Joss I like your idea of a superpower. I always thought teleportation would be the best super power to have, so I could see the world really easily. But that one is really tempting too!

I remember you talking about mixing SF pudding into things before and I've wanted to try it. But I never seem to be able to find SF pudding mix in the stores. I don't know if it's just not available in Canada or what, but I can find SF Jello, and I can find SF pudding cups, but not SF pudding mix.

The roller derby info session went okay. My main concern is really the time commitment and if I can fit it in along with being a mom, because once I really get into it, I'd probably be practicing at least 3 times a week for 2 hours at a time. But I think the practices are often later at night, so might align okay with when my daughter is sleeping. I talked to my husband about it though, and he basically said I could do it if I find a babysitter, because his job is such that he never knows when he'll be finishing work, and could potentially be gone overnight occasionally (he's a truck driver). At the very least though, the training sessions are 2 hours once a week on Sundays, so we should be able to make that work. I think I'll go ahead with the training, because it's 10 weeks for $100, which is pretty reasonable, and should be fun. The main cost will be buying all the helmet, knee & elbow pads, wrist guards, and a mouth guard though. That will really add up. I already have roller skates from about 7 years ago, when I almost started doing roller derby around the time they were starting a league in Toronto. I think I only went to one or 2 practices though, because then I decided to move back to the city where I grew up, and it was just too far to go. Now all the smaller cities seem to have roller derby leagues set up, and since my daughter is a bit more independent now, I'd really like to give it a go. Truth be told, I am a bit nervous about the injuries, but I don't feel like that's enough of a reason to stop me at this point. I actually did fracture my wrist roller skating 7 years ago though, so it does make me nervous, but I wasn't wearing a wrist guard or anything, and didn't know anything about how to fall properly.

Turbo Our puppy is a Great Dane, so he will be huge. Here's a picture of him and my daughter shortly after we first got him. He's probably at least doubled in size since then.

http://sphotos-f.ak.fbcdn.net/hphoto...26691971_n.jpg

I'm sure you'll get back in the swing of things with the running soon, and do great with your half marathon. The idea of a half marathon seems so intimidating to me, so I definitely admire you for that!

olehcat Glad to hear the cats got the mouse. I wrote a bit to Joss about the roller derby stuff, so you can see above. As for having a social life in weight loss mode, I never really figured that one out. I've never been really social to begin with, but we usually have at least one family event a month that ends up being a major food temptation for me. I've just learned to accept that on those days I'm not going to eat according to plan, and I don't fight it anymore. In the beginning, I was much better with my will power, so in the early stages of weight loss, I did abstain from poor food choices at family events, but since being a feather, I just allow myself to enjoy it, and it takes a bit of stress off of myself dreading how to deal with it. It may not be the best advice though, because I haven't ever made it to my goal. But truth be told, that's not from the 1 or 2 events that happen per month, but poor eating choices outside of that.

aidan I'm definitely anxious for spring to come along as well, I think we all would like to be able to get some outdoor activities into our schedule.

Bayzee Glad to hear that the heavy lifting is starting to show some good results for you already.

LOL, there is no whoosh coming my way... it's not water weight, it's my own fault for eating like 10,000 extra calories last Monday and Tuesday.

Aiden - Stale workouts are no fun at all! I have to switch things up all the time too or I get bored... with the exception of the program I was just doing for the last 6 weeks, I never do the same workout twice!

Teleportation would be my second choice, no question about it (and yes, I've thought of that too!) I would LOVE to just see my husband whenever, or be able to go 'deploy' overseas for the day and then teleport home! Ah, and think how much I would save on plane tickets, cab rides, gas... that would be amazing!

I ALWAYS forget some of you ladies are in Canada! I bet even using one of those 60 calorie SF pudding cups would be perfect. Just use 1/2 and save 1/2 for the next day. :)

It sounds like starting out with the training sessions is the way to go, and you can take it from there as your schedule allows. I don't imagine the gear would be TOO terribly expensive, save for maybe new skates? I view those things as an investment in your health so it's usually worth it to me, but even then you don't have to buy it new. Is there a second-hand sports store anywhere in your area?

Turbo - at least you did it! It wasn't your personal best, but you aren't supposed to be amazing right out of the gate. Just get back on that horse girl.
As for the rabbits turds...I have had the same issues since I got pregnant with my daughter 2 1/2 years ago. It'll get so bad that I have to take a lax just to stop the excruciating pain. I've been taking stool softeners for about 5 days now, & have gone everyday. I thought I'd be more regular with all the fruits & veggies I'm eating, but it's just not the case...OMG. I have to poop! BRB! Ok, all better. Maybe try taking a stool softener & see if you can't get regular again :)

Olehcat - Right now, I'm the di ck who doesn't get anything. I have a photographer friend that I see once a week at McDonald's or Chick-Fil-A for a play date with our kiddos & I get a Diet Dr Pepper every time. She never says anything about. Other people say things. My best friend (who has always been skinny & has the metabolism of a teenage boy) gives me lots of shtick for it & it drives me nuts. You just have to make choices. The other night, I went out & ate all of those apps, had a beer, & then had dessert. But it's one night every like 2 weeks. When I was heavier, I'd have a cheat day once a week & I still lost consistently 2-3lbs a week. And yes, I counted calories from day 1! From about 215-170, I ate about 1700. Then from 170-155, about 1500. From 150-138 about 1400. Now, I'm having to eat about 1250 to drop, but I'm having good drops now that I altered. Calories in, calories out was the only thing that worked for me. Low carbing never did a thing. I'd gain, if anything. And I WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN THAT GOES IN MY MOUTH << That's what she said!

Jessica - Welcome back!!

Joss - I think it's new battery time. That sounds fishy.

Bayzee - That's awesome! With my knee so tweaked out, I have to be extra careful when I lift weights, but I agree - that's where the change happens. And I have always HATED cardio. I would rather lift weights than anything. Plus, I see results much more rapidly when I lift more.

Another nice drop for me today! Down to 134.0! I cut my calories by 150 the last couple of days, & it was clearly the barrier that I was hitting. My question now is this: 132 is my goal, but how do I maintain that weight? If I eat 1500 calories, the scale bumps up. Isn't maintenance supposed to be around 1800 a day? I'm really confused about how this is supposed to work.

I was able to do part of my Pilates video last night - had to skip all leg work that made me bend & bear weight on my legs, but I can do the rest of it just fine. Felt good to do it again. :)

Hope you're all having great Tuesdays! Off to Mickey Donald's, as my daughter calls it, for a tasty Diet Dr Pepper while everyone else eats fries :)

LMAO! haha thanks for that!

It does seem a bit out of the ordinary, but I just changed the batteries 6 weeks ago and before that they lasted for about 4 years so I don't think they've run down. It just is what it is. :(

Saw that... awesome!

