Hi Feathers,

I've felt "quiet" lately, nothing exciting to report which is totally fine with me. Been eating like a monster (not really a monster but definitely not withholding) and have increased my lifts, especially in regards to pullups and dips which is awesome. Weight is in the 124s. I started reading "The Silmarillion" last night after hanging out with my folks - quiet Friday night without drinking - today is a relaxing day with my roommate playing music (we wrote a song this morning kinda) and going to the farmer's market and gym momentarily.

I went real hard on Thursday and feel like someone has beaten me with baseball bats with regards to almost every muscle group. I would be a liar if I said I didn't enjoy that - but I hope I'm able to get anything done at the gym today! I'm really bad at working through soreness/discomfort and tend to just say "screw it" and not push myself. Tomorrow I'm going to NYC because I have a training course for work on Monday in Manhattan so I probably won't end up making it to the gym for Sunday or Monday. We'll see.

Hope everyone's having a good weekend! I saw a guy with this shirt on at a diner yesterday - MADE MY DAY:

http://www.teeshirtuniversity.com/co...ages/shape.jpg

Bayzee Really glad to hear your recomp is going well - eventually the gains will taper off and you'll have to eat at maintenance or a surplus to keep them going, which is where I am now on a lot of my lifts. It's so confusing! Nicely done on the low WI though, you didn't gain a thing from your week off!

Turbo I had a freaking FOUNTAIN of poo today, I hope tomorrow/later today will be better for you on the poop front. The weather is so stupid and awful - you couldn't PAY me to run outside in this cold wind. Have fun cleaning and getting stuff done this weekend!

Aidangm Yikes, I probably need my wisdom teeth out but I don't waaaant to. Sounds like you're handling it better than many people do, though - no puking or swallowing huge mouthfuls of blood?

nightbugs Welcome! I hope this chat helps you find balance!

PrincessSophia Hello and welcome!

Maddie Hope girls night out was an awesome blast! Eating out when the only decent options are BORING and you can cook them better at home is the worst feeling. I know what you mean about rapport with heavy people - I was never even obese but I still relate to the feeling of being "fat" - but need to acknowledge that now as a non-fat person people treat me differently and I have "thin privilege."

olehcat Carry that "light" feeling with you and don't let it go! Transformation stories are really fascinating for me but I am too lazy to really TRANSFORM. My most recent "before" and "after" doesn't even look THAAAT different, just like some extra pounds fell off:

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphot..._5353566_n.jpg

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphot...58896256_n.jpg

Hi everyone, this seems like a nice chatty thread!

I hope that maybe posting a bit about things will help give me some motivation to get started actually losing weight...I'm pretty stuck in an overeating rut at the moment! Like literally I go to the supermarket, buy food, sit at the cafe inside, eat and do stuff on the computer, then go back and buy more, repeat repeat repeat. Seriously, I feel like, who does stuff like that? But it's become a very very bad habit now!

I almost don't even know where to get started with all this. I want to lose about 20 pounds eventually, and it seems like so much...and then, all my usual weightloss methods I KNOW are not good, way too extreme, hence the rebound! So I'm pretty much looking to try something new....any suggestions, anyone?

Krampus I can definitely see a difference in those pictures! But still, both are absolutely gorgeous!

Oh, it also looks like several people here are into weightlifting? I kind of would like to give that a shot. I don't have access to anything but dumbbells, but between those and some bodyweight exercises I'm thinking about trying to make up some sort of strength training routine, along with getting back into running (which I used to do fairly often but haven't since putting on weight recently). So I'll be interested to read about what you guys are all doing there as well!

Bayzee :We had decided to move about 1 week before we learned someone might be interested in buying the place (it was already up for sale when we moved in). Hope you relaxed this weekend! And good job on being already down to your pre-vacation weight! that is awesome!

krampus : I loved The Silmarillion! A bit dense, but so good (once you remember all the names that sounds all the same). I love the guy TShirt bwahahah. Have fun in NYC!

nightbugs : You can do tons of things with dumbbells, especially if you are just starting. My lifting routine was only a dumbbell one for the first weeks. I started with some basic Squat w/dumbbells, lunges with DB bicep curls, shoulder overhead press, etc :)

***

Hiii. Up a little bit again today at 136.4. SCALE STOP MOVING THIS WAY, kthanxbye. I did eat a bit more yesterday, but I also ran 11k. I thought it would get even in the end, not fair :P

Did ton of cleaning this morning, boyfriend was supposed to clean the bathroon, he did not yesterday (busy playing videogames, you know, important stuff) and he ran his 1/2 marathon training today and he is coma right now. I'm currently at my lab waiting for some stupid medium to heat up, maybe he will have cleaned it when I get back? (YEAH SURE.)

Have a nice sunday ladies!

Hey girls!

Had a weird leg pain the other day...and without going into great detail, after talking to a nurse friend, she opened my eyes to a very unhealthy diet I have been on. It consists of drinking my chais more than eating food. I didn't think of it as starvation, but that's what I was doing. I figured if I hit my calories & ate a few small meals, then I was cool. Wrong. And my body let me know.

So, yesterday, I ate well. I had a grain & a protein in every meal. I had more fruit & veggies. I know I should have realized all of this, but I didn't. Which scares me a little. I was so intent on continuing to lose weight kind of secretly that I was far less concerned with eating to keep my body fueled & functioning properly. And hello! You can't get pregnant & maintain a healthy pregnancy if you are essentially starving yourself.

Anyway, I'm going to take some time today & really think about our menu for the week & have all of the essential ingredients for a well-balanced diet. I've pinned some great, healthy recipes that I want to try, so that will be the focus from here on out. I know it sounds stupid & I should have known better, but this is what it is. Thankfully, it stopped quickly & now I can make healthy choices that fuel my body. I feel really stupid, ashamed & embarrassed, but I suppose that's ok - it's in those moments where you decide to make a change or not, right? :o

Very quiet weekend. Didn't do much at all...just relaxed, worked out and did a few things around the house.

