Getting Started as a "Feather" (It's hard! Why do I feel heavy as a board?)
 

Hey Friends of a Feather,

I've hopped back on the wagon a week ago, determined for success this time. When I look at the boards I find it amazing that so many people have lost so much and I think all their work is so admirable! But I also feel guilty (and I think that's a topic that's been discussed here before) because my current weight and measurements are some people's goal weights. I know I'm not HUGE or obese but I feel so fat, after a long history of having my self-image warped by a combination of society, family, and ridiculously stereotypically attractive friends.


And the other thing is, to me, 40 lbs seems like such a huge, intimidating amount to lose! Realistically I won't go the whole 40, but I think I need to lose at least 30, which is still a huge amount to me. It seems silly to complain when there are people here who need to lose twice, three, four times that. When I look at that number, though, I don't know how I'll ever be able to do it.

I guess all I'm looking for here is commiseration (does anybody else feel this way?) and tips for staying motivated when you first start (the first two weeks are the worst, obviously). I've only been at it for about a week or so but today I had a backlash of the worst kind, a voice telling me that I'll never lose the weight, that I'll just fail again like I always have in the past...and now I have so, so much more to lose than before! Yikes! :?:

Of course you will lose the weight! You're the boss, you're in charge, you Can do this!

BTW, have you been 107 before? The bmi calculator I use says that's underweight for your (and my) height. (Thanks for making me look, though, I discovered I'm only .3 of a bmi point away from overweight, woohoo!)

My best tips for staying motivated are:

Be disciplined about making a plan and sticking to it: just having general good intentions won't hack it.
Don't compare yourself to others. Sure, from the weight I started at, I will do a dance of joy when I get down to your startweight - but that's my story, it doesn't make yours any less of a story. It's your story: become uber-focussed on your health, just stay short of obsession!

What is your plan? (I'm nosy that way).

107 is not underweight for 5'2. It's a BMI of 19.6 but anything above 18.5 is okay.

Everyone has a different place where they want to be. If you're around super-slim people all the time, I'd want to be toward the bottom end of my range too. My goal is to have a BMI of 20, and many people my height stop where I am or higher (I'm currently at 22). But you have to choose what is right for you. Last week there was someone at my WW meeting who had lost 175 pounds, and she was still heavier than I was when I started. Everyone has their own journey. If you're at the low end of the range, it's really nice to have the featherweights around for support. I'm enjoying them myself quite a lot.

I feel you pain. I think it is hard when you start out a very small person and gradually pack on pounds (even just like 30 lbs). My teenage daughter is 5'2 and 105 and she is thin, but not skinny (think Eva Longoria).

I work with a lot of women who are also dieting and would love to be the size I am now...and they do give dirty looks when I try to eat healthy or pass on sweets. I think it is about being comfortable at a weight that YOU are happy with...and if that is 107, then so be it. Just make sure you set you goal weight at something that you can maintain for the long haul...or you will become more frustrated. I still haven't met my mini goal of 142, although my cals are about 1500 per day and am beginning to wonder if 135 is realistic. It's all about maintaining (and still LIVING).

Hey ladies, thanks for all your feedback!

Rosinante - wow and congratulations on your amazing loss! You're almost there and you've come so far already! I've never been 107, 40lbs just seemed like a good, even number to me, and Ideally I'd like to be in that range, 107-117. The BMI calculator I used said it's still within normal range. I'd like to get down to 120 and re-evaluate. (The smallest I've ever been is 125, and I was still very unhappy with my body then.)

My plan is lots of exercise and cardio and eating generally well! I'm not calorie counting (yet) but I used to, and I found that it makes me obsessed with food (even more so!) I used to have some ED-variety behaviors in the past, and I'd really like to stay away from it. I have a much better mindset now. I don't eat tons of junk but I do overeat, I will literally eat until I want to throw up if I can, and I am trying to curb that. If I want to eat something, I will eat it, but I'll make sure to counter it with cardio. I've been happy with it so far, but like I said, it's only been a week, and will probably need re-evaluating at one point. I like calorie-counting better than any other restrictive diets - I tried South Beach before and all I could think of was, "when am I going to get to eat my effing carbs again?!" even when you're supposed to be past the stage of craving carbs! I try to keep it whole-grain when I can, but sometimes you just want/need that starchy white pasta.

Pageta - thank you for your input! My friends, male and female alike, are pretty much very thin and traditionally attractive (many of them are even models @_@; ) ...so yes, I always feel like it's beast and a bunch a beauties xD even if I know it's not true.

michelinwoman - I think you're right! This is wise advice too...maybe my body is not meant to be 107? (But it's definitely not meant to be 147, that's for sure ~_~ ) Like I said, I'm trying hard to keep a realistic, healthy mindset, and I am looking forward to re-evaluating when I get closer to goal. Right now it seems so far away that it's just fantasy...

The best kind of motivation for me (and don't laugh) is squeezing my butt and slapping my thighs and seeing them being firm. Get yourself addicted to exercise and you'll never want to relapse.

:welcome: MiniMo.

I totally relate on the "starting weight is lower than others' goals." When I first found 3FC, I didn't know about the Featherweights section and I complained to my husband about how this site was so amazing but there was no way I was going to post my trials, tribulations, frustrations and rants on the main weight-loss boards or on the age boards. It seemed almost rude. And to be sure, some Feathers have felt a bit of a frosty reception elsewhere on 3FC. I'm not blaming anyone or slamming other boards here. I get why it happens.

As far as 40 lbs being overwhelming -- break it up into minigoals. Maybe 5 lbs at a time, or some other increment that appeals to you. You can even set up rewards for each minigoal -- maybe a manicure, or a new workout outfit, etc. There was a whole thread about that on the main weight-loss board -- some good ideas.

There are also a lot of people here with ED histories -- so I'm sure you will find support as you try to navigate the balance between attentiveness and obsession.

Glad to have to you here -- keep us posted on your progress!

I am in the same boat with you. I am not quite 5'1 and it's so hard that every tiny pound gained really shows up on us! But just remember the opposite is true- just 3 pounds can make a difference in how my clothes fit!
I am 127 right now, and while that's not overweight, it's still not right for my body. I am carrying around more body fat that I should, so I don't see why I should accept that when I can do something to change it. Good luck in your continuing journey!

Everybody is really welcoming here, it really makes me :D

Krampus - what a good idea! Today, for the first time, I noticed my thigh muscles starting to stick out a little underneath all the soft squishy flab xD I really celebrated that. Then I broke my elliptical and I had a mini-crisis...but I managed to fix it. Exercise really makes me feel good, I had completely forgotten about that. @_@

thesame7lbs - Thank you for the warm welcome!! That's exactly what I'm talking about, it seems almost rude to be like, OH GOD I FEEL SO HEAVY IN MY _____ when you know people are struggling with twice your weight. Or even to offer support, like "I understand what it's like to be made fun of for being fat" and people look at you as if you're crazy.

You're right about breaking it up into mini-goals. One small increment at a time and it will all come off, hopefully! Anyway, thanks for the advice and support, I find it very helpful.

AaronandTara - yeeeep. Us shorties show our weight more xD Best of luck to you as well!

I was super frustrated when I first started my weight loss journey this summer. I was working out like a fiend and eating clean for the first time in... probably EVER, and I was seeing zero scale movement. This went on for about two months. Then suddenly, BAM, a bunch fell off all at once. You may have a moment like that, and it's SUCH a good feeling. Remember it when you then later, inevitably, hit another plateau. These things happen in stages, and consistency will get you to your goal! :D