So I've talked to family and friends on this and each one have drawn a blank on advice so I thought I'd try here...
So I have one brother that is married and lives in California. They had a baby last summer and were coming home to Ireland last Christmas to have it baptised. They rang me up last November and were chatting away and my brother suddenly said how do you fancy being Godmother? It caught me on the hop and I replied in a joking way '**** no, sure I have two godchildren already'.
This really really pissed them off and they hung up on me...followed by several emails about how desperately hurt they were, how I ruined their plans, how it made them cry, how terribly inconsiderate I was...etc, etc,etc....so anyways, they came home for three weeks and never spoke a word to me for two weeks, the final week my brother relented a little bit and would make some small talk (only after I tried to talk to him about how stupid it was to not speak to me...we all stayed in the one house for most of the time). This included them spending Christmas day in my parents house where I cooked and they ate Christmas dinner...without thanks. Christmas presents to my brother and to his baby, also without thanks. (as a side note, I didn't want to be Godmother for various reasons one being I have two already, they live in a different country, its their first kid and expect cards and presents for each birthday, sniffle and sneeze. And I did actually attend the Baptism ceremony and got ignored.)
So after Christmas they went back to the USA and no effort was made to contact me. I tried emails and various IM's but to no avail. So I decided to be the bigger person and two weeks ago I emailed my brother and basically said that I'm sorry they were hurt by my refusal but I didn't want to be Godmother to the baby, that I'd refused some of my other nieces/nephews too (I have 9 nieces/nephews) and my answer would still have been the same to this day. That obviously there had been hurt on both sides and I would like to get past it...That I'd like to obviously forgive and forget with him and his wife but if not her then just him would do fine. The reply I got back was still the same, how hurt they were and how terrible I was for refusing, how that we used to have such a close bond and he wanted me to have that with his kid but I shot that down...you get the picture and that I'd have to talk to his wife directly.
I sent him a mail back saying the object of this was to forgive and forget, I wanted a truce not to rake over it again. That I didn't need to be Godmother to have a bond with a child and that I was hurt too..that obviously we were not that close if he was prepared to cut me off like he did for a 15minute ceremony. I also send one to his wife, basically saying that I'd like to be friends but if she wanted to keep it to courtesies at Christmas and visits then there is nothing I can do to change that....
That was send on the 6th of April and I've gotten no reply since. I don't really want to leave it as its been 4 months already but I don't know what to do. He won't answer the phone to me, won't return any kind of general emails. I could decide to leave it, call it his loss and say the ball is in his court but he is part of my family and it hurts that its broken now. My family are not involved in the row but they obviously know the story and they can't understand how unreasonable they are being....I need some advice, some help, something...I dunno...its really bugging me and I need some closure but how to get it, I've no idea. Anyone else got ideas?