Well it's going to because more food probably equals a few more carbs. Ig of carbohydrate holds 3g of water, so even though your fat/muscle mass doesn't increase, the scale will go up just because of the water. The only way to get around that would be to cut down on carbs specifically... if the only benefit is on the scale and doesn't actually effect the way you look, is it worth it?


Thats great that you were able to do some exercise! Have fun with the kiddos. I too just order a diet soda or water sometimes. Gotta do what you gotta do! (I've even been known to bring my own meals/snacks to eat!)


*** can you guys tell I'm super busy at work today? LOL don't judge me. :D

Joss - HA! You are definitely not busy today! But I did appreciate the play by play from my post!

Also, I just went over to the super boring maintenance board & read through what people have to do to maintain & I was intrigued by the responses. A lot of them said they have to stay pretty low cal to maintain, some even said 1200. One lady said 1050 but she's dumb. I'll just have to find the sweet spot for me, but it's doable. It's important to me, so I'll figure it out. I was maintaining at about 1400, & that's plenty of good food & snacks & my yummy chai tea in the mornings :)

Hi Feathers!

I had a pretty classic "lost weekend," went to outer space/the 1970s and back in and around our huge cabin in the snowy woods, subsisted on gross camping food, and now I'm getting back into the swing of things. Upper Body A last night and Lower Body B this morning - I think I am just going to switch them up to different days at this point so I can stay somewhat closeish to the schedule. 124.6 Friday, yesterday, and this morning. I think it will go down this week.

Last night was the "Taste of New York" reception at the capitol AND "Brooklyn Night" - I met my BF and friends who work for the legislature and we sampled everything from 15+ different kinds of cheese to Long Island duckling on fresh salad, apple pie with ice cream, free Chobani yogurt cups (I snagged the latest addition - pear), honey and maple syrup and pulled pork sandwiches, all kinds of stuff. Brooklyn Night featured Korean mandu (fried dumplings), bialys (Polish Ashkenaz! Jewish bagel-muffin-rolls), pita & hummus, Ikea Swedish meatballs, and other stuff I didn't bother to try because I got full. My whole workout last night I was burping.

MaddieB Maintenance IS pretty boring when you think about it. Most of the posters on the Maintainers subforum are 40+ so they just can't eat as much as we can being in our 20s - and I think the "dumb" lady who eats 1050 is 60+ and really short and formerly super obese. I maintain 122-125 eating probably 1800-2000 a day but prior to lifting weights I definitely couldn't have done that. The spike in scale weight is probably water weight from carbs like Joss said. What do you normally eat? Also SWEET DRESSES. :D

JessicaB OMG that puppy is so cute!!! The training sounds like a good idea, if you can afford the equipment maybe you can afford the time - or maybe not - but once your daughter is older you can probably take more time for practice down the road.

Bayzee Sorry the scale is being a pain in the butt. I'm really glad your recomp is going well though - lifting weights is SO EASY compared to doing tons of time with cardio and other stuff.

Aidangm Snowstorm? ewww. I am SICK of winter too - doing stuff outside feels like a faint memory. I'm all PMS-y and short-tempered so I'm sure I'll be joining you on the rag train soon.

JossFit I love the photos you posted - your hair looks lovely! For some reason I'd imagined it being darker but that must have been color effects on your old avatar. Sorry to hear your neck is feeling weird and the scale is still up. I wonder what the deal is with that?

olehcat Yesssssss whoosh. Glad the mouse is history - cats are so great to have around! As for having a social life, I haven't successfully LOST WEIGHT since the summer really aside from getting sick, so I dunno. I know it's all about picking and choosing - I eat wings and ice cream and stuff regularly but I also eat the same exact lunch day after day. What are your friends' eating and drinking habits like?

TurboMammoth Sorry to hear you had such a bad run - I won't even go near the path if it's raining or icy, so you win at determination and resolve. Sometimes crappy runs just happen for no reason, even if you've fueled properly and slept like a baby and been training. The next one will be better! Better luck pooping next time!

Alex At least you KNOW the culprit (dairy) - can you handle Greek yogurt and hard cheeses? 5 miles two days in a row is pretty fantastic mileage, and Irish soda bread is crack. What running sneakers do you use? I have these New Balances and I LOVE them.

((((Joss, Turbo, Krampus, Olehcat, Maddie, JessicaB, Bayzee, Aiden)))))

Sorry no personals today, guys. Suuuuuper tired. Finally managed to wake up early enough to get in a workout before work. Trouble is, I'm a night owl too, so I went to bed around 2AM and woke up at 5:56AM. Totally worth it, but I'm smashed at work right now. Feel like a zombie with all my guts sucked out.

Already clocked in 6/20 miles for the week, so that's a plus.

Wondering whether or not I can nip out to grab a Subway. Krampus, I thought of you a few weeks ago when I ate an entire veggie footlong. You were talking about "stress eating" a foot long and I'm thinking, man, that is a healthy lunch option for me. It clocks in at 460 cals, so it's not too terrible and gosh darn if the veggies don't make me happy.

And Joss + Krampus re the hard cheeses - they probably wouldn't bother me as much, but really, go Brie or go home. I just have to plan to eat it over the weekend and well before I have to be out in public anywhere, as it takes a good 24 hours to clear my system. Not sure about the yogurt. Haven't challenged it yet, but I'm suspecting it won't be as much trouble.

Secret is out, I still lurk!

Just wanted to pop in and say I've been maintaining on 2000-2500 cals a day depending on the intensity of my workouts!

olehcat : How is your training going? :) that is so cool to have someone training at the same time lol I feel less FOREVER ALONE. Last year I did a training that was suppose to get me between 2h15-2h30.. now I am trying the 2h00-2h15 training program, but that is gonna be hard.. the running pace are significantly faster :S

Joss : I'll have to look for the stores you are mentioning for the Quest bars, but neither of them rings a bell to me just like that. The boyfriend and I tried to order the bars online but for an order of 30$, the shipping was something like... 30$. H*ll no LOL

Yay for your weight back down to 129! I hope you'll be able to squeeze in a massage appointment, neck pains suck so much!

Aidan : I hope the bloat will go away soon!

Bayzee : I did a really quick research for the Quest Bars and I found the website Vitamart.ca who is selling them (only a few flavor though, and some of them are out of stock right now) and they have a free shipping policy for an order above 49$ (which is better than the out of the range shipping price of the official quest bar website)

Jessica : Your daughter and the puppy are so cute :) She must be thrilled to have this little thing to play with!!

Maddie : Maintaining is such a blurry world to me. I'm with Joss though, maybe the upper calories intake will cause a bump on the scale but will eventually go off, after the body gets used to it?

