[jules1216]

Originally Posted by Gardenwife

Amen to that! Howie does the bills and keeps me apprised of our balance and what's coming out of the account soon. We never make large purchases without talking to each other about it beforehand. Joint checking = joint decisions here.

Separate Checking = Joint decisions here
--we talk before either of us makes a purchase $50 or more that is not in the budget. In seven months we will have our 3 bedroom two bath home with a 40 X 60 workshop for hubby on 32 acres along with all credit card bills and daughter's college tuition completely paid off. We kept one credit card for emergencies and online ordering that is paid off monthly. I am 41 and he is almost 47 and we both make decent money - thinking about buying a retirement place either in the Carolinas or Arizona.

[Gardenwife]

Originally Posted by jules1216

Exaggerated expectations often eclipse exceptional realizations

Love that sig!

[Jen415]

Kimberley!!!!! How are you? I've missed seeing you around here!

[lilybelle]

Jules, Man I wish we were in that great of shape. We have a huge mortgage we're paying on. 2 carpayments. Everything else is paid for. We're about the same age as you are. No credit cards here at all. I'm still hoping to win the lottery someday to get out of debt. LOL.

[Gardenwife]

Originally Posted by Jen415

Kimberley!!!!! How are you? I've missed seeing you around here!

Hey, Jen! Life-wise, I'm doing great - working part-time at Caribou and enjoying a daytime schedule with Howie now. Diet-wise, ups and downs. I'm shimmying back into 3FC after being absent for too long.

[4myloves]

I just did a rundown of my finances and I owe close to $80,000, which includes 2 BIG credit cards, 2 vehicle loans and our mortgage (which is really small compared to the rest).

How do I even START to dig my way out of that!?

And, FYI, that debt load is a lot of what my original question stems from.

[4myloves]

Another FYI,

My credit score is 733

[nelie]

4myself,
Whether a couple has seperate or joint finances, they should be able to work on their combined debt. If you aren't already on a strict budget with looking for ways to trim expenses, then I would highly suggest both of you discuss how to handle the debt. I paid off about 30k in CC debt in a couple years and it basically involved looking at my expenses and seeing where I was spending too much money and where I could save money here and there. Even though I'm in the positive (not including mortgage), I still look for expenses to cut and make sure that my spending habits are in line with my future goals. Although some people have more leeway than others, there always seem to be unnecessary expenses that can be cut or reduced in which can be applied towards debts.

Not knowing your finances, these are questions I'd use to start thinking about how to manage the debt you have: For your CCs, if they are at high rates, have you negotiated to lower rates? Transferred balances to lower rate cards? For your auto loans, are the autos you purchased in line with your financial goals? If not, can you sell the cars and get cheaper cars? Are the auto loans at a decent rate? If not, try a credit union or online broker to get the rate lower. Is your mortgage at a decent rate? It costs a lot of money to finance usually but if you are paying over 7% for your mortgage, then refinancing may make sense.

I know how frustrating debt can be but don't let it get you down. There are ways to cut it down and manage it. If you (or anyone in your household) has a problem with CC spending, then it might be wise to stop using the CCs entirely and go to cash only spending for a while. When I realized I had a spending problem, I stopped using credit cards entirely, transferred the balance of my credit cards using fixed rate balance transfers and used cash for all purchases. After I believe I broke the CC habit, only then did I start using a credit card again, one with a 0 balance and that I paid off every month.

Battling debt isn't fun but as you chip away at it, you will become closer every day to becoming debt free.

[almostheaven]

Having joint or separate accounts is going to be dependant upon the situation. I've always had joint, but it's not like I'm a high-priced doctor with multi-million dollar assets hidden away somewhere. A good reason for separate is for those of that richer category, as well as those in blended families, where an ex could attach wages for support/alimony and that can affect the new spouse as well. But I think most of society fits the joint situation better and it's probably what works for most.

[ennay]

4myself -

In general...

Start with the credit cards...negotiate them down to lower amounts, roll them over to zero interest cards or since you have a decent credit score, look at a home equity loan. BUT ONLY IF YOU CAN KEEP YOURSELF FROM CHARGING MORE

Do not charge more to any credit cards. You have to decide and be honest. CAN you use credit cards wisely. If not then you need to destroy the cards (but do not cancel the accounts, that will hurt your credit score)

Work your budget so you can pay off as much extra as you can every month. Then cascade it.

