My cabbage story is in the post about avoiding food.

8 yrs old must have been a challenging year for my parents with me. I remember that Christmas. We were talking about church. We went every Sunday morning and night as well as every Wednesday evening. I didn't want to go that night. I tried to explain to Momma that God wouldn't mind if just one Sunday night I stayed home, ate some Campbell's soup and watched Walt Disney and Lassie. She was having none of it. I was told to go outside and play.

I went out and climbed my China Berry Tree. I loved that tree. It was the best climbing tree. I slipped from one of the branches to the other to swing on it. I'd done it dozens of times. Well, that tree dropped me. I bent my hand way up towards my elbow. I wasn't going to be bested by that tree, so I got back in and tried it again. It dropped me again and bent my hand the other way. Then I realized I was hurt.

I went inside and told Daddy. He looked at my wrist and noticed both bones trying to break the skin. Well, off we went to the hospital. Back then they admitted you for 2-3 days with broken bones.

I remember insisting on a blue bed. When I had my tonsils out, the girls next to me had a blue bed. Well, they put me in one.

I still remember the look of dumbfoundedness on Momma's face when I announced, "See, I told you I wasn't going to church tonight".

I still missed Walt Disney and Lassie. They didn't have TVs in the room.

Does anyone remember the nasty medicine Castor Oil? Well, I had asked my parents repeatedly where babies came from and they kept giving me that B.S. answer about a stork. I knew that wasn't right because Tracie and Kelly in my 2nd grade class had already told me that babies were pooped out!

So, one day I saw a TV commercial advertising that a woman was going to give birth live on the Phil Donahue show. I couldn't wrap my mind around pooping out babies so I knew I had to find a way to skip school and spend the day at my grandma's house to see the show. I forced down 3 big spoonfuls of the Castor Oil right before bed and just knew I was going to be too sick to go to school.

The next morning I woke up feeling just fine and had to go to school. Right before the 10AM gym class the Castor Oil kicked in. I messed up my clothes, embarassed myself in front of my classmates and had to go home. Since Donahue went off at 10AM, I had missed the baby and since I got sick before gym class, I also missed out on playing with the giant parachute (boy I used to love that thing).

I finally fessed up to my parents about what made me sick during my first year in college.

Tiki.

My problem was always my big huge mouth. There have been several times that my mom just wanted to crawl in a hole and die because of the things I said when I was a kid. Here are a few highlights...

"Mommy, that baby looks just like a cabbage patch doll!" said right in front of new mom and her hideous child.

"No way Jose!" repeated over and over and over, on the international aisle of the grocery store, with several Latino people shopping on it.

And the one I still get razzed about... When i was little we lived overseas for 4 years. When we came back we immediately went to visit my grandparents, who were elders of their church. I had never been to church and was about 4 years old. We had to sit in the front pew with my grandparents and in my loud little voice I turned to mom and said "Mommy, this is more boring-er than the airplane ride!" And which point everyone started laughing, including the preacher who made some "Everyone's a critic" joke, mom turned a lovely shade of purple and ran out of the church with me. Mom's still mad at me for it.

"No way Jose!" repeated over and over and over, on the international aisle of the grocery store, with several Latino people shopping on it.


LOL this reminded me of the one I said growing up. At least my mom tells this story so many times, I think I said it, but of course I don't remember.

Once sitting in the basket at the grocery store, we passed an older African-American gentleman and I said, "Look MOM, its Fred G. Sanford!!!"

He apparently didn't look too amused and my mom about fell over.

These are great stories and I enjoyed reading them. I really don't have any funny memories from my own childhood. I remember several from my kids though.

When I was a single parent and working full time, my son was 12 and DD was 6. They would get off the school bus and I'd be home about an hr. later.( My son insisted he was responsible enough to care for himself and Lacy til I got home and he hated having to go to the babysitter.) Anyway, one evening I got home and found Lacy telling me that Shane had cooked "lobster" with butter for the 2 of them. I called Shane in from outside to find out where he got "lobster". He said, "I caught them in the creek". , he had boiled crawdads, told her it was "lobster" gave her melted butter to dip it in and she ate them. LOL, I begged them to never tell anyone what he had fed her. Needless to say, they went to the babysitter from that time forward until they were older and my son had a little better sense.

