I was wondering if any featherweights here have gotten comments about being "too skinny"?

Have you ever been faced with being questioned if you're anorexic?

Have you ever been called "skinny biotch" to your face? Followed, of course, with a LOL or JK.

Have you ever been ignored in group conversations about cooking or food and told "what do you know?" as if you couldn't possibly have a recipe that tastes good?

Has a family member ever criticized your size or made fun of it even though your are healthier than you've ever been (not to mention WAY healthier than they)?

How does this make you feel? How do you handle it? What do you say?

Why is it politically incorrect to say stuff to heavy people yet making fun of skinny/fit people gets a laugh?

Anyone else frustrated with this? Or...even embarrassed about being fit in an unfit society?

Yes to all your questions. People can be mean sometimes, it's either you're too fat or too thin. Truth be told, people don't like seeing others succeed with such a challenging task. They feel threatened, and are shocked with the whole "How the heck can SHE lose weight, and not me?!" Mumbo Jumbo is what I say.

What they don't see, is how hard you worked, or how much you had to change, the choices you had to make, the sweat, the pain, the hunger, the training of the mind, etc. Not just anyone can make it to their goal. I am actually THIS close to having an intervention, I can feel it coming. I get the "concerned" looks now. My most recent comment said to me was "you KNOW she took diet pills b/c there is NO way SHE could have lost weight with just diet and exercise. You saw how BIG she was"

I always just say "I worked really hard" AND, i had a baby, still maintained, still succeeded. I wish I could get away with sticking my tongue out at people sometimes. And in the end, I know what's true, I know what I did, and I know how I did it. THat's all that matters, anyone else, can think what they want.

I get it a lot, all of it.

My mom thinks I'm too thin and tells me all the time that standing next to me makes her feel fat. My mom who is likely anorexic - I can't go into the level of guilt that comment brings to me.

I volunteered to bring a dessert to a family gathering and my aunt replied with 'please don't bring a fruit tray, Christmas isn't the time to be healthy' without even asking me what I planned on bringing. Robin's Strawberry cheesecake bites from the maintainers forum were my plan, and they are fantastic and decadent and loved at every gathering I've taken them to and are not terrible for you.

One of my friends lost some weight several years ago and another friend got her a birthday card that said 'Happy Birthday you skinny b*tch...' on the outside and on the inside said '...don't you want some cake?' with a picture of a large woman hitting a skinny woman in the face with a birthday cake. At the time I remember laughing along with her as she read it, and as the mutual friend yukked it up over it. I also remember her face as she looked away - I didn't understand it then, but I totally get it now.

I really hate the comments that are made when I eat a piece of cake or ice cream or something - my dad often yells out across the room at family gatherings 'how many miles are you going to have to run to get rid of that cake' or whatever I'm eating. Which makes everyone stop and look at me and makes me feel icky.

I try to downplay it with a humorous comeback, but I'm not always very good at it.

Yes, yes, and... yes. Although I've never been called skinny biotch... probably only because people speak German here. :P

I feel a little funny and thank people for their concern. It's been more concern than teasing or anything, but I see people on the web saying all kinds of nasty stuff about thin people, and it pisses me off, but I figure people are just jealous. If they were on the other end of the stick, they'd shut up.

Where I live, people are less likely to be nasty to your face, so some of the cashiers have been fairly nice and normal to me to my face, but sort of whispering to their buddies. I don't really care, because I'd probably wonder about someone losing almost 80 pounds, too, you know? I'd wait until they LEFT THE STORE, though. :P

I used to get really annoyed the first time around when I lost weight. This time around, I guess I'm older and just don't care as much about some things.

I definitely agree with GuamVixen about people feeling threatened though.... when other people succeed, they feel /less/. Unfortunately, some people are really good at letting their insecurities do the talking for them.

Not too terribly much. Most people are really happy for me. But I remember around 185 pounds, which was still a ways to go at my height, one of my co-workers called down a crowded hallway that she worried I was going to "go anorexic." And just a few days ago another co-worker stopped me and told me with concern it was time to start losing now.

I'm a size 6. I think that's perfectly normal myself.

I haven't had it enough to annoy me terribly yet and I've been able to skirt stupidity comments about what I eat. I hoped that by losing weight the food scrutiny would stop, but now it just seems people are actually allowed to say what they used to only think.

I'm not surprised that I'm not the only one. I recently thought of a "come back" of sorts and will probably use it the next time I hear a back handed compliment.

I will say something like, "Does it make you feel better now that you've said that? Do you think it makes me feel good to hear it the way you said it? Just what is your intention right now?"

There is an overweight gym teacher in my gym. I would (not literally) KILL for her job. I have substitute taught for her many times. I thought we were "friends".

I saw her in the mirror behind me while I was working with free weights. I had on a baggy shirt over my capris. I don't like baggy shirts coz they make me look skinny and not muscular. I thought she was checking out my form, or perhaps learning the exercises I was doing (since she doesn't quite practice what she preaches).

About 30 min later, my boss came up to me to tell me that this teacher inquired if she thought I may be anorexic. Thankfully, my boss laughed out loud and said, "No. She is most definitely NOT anorexic."

WTH would this woman who was a professional along side me NOT ask ME about her concern for me?? Besides looking like a total idiot for not correctly identifying someone with a serious condition, she could have caused me some strife at my JOB!

