I only did first meets during daylight hours at a local pizza bistro. My neighbor always had the the printout of the guys profile and any contact info. I got over the phone...., she would always call me mid-way through to see how I was doing. I was such a chicken-little I used to only give out my office phone number...

I also learned to trust my gut feeling about people...if I didn't like him in the first 90 mins, I'd excuse myself, say thanks but no thanks, good-bye, block him from my email/phone etc.

I did learn to become more assertive from this type of dating.

Hey Gals, Thanks for all the advise and stories, it definately gives me hope. I did post a profile but the picture is going to have to wait, I've been sick for a few days and now I have a nasty fever blister on my upper lip. YUCK!

Glitter - How do you do a criminal background check?
LadyHLG

I have a profile on match.com, but I have it hidden. I'm just afraid of putting my photo on there and having people I know see me. Also, I'm afraid that when I show up for a date, someone will be disappointed because I'm overweight. I do want someone to love me for me, and not my body but I don't want to be embarrassed either. Plus I'm kinda shy..... I just don't know what to talk about with people!

Shelly- I know exactly where you are coming from!! Believe me!
It’s hard to get over the idea that men are only looking for that "perfect" ideal woman. You know the one we see thrown in our faces a million times a day and are told is what is beautiful and attractive. Putting yourself out there seems like a waist of time when you don't fit that ideal.
So I've spent my life not even trying and whining because I am alone. Well, of course I'm alone, I haven't tried to meet people!
I've constantly used the excuse that I will try after I loose some weight. Which is why I am 34 and never had a really serious long-term relationship. I'm not happy and the only person who can change that is me.
I KNOW it’s not that simple. Its completely terrifying to put yourself out there, with a good chance of being hurt, and we all know how cruel some people can be especially about weight.
The realities are that some people will not be attracted to you, BUT there are some people YOU will not be attracted to as well! It’s not something that you or they can necessarily help; it’s just a reality. The first thing to do is be honest in your profile and both the personality and the physical descriptions. Just be you.
As for what to talk about... I can relate to that also. I would like to think that when you meet the right kind of person for you, what to talk about will come naturally, the same way it does when you are with friends or family.
As for someone you know seeing you, well there are a couple of things to consider, first, if they are someone who cares about you then they should know that finding someone is important to you. There are other things to consider like what were they doing on match.com in the first place? Maybe looking for someone themselves? Besides why is using match.com a bad thing? Would you be embarrassed if someone you know saw you in a bar? I think in this day and age, most people are accepting of the idea of online dating sites as a reality. Both my sister and my brother met their spouses using an voice personals ad system (I didn't have any luck with it!). It’s really no different. Its simply a method to meet new people.
I see from your sig that you have lost 42 pounds! That is such a tremendous accomplishment! Don’t under value that accomplishment or yourself!

Now all I have to do is learn to take my own advise!
Heather

My mother (a very wise woman most times) always told me....."You'll never meet anybody sitting in your living room all night"....so go OUT, bookstores with coffeebars are a good place to practice conversation too....depending on what section you browse in, you'll get different pick-up lines, conversation starters. think of it as a testing area.

I use okcupid.com. It's free and fun, and I've met the whole gamut - the good, the bad, the ugly, and the just-friends.

I address the weight issue by referring to my body in a positive manner ("dangerous curves" seems to work well).

Of course, follow the usual precautions - never meet someone you're not comfortable with, don't be afraid to use the line "to be honest, I can't see us getting together again", meet in a public place, don't give out personal details (address, phone, place of employment, etc.), and always tell someone else where you are going and who you are meeting.

And last of all, don't take it too seriously! Have fun!

I used yahoo personal and match.com. I had great luck with yahoo. I actually met the man i married. But here's what i did. First and foremost i have a good sense of judgement. I would email/im people for a while first...and if i got a weird/annoying sense with a person, i would stop communicating with them. After a while, if i felt comfy, i would give the person my phone number and we would chat for a while. Once i was comfy with that i would meet at a public place and go from there. I have never had one of those weird/freaky ppl that i met in person, but probably because i took the first steps. But i met some great people there. Some were nice people but not someone just right for me. Then finally i met my DH. We dated probably for 1.5 yrs and then got engaged and married 6 months later.

I would highly recommend it, but tell people to not just "jump" into without some common sense.

Also one other thing i might caution against. LOOK FOR PPL IN YOUR AREA. I think one of the big problems of meeting ppl more that an hour away is that everytime you are together its like a honeymoon since you don't see each other that often, so you can overlook a lot of things that later may be a problem. Good luck.