would suggest 180 instead of 150. You'd have to ask and get a more detailed explanation. But it's still just an idea!

You have a long way to go to get to 180 or 150. It doesn't really matter--the path is going to be the same regardless of which one you have in mind. Worry about it when you get closer to the top number. You can be reevaluated then.

I'd say, focus on the here and now and what you're eating today, what exercise you're doing today. :cheer2: :cheer2:

Jay