''One lady said 1050 but she's dumb.'' BWHAHAHAHA. Seriously, maintaining at 1050, she must be 4'2'' or something..

Hope you enjoyed your Dr Pepper ;)

krampus : It looks like you had a great time this weekend! and to come back and still be under 125, that rocks! Woah, all the food you described sounds delicious.

I heard so much good about those chobani yogurt, I did not find them yet in the groceries around here ARHG. Their flavours looks so amazing.

Alexis : You're already at 6/20 mi, that is awesome! Get some good rest tonight!!

Lockitup : Hi! ;)

***

Still 140 this morning. I'd be happier back to 139, but as long as it does continu to go up, I'm not panicking... yet :P

I am heading to the gym in a few minutes to get an hour of cardio done and some weight training. I'm feeling kinda sluggish today, we'll see how it goes. Because I ran yesterday, I might swap the threadmill for some elliptical (*snoring*)

Have a good day! :)

I've been home since noon & I want to eat everything in sight!!! I'm slamming water to make myself feel fuller, but I still want to EAT!! I'm going to have a bowl of oatmeal with apples at 7pm, but the minutes seem longer tonight. Grrr!!

Well, I went down again, to 145.6, which is nice, yes, but that's exactly what happened last week, I hovered around the same numbers, blah blah blah. Am not impressed unless there's an actual loss between my low number from last week (145) and tomorrow. The problem is, Saturday I'm invited to this dinner and I have something going on tomorrow evening, too. All of it involves food and wine. I'm going to try SO HARD not to overeat/overdo it, but in a social situation I get so distracted and giddy with just being around people and I just don't think, suddenly I've eaten way too much.

My day yesterday was CRAP, it's a wonder I didn't go to town and binge. Seriously. Long, stressful day at work followed by getting to my 3-hour class in a snowstorm, followed by severe anxiety attack the whole evening about what driving home in the snowstorm was going to be like after dark with more snow accumulation, followed by the actual drive home, which wasn't horrible, but not a picnic either (yes, I'm phobic about driving in snow -- you Canadians can laugh at me! :D). Anyway, when I got home I had a glass of wine and my turkey chili and a half of a brownie. So I'm actually pleased because old me would want at least TWO glasses of wine, something starchy/carby for dinner, and about 2 full brownies! :)

@Jossfit - thank you for your input. Heh, yes, dieting would be way easier for me if I lived in a bubble! I don't have as huge a social life as it may sound like, actually, it's just that I go to my parents' house a lot for dinner at least once on the weekend, I do have a few local friends who LOVE to show off their very good baking/cooking skills with invited dinners, and I am a member of a meet-up group called ladies night out that sometimes has meetups at various local restaurants. And I would offer to cook dinner at my parents' house and I know my mom would like that, but my dad is the pickiest eater on the entire planet and is rude about it. So there is nothing healthy that I like that I could cook that he would enjoy. If I were smart, I'd control at least the restaurant part of it, but it's really hard for me to get a salad at a place that is known for a certain type of food. I'm such a foodie, I guess, which is definitely detrimental to losing weight! Anyway, that's just my frustration about the whole weekend thing. So easy to control my eating during the week or on weekend days I don't have plans.

@Aidanqm - I absolutely hate PMS. I used to get it so horrifically badly I was a monster to be around! We had a bit of a snowstorm here yesterday, too! Hope yours wasn't too bad!

@Bayzee - I'm sure you'll get that whoosh! It may just take a few days of being perfect and working out. Then sometimes, at least for me, the whoosh comes when you're not working out for a few days!

@Jessica - I agree on the jossfit calorie superpower. Oh, man, more than once, I have LONGED to have some pill I could swallow that would render anything I ate that day to "not count" :D. CUTE PUPPY!!!! Hard to believe how HUGE he'll get. Very interesting about the roller derby stuff! I think the idea of injuries scares me, actually, lol. And actually you make a good point about not reaching goal maybe because of other bad choices you make. I complain about these events that I have no control over, but there are other things I do have control over and I don't always clean that up completely, either!

@Maddie - very helpful info!!!! I need to get some of your discipline and determination. I really like how you gave calorie counts for the various weights you were at. Do you count all veggies, too? Everything? Or just the things that would be denser in calories (anything from fruit upward). I feel like I would want to eat as much as I can get away with and drop because I don't want to be one of those people who has to only eat 1200 to maintain. Eep. No fun. I'd rather up my running, I think! ;D Anyway, thanks for that information, it was helpful!

@Krampus - holy crap, your weekend is making me drool with all the food mentioned! And while you're not losing, do you want to? I get the impression you're mostly maintaining, or trying to maintain at that just above 120 point? At any rate, you do a great job of it. Yeah, my lunches are usually pretty much the same every day! A salad with romaine lettuce, other veggies, some protein (like 1 ounce of cheese, some chicken, or a hard-boiled egg), my own homemade dressing, and then a yogurt or piece of fruit for dessert!

@Lockitup - good to know! I'm pretty sure I could get away with maintaining at around 1500-2000, actually, with all my running I do, and I'm older than my 20s! But the times when my weight has crept up, I'm eating a LOT more than 2000.

@Turbo - my training is going GREAT. Granted, I can't wait till this winter goes away so I can do some of it outside, I'm too much of a wimp to try to run outside in snow or ice. :D But I'm able to follow my schedule of when to run what distance just fine, and I feel myself getting in better and better shape! :)

Wednesday is here, which is my last day of work for the week! Yay! I'll do a half day and then start my vacation time. I have to go home and do some laundry, pack, blah blah blah.

I had a good workout today;
superset pull-ups and dips
superset barbell squat clean into overhead squats with jumping knee-ins
5 minute hard run
superset machine tricep presses with machine chest presses
5 minute hard run
superset single arm DB chest presses with dual bent over DB rows
5 minute hard run
superset leg extensions and leg curls
5 minute hard run
superset standing calve raises and scaptions
10 minutes on the elliptical

Hopefully that burned a couple of calories. :D

Just thinking, isn't it nutty that I've been back on plan, eating roughly 1250 calories and working out hard every day and I'm STILL up 3 pounds? My weight was down a tiny bit today at 128.4 pounds, but it was at 125.4 pounds last week before my massive eating fest.
If it were water it would have gone by now. Thats so depressing! I'm going into this vacation to see my husband having basically lost nothing, and the idea of gaining MORE scares the **** out of me. I've never put weight on like that before... normally if I have a huge 'EAT THE WORLD' day I gain a solid pound from it. 2 days = 2 pounds, etc. $hit, am I starting to get old?!