Keep in mind this is the same son that : 1. thought he could jump off the roof of our house with an umbrella and just float down like Mary Poppins.
2. pushed the trampoline up close to the house so he and his teenage friends could jump off the 2 story roof onto it.
3. used the leaf from my cherrywood dining table to tie behind the riding lawnmower and drag his friends across the yard.
4. lined up all my Christmas ornaments on the back fence and shot them with his BB gun.
5. Snuck 2 of his dad's bottles of beer, drank them, refilled them with water and put them back in the beer carton in the fridge with lids popped back down on them.

So, we can all rest easier tonite knowing he's now an American Soldier, US Army.

When my 15 year old daughter was about 8 or so, we went to the zoo with my parents. In the primate house, there was this sweet little chimpanzee right up against the glass making faces at my daughter who loves any sort of critter. It (he) started play with its...umm..self and parents started ushering their children away before anyone noticed. SO I'm saying "let's go Scout, let's see somehitng else" and she heaves a dreamy sigh and says "awwww, it's so cute Mom. I wonder if it's a boy or a girl?" at which everyone in the entire room started cracking up. I thought my Dad was going to vomit he was laughing so hard.

We still laugh about it, especially if someone has a cute pet animal or we see one on television. Someone (except my daughter who always senses what's coming ) will say "How cute. Hey Scout, I wonder if it's a boy or a girl?"

My most embarassing moment with DD occurred when she was 3. We had just moved from Tennessee to Detroit and she had never seen a Menorah. We were at Sinai Hospital because my son got hit in the head with a snow shovel. On the way out, we passed the chapel and there was a Menorah display with a few of the candles lit. Before I could stop her, DD ran up to it, blew the candles out and yelled "Happy Birthday!" The security guard and others in the area looked at us like we were crazy and then bursted out laughing. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me.

Tiki.

[QUOTE=NurseMichelle;1554193Once sitting in the basket at the grocery store, we passed an older African-American gentleman and I said, "Look MOM, its Fred G. Sanford!!!"

He apparently didn't look too amused and my mom about fell over. [/QUOTE]

Well, thanks for making me disrupt the office! I burst out laughing at this one! Do you know how hard it is to turn a big laugh into a cough?

Lilybelle -- I am proud to have your son a soldier -- he seems very resourceful (kind of like McGyver, remember that show??). And, you know someone is watching out for him!!!

shelby, thanks. Someone is definitely watching out for him. From all the stunts he's pulled, he's never been in the hospital or had a single broken bone. I'ts truly a miracle. He is definitely resourceful.

LOL, these stories are great and have me laughing this morning.

My dd was 2 1/2 and we were standing in line at the ministry of transportaion.....living in Thunder Bay Ontario at the time....nationalities up there are mostly european. My dd zeros in on this beautiful asian woman, and stares and stares. Then finally looks up at me and asks if that was Mulan. Her fav movie at the time She really did look like Mulan...she was beautiful.

Ok my son last year, at age 5. We were in an antique shop looking around at all the cool things and the cashier comes around to ask if we need any help and what not, she is older I would say in her 60's but she looked great for her age.

My son looks up at her and says "I want to tell you something....you look like a raisin".

I nearly DIED! And then she ASKS me "what did he say" I guess she didnt understand....What the heck do I do I am thinking. I confess what he said and I apologize and luckily she was very very nice about it. Needless to say I will NEVER go back there! I also had to tell my son not to say things that might hurt others feelings. I still dont think he really understands what was so aweful about it!

A Raisin?????

When my DS was about 2, a friend and I took him shopping with us. It was the middle of June and it was hot out. There was a woman in the store with a pair of bootyshorts on that were so short her cheeks were hanging out. She stopped near my son and bent over to look at something. My son reached up and kind of caressed her butt. She turned around to slap whomever touched her only to see it was a two year old in a cookie monster jumper and diapers. I could tell she was offended, my girlfriend was very embarassed but I didn't care. The way I looked at it, she put those shorts on to attract male attention and that's exactly what she got! I did explain to my son the importance of keeping his hands to himself though. He could have caught girl cooties!

Tiki

LMAO this thread is too funny.

My hubby's cousin has a kid and this Christmas he was eager to open presents and he came up to me and rubbed my stomach and asked me if I was done eating yet...
Well I am now!! *LOL*

Later that day he kicked me in the boob and came up and kissed it better. Oy! Poor kids not around people enough.