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-   -   Lost 40 pounds, still feel fat (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/featherweights/290589-lost-40-pounds-still-feel-fat.html)

polka23 12-12-2013 06:24 PM

Lost 40 pounds, still feel fat
 
I'm down to 136 (from 176 pounds). I've tried losing more, but for the last year the scale just WILL not budge. I still feel fat, and in almost every picture its a tossup as to whether I will look big or not. I'm so frustrated and angry...I know I should be grateful, but I guess I feel like cheated. I feel like its very unfair that I never really seem eat as much as I want to, yet I am still fat. I think constantly having to exert self-control (all day, every day) is making me cranky and sad.

When I was bigger, I always had food to comfort me. It was a reliable, always-available source of happiness. Now I've lost that, and I don't have anything to replace it with. I certainly haven't replaced it with feeling thin. I look in the mirror, and I still feel big. I'm miserable and I dont know why. I think part of it is that even when I was bigger, I was happy. I had friends. I think I dressed well enough that I did a good job of hiding the weight, I'm pretty sure most people would be shocked if they knew how much I really weighed. It just seems that for all the sacrifices I've made...I've gained very little. Pun intended, lol. I was just wondering if any of you had similar experiences. Its like...wheres my happy ending??

girl81 12-12-2013 09:36 PM

What s an average day's menu for you? Do you exercise daily?

What do you mean you had friends when you were bigger? Have your friendships ended?

i encourage adjusting the self talk n your head as well. "i am fat" makes no sense. You are a woman with a body and that body happens to be bigger than you want t to be at this time. The real goal s not weight loss but rather inner peace n accepting things as they are n this moment and being grateful/happy for all that s good. Weight loss may or may not come; but you have the choice and the right to be happy n each moment. There s no true joy without inner peace; so i encourage you to make peace with your body and watch as t begns to respond to your kindness.

pixelllate 12-13-2013 09:22 AM

What feels unfair? That you have a large appetite but normal metabolism? I have that too, but good thing no metabolic issues yet where I'd burn way way less.

I'm guessing the "fat feeling" is likely less "I look like elephant" and more "I'm not where I want to be" which can feel just as awful - a lot of Featherweights feel this way and it can be hard to talk about because in society, we'd look a little funny being close to at an average BMI and complaining about our bodies when most are overweight. This is the TOUGH part of the final lb loss - when you don't get the rewards of ultimate-goal body but you have to work harder than ever cause you burn less than at starting point.

Perhaps it would be helpful to think about it as "I'm not where I want to maintain forever, but I am far far closer to my ultimate goal-body than before." I felt dissatisfied and still feel that way until I am at my goal weight as well - but as a regainer, I remember feeling satisfied when I got to goal. I think that likely when you reach goal, you will also feel a lot better - you're aiming for a 20 lb loss yes? You're my height and that 20 lbs will make an enormous difference.

polka23 04-16-2014 05:28 AM

Thank you guys, this has been really helpful. I really needed it.

MinnieMouse91 07-05-2014 05:33 PM

I feel that too. I lost over 30 lbs but I still wasn't happy. I could tell when comparing pictures that I had lost weight but looking down at myself, trying on clothes, looking at myself in the mirror, I really didn't see THAT much of a difference. It still feels that way and sucks. So....I keep looking at the pictures to remind myself that even if I don't see it NOW, I *have indeed* lost weight, and other people can tell too.

Healthy weight loss really is such a slow process and I have to remind myself of that. It took 3 years to lose that weight...and this year I've *gained* weight. It's a lifelong process to lose and maintain a healthy weight and a healthy diet. Some years might be more concentrated on maintain than losing.

It's okay. Don't ever, ever give up.

jenny15 07-05-2014 06:05 PM

help?
 
hi. i know this has nothing to do with these posts but im new on this site and i have no idea what im doing . i have so many questions and im really confused. thank you!

Arwen17 08-09-2014 10:29 AM

Totally get what you're feeling. I thought I would have a perfect body at 150lbs since that is BMI 22 for my height. But here I am at 140lbs right now and still have a huge stomach. I think BMI and a lot of other "scientific measurements" set us up to think we're going to reach our goal weight sooner than we think because everyone carries their weight differently.
I thought I was medium frame back when I weighed 216lbs. Now, with most of the weight gone, I can tell I am a small frame and because I'm apple-shaped, I'm going to have to get very low to achieve that perfect body I dream about.

It sucks because I don't know how many more pounds I still need to drop. Ever since I hit "normal BMI" for my height, I kept thinking "maybe in 15 more pounds, I'll have that flat stomach". But it didn't happen. Right now I'm still thinking the same thing "maybe in 15 more pounds, I'll see some serious improvement. It's gotta come off the stomach eventually."