A man at my gym that I've chatted with very briefly before approached me today and said, "Holy crap, I saw you on bodybuilding.com! Um, was that a long time ago?" Ouch. Yeah, it was less than a year ago, and I had actuall lost more weight since the feature photos were taken. I'm up about 12 pounds from this time last year. I do recognize that some of it is muscle, but to be at a comparable level of body fat I would have to be at about 120 pounds, whereas then I was at 116-117. It was motivating to have him mention it, but it also hit me like a ton of bricks that I don't look like I used to, and it's noticeable.

Anyway. Blah.

Olehcat - That's fantastic that your weight is continuing to drop! I'm sure that has to be motivating to see. Fantastic NSV staying on plan and not giving in to stress eating in the evening!

Maddie - Ugh, wanting to EAT like that is the worst! Did you manage to overcome the cravings last night? I find that I don't get evening cravings like most people do, but maybe that's because my days start so early? I find that I get that HUNGER in the early afternoon... generally between 1230-1430 is when it hits and I'm white-knuckling it.

Turbo - Holy crap woman, $30 for shipping on a $30 order?! I do NOT blame you for that one... man, what a rip off.

How did your workout go yesterday? I hope well, even though you were feeling sluggish. I do the same thing as you; If I run one day I switch things up and do some other cardio the next day. I just get so paranoid about overuse injuries!

Alexis - I have a weird thing with Subway; if I go there I'm either going super healthy and getting a salad with lettuce, spinach, banana peppers, chicken or turkey, a few black olives, cucumber, onion, tomato and fat free italian dressing OR I'm getting a huge cheesy saucy fatty sammich of deliciousness with chips. I don't have a middle ground at Subway. If I'm going to eat bread, I'm going to stuff it with all sorts of crap. :D

BTW, I've really been craving a sandwich the past couple of days; a huge fatty one with potato chips on it. Om nom nom nom.

Way to go sticking to your workout resolutions! Did you manage to relax and unwind after your busy day yesterday?

Check-in! Two days in a row? No way. :)

110.5 lb this morning. Still ragging and bloated. Didn't do anything yesterday (other than work) due to the snow storm. Just walked for over 70 minutes but no real cardio or weights. I plan to do a full body lift today and maybe cardio in the evening with my best friend. We'll see how bad the roads are.

I forgot to mention that I work at a gym. Lol. I got to join this morning's bootcamp class in the "Harlem shuffle." I have way too much fun. :carrot:

Joss - You look amazing. You kick our a$$es everyday in being a boss at the gym. So, tell that guy to fud himself. That's a rude a$$ comment. Are you competing in a bodybuilding championship or are you taking everyday to make healthy, good choices for your life & body? If you are at a stalemate, do what I suggested to lovedancelive - switch up your calories for a few days & see what happens. That's usually the fix. But don't get discouraged! You have nothing to be discouraged about.

And no, I did not give in!! And the scale rewarded me! I think it's because AF will be here on Friday, so I'm getting PMS cravings. I ate a sh it ton of carrots in between meals yesterday & drank my weight in water trying to make myself believe I was full. I'm 1lb from my goal, so I'm going to suck up the cravings because seeing 132 is more important than one more anything. But I told my hubby, as soon as I see 132 & my period starts, we're going to Five Guys & I'm stuffing my face with a cheeseburger & fries, dammit!

Aidanqm - I had to Google the Harlem Shuffle the other day. I'm getting old :(

Down again to 133.6!! I danced on the scale! lol! Goal is 132, but I have a curiosity about seeing 129 on that scale for the first time EVER in my life. But I wonder if that's a slippery slope. I don't know that I'd try & maintain that anyway. And I'm worried about my boobs. They are smaller than they once were & I feel like they are getting smaller. Still a D, but a saggy D (thanks to baby girl). I always said I wanted to be a C, but now I'm not so sure...I miss my hooker boobs. :{ BUT 3lbs won't come off my teets, right?

Krampus ~ Your "lost weekend" of eating sounds delightful and you even made it back to check in OK. Thanks for the sneaker rec. I usually just buy my sneakers for cheap at TJ Maxx, but I hope they have some decent ones to choose from.

Joss ~ Usually, I also think bread=bad, but for some reason at Subway when stuffed with veggies, it's fine and doesn't lead to any other cravings. You must be excited with vacation trip to see hubby coming up! So glad that you guys will be getting some time together soon!!!

Olehcat ~ Driving in snow can be stressful at anytime, let alone at night! And not stress overeating to deal with a tough day is definitely a victory.

Maddie ~ Ugh for that feeling of wanting to eat. Glad you were able to hold off though. Look at you, so close to goal!!!

LockitUp ~ Hurray to your de-lurking. Those are fantastic cals for maintenance. Gives me hope.

Jessica ~ Welcome back! What a cute puppy and even better if he/she (?) gets you out of bed in the morning! That roller derby sounds like a great "extracurricular" activity for ya and really, $100 for 10 weeks of sanity doesn't sound too bad at all.

Turbo ~ How'd your workout go? The Running Room locations in the US are either in the midwest or waaaayyyy up north. Even though I love running, fancy sneakers just aren't in the budget right now. My limit is like 40 bucks.