Didn't weigh-in today. I'm following Joss' lead and changing my weigh-in habits. Ideally, I'd like to be a "weekly" weigher, but baby steps...I'm going to do it 2x this week, instead of daily. This week Tues & Fri or Sat.

I've been putting a serious amount of pressure on myself this week about my weight and I'm starting to feel it. I'm very disappointed that I took a week off my plan. I know I needed it and I know it was fun, but it makes me think about how serious I am to actually stick with something.

I'm going to focus on staying within the calories my trainer sets for me, and stonger lifts instead of weight on the scale for the rest of my 12 weeks. I plan on continuing with the trainer after the 12 weeks, but want the rest of the weeks to really count. My "hard" season is approaching...patios, drinks, bbq's, camping, etc. I need to stay on plan.

_________________________________

Krampus...Have fun in NYC!

Turbo...I'm glad I'm not the only one with a significant other that thinks playing video games is work. lol! It's new to me as he just got into playing. I'm trying to be patient and understand the fun, but I just don't get it. Moving is never fun, but hopefully your new place will be better.

MaddieB...It's very easy to slip into unhealthy diet habits. Instead of focussing on just calories, try to focus on your macros (carbs, proteins & healthy fats). This helps you make better food choices. I try to have each at every meal. Low carb is not for me and I have not removed any food groups from my diet. Also, if you are not wanting to lose more weight, I imagine you are still eating WAY too little. Use on online calculator to know your maintanance calories and eat-up!

Nightbugs...Tons of good exercises are available with dumbells. Just google it and you'll find videos too, showing proper form.

hi, all,

I was supposed to go back to work after my spring break today, but we had a snowmegeddeon event yesterday and we are buried in like 10 or 11 inches of snow! So everything is closed. So yay, extra day of vacation.

So I've decided I'm not going to obsess about weight any more. In the last few days I have learned about two people around my age who have died suddenly and tragically (one FAR too young from a heart attack while on vacation with his wife and another from a car accident - and his story made national news, it's the story about the little girl who had to hike through the canyon near L.A. to get help for her dad who ended up dying, so awful and tragic). I did not know either of these people well, but one was the husband of the best friend of one of my friends and the other was a friend of MY best friend whom I had never met but heard tons about.

Anyway, these two incidents have really made me see how short and precious life is and I don't want to waste another minute angsting over my weight. I am going to focus on health. I hope that one will naturally mean I'll weigh less. For example, I plan to do a lot more exercising because it's good for me and it makes me feel good. I intend to make healthy choices at every meal the best I can. For example, for breakfast I had fruit, including a small avocado. For lunch I will have a salmon patty and some raw veggies. But I'm not going to waste agony and stress over this. I may not even weigh myself for a good while. I'm going to stop beating and berating myself up. I'm going to stop drinking so much wine because ultimately if I drink more than a glass, it doesn't make me feel good. Drinking ONE glass is part of life's pleasures and I will continue doing that. I will not allow myself to be unhappy during friends/family gatherings. I will just feel grateful that I have friends and family with whom to socialize.

Anyway, that's where I am right now.

I hope you all are doing well!

@krampus - you look fantastic in your pic!! Your arms look super shapely!

@Maddie - good attitude, focusing on health for the future pregnancy!

@Jossfit - I hope you're okay, you've been quiet a while!

@Bayzee -- good luck getting back into it after your break! That's always challenging, sounds like you didn't do too much damage, though, that's awesome!

@Turbo - I'm going to have to start keeping my place super clean because I'll be moving and the landlords will probably have to be starting to show people the place all the time for awhile! Ugh, and I'm so sucky at keeping up with housework sometimes, lol!

@nightbugs - welcome!

Hope anyone I missed is doing well!

Maddie : Aww girl! I think we all did something that was basically ''bad'' for our healthy at one point or another in our weight loss process. We all get in this mood where we feel we are so in control of everything and all... and we end up pushing a bit too much. (here is talking a girl who was burning over 1400 calories when race training last summer and was not eating ANY of those calories back, most of the time. Healthy Police almost came tog et me!) Don't be embarrassed about it. Focus on the fact that you are now making things better for you and your future little kiddo you're trying to produce ;) big hugs to you!

Bayzee : Ahhh, I'm glad to hear I'm not the only woman who got a 13 years old significant other who plays video games too ;) Good luck becoming a weekly weigher! Hope you succeed more than I did!

Olehcat : Arrrhg I'm not bad at cleaninnnnng. 3 months of duper cleaness coming along, yuk! LOL

***

Hi ladies! Quiet day in Feather land!

After my scale going up and up all weekend, I had a woosh this morning and hit 134.0 lbs. I had great poops and not rabbity ones in the last 2 days, yay, that probably helped this low WI. Which means I am past my first unofficial mini-goal of going back at 135, F YEAH. When I looked at myself in the morning, I thought that my tummy looked a bit flatter.. Great way to start a day.

I also had a great run, I hit an awesome average pace during my speedwork. I'm planning to hit the gym tomorrow to do cardio and legs workout. I did not do legs at the gym since 2 weeks (hello, snowstorm last tuesday). I'll probably want to die.

Have a great week, Feathers!

Hi Feathers!

I'm a BLIMP today - was 127.4 before a giant sh!t and the gym and 126.8 after running 2.45 miles in 20:00. Ate too much and didn't exercise all weekend. My friend I visited in NYC weighs like 5 pounds more than I do (and is 5'8) and eats like a horse. We had a great time going to stores on the Lower East Side trying on spooky dresses - I tried on a Medium dress at Trash & Vaudeville and couldn't get it over my butt and it was just TOO SMALL everywhere, and - TA DAAAAAAA - did not interpret it as me being inadequate, just that the dress was too small. Wow!

I feel like I'm entering the "acceptance" phase, which I'm happy about and also, ha ha, feel like I should feel guilty about not trying to be thinner. But seriously F that, life is good. My boss is back and there's lots to do at work again. He didn't die and he is in a good mood and I had another huge poop and I packed a great lunch for today - freezer veggies with okonomiyaki sauce, mango and daikon slaw, and a FATTY FATTY MCFATTY turkey burger (much less lean than Trader Joe's hehe).

