Introduction - An obsessive yo-yo dieter returns!
Hi All,
I'm not new to 3FC, but the last time I logged was over 11 years ago. I simply could not remember my login credentials!
In short, weight has been a painful topic for me (I had therapy, needed anti-depressants, all because of my obsessive dieting and binge-eating behaviors) but luckily and magically, I "got better". I moved to Germany, completed my studies, and focused on my career. I lost and found love, I lived passionately, and had wine. It was great, and I didn't have to worry about my weight. I maintained my goal weight (always between 109 - 111 lbs) simply because I was happy.
In fact I started to take it for granted how easy a life without weight insecurities was, where one can basically get dressed for work without finding something to "cover the bulge" and slowly realizing that some items don't fit anymore. But that's where I am.
And it's affecting everything, including my marriage. I used to feel flawed but beautiful, but now I look away from the mirror because I am repulsed. What has changed?
I know realistically there is nothing wrong with my weight, but I have been yo-yoing the past year and working really hard to lose the same 7 lbs. It's not so much the number that's bothering me, but rather the sense that I have lost control.
I can't do the same 1200 calories diet like I did before, because I am simply so hungry all the time. In fact my stomach is growling now as I type. I am not pregnant, just eating emotionally a great deal of the time.
If I could sum up my goal, it would be to find myself attractive again. It's not about the numbers. I just don't want to step on the scale (as I have done the past 3 times in the last 12 months), and think, "I just lost those 7 lbs - why are they back?"
That's me in a nutshell. Thank you for having me here and I look forward to sharing experiences!
Last edited by Kachaa; 04-19-2016 at 06:11 AM.
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