Now when I see her (usually reading a novel on the bike with like zero increase in heart rate) I make sure to take the vaccuum to that part of the gym, in my tank top, and lift that heavy machine so she can see my biceps and back muscles - something that most anorexics are distinctly absent from having.

There is more to my story but that's the biggest angry one recently.

I'm still in college, and I feel like half the women are smaller than I am right now at 119 lbs, so I don't face any of this. I'm only chiming in as a reminder that it is all a matter of context -- some people might bully a size 4 or size 6 to lose weight. It's surprising when chubby suburban women are as brutal as skinny NYC women, but the way women project their body image issues onto others will always exist and will always suck.

And I wanted to append that while some people do just have smaller frames, studies have shown that it is as unhealthy to be underweight as it is to be overweight. Generally speaking, a BMI under 18.0 would be the opposite of being kind to your body. I think some of us featherweights do walk the fine line of wanting to be a bit too thin in a way that might sabotage our bone strength and fitness in the long term.

It has been mentioned to me before that my BMI is too low.
I am anything but a waif. I am anything but unhealthy.

I wrote out kind of a long response but decided to keep only the above. I think I'll be deleting my height and weight from my profile since I seem to get responses based on people judging me by my numbers.

Kind of my whole point with this thread and undoubtedly ironic seeing that happen here.

Lackadaisy, please know that your post was not written with outward criticism and your approach to this topic was respectful. However, it seemed to have the same affect on me as what I had mentioned in my first post.

I guess this may be "just me".

My weight has always been high enough (120-130 at 5'2.5) to not draw questions like that, but I just wanted to extend support for you and others who have. If someone has a concern about a friend, colleague, family member not eating enough, it's best directed in a straightforward, confidential, and supportive way. Armchair diagnoses of anorexia, snide comments, and rudeness can be directed towards people with BMIs above and below the "normal" range and are uncalled for. At best they are offensive and out of line, at worst they can actually harm and alienate those who may have a real problem.

I'm sorry you've gone though this.

At this stage in the game I would cry with joy if this ever happened to me.

I've had really overweight people tell me to eat a sandwich, but I don't take them seriously. America has such a huge problem (literally and figuratively) that I take everything almost anyone says with a grain of salt. I have to make my own standards and stick to them and not worry about fitting in to mainstream society, since mainstream is unhealthy.

Fitness, I don't think this post was referring to you in any way. I think this is in response to some pretty typical "feather" type chat. There ARE some feathers who walk a fine line. I've seen it many, many times myself. I've always seen it handled very tactfully here, but I agree with lackadaisy. We all know many women have body issues at any weight and many women are never able to see themselves for how thin they really are.

I see your topic here as very different. Many of us truly are healthy weights and lead healthy lifestyles, yet catch flack for it! It's mind boggling! I think it's due to a new and skewed perception of what "normal" looks like.

I really was just planning on lurking on this thread, since I don't have any personal experience with the topic. But I have to say . . .

This, this, a thousand times this. I see it in others, and I - sad to say it - see it in myself sometimes. Yuck.

E and Jen, Thanks for your responses. E - I have not been here long enough to know what you are talking about. There are vast differences in bone structure and the amount of regular body material (organ size included), so making a judgement on one's weight alone is almost assinign. (if I spelled that correctly) That's why I hate the BMI so much. I'm surprised there isn't more here on body fat %. ? Comparing weight to height is just SOsosososo incomplete! And Lack and I have PMd and I know her post wasn't directed at me, but I was speaking for those whom it may have been directed. Without knowing these people, that still is a judgement made on this board. Yes, too thin has it's health risks. Make sure those who are at risk for being unhealthily thin get addressed properly and privately or else it's the same thing as Fat-bashing.

J-Isn't it neat to browse around here and learn something even tho we thought we had nothing to say about a topic? That's why I'm here! To gain perspective. I agree, what comes out of ppl's mouths can be surprising, thus my prepared response for next time. "How did saying that make you feel differently than before you said it? How do you think it made me feel? Just what are your intentions?".

My sister is a HUGE provider of negative comments. My skinny friend and I were late to dinner (pizza nite) while we vaca with my sis. The first thing my sis said to us was, "I think there's a slice left. The two of you can share it and be full.". Nice. After I watched her son for 36 hours (since she was sick) and PAID FOR ALMOST EVERYTHING on her vaca with us. Grrrr

Thanks for your positive responses! I am feeling the love!

Fitness, don't you just love message boards for positive and varying responses? I do!

I see what you're saying, and to be honest, I haven't lived that "thin-bashing" life too terribly much just yet. So it's nice to have my eyes opened a bit. However, what I'm talking about is true too. I can think of one poster on here, whom I haven't seen in a while, who posted scary pictures 20 pounds below the original goal. This person continuously tried to lose fat when what I saw in the pictures was loose skin, not fat, and you can't diet away skin. I worried a lot about the mental space of this particular poster after losing 200+ pounds.

There have been women who openly discuss scary-low calorie diets and post pictures to show the "fat" they want gone when there isn't really any to be seen. I know we are all our own harshest critics.

I guess I'm just saying there are very real eating disorders out there and a few have posted in the feathers section. They often don't stick around long, but they leave their mark.

I agree with you about BMI being totally bogus. I personally feel like I am pretty small for my hefty weight.