Turbo WOW you skinny thing! You're doing so well and totally back in business after the winter slowdown. Nothing kicks off a day like pooping your brains out and liking your reflection - I'm glad you're in such a good groove with running and gym too. You are going to SLAY IT on leg day!

olehcat No use freaking out about your weight when there are more important things to do - like enjoying life and being thankful you haven't died in a horrible tragic accident - and snow to be shoveled, yuck. HOORAY for extra vacation day though, right?

Bayzee Summer is my hard season too. There are not enough hours in the day to exercise off all the BBQs and drinks and ice cream cones that are synonymous with summer. I am really impressed and inspired by your resolve to go the route of lift gains and less-than-lowest-possible calorie counts - I have faith you will get where you want to go!

MaddieBPhoto Did you get the gout?! Glad you are back on real food and planning out a nutritious lifestyle to help grow a little person in you. There's nothing to be afraid of, and seriously there are infinite recipes and dishes to try that are healthy and nourishing and WON'T MAKE YOU REGAIN ALL THE WEIGHT ;)

nightbugs Weightlifting is seriously THE BEST - it gives you something to measure your progress by besides weighing yourself, and it forces you to eat enough of the right stuff because otherwise you just can't get the weights up and you feel weak. I started out with the beginner routines from www.stumptuous.com and sort of forged my own plans. I focus on free weights - doing compound lifts with some machines and isolation exercises. It has done WONDERS for my body image and completely reshaped my body - and now I maintain 123-125 eating 2000+ calories a day!

Lots of revelations going on here lately, and boy has it been quiet. I have been reading, but keeping my head in the sand because I am majorly ashamed of myself. I don't know why, but after I last posted, I went on a major binge, so my weigh in for this week for the competition was almost 9 lbs more than my previous weigh in. Seriously, I was so ashamed that I almost skipped weighing in, but I know it's mostly -- well maybe half -- water weight and that I can still place in the top 3. Right now I'm 4th with all that extra weight, and 3rd place and I are neck in neck. I am having trouble getting back on track though, I've been skipping workouts and being bad all around. All this triggered by my husband wanting to get takeout for our anniversary. He told me Wednesday night, and so I just threw caution to the wind and figured, I might as well eat everything that night AND on our actual anniversary, and I just haven't been able to get my head back in the game since.

I have ALSO been thinking that I just need to give up the scale, give up the diets and focus on healthy living. I know my issue with the weight gain is because I still feel the need to diet. If I didn't always have the intention of going back on a diet, I wouldn't feel the need to eat everything this very minute. So I am on damage control this week and next, so that I can hopefully recoup some money from my competition, but after that, I am giving up the weight loss obsession, and hoping that everything just falls into place on its own. Like, I know I had horrible eating habits before and all, but at least back then I wasn't packing on 10 lbs in a week. At least now that I have formed some healthy habits, I should be able to successfully have much more normal eating habits once I kick the binging to the curb.

Hope Joss is okay, it's weird for her to be quiet for so long.

JessicaB I'm really sorry to hear it's been so rough for you lately - I do firmly believe that dieting and binging are directly linked to each other and too much of one causes the other and moderation becomes next to impossible. Having a time-defined weight loss goal as a featherweight is a dangling carrot that often results in major setbacks - I remember dieting for a vacation in 2010 and having HUGE weekend binges and barely eating all week to try and break even on the scale. When you talk about "going back on a diet" how strict are we talking?

JossFit, Alex, Dorian, Dianne, pixellate, Aidan, TheBunneh, everybody else Hope you're all doing OK!

I've always tried to stick to around 1200 calories no matter what sort of exercise I was doing, etc, and I'm starting to realize that may be too low. Oddly enough, I did very well with 1200 calories for my entire weight loss journey. It only became problematic for me after I'd been dieting for 6 months, and down to a healthy weight. I'm not sure if it's diet fatigue, or if my body wants to hold onto the last few pounds, thus increasing cravings at this point, but I honestly feel that it was easier to eat less when I weighed more. Either that, or I actually am eating less than I did then. I am a calorie estimator, not a counter, so I could be under estimating, but I don't really feel that I'm eating much differently than how I did in the beginning.

krampus : That is an awesome outcome during your dresses shopping! Being able to say ''this dress is the problem'' and not ''Jesus I should drop weight'' is a WINNEEEEEEEEEEER. Why should you feel guilty about not wanting to get more skinny? You are already skinny, you look great, feel great and enjoy food you eat :) That is a winning combo to me!

Jessica : Aww sorry you are hitting a rough patch right now. The pressure of the competition probably did not help in all this situation. I don't think we'll ever be able to just get rid on binges : it is normal to have craving for something. Maybe after the competition is over and you increase you cal a bit, this bit more ''room'' to deal with might took off big weight on your shoulders. I truly hope everything will get better for you!

All the others who disappeared : Hope everyone is okay!

***

134.0 again on the scale this morning, which is perfect for me. I hit the gym but cut by 15 minutes my second session of cardio, wanting to save a bit of legs for my 8k scheduled tomorrow, not wanting to die on the path or something. I'm planning refueling with carbs on lasagna tonight, I can't wait!

I don't know if it is some psychological effect on seeing a smaller number on the scale this last days, but today I was quite happy about how my tights were looking (and also ''Jesus, my boobs are smaller''). I haven't felt that good about myself in a while. It feels awesome. :)

Have a great day ladies!

Hello Ladies! Just have to check in here to keep myself accountable. Still lying super low trying to recover but must remind myself that not feeling well is no excuse to eat the house.....



((((Turbo, Krampus, Joss, Maddie, Bayzee, Olehcat, Jessica, Aidan, Nightbugs))))

So, I'm currently working on putting together some sort of an eating and exercise plan.....things are quite busy as I'm also currently going through some packing and visa things gearing up for an international move! But I have about a month left, and this is kind of a good time to start building some real healthy habits to take with me once things start getting hectic and all new after actually moving.

