Oh, bless you!
I agree that something like Delia Smith's 'How To Cook' would be a useful thing to start with - the kind of book that assumes you have NO IDEA what the **** to do in the kitchen, as is true of so many people these days. That would be a nice helpful starting point, and would explain about things like how to cut and clean veggies, or the names of kitchen utensils or whatever. Nobody is born knowing this stuff - some people get the chance to learn it at school or at home, but lots of people don't, and there ARE recipe books out there pitched at absolute beginners.
Look, love, don't freak out about things being complicated and 'getting it wrong', or about recipes being carved in stone. It's just a learning curve. I love cooking, but I really can't be arsed with recipes - I'm very much a DIY girl.
If you'd like to make soup, then vegetable soup is EASY EASY EASY and yummy.
Get a biggish pan.
Get some veggies you like. (I'd always include onions, because they are yummy, imho, but use whatever you like.)
Get maybe a stock cube or two (I tend to use chicken or vegetable, but use whatever you like. Or don't bother! They're just an easy way to get something flavourful as a base.)
Wash the veggies.
Chop up the veggies into little weeny bits. (I don't normally bother removing skins unless we're talking onions or something, where you have to. Just make sure the skin is clean.)
Put water in pan and heat it up till it starts to bubble.
Sling in a stock cube or two.
Add the onions first - they take quite a while to cook.
Add everything else. (If you have any leftovers sitting around in the fridge - like leftover cooked veggies, leftover chicken, leftover sauce, leftover rice, leftover ANYTHING, pretty much - chop 'em up and add them too!)
Let it cook until it looks and tastes like soup (probably at LEAST 20 mins, but really, you can cook it for ages and it will just keep getting nicer and soupier. Just keep an eye on it from time to time to check it doesn't boil over or run out of water.
Now, sure, you can make it more complicated - you can add salt'n'pepper, or soy sauce, or chili, or whatever other things you like in your food. But basically, soup is just bits of stuff chopped up and slung in water and boiled. (Boiled on a LOW heat, so it simmers gently, rather than on the top heat, so it goes all Volcanotastic on you.) And you can make soup out of ANYTHING! And you can put it in the fridge, and then you can use leftover soup as the base for another new soup, and sling DIFFERENT leftovers in it (pot roast, or stir fry, or whatever the **** is lying around), and heat it up again, and bingo you have an entirely new soup!
BUT DON'T FEEL BAD IF IT DOES BOIL OVER OR RUN OUT OF WATER! (Or if you burn the toast or whatever, you know?) Because these things happen to all cooks, including the ones that write the recipe books! It's fine - it's just a matter of practicing so you get the hang of it, same as learning baseball or parallel parking or any other thing. You can't have good judgment about a thing until you've had the chance to practice for a bit, you know?
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