I'm vegan and I eat really clean and exercise using Insanity and try to do everything I possibly can to lose fat and preserve muscle. But I just have to accept it's going to take time. And if I really want to reach the goal some day, I can't give up on it today.

In the beginning, I never dreamed I'd be as low as I am now and thought the weight of models was ridiculous. But now that I'm closer, I can see why they have to weight so low to be so lean, at least for my body type. I'm built like them. Tall with no butt or hips ever, and gains all of her weight in her stomach like a male would instead of hips/thighs/butt like a normal female would.

Stefania 08-19-2014 12:21 PM

First of all, kudos on the weightloss! That took a lot of work and you should feel proud of it. Maybe you had other ideas about what 136 would feel like, but keep on going. Don't worry too much about numbers but about how healthy you feel as opposed to before.

If your friends are jealous of you for doing what's right for your health, screw them. They were never looking out for your best interests. I know it's hard, but don't give up!

polka23 06-14-2015 04:32 AM

Thanks you guys!

HungerWerks 06-14-2015 04:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by polka23 (Post 4899239)
I'm down to 136 (from 176 pounds). I've tried losing more, but for the last year the scale just WILL not budge. I still feel fat, and in almost every picture its a tossup as to whether I will look big or not. I'm so frustrated and angry...I know I should be grateful, but I guess I feel like cheated. I feel like its very unfair that I never really seem eat as much as I want to, yet I am still fat. I think constantly having to exert self-control (all day, every day) is making me cranky and sad.

When I was bigger, I always had food to comfort me. It was a reliable, always-available source of happiness. Now I've lost that, and I don't have anything to replace it with. I certainly haven't replaced it with feeling thin. I look in the mirror, and I still feel big. I'm miserable and I dont know why. I think part of it is that even when I was bigger, I was happy. I had friends. I think I dressed well enough that I did a good job of hiding the weight, I'm pretty sure most people would be shocked if they knew how much I really weighed. It just seems that for all the sacrifices I've made...I've gained very little. Pun intended, lol. I was just wondering if any of you had similar experiences. Its like...wheres my happy ending??

First of all, love your signature quote: "I can eat whatever I want, or I can wear whatever I want...I choose!"--me

So true! And people have given you lots of good advice. Personally, I had gotten to 103 pounds before, because I was ill, and knew what it looked like, so that's how I chose a goal weight.

Unless you know ahead of time what a certain weight will look like, you can't really know what your final goal will be, I guess. Now that I'm getting close to my ultimate goal weight of 101.5, I'm amazed to see that I still have quite a gut, and my thighs, even though I exercise, are not the size I'd like.

But I'm not going to go lower than an 18.5 BMI, so whatever I have there is what I will be satisfied and happy with. At 19.6, I'm pretty happy already, as the gut and the thighs are MUCH less than they were. And I will definitely be slim - my goal - at 101.5.

I can totally relate to what you're saying about not being able to eat as much as I want to. The way I deal with that is to bunch my daily 1200 calories kind of together, so I can feel full at least some of the day. I also have one "cheat day," after I've made my small weight loss goal for the week (point four pounds). But I will have to deal with being hungry most of the time for the rest of my life.

From experience, for me, being skinny will be totally worth it. One reason is right in your signature, and good health is another benefit, among many others! :broc: :D

I've had to find other ways to make myself happy, like finding hobbies and interests, and even connecting more with family and friends, spending more time on household chores, yard work, and organization in general, and career-related endeavors. It really is kind of fun, and has improved my life immensely. ;)

Best wishes on your continuing journey! :)

skittlesfirehawk 06-14-2015 05:48 PM

I'm right there with you I've lost 45lbs and everyone around me keeps calling me thin and making comments about me floating away but all I see is tummy fat and a waist that won't shrink.we just have to keep working on it.i look at old photos and realize I've come a long way.this didn't happen overnight so we can't fix it overnight.

charbreaker 06-22-2015 01:25 AM

It's really hard to unsee who we used to be or what we looked like. I'm nearly 40lbs down from my highest weight and at times I feel like I don't look different at all. It's really frustrating. So much of the frustration and doubt is mental; we're so used to seeing ourselves in the mirror daily. It's so easy to doubt and have negative self-talk. It's important to try and keep a healthy perspective of how far you've come. I struggle with this daily. Good luck, everyone!

JossFit 06-28-2015 06:15 PM

When trying to lose body fat, our bodies go through a lot of stages and what once worked for us often ceases to continue to do so after a time.

How much activity do you do?
What is your current calorie level/macronutrient ratio split?
Do you use a food scale to weight your portions?
Do you use an app to track your meals?
How often do you "cheat"?


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