It's helpful reading everyone's updates to get ideas!! Will contribute more myself soon...

Krampus ~ I agree with Turbo that was a FANTASTIC result in the dressing room. Being able to say "Eff you, dress!" instead of "Eff you, self." = kind of the ultimate victory. And I just have to ask... do you actually HAVE a rifle with which you (or the bf)) would answer the door?

Jessica ~ Good for you for staying accountable, even though you're not happy with your eating habits right now. That alone takes courage.

Turbo ~ Grrrrr! To those rowdy teenagers upstairs. And way to freakin' go with your new lows, girl. You're rocking it. (Did the bf end up cleaning the bathroom...? ;) )

Nightbug ~ It does sound like right now is the best time to start to build new habits. Where are you moving abroad?

Hugs to everyone else I may have left out!!!

~~~
So I'd gotten in the habit of stopping off for a muffin (or two...) before work. A muffin is a better choice than a bagel, but not as good as the fresh fruit that I was having before I went all haywire. Managed to skate past that particular temptation this morning, though, so first win for the day. Hurray!!!

Planning on as light of a day as I can, food-wise. Wonder if I can sneak out for a subway veggie for lunch...? And we have some fresh spinach in the fridge, so will hopefully cook that up with some leftover steak and make m'self a delish salad for dinner.

Hope it's a happy hump day for ya, feathers!

Hey girls!

Just checking in. Back down to 133.4 today after a very healthy, well-balanced diet yesterday. I had a grain, a protein & veggie with every meal. I was realizing yesterday that I have never eaten a completely balanced diet IN MY LIFE. I always ate what I wanted, then dieted. I may have eaten more that way in the beginning, when I first started to lose weight, but I don't really remember. Baby girl & I have been starting every morning off with a "smoovie" & it's such a great way to get tons of fruits & goodies in for both of us :)

And for those of you who like food porn, I posted this AMAZING dinner I made to Instagram last night:

http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j3...psa0fe51c9.jpg
Cheesy Baked Spaghetti Squash with Grilled Chicken from Skinnytaste.com :)

Maddie ~ That dinner looks deeeelicious! And fairly easy to make, too! Mmmmmm, squash. And boy do I hear you on the whole "balanced eating" thing. Such a novel concept, right? The only time I purposely include grain in my diet is when I'm bingeing, so props to you for being able to do grain, protein, veg in a balanced setting.

nightbugs : gettin some heatlhy habits before this big crazy move might releive help releive some of the stress. From where and to where are you moving?

Alexis : I'm glad you ask, he never cleaned up the bathroom! In his defense, he really did hurt himself during his run this weekend and is only starting to feel better about this. (I am really starting to wonder WHEN he will decide to do this though :P) Good job on skipping the muffin! It is crazy how a little thing like that can quickly become an habbit, and how it seems to take forever to get rid of an unhealthy habit, huh? Amazes me everytime!

Maddie : A smoovie, this is so cute! :) Ah wow, this squash looks delish!! For really stupid reasons, I have all the trouble to cook some Spaghetti squash in my place : the boyfriend never wants to eat some, as it ''does not like real spaghetti'' and it kinda feel cheated by the name of the thing or something.

....
....

(yes, you can enter a Are U F kidding me face here :P LOL)

***

Hi girls! 135.0 this morning, but I've been having more carbs this week (cooked a big pot of barley/veggies soup for my daily lunch)/weight lifting yesterday, so water retention could be happening.

I had a nice workout this morning, 8k run around the lake. The cardio was fine but the legs were heavy in the second half because of my the legs workout yesterday at the gym. Felt great to be able to push through it though.

Nothing much to report except that I saw that TLC is gonna have a new show showcasing crazy people obsession and it seems that they are going to have a guy who likes to put a mermaid tail and swim in water with it. OKAYYY. (where do they even FIND people like this)

Have a great day ladies!

Good morning, feathers!

I haven't been popping in quite as much because I'm trying to free my mind from this mindf*** that is me obsessing with weight and then not doing anything and everything. I mean, seriously. I have felt so liberated the last few weeks, my mind has felt completely free. Now I think I probably put on a few pounds over spring break, but I suspect I may have dropped back down a bit the last few days, based on how my clothes feel. Still, I know I'm still right around the usual 145-146 (which shouldn't be usual, but it has been the last year).

I don't know what the solution is for me. I would truly like to lose weight and be somewhere between 110-120. I think that is an ideal weight for me and my frame and height. I am now about 30 pounds heavier than that. I really would like to just drop those 30 pounds but without depriving myself of all the pleasures of life. In order to lose those 30 pounds, I have to make sacrifices food-wise that I am not currently making and don't seem to be willing to make because I feel like life is too short.

I know I said wanted to focus more on health and having a healthy relationship with my weight, but I also don't want to stay overweight (even if it's only slightly overweight). I don't like looking short and dumpy, especially at my age. I miss being "tiny" and looking graceful and slender. But until that desire becomes more important than indulging myself, then *shrugs* it's not going to happen.

Also, why is 1200 calories considered the big number for weight loss? i just see tons of people at all different weights and heights using that as a weight loss number. It seems like so little food.

@Turbo - your weigh-ins have been great lately! Go you! And that dude with the mermaid tail? I think I will just have to watch that -- that sounds completely weird and insane! ;D

@MaddieB - sounds like a good plan for healthy eating! I need to get better at that myself. What do you put in your smoothies in the morning?

@Alex - I'm with you. I find it difficult to eat grain and not eat too much of it! Like cereal? I can't even buy it or keep it at home. No way can I have a reasonable portion of it. I made a basmati rice/daal dish to die for a few days ago. Sounds healthy? Sure, if you eat a reasonable portion of it which is TINY. I tried, but I know I didn't always succeed at keeping the portion right. So I try not to make these things too often!

@Jessica - yeah, your post was one of the reason I asked the question about 1200 calories...I wonder about that long term and whether so few calories would make you want to binge like crazy eventually...

@krampus - Very interesting about the weekend binges and strict eating during the week. Uhg, that's been my major trouble every time I try to "diet". And I think you are at a very healthy point in your weight/maintenance, etc.! You're maintaining around the low 120s and you are still going out and enjoying good food and drink and enjoying life. Sounds perfect to me! I SO wish I was where you are right now -- maintaining around a weight that made me feel and look good....