Lets say after all your negotiation, the highest interest rate you have is a $200/month payment plus you can swing an extra $150 a month

Pay that $350 until the first loan/cc is paid off

Then cascade the ENTIRE amount into the next highest interest rate debt --lets say a $300/month car payment...PLUS $350

then when THAT is paid off, move on to the next one...now you are paying an extra $650 a month on that debt - it will dissappear in no time

Anytime you get a raise, bonus etc.- put the entire net increase into the payment scheme. If you get a cash gift for birthday or Xmas, use 1/2 for fun and 1/2 to pay down debt.

If you get paid every 2 weeks, set up your monthly budget based on 2 paychecks. Live within that budget including the paydown strategy. Twice a year you have an "extra" paycheck usually May and November - use it to make an extra debt payment.

---

I dont know what your numbers actually are, but my dh and I did a car loan and 2 student loans like that...and at the time we could only pay $25 more than the minimum on the car loan. But when that car loan ended, that meant an extra $275 for our 1st student loan...etc. Until we started rolling it in to our mortgage and by the time we were mid 30's our mortgage was paid off.

We roll the extra into savings now and pay cash for everything.

[brandewijn]

Originally Posted by jules1216

A little more detail on how we manage our separate accounts--we have both made sometimes more and sometimes less than each other--I was a stay at home mom and then went to work part-time when the kids went back to school and he was laid off for a brief period of time but did odd jobs to pull money in. We both have had times where our income has fluctuated. Each time there is a major change we reevaluate so that we our both sticking to budget, all the bills are evenly distributed based on percentages and who makes what and we both end up with the same amount left over. We must be doing something right because in six months we will be totally debt free in our lower 40's and we don't fight about money.

That is great that seperate accounts work out well for you. We are both in our twenties with zero debt. Our motto is "if we can't pay for it right then, we don't need it." So with that said, we don't have credit cards and refuse to ever own any. He makes our money, we consult one another on big purchases and I pay all of the bills and take care of the checking/savings accounts. DH is gone most of the year (he's military) so if i were to leave even one bill up to him, I'd be screwing myself because it would never get done, especially when they haven't had a port stop in more than a month. We have been married for 4 years and have never fought about money. It isn't an issue. Next year when we buy a new SUV, we will be paying for all of it at once with our own cash. So obviously this must be working for us as well. To each their own.

[WaterRat]

Very interesting thread. I agree that whatever works for you is the way to go. Communication is the key, along with complete disclosure! My DH and I lived together for 16 years before we got married (been married 19 years in Jan) so we had separate accounts. We each put money into a "pot" to pay the household bills. We've just continued this since we've been married. We have a joint credit card which we use to pay all our household bills now (and earn airline miles ) and every month we just sit down, each put in $$ for our own charges and 1/2 the household charges. We've made an agreement that we won't spend over $1,000 without talking about it, and in reality, we do this for things costing much less. We're both pretty tight with our $$ so this works well for us. We have no kids, but we did both pay off fairly significant student loans, and we've paid cash for our vehicles for the last 20 years. I know I'm older than most of you (62 next month) but some of these issues just last and last. If you read Suze Orman (several books, and a monthly column in Oprah mag, plus her own website) she talks a lot about couples and money. Right up there in the top 3 major issues!

[jules1216]

Originally Posted by Gardenwife

Love that sig!

Thanks..I saw it on a friend's blog and fell in love with it...so true for my weightloss journey--expecting it to fall away in a few weeks when it took me almost 20 years to get here....

[jules1216]

Originally Posted by brandewijn

That is great that seperate accounts work out well for you. We are both in our twenties with zero debt. Our motto is "if we can't pay for it right then, we don't need it." So with that said, we don't have credit cards and refuse to ever own any. He makes our money, we consult one another on big purchases and I pay all of the bills and take care of the checking/savings accounts. DH is gone most of the year (he's military) so if i were to leave even one bill up to him, I'd be screwing myself because it would never get done, especially when they haven't had a port stop in more than a month. We have been married for 4 years and have never fought about money. It isn't an issue. Next year when we buy a new SUV, we will be paying for all of it at once with our own cash. So obviously this must be working for us as well. To each their own.

That is so great to have that kind of grip on your finances so young and early in your marriage. There are so many things that can be fought about in a marriage it's nice to have a system where money won't be one of them!!

[jules1216]

Originally Posted by Jen415

Kimberley!!!!! How are you? I've missed seeing you around here!

Jen--what a great picture--you look beautiful!!