Aiden - Hi!
~~~~

Food has been calming down, interestingly, as my playing season has ramped up. I feel like once I have something else to hold my attention, the food cravings start to calm down. After the mini-debacle of this January (Rule #1 - No matter what, I do not "diet") I feel like I'm finally getting to a place of calm.

In orchestra news, a clarinet player quit, and there was some upheval in the cello section (people leapfrogging to the first stand, other people being demoted, ugh) It's like flipping Days of Our Lives up in here. Lol. Right now, I am amused, mostly because it doesn't really affect me other than making me want to play better. My stand partner was officially named principal, which is great and as it should be (she has senority AND is on the board) but damn if a tiny part of me didn't want to be asked. She's a slightly better player, I just WORK my BEHIND off.

Also got offered a gig with another orchestra that might PAY (magic!) but not sure if it'll work with the schedule. Would be nice just for the possibility, though!

We're expecting some snow tonight and tomorrow. (Tail end of the storm that's in the midwest now...) Tonight is BritSoap night w. momma, so there are usually snacks involved in that also, so double danger.
Trying to make a plan so I don't sit and "eat".

Plan is:
Go for a HARD run after work.
Lots of water
Tea
Pens and paper (helps to have something to keep my hands occupied)

Maddie - I don't think he intended it to be rude, but was just genuinely asking how old the feature was. He seems to be a very nice man in the bit of interaction we've had, and he did go on to say that it was 'very inspirational'. Regardless, it still hit me hard and was pretty apparent that I have let myself go and I'm not the only one who thinks so.
Thank you for the compliment though, I do appreciate it.

Huge congrats on your scale dance of happiness today!! If we're weighing in on it (LOL, get it, weighing in? See what I did there? I'm a comedic genius. ;)) I think that unless you plan to maintain 129 or lower it's best NOT to flirt with it. I can only speak from my own personal experience, but I feel like I looked my absolute best at about 120-122. However, I saw 113 for a bit and hovered around 115 for a while and that has messed with my head a bit. I didn't do it intentionally, but knowing that I have been lower and leaner makes me feel like even shooting for 120 again, EVEN THOUGH I have gained a good bit of muscle, is somehow 'settling' and still not good enough. It's almost like a compromise weight to me.
Did I look good at 113? No. I looked like friggin bobble head! I was so lean that I had no *** anymore and my boobs were disappearing. My face looked gaunt and my whole body looked stringy. I had visible striations on my glutes and hamstrings for heaven's sake! In a bikini or naked I looked fantastic, but in clothing I just looked tiny and swallowed up by my outfits.

I know that's not the level you are aiming for, but I guess I am trying to say that I do think it's a slippery slope. If 132 is your goal, wouldn't you rather stay and live at your best ever awesomest goal weight than diet down to 129 only to maintain a bit higher? In that respect you'll always feel like you've gained and aren't at your best anymore. Well, thats a big assumption that you would feel that way but it's possible.

And yeah, you can lose it from your knockers. :D

Alexis - I don't think that bread = bad, but to me it's a bit indulgent. I love nothing in the world so much as GOOD, hot, crusty french bread with a simple pat of butter on it! (but I digress) I tend to go through phases with my meals and what I like, and occasionally I'll get on a french toast kick and make that fairly often and don't feel bad about it.
For some reason when dining out though, bread just isn't something I even consider when I am looking for healthy options. I LOVE bread, and when I have it I want it loaded with other things I love. :)
Does that make any sense? Probably not. I'm a weirdo.

Anyhoo - Um, AWESOME about the paying orchestra gig! Are you at least considering it? Perhaps the schedule would be okay once you got used to it.

Be careful with that snow! I'm flying out of NC into TX and then onto CO tomorrow so I *should* be alright but I'm really hoping the weather doesn't effect my travel plans! Eeek! I really hope it doens't effect your plans to stick to good food choices and get a run done too. Weather can be a b*tch for that.

Heck, I just looked at the forecast for this weekend in CO and it's supposed to snow Saturday and Sunday. Great. That means inactivity, food temptations out of boredom, and too much time spent indulging in drinks and goodies on the couch with my handsome man! Why can't it be hot and sunny so we can hike and camp?!

Aiden - I can't hardly wait for the days when I work in a gym or am doing something related! I just have to keep my eye on the ball until then, get through school and get a job! LOL

Nice job holding steady with your weight! I know TOM can be a MOFO but you seem to still be doing well! Hopefully you can get your workout and extra cardio done today and feel less icky.

olehcat : Seems like the snow hit you hard yesterday! Are the road a bit better today? And seriously, my boyfriend lived all his life in Canada and still loaaaathes drive in the snow ;) Glad to hear your training is going fine!! :)

Joss : Woah, that is some serious training! I would like to give you some awesome reasons that would explain why you are still up, but I am currently looking for some of those reasons for myself and I'm so lost :( I do understand your feeling.. like, crap, I'm on plan, control the eating, train a lot, and I'm not losing? What is there to understand in this?

But anyways, know that I'm super proud of you girl, after ditching that crazy @ss coach and deciding to do all this in your own healthy way! You'll get there, I'm sure of this :)

Aidan : Harlem Shuffle Bootcamp? It seems fun!!!

Maddie : Down again! Send me some of your magic, girl!!! ''I miss my hooker boobs.'' lol!!! Finding the sweet spot of where to stop and go maintaining is always hard... I think we'll probably be never like 100% totally okay with our bodies, whatever we do lose or not... Maybe try to maintain a few weeks at 132 and than if you still feel like it, go for 129?

Alexis : The workout was really good, thanx for asking! I always thought that there was running room all over the States and that they just got in Canada a few years ago, don't know why! I like your plan of not sitting and eating. Pen and paper is a great idea! At night now, I always write on a little book, planning my next workout and stuff while sipping on a tea... Helps pass the cravings :)

***

Up to 140.6 this morning. My stomach is bloated. WTHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I just keep repeating myself, after I saw the 140 ''okay, it will go away, just do what you gotta do and keep pushing'' but it just keep going in the wrong direction.

It is even more frustrating because I did very good in term of food yesterday. I guess I'm just looking for reasons... Lack of pooping? TOM due in about a week? The bit of salt I added to the orzo last night? Water retention after my workout yesterday? Pffffff.

At least I had a really good workout yesterday. The elleptical was boring (as expected) but I increased most of my weight or repetition in the weights section. I even tried for the first time the assisted chin up machine. I also tried for the first time my squat with a barbell instead of some dumbbell overpress.. I wanted to had more weight to my squat, but I did not want that my arms with the overpress become the limiting factor. I was really intimidated by the barbell squat at first, but it was fun. I started a 20 pounds this week, I'll increase it up next time.

There was also this guy who gave me an advice for the squat, but the poor guy, he wanted to show me how to do my move better, but his arms were so big that he was not able to place his arms correctly. He was like ''yeah sorry, I'm not really flexible...'' DUDE, YOUR BICEPS ARE TOO BIG and your arms can't touch your waist anymore. At least he was nice and did not have a douchy attitude :P

Heading out for a run, have a good day ladies!

Yep, we're in the same place! I just have to tell you the same thing you told me; you're doing it all the right way, so hang in there and it WILL pay off! At least in the meantime you can enjoy all the NSVs you're having at the gym!

Enjoy your run!

Quick drive-by...My weight is down to 113.6 today. Not a big drop, but nice to see nonetheless.
I think this weight gain is completely related to the TOM symptoms of having. I am not suppose to start my period until March 20th...but I STILL have all of the symptoms. This is crazy and hopeffully just ovulating.

Hope everyone is having a great day...will check back later :)

Hi Feathers!

Weight is down to 123.6 but I felt bloated this morning and ate a bunch of ice cream and a cookie last night. TOM will likely arrive soon.

My lower back hurts - sprints this AM were probably not a brilliant idea since the back was tender yesterday. I feel like a complete idiot but I just have trouble keeping good form on deadlifts and squats. Hunnggfff.

My special shipment of sumo oranges (dekopon, hallabong in Japanese and Korean) arrived yesterday and they are GREAT. One of our friends went to the smoked meat/cheese speciality shop and brought back a gigantic block of incredible smoked bleu cheese - I'm going to have grape and smoked bleu cheese salad every single day this week.

Here are a couple photos from cabin weekend - looks very similar to TurboMammoth's!

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphot...00809204_n.jpg

https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphot...64442340_n.jpg

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphot...47650577_n.jpg