Hungffff bloated today, 126.8 and had a disappointing poo. I went out to dinner with a friend and had a beer and a HUGE (12 oz) cheeseburger and some fries, so I know why, but I am looking forward to healthier choices. I did run 5K outdoors on an almost empty stomach feeling hungry the whole time and pushed through in 27:25 so my running is getting faster (thanks, lifting and intervals) - I did 26:58 on the treadmill the last time I timed myself. Tonight I'm planning on going to spin class, cooking a healthy dinner and then playing at an open mic. I hope I have time to get it all done...

olehcat It's totally better to NOT obsess about your weight. Have you not weighed since break? At 140s I don't think it really matters that you're a few lbs overweight BMI-wise as long as you don't exist on Ding-Dongs and could run for your life if you needed to! I am more mid-120s than low 120s honestly and for some reason it makes a huge difference - trying to stay sane about it and telling myself it'll resolve itself...

Turbo Saw your weigh-in, NICE! You're getting in amazing shape! Remember when you were just getting back into running and felt so bad about it? That TLC show sounds awesome, is it like "Strange Sex" or whatever where it's just a freak show parade? LOL that your BF hates spaghetti squash for not being spaghetti.

Maddie Mmmmm that squash looks great! I'm glad you are enjoying real food and stuff, you get to eat MORE if you eat real food vs chais right?

Alexis Agh muffins and bagels! Bagels with cream cheese caused my epic weight regain in college and got my dad from a fit 170 to 230+ and obese...no one can say "I'll just have a little" to those! Hope you're feeling all right and aren't sick any more!

nightbugs International move cured my binging problem - that's so exciting! I think a major life change will reset your current lifestyle!

JessicaB 1200 is LOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW for any active adult I feel - how are you doing?

Turbo You are doing awesome! I really admire you and Krampus, because you both seem to do moderation so well. I think a shift in focus to follow more in your footsteps will do me well.

I saw the preview for the mermaid man too, looks interesting.

Alexis I always assumed a bagel was a better choice than a muffin, because a muffin is just like cake IMO. But I suppose it probably depends on the muffin or the bagel, and if you are putting anything on it. I generally try to avoid both anyways, but I did have a muffin for breakfast this morning.

Maddie The spaghetti squash looks delicious. I regularly have spaghetti squash with meatballs, in lieu of actual spaghetti, but that recipe looks really good too.

olehcat I think the reason you'll find that 1200 calories is mentioned a lot on weight loss forums is because there is a ton of info out there suggesting that you not go any lower than 1200 calories a day. I guess a lot of people choose it (myself included) because they want results as fast as possible. I guess maybe it's not a ton of food, but I generally find myself that the hardest part of a 1200 calorie diet is the first week, and after that the hunger levels seem to adjust. I guess for me, I'm just no longer motivated enough to stick to 1200 calories, and have been struggling for so long that I would have made goal a long time ago if I had just tried to aim for maybe 1500 calories or so (assuming that would have curbed the binging behaviors).

krampus I'm still struggling to get back on track, and with my first Easter dinner tomorrow and then another one on Sunday, I'm not anticipating making any progress for a few days. I also gave myself the week off of exercise, because I've just been so exhausted in the mornings. I suppose I'm taking a bit of a mental break, but boy does my timing suck. A couple weeks ago, I had $125 in the bag, and now I'll be lucky if I take 3rd and get $50. Normally money is enough to motivate me, but I guess I somehow feel like it won't make a difference to me personally, and so I haven't been caring about it. I was planning on spending the money on a pricey dog bed, but honestly the dog needs a bed either way, so it's not entirely motivational for me. My husband tends to complain when I spend money on the dog, so I figured if I spent my own prize money, he couldn't say anything... but really, he has no right to complain, dogs do cost money, and he knows this. I don't know if maybe that's why the money hasn't been motivating me. The silly man made a stupid remark yesterday when he saw a $25 receipt for a dog license. I just said, you know, your legally required to license dogs, so I don't know why you're making a big stink out of it. We spend barely any money on the dog, because one of his friend's girlfriends works at a guide dog place, and whenever they have puppy food that is close to expiration, she gives it to us. We literally haven't bought any food for him. Anyways, I'm getting off on quite the tangent here, and I guess my point is because I'm not really making any progress competition wise, my plan is to concentrate on a more reasonable calorie deficit following Easter. There's no reason I can't be happy losing only one pound a week instead of the two I am used to and I really feel like that should solve my problems.

thank you for your welcome, Ladies! I am still here. struggling to go away from 138.
Completed IF yesterday. I plan to have IF once a week. hopefully it will speed up my weight loss a little.

Krampus ~ Dang, but your night sounds busy! What do you play at your open mic? (apologies if you've answered before... violin or something more mainstream?) Bagels are the devil, full stop. But they are just so darn GOOD up here! I'm on the mend, but still annoyingly exhausted all the time. I'm not sleeping well, which is probably down to a worn out mattress, so that doesn't help either. Ah, well. Per your signature: "Push on", I suppose.

JessB ~ lol - bagel vs muffin war. Here in NJ, bagels are HUGE (and fantastic) but easily twice the size of a bagel in any other part of the world. Even without anything on them, they can top out at close to 600+ cals. If a muffin is "only" 400, then the muffin is a slightly better choice.

Turbo ~ awww, too bad about bf's injury. Is he feeling better? And re: the squash. Maybe you can tell the bf that it's "Summer squash" and it's supposed to taste like "summer", not pasta... (;) ) Oh, TLC and their crazy shows... I can't watch the "extreme people" that much because it weirds me out, but I'm ridiculously excited for the return of Breaking Amish (season 2)

Olehcat ~ Boy, do I ever hear you on the weight woes. I second Krampus's comment that you're hardly "overweight" at 140, but I know that feeling of just wanting to be better. I feel like most of my trouble is down to sloppy living and psyching myself out.
Have you been down to your ideal weight? How long were you able to maintain there? My goal is around the mid to low 130s and I was down there for about a week back in 2007. It felt fantaaaastic, but wasn't sustainable because I didn't get there the healthy way.

Princess Sophia ~ Congrats on finishing a day of IF! Man, that can be tough. Good on ya for sticking with your plan!


