This post hits home for me because I've always felt the same way. No, I don't think that anyone is "better" than someone else -- I believe we're all valuable, obviously, and I think you believe that too. It's just an objective observation that one person may be more attractive, more intelligent, more...something than the other. It doesn't necessarily mean your self-esteem is low (in fact, from the way you wrote your post, it doesn't sound like that at all to me, but that could be because I can relate to what you're saying). It's tough for people to understand if they're not in the same position.

I don't believe my husband is necessarily more intelligent than I am -- we both are highly intelligent in different areas, but we both are strong in most areas (he's a math teacher and I'm an English teacher, but I have decent math skills and his grammar is better than most people's, for example). The inequality lies in our looks, and not just because of my weight. I was very heavy for a long time, but that's almost beside the point. I'm ok looking -- I have moments of beauty. I think everyone does. My husband, however, is generally considered very good looking by most people. Kind of strikingly so, and effortlessly. He doesn't think we're a mismatch in that sense, but I do. It's not my low self-esteem saying that -- it's more like my sense of reality! For example, when Julia Roberts married Lyle Lovett a long time ago, there's a reason everyone was surprised. I'm sure his personality was fabulous and they fell in love and blah blah blah, but noticing that she's more physically attractive is just natural. I don't think the disconnect is THAT obvious with me and my husband, though! :lol: Of course it's all subjective and meaningless. I just wanted to tell you that there's someone out here who knows exactly how you feel! We've been married nearly 15 years, though, so it's working anyway!

This stuff is so interesting to read. I find myself nodding as I read through others' comments. My husband is 4 years older than I and has been going bald since college. In the "looks" department, I probably have the upper hand over my husband. Typically nerdy accountant with glasses, balding & polyester pants when I met him. I had dated much better looking men in my 20's, but I never met a finer human being than when I met my husband. He is kind, thoughtful & loving. He goes out of his way to do things for me and is much more unselfish in our relationship. He is calm when I am a bundle of nerves. He is thrifty when I want to spend, spend, spend. He is quiet when I am sometimes loud and talkative. In many ways, we are opposites.

We are both equally educated (college degree) and come from middle class Catholic families (went to parochial schools), so we do have a lot in common too. We have been married for 26 years this spring and I can honestly say that I love him more today than when we married. I know him so much better than back then and what I know is only getting better. He is truly my "soulmate" as my kids tell me. :hug:

I sometimes feel as though my SO is too good for me.. he's just so amazing.. I guess I also wonder how *I* got so lucky...

My husband and i both feel we married "up". LoL! I guess that's why it all works out!

We get in arguments about the other one being smarter and such. It's actually pretty funny.

To the original poster... the strip club and the boobie deck... don't push your husband... he may really not care to do that stuff. It's not for everyone. Contrary to popular belief not all guys are into checking out nude women. In fact, i've been to WAY more strip clubs than my husband and such. I worked at a video store for 4 years that had an "adult" room starting when i was 18, nothing phases me in the least. My husband is way uncomfortable about that stuff. The times he has gone to strip clubs for batchelors parties... he draws fat creepy guys who are sitting in the corner (he's an illustration major).