Bayzee Ovulation makes my weight whack too. I forget are you on the pill or anything? My cycle is super irregular.

Turbo I'm still too scared to use the barbell for squats! That's awesome that you had such a good workout, and LOL that the guy trying to help you was too bulky to hold the bar properly...I can't imagine being in that situation. There are 34579539834 reasons your weight might be up - don't worry about it if you're eating well and getting stronger! :D Enjoy your run!

Alexistrophic OHHHHH orchestra drama. I do not miss that aspect of playing with a large ensemble. Are there tons of players interdating and taking sides and snarking about how so-and-so should be on the inside of the stand, too? Good news that a profitable gig is a possibility in your future - enjoy Britsoaps and sit on your hands! :P

MaddieB Nice whoosh!

Aidangm Hopefully the snowstorm doesn't ruin your plans for this evening.

JossFit Your workout sounds pretty darn thorough, I'm sure more than just a few calories were burned. Who knows wtf is up with your weight and the scale - perhaps it's a case of sitting pretty for a week and seeing a whoosh? I'm sorry that guy at the gym made you self-conscious - it is rare for very fit people to stay ultra-lean all year round though, isn't it? And from the photos you've posted recently you still look fantastic. Have you noticed your pullups etc improving after going downhill during the trainer weeks?

olehcat Glad you made it home safely in the snowstorm. I hate driving in snow/weather too - I'm especially wary of rainy night driving because I can't see sh!t. Nicely done on having a sensible dinner and not ODing on sweets and wine. To answer your questions I'm maintaining but I like seeing 123.something or lighter. If I magically lose more that's great but I am not focused on it aside from just paying attention.

LockitUp BUSTED you lurker!

http://www.facebook.com/v/654501408008
OH my god, you guys. Lol...... :carrot:
Here's a Harlem Shuffle from the gym I work at. I'm the one in front the black "Pinnacle" sweatshirt, the name of our gym.

*Edit* can anyone actually view this link? I'm not sure how to download FB videos and I don't know the privacy settings on this one!

Bayzee ~ No fun on those hormones... Hopefully it passes soon.

Krampus ~ The orch is mostly working or retired professionals, so I think there tends to be less drama, I just feel like this conducor leaves it in his wake. Sheesh! Great weekend pics, btw. I love how there are instruments in the cabin pic you posted. ;) Although, not gonna lie, that place looks either super relaxing... or like the setting for a good horror flick... Is that just my twisted impression?

Aidan ~ I watched the vid w.o sound (@work) Such a hottie you are! By the way you move, you just seem so comfortable in your body.

Yeah... I know it's all about keeping pushing and everything, but I guess sometimes I feel a LITTLE BIT like this :

http://img856.imageshack.us/img856/3039/pounds.jpg

(like, is this too much to ask!???!!) LOL

@Alex; I'm glad the vid works. I just love silly/fun things like that! Dancing is so much fun. :) At my gym, we try to make exercise fun and creative. Anything to get people smiling and enjoying their workouts!

@Turbo: Loool. Love the e-card.

oh, feathers, my weight is up to 145.8, which does not sound bad at all if you look at Monday's weight, but is .8 of a pound heavier than last Thursday. It could be water stuff, who knows. I had two big poops yesterday during the day, but then I couldn't go this morning again. Last night for dinner I had a VERY light dinner of one of those curry cubes and green beans, but those curry cubes are FILLED with sodium. Only 110 calories, but definitely not good on the sodium front. But I didn't have wine last night and while I baked some brownies for school today, I had like a half of one, that's it. So yesterday was a very good eating day. I did not run. I decided that in the few hours I actually had to myself yesterday that cleaning three days worth of dishes needed to be done. SO I was also hoping that all the workout retention from Sunday would be long gone by now.

Sometimes I get really freaked that I'm destined to stay at this thick weight forever, that my body has just finally betrayed me that this is the best it can do. And not just my body, my mind, that part of me that has way less willpower and discipline than so many of you here. Okay, yes I know I'm being ridiculous, but I'm going to think about what needs to change here in my attitude and exercise. I can't do as much as I want to because of lack of time for the next six weeks, such as work out more, but maybe I can change some major attitudes.

I wish I could figure out how to just eat what I want but in the exact right portions I'd need to lose weight. I have a friend who recently lost twenty pounds just by halving her portions. That is, she didn't live on chicken breasts and steamed vegetables or deprive herself of anything. Now she's really happy with her weight.

Oh, and speaking of chicken breasts, I HATE CHICKEN/TURKEY BREASTS right now. Im sick of them, I can't make them taste good. I have tried so many different ways to cook them, bake them, put them in the crockpot, saute them, etc. They just always end up tasting dry and bland to me unless marinated or cooked in something spectacularly caloric, which would ruin the point of eating chicken breasts, I guess. Ugh, just had to vent about that. I wish I could make them very tender and tasty like they do at restaurants when they have them on salads. I like them there.

@Turbo - that ecard is JUST how I feel right now. UGH. :) And I'm always trying to find logical reasons for the ups and downs in my weight. Maybe there just aren't any..:-p

@Aidanqm - I saw the video! You look very awesome in it! :D What fun that must have been.

@Krampus - I cannot wait until I can get to the point where I'm maintaining. I do realize that maintaining is difficult, sometimes even harder than losing, but da mnit, I want to get there and soon! That is an adorable pic of all of you. Everyone looks so happy.

@Bayzee - hormone related stuff is SO frustrating with weight loss.

@Alex - haha, orchestra drama, the best kind! :) I wonder if you could take up some sort of crafting for watching stuff, like knitting or embroidery. Sometimes knitting helps me because then it's impossible to snack. My downfall is while watching shows I want to sip on wine...;-p Hope you didn't get too much snow!

@Maddie - you're doing GREAT!!!

I'm sorry if I forgot anyone...am sort of flying by this morning! Two more days until the weekend!

Joss : How are you doing this morning? Did you put the scale away already? How was it?

Bayzee : Weird early TOM symptoms.. but I have the same thing right now. Not suppose to get there for a week and I'm already all puffy. Yay for your drop!

krampus : Is your lower back better? Aww, the cabin looks awesome and you seem like a fun group! :) ... and now because of you I am craving blue cheeeeese. I think I'll plan something with it for saturday!

Aidan : Your gym group looks so fun! :) Okay, thursday confession : I still don't get what is supposed to be the Harlem Shake LOL Is that only the song and you dance randomly to it?

Olehcat : Are you only eating chicken/turkey? I would get sick of it too! Pork tenderloin are cool too, without being to fatty or calorie loaded

***

Hi! Down to 139.4 this morning, and I have nooooo idea why. Still waiting for a first poop in days, even with all the coffee I had yesterday. My stomach is still so huge. I'm as lost in explaining this that I was to explain a gain for the last days... oh well.

I'm planning to head to the gym later today, I have a weight workout for arms planned but I'm kinda anxious, my arms are still a bit sore from stuff I did Tuesday. Gonna be painful :P

Have a good day ladies!

Olehcat - I don't recommend this for long term, but I did Lean Cuisines & Smart Ones & dropped 15lbs from mid-August to early November. People want to knock them, but I don't give a sh it. They are perfectly proportioned out, you know exactly what you're eating & how much, & you can't say that it doesn't work. I hit another wall when I hit 139, so I had to switch up my diet, but it clearly worked. I try & help some family members who are morbidly obese to make better choices & get a bulk of the weight off, & a huge portion of the time, they think they are eating less than they are. For me, calorie counting was essential. That way I knew EXACTLY how many calories I was consuming & not just guessing.

Turbo - At least you dropped, even if there's no explanation.

The pre-period bloat has shown it's face. I woke up feeling crampy & cranky. Then the scale bumped me up .4. Bi tch. I have been mad passionately craving Five Guys cheeseburger & fries, & I may just do it today. But then I think that if I stick it for like 3 or 4 more days, I'll have a big whoosh. That's the only good thing about TOM.

Bayzee - I forgot to add that since my 3rd miscarriage in August, my cycles eff me up like crazy. 25-26 day cycles & the scale bumps up with not only TOM but ovulation now too. I was stalled out in February when I was ovulating. Ridic. I don't know if hormones are wonky now, or if there is more of a change because I weigh so much less. No idea. Annoying though.

Olehcat ~ Don't get discouraged! I feel like as I've gotten older, I've also gotten to know my body better.

Turbo ~ Doesn't that weigh in just make you go... Huh? In a good way, though... I've said it before and I'll say it again: we don't control what we weigh. The only things we control are our food, exercise, and rest... Along those lines, well done on those workouts!

Maddie ~ Oh, hormones... Sometimes it's just peachy being a girl, eh? So sorry to hear about the miscarriage. Are you doing OK now?