~~~~
It has been bumpy out here... gurrrr.
The madre brought home goodies left over from an exam she proctored last night, so I had a good old eatfest. (pita chips, triscuits, crap store bought bagels, life cereal + pizza)

Am trying to dry out today, but I just went to the bathroom and feel like for some strange reason, I just got MORE bloated instead of less. GROSS!!!

Have a hanging out with friends night tonight, then hoping to take a community yoga class tomorrow. NEED to get back into yoga classes, as those help me tremendously, mind AND body.

Olehcat : Glad to hear you've been feeling better with your mind since you've put the scale away. Concerning your struggles about wanting to lose weight but not sure that you are ready to make the sacrifices, maybe you could focus on maintaining for now, until you figured out what you want to do?

krampus : JESUS you are running FAST. I NEVER ran a fast 5k like that. And yes I think that it is another Freak Show Parade just like TLC can put together LOL (I really want to watch the Guy Mermaid though bwahaha)

Jessica : Sorry about your weight loss competition struggle... But 50$ is still not bad (how much money did you have to put in at first?). I red about what you were saying to Krampus about your husband acting all weird about the money you had to put on the dog... I totally get you, my boyfriend has been acting chep lately, but on ''we don't have the CHOICE'' stuff (like paying our taxes... yes, I know that sucks, do we need to complain about it for 2 weeks? NO lols)

PrincessSophia : Good luck with the IF strategy!

Alexis : I'll try the term Summer Squash...! ... no but seriously, it is a SQUASH, I thought he was messing with me when he was bombed out that it did not taste like pasta. Oh, pita chips! I discovered them 2 months ago and I was hooked on them, they are so good. Hope you'll have fun at yoga! :)

***

133.8 this morning, really happy about the number. Hit the gym this morning, did a killing Hiking Machine/Elliptical thing, 20 minutes of cycling and a good arms weight lifting program that left my arms shaking. I think I hit the point that week where I was pushing the limits with the weight lifting in terms of arms, I almost dropped a 20 lbs dumbbell in my face when I was doing some Chesspress LOL (hopefully it did not happened :P)

I am getting a bit nervous, because starting tomorrow, I will get in a intense 6 days festival of opportunities of overeating, which is the first time something is happening since Christmas.

- Tomorrow : dining out with 2 friends in a resto where I can get something fairly healthy, but it is also a bring your own wine. At least I'll be driving so I'll just try to sip through the evening.

- Sunday-Monday : We are going to the in-laws chalet, dining and breakfast eating there. It is Easter weekend, so I'm not expecting granola and 0% yogurt and fruits.

- Wednesday : It is the boyfriend birthday. We are eating at home but he gets to pick ANYTHING he wants for dinner.

I can manage one night out without any problem. 4 times in 6 days? I'm nervous just thinking about it.

but YAY it is Thursday and the boyfriend is not working tomorrow. I'm planning to work on my redaction contract while watching an Harry Potter movies marathon with the boyfriend lol (ya know, BUSY OCCCUPATION).

Take care Feathers!

p.s. Has anyone got news from JossFit?

Turbo ~ Man, that does sound like a lot of eating! Interesting you draw the parallel between now and Christmas, because after Christmas, weren't you up a bit, too? But NOW look at you: even lower than before you started the holidays. You've been smart and sensible through this whole losing journey and odds are, you're going continue to make smart but satisfying food/exercise choices in the future.

~~

Lots of emotional eating going on last night. Spent time with a group of friends and it was fantastic, but I just left with so many emotions and I didn't know how to handle them. In the cold light of day, I can see now that a good option would have been for me to go home and scribble about it in rainbow colored sharpie pens. What I actually did was eat a bag of kettle chips and a box of Life cereal. Ugh.


I read this quote yesterday and it really helped me:
"There are no failures, only slow successes."

To paraphrase Beckett: Try again. Fail. Fail better.

Happy Good Friday, to those that celebrate.

TGIF Feathers!

I'm the only person in my whole office building today so I'm blasting awful music (currently playing: "Bad Boys" by Inner Circle). It's a beautiful day out and I am strongly considering the possibility of taking a long walk at lunchtime. I ate like a king yesterday and am down 1.2 pounds overnight. Had a nice long session at the gym after work yesterday. I'm seeing a lot of improvement in my pullups and dips - took more pounds of resistance off the Gravitron machine. I also added weight to all my leg stuff and 5 lb to bench press.

Open mic didn't end up happening as our third band member had to stay late at work (Legislature was in session until late, budget season) and my roommate and I were honestly sort of relieved to have an evening to ourselves. I did jack sh!t after the gym - cooked dinner for 2 and ended up eating all the meat myself (salmon) - whoops!

Tonight is my friend's karaoke birthday party and a going away sendoff for another friend. My goal is to not get too drunk to drive at karaoke, so that means I can have one drink and then wait like two hours. Hah. I'm planning on celebrating Easter with my parents - coloring eggs, going to the movies, eating, the usual. My mom still gives me the same Easter basket I've had since I was a tiny tot filled with the exact same candy - jelly beans, Cadbury creme eggs, Russell Stover chocolate (-___-). This year I've been asked to bring dessert and I have no idea what to do but I'll have a lot of free time so I'll peruse recipes online.

Good Friday today - always reminds me of that village in the Philippines where the men actually self-flagellate until bloody and a few get nailed to crosses. I like their style.

Alexis Sorry to hear last night was a rough one - Life cereal isn't even good so you know it's emotional eating. I have had such fun times with friends where I leave feeling emotionally overwhelmed and binge to drown it out. I play violin and melodica and if I could multitask I would want to sing too.

Turbo You are going to be OK. I hate when events come up in the middle of a really inspired/motivated losing streak - but you are going to bounce back just fine and continue along the path of improvement you've been on! :D I haven't heard from Joss - I hope she is doing well...

PrincessSophia IF is the best thing that has ever happened - I do it daily.

JessicaB Your husband is being really weird about your dog. Is he jealous of it or something? What a strange thing to pinch pennies about - assuming you guys aren't like, starving to death or destitute. Losing 1 pound a week is still a very steady rate of loss - I hope finding a more moderate approach will solve a lot of the binging problems you are having.

Awww, Krampus. I enjoy Life cereal. It's like sweet shredded cardboard. What's not to love? :P And I've heard about those crazy Catholics in the Philippines, too. Go big or go home, I guess. That Easter basket sounds yummalicious. All that candy brings back good memories of being a kid.

My weekend plans are pretty sedate:
Good Friday service tonight + girl time with some friends from last night. Hopefully less emotionally charged.

Saturday I'm hoping to get in a yoga class, some "spring cleaning" and possibly a meet up with a guy I met online. He mentioned going up to the Poconos to his mother's cabin and he'd have to drive back for us to meet up, so I'm not heartbroken

Sunday = church @ 10,then vegging for the rest of the day.
I'm mostly in charge of cooking for special occasions. This year, I'm trying a crockpot breakfast casserole with hash browns, eggs, cheese, and sausage. Going to put it on before leaving for church and hopefully it will be ready by the time we get back. Making a turkey for lunch/dinner, along with sweet potatoes and some kind of spinach salad. Keeping it pretty low key this year. I was torn about what to make for dessert, since I'm trying to limit my sugar intake. I wanted to try a summer pudding (bread in a mold with berries poured through) but my mom's more a fan of angel food cake so I may try the "sparkle cake" (angel food with berries in the middle) which sounds very similar. Deviled eggs, probably, for tradition's sake.

Alexis : The parallel between Christmas and the next few days were also stricking me, and I think this is why I was so nervous because yes, I was so up when I got back from the Holidays (although I don't think it was ONLY the results of the Holidays, I had stop training after getting hurt and stuff). Thank for your nice words, I guess we kinda believe more on each other willpower than ours, around here! :)

Sorry you felt all confused with your emotions after your night out. I love the quote you posted, it is a good way to paraphrase that this bag of chip and this box of cereal did not get the best of you. We all fall, but the cool thing is that we actually get up too :)

krampus : Nice choice of song!! That is some great improvment on the weight! I so look up to you for that. One day I'll be strong too ;) Aww, I do love the fact that your mom gets you the same Easter basket every year since you were young. My mom used to do the same and I dearly miss it.

***

And the long overbooked weekend is upon uuuus (yay)

133.2 this morning, which makes it a 2.6 pounds loss for the last 7 days. That is a bit big in my own taste, but I had got up from 0.8 pounds just before my official weekly WI last week. Anyways I'm gonna eat more and most of all eat things I'm not eating usually in the next days, so I'll definitely go up a bit... so not stressing too much.

Since I was born, my family always respected the Good Friday thing of not eating meat (it was more a tradition than anything, I was never forced to go to church and was only going for special occasions and holidays). We were just big on traditions... so today, I am not eating meat and everybody is making fun of meeeeee because of that. I don't really care about upsetting God or anything, but I can just picture SO WELL my mom's face in my head, looking at me with THOSE eyes that I just make the effort of not eating any meat today.

I just texted my brother about it and he was like ''SH*T just ate a grilled TBone. OOPS'' Fail, bro, fail :P

Have a good day ladies!

Happy day before Easter! Last night I went out drinking and came home and ate chips and junk - whoops. Weighed in at 124.8 nonetheless (food was light during the day), woke up at 10:30 and my roommate and I walked to the farmer's market to buy apples and eggs - I'm going to make "healthy" aka less sugar apple crisp for my family's Easter dinner.

Yesterday I took a progress picture - NSFW underwear - as I continue to improve at pullups and dips and perhaps pursue climbing as a hobby I hope my back will get SUPER.

The weather today is beautiful - I think I'd really be missing out if I didn't go for a run outside at some point and take advantage of it. :D

Turbo I hope all your Easter celebrations and meals will go well and not be a sad time of year because of memories of your mom. <3 It's really nice to uphold family traditions like that - my mom is big on remembering her mother and doing some things she always did.

Hey feathers!

Been a busy weekend, but I'm still around. Getting ready to dye Easter eggs with my girl! Just sitting over here maintaining, but now I'm going to bust it a bit & try to get down 3-5lbs before the cruise in 3 weeks! Just a little extra padding for when I eat like a beast on the cruise :)

Happy Easter weekend, girls!

P.S. Krampus - I want your butt! Dang, girl!

YESSSSSS just ran 7 miles on the bike path in 62 min 28 seconds. My left knee was bothering me a bit toward the end but otherwise I feel fine - not exhausted or winded or anything. I even sang in the car driving back from the path! Off now to hang with my mom.

Maddie Haha thanks - honestly it looks like a dimply saggy mess if my legs are together T__T Have fun coloring eggs! I'm doing that with my mommy tomorrow :D

Good afternoon, feathers!