~~~
Didn't make the best food choices last night, but managed to stop eating at a reasonable hour. (Give myself a 2.5/5 behavior score) Have been exhausted lately and using that as an excuse to eat more, but hellooooo self: eating more food only makes you MORE tired. :rolleyes:

Going over to a friend's house for movie night tonight. Looking forward to chilling with good people, but not really sure what I'm going to do about food. Meh. Will play it by ear and aim for 4-5/5 in good behavior.

Alex - I'm fine. I wasn't fine for a while, but time heals all pain. We're going to start trying for another baby next month, so hopefully we get our 2nd nugget here soon. :)

HAY GUYSSSSSSSSSS quick update today.

124.0 this AM - felt v bloated all day yesterday and this morning for sure. BF understands me and made me a steak dinner to get my iron up before TOM actually arrives. It was AMAZING through and through, sides were buttery green beans and "Hungarian" dill/paprika mushroom & caramelized onions and potatoes (I had half a small potato, not a potato fan). Skirt steak with smoked bleu cheese melted over the top.

Work is picking up, we're organizing press conferences all over the state from our hectic 2-person office and I'm starting to realize that my boss actually couldn't get anything done had he not hired me, so I'm not a bump on a log after all - it's just not always budget/advocacy season. I'm feeling pretty darn proud to contribute and participate in what my organization achieves (Tl;dr keeping poor old and disabled people with high needs out of nursing homes and institutions by educating them about their options).

Cardio this AM. Upper Body B this PM if I'm feeling ambitious - pullups, dips, lat raises, tricep pulldowns, cable curls. Playing an open mic with my roomie in the evening and going to karaoke if we still have voices. She's the girl with the banjo in the pic above.

Maddie I wish you all the best in the cultivation of nugget #2. Female bodies and uteruses and the like are whack but I'm glad you're doing OK. Five Guys sounds AMAZING right now!

TurboMammoth If it's too painful you can always stop, but it may not be! :D Are you doing the exact same lifts you did Tuesday? Sorry you haven't been able to poop recently and feel bloated. Have a good day!

olehcat Yeah maintaining is pretty much WAY easier than losing - it sounds like you're unhappy with your diet overall, what would you eat if you could eat WHATEVER YOU WANTED ALL THE TIME? Do you like chicken thighs? Dark meat and white meat are still both chicken. Do you even like poultry? I'd kill myself if I felt like I *HAD* to eat chicken and turkey breast all the time. You're totally not that limited in your options - seems like psychologically knowing you have a wide variety of options would do wonders for you!

Alex Had our space adventure gone badly (bad trip) it WOULD HAVE been a horror movie. "Everyone I once knew is now a scary monster and I'm stuck in the woods with no car or mobile reception, ARGAHRAGHRGAHARGHAHH." Glad your orchestra is mostly mature people and not overachieving brats.

Aidangm Sweet video. I didn't know the Harlem Shuffle required dumbbells.

:coffee2: A quick post to say I'm still around, just haven't had time to read much.

I walked to the library on Monday... which seems like a very simple thing to most people, but I have sever anxiety about being in public, especially walking outside (people can see me?? AHHH!), but I'm trying to force myself out of my comfort zone of hiding away in my house. The walk to the library is only about a mile and half round trip, but there is also a starbucks and a mall a little farther. I'm going to force myself to make the trip at least once a week (barring horrible weather, injury, or sickess). Exercise plus getting over illogical fear. Yay.

krampus Neat pictures!

Aidanqm You look adorable in that video. :D

Lunch!

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BExm2AECMAAVf9s.jpg

This is probably like 800 calories but who cares - chicken, tons of avocado, quinoa/black bean/sweet potato mix, salad with red onions, grapes and gorgonzola with oil/balsamic dressing

Just a quick stop-by, needed to say 2 things ;

1) krampus, in your quinoa, you just cook it and throw black bean and sweet potato on it? I tried quinoa once, it was some kind of pumpkin puree quinoa curry and it was digusting. I've been looking for something to do with that stuff forever, and your lunch looks yummy!

2) I just got back from the gym and I don't want to snack because we are having some chili tonight and I know this stuff is pretty heavy. But I am sooo craving for something sweet right now and I want to throw something at my computer for stumbeling on this on Tumblr.

http://img541.imageshack.us/img541/2355/womanhealth.jpg

Woman, you cook some freacking FRIED CHOCOLAT AND BANANA WONTONS.

WHY US SO SKINNY AND ON THE COVER OF WOMENS HEALTH

... had to get this out :P

Thanks for the encouragement! I had a thought about the antibiotics I was on.. Might have caused havoc with my BC pills!
Down to 112.8 today...but beer and wings after work will be the end of that tomorrow! Lol!
On holidays till the 18th...so had to start the festivities!

Still 110 this morning. ZOMG. I did so much exercise yesterday. Walked over 80 min, full body lift, and a 7 mile O&B on snow trails. Ri-diculous! The muscles in my feet are still sore this morning. I am going to take one hel| of a long nap when I get home. Took my Sockwas out on the trail yesterday instead of my Altras. I'm all over minimalist footwear. And Sockwas have amazing ground feel. I was able to feel salt grains (used for melting ice) on the concrete. Running through snow felt like a foot massage even though it was a tough workout. :)

Here are some pics!
http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphoto...01409552_n.jpg

http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphoto...45170293_n.jpg

In other news. I made the mistake of setting up TWO dinner dates tonight with two different friends. Oops. I forgot my bestie and I had been planning a girl's night out and she wanted to eat at her favorite pasta restaurant this evening. So... I scheduled sushi at 5pm with another friend earlier in the week. Only to remember that I have to go to an Italian restaurant at 7pm. I didn't want to cancel on either friend so now I''m going to both. LORD help me. Hahaah. I think I'll just get a small plate of sashimi or a cucumber roll at sushi. Then I can see if my friend will split a plate of pasta with me later on. That way, I won't kill myself with food. :dizzy:

On Saturday, I have a 6 miler with my marathon training group in at 8am. Then heading off to a climbing gym with a friend at 11am. Maybe tea afterwards. In for an action packed weekend. Hurr. Maybe another run on Sunday afternoon. :carrot:

hi, guys,

Yesterday I was weak and wobbly. No excuse. I just didn't have it in me to fight that weight loss battle yesterday. I didn't eat like a hog or stuff Mcdonald's in my face or anything, but it was just all those little things that add up, like grabbing a bite of this or that without thinking, having a few more of the brownies I made, having 2 glasses of wine, just not giving a you-know-what. Plus, I hit this rebellious attitude yesterday with running, where I just didn't feel like doing one more thing that I had to do.

Part of this is because there is still snow and ice on the ground and so I have to go to the gym to run. If I could just go home, put on my running clothes and run outside as I should be able to do in a few weeks, it wouldn't have been an issue. It was that I had to stop one more place on the way home (the gym) when I've hardly been at home this whole week. So yeah, I rebelled and didn't do my running yesterday which I really needed to do since now I've had 4 days off in a row, which is unheard of for me, eep. So yeah, I've been lazy and undisciplined. My weight reflects it, too.

You know, I do a lot of whining and then don't do anything about it, but what I'm really looking for is something that works for me. I realized that this will be the only thing that will work for me. In theory, I love the idea of low carb diets, for example. They work and I feel fantastic when I'm on them (properly). I have done a modified Atkins a few times in my life (modified because I never restrict the vegetables as you're supposed to in the first few weeks and I add a fruit here and there) and have dropped weight and felt fantastic. But it never lasts because it's not sustainable long term as far as having a social life, hanging out with others, enjoying life. Tell me I can't have another birthday cake slice in my entire life? Forget about it.

So I've been thinking a lot the last few days about what will work for ME. I know so many people who have invented their own "me diets" that work for them. I need something sustainable for me but that definitely works.

Here's my insecurity, and maybe this is where you successful peeps can jump in and help. It makes me insecure to read so many threads in this forum and an in others where people seem to be doing EVERYTHING right. They're eating between 1200-1500 calories, eating clean and healthy foods, exercising 1 hour a day 5 days a week, no alcohol, no soda, etc., and they are not losing weight. Tell me, how is this possible, unless these people are in denial about something (maybe they binge every week and are not saying that), or there is something physically wrong with them??? So it makes me insecure and think that wow, even if I did everything RIGHT, there's this large percentage of people who do everything right and have no success. If I'm one of those people, I don't think I can handle that kind of failure, and I bet I would actually gain weight because of it. Which is a crap attitude, I know, and one that I'm trying to change, because how would I know if I was one of those failure situations unless I tried? But it's almost like I need a guarantee. If I do X, Y, and Z, then I will lose the weight for sure. I need something scientific. Supposedly calorie counting IS scientific, even if not an exact science, but then ... *points up* all these people for whom apparently it doesn't work right.

I guess, to sum it up, is my big fear is that I will sacrifice the food and drink I enjoy to lose weight and then I wont' lose weight at all and maybe even gain it because maybe my body is one of those fluke cases.

Again, very silly because in reality, I think my metabolism is very healthy. I just don't trust my hormones and the medication I have to take because of them. *sigh*

Anyway, I just needed to get that fear out of my system this morning.

Hope everyone is going to have a fantastic Friday!

@Krampus -mmmm...more food pr0n! Love it! And YES, Krampus, YES! I have always preferred the dark, fattier meat. I know that makes me a little strange, but give me a fatty cornish hen any day over a chicken breast! If I could eat anything all day long? It would be things like curries, chilis, soups (ha, see? Stuff that's hard to count as far as calories), baked goods (yep, I know, not good for diets), pizzas, Mexican food, yep, all the high calorie stuff-- I tend to love things that are mixed together like casseroles and curries and soups, but very flavorful. But I also love salads (Greek salads are my fave).

@TheBunneh - Good for you on the walk! Baby steps, right? Once you do something like that the first time, I know it does get easier.

@Alex - I hope you had a great time with your friends! Thank you for the encouragement. Ugh, I'm not feeling so great about my choices lately...

@Maddie - I'm so sorry about the miscarriages you've had. That has got to be rough. As far as the lean cuisine idea, I have actually thought about that, just to get over the first hump at least. I've been in these mid 140's (which used to be the very high range for me) for FAR too long and now I'm afraid my body is settling into it as a new norm. I used to hover more in the upper 130s, so I'd sure like to get back there at least! I'm really sort of horrified by what my body (er...correction, what *I*) have done to myself the last year or so. Anyway, I am considering something as temporarily simple as that, just to get things started. What happened when you reached 139? How did you change things up then?

@Turbo - Yeah, I realized that overall, I'm not a big meat fan, and really don't like pork at all, lol, which is a problem, because I don't like to eat a huge amount of grains either AND I don't trust eating too much soy (one summer when I ate boca burgers almost every day my period got SUPER wonky and wicked). So I'm really kind of stuck as far as regular healthy protein. As I said to krampus, I do like the fattier cuts of chicken, like the dark meat, so maybe it's a matter of just having smaller portions of the darker cuts...hmmm...

@Aidanqm - oh, and GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR TWO DINNERS! :D That sounds like fun, actually, but definitely an eating challenge. Oooh, I'm up for six miles this week, too, as far as my half marathon training.