I hope you all are having a very good weekend! I ate a bunch of pizza today. *clutches tummy and groans*

@Krampus - I've sort-of, kind-of weighed. Like I took a very quick glance a few days ago, haha. Okay, so yeah, I did weigh once since break and I am exactly the same as I was just before break. Which is kind of cool since I really did go over the top (for me) over the break. I basically ate whatever I wanted when I wanted. Although I did listen to my body and when I didn't feel like eating, I didn't eat. So I've learned something important. If left to my own devices, I still eat and drink too much to be as slender as I want to be. I do need to learn to make some sacrifices here (maybe be super strict during the week but let loose more on the weekend). Also, I confirmed to myself how much I love wine and if I do let myself to my own devices, I actually rarely drink more than 2 glasses. More than 2 glasses and that's when I feel icky and dehydrated and get a bit too much of a buzz. So out of curiosity, krampus, how did your international move cure your binging?
AND lol on Inner Circle songs! Oh, good memories for me! :D Excellent choice! And holy crap, girl, you are a FAST runner! I'd be lucky to finish a 10K in 62 minutes. Right now, definitely not. Wowee!

@Jessica - thanks for the info on 1200 calories. I just see so much contradiction of information out there. Some people say NOoooo, 1200 is way too low, especially if you exercise while others have had great success at 1200 and others have said 1200 is absolutely ALL they can eat because they are short and older and not as active. Then still others claim later that eating as low as 1200 messed up their metabolisms or made them stall out with weight loss (and that's what scares me most, I think, that there could be a point that you would just stop losing and you can't go under 1200...also, I love food! 1200 would be very difficult as a life time number). Such a shame that your hubby is being silly about the dog. Yes, pets do cost money! I don't begrudge a penny I spend on my cats, they're my babies. :)

@Princesssophie - hope the IF is going well for you!

@Alex - aww..you're sweet to say that. I know I'm not super overweight, just a few pounds over the healthy BMI, but it bothers me because I feel it like a tire around my middle. I was down to my ideal weight once as an adult. I was living overseas and my lifestyle was completely different. I walked EVERYWHERE and was extremely active, but I didn't diet at ALL. I ate whatever and however much I wanted at all times. I gained weight as soon as I came back to the States and became more sedentary and then got married and got even more sedentary and went out to eat too much. Then I got down to/close to my ideal weight about 9 years ago and stayed near it for about three years. Got there by mostly eating lower carb and good, old fashioned stress. Also I never drank back then. Or rarely. *sigh* stupid wine addiction! Hope your yoga class helped you feel a bit better!

@Turbo - yep, that's what I've been doing. Just sort of maintaining and considering what to do. I've decided that I really DO want to get down to my ideal weight. I think it would feel so much better and I would look WAY better. Also, in general, I know that I am not feeling that healthy lately. And I feel so bulky. So I am going to wait until after tomorrow (some big family dinner stuff happening this weekend) and start April off right. I have bought a bunch of healthy food (lots and lots of veggies, some fruit, and some mostly lean meat and a little bit of fatty meat, too). And 133.8!!?? That's fantastic! What have you been eating like lately?

@Maddie - have fun doing the easter dye thingie with your girl! I got to do a bit of that with my nieces yesterday. Was fun!

krampus : OMG the upper part of your back!! I'm jealous! Woah that is an awesome run! You really do have a killer cardio! Have fun coloring eggs! :)

Maddie : You can so manage a loss like that before your cruise! Where exactly are you heading? :)

olehcat : I do agree with you, starting all new and fresh on the eve of a huge family dinner is probably not the best idea ;) What I have been eating lately... For lunch, wraps or soups, lean protein for dinners, lot of veggie and fruits and I cut a lot on the side dish of pasta... I still end up around 1600 cal every day, but I did increase a lot on the training side. This equation seems to be working fine with me right now :)

***

I was up 135.8 this morning after 2 days without poop and dining out with friends last night. I did very good until we went to a little café to get coffee and dessert, where I burst my calories budget but this amazing maple/chocolat sundae. But to be quite honest, TOTALLY WORTH IIIIIT.

I woke up early this morning and headed out for my long run training. The weather was so nice and my cardio was great, even if my legs were heavy by the end (thanx to my decision of ''oh let's try this street, I have no idea where it is leading'' - answer : it is leading on a freaking long HILL)

Went to see my goddaugther this afternoon and we got take out food on our way back, I was starving and had no interest in cooking something so I went and got the asian salad I love at McDo while the boyfriend got a foot-long at Subway.

We are heading for the in-laws chalet tomorrow afternoon for...we don't know what kind of dinner/night to expect. We are a bit tired, I hope we'll get to just relax in cute nature sight over there.

Happy Easter ladies!

Happy Easter, feather friends!

Krampus ~ Love the pose with the hobbit fellows. Perfect set up. They're clearly in awe of your guns, too. ;)

Turbo ~ I think it's touching that you still observe the "no meat on good friday" tradition. As a church-goer, I can appreciate this. ;) Hope you're enjoying the chalet!

Maddie ~ Cruise sounds like a TON of fun!!! Is it just you and the hubs or are you taking the kiddos, too? (was it for an anniversary? Am I remembering that right?)

Olehcat ~ The yoga class was awesome, tx for asking! And you can totally get back to your gw, girl. What is it about the wine? Do you think it adds the calories or does it make you just go "F*** it! to healthy eating?

~~~~
So glad I managed to make the yoga class on Fri The teacher remembered me even though I hadn't been to class in close to a year. She's such a fantastic teacher, too. Very calming and relaxing in her method.

Yesterday was errands and running around + Easter vigil mass (2+ hours long - I feel like those Catholics really want to jam it all in for the people who only come on Christmas and Easter...) It brings back memories, even though I'm not Catholic I went to a Catholic grammer school and it just makes me feel connected to that tradition to return on Easter.

Went to an Episcopal church this morning and then came home and completely "overindulged" on food. Did breakfast casserole, deviled eggs, stuffed biscuits, turkey, spinach/squash salad, sweet potatoes, and a sparkle cake. UGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!

Good news is that we have leftovers for miles, so hopefully won't have to do much cooking this week. Have a busy few days comin' up, too. Candidate coming into the office and a board meeting tomorrow, Orch on Tue and Wed, Thursday off, Rehearsal on Friday, and planning meeting on Saturday. Yoinks. Suit up and show up, so they say...

Hope everyone is enjoying the end of the weekend!