I'm going to get fat in a matter of time.
 

Hi everyone,

I was about 10 pounds from goal but I got comfortable with my body being smaller and more fit, and I started indulging a bit more here and there, which recently has turned into large unhealthy meals more and more often, and the last two days or so I've been binging on everything in sight. I stepped on the scale today and saw a 7 pound increase, and I also had my photo taken when I went with my friend to the art museum, and I was shocked at how chubby my face looked. Now I realize some of this has to be water retention, and I'm PMSing right now so that's also part of it, but a big part of it is real weight gain that I've somehow allowed to happen....

And I'm totally freaking out. I feel like I worry SO MUCH everyDAY about my weight, worrying about gaining and worrying about skipping a workout. But you know what my biggest worry is? That one morning I'm going to wake up and be fat. About a year ago, I had a rapid weight loss of about 20 pounds and then I rapidly gained it all back, and then some. I think in my head, being fit and slim is only a temporary state, and it's just a matter of time before I'm chubby again. And so even when I'm fit, I'm constantly worrying.

I want to stop stressing out and worrying so MUCH. I want to enjoy my life. I don't want to be scared of weight gain so much that it controls me. Right now I feel like such a failure, sitting here crying and feeling tight in my clothes and so disappointed in myself for thinking I could stuff my face and not have any repercussions.

I just needed to let this out... if anybody might understand my predicament, it's you guys... thanks.

Oh and my ticker does not reflect any current measurements... just haven't had the heart to change it. :(

I've done the same thing. Lost 30#, gained back 15#, lost it again. Just got to get back in the saddle again. You don't say what way of eating you are using for weight loss. Is it not working for you any more? Are you exercising? That would help control some of your cravings. Just coming here for daily support helps to. Are people trying to sabotage your weight loss? Don't keep crappy food in your house. Journal your food intake. It really helps to see it down on paper. Drink lots of water. Don't give up hope!

Don't feel bad! A seven pound increase will be much easier for you to correct than a 40 or 50 pound gain. Plus, PMSing will make you feel heavier and maybe even moodier (if you're like me ;) ).

You can, you can, you can lose it again. *hugs*

I feel just like you. I think it is because I was overweight for so long and have only been "thin" recently. I still don't "feel" thin though others say I am. I still see my problem areas. I also feel like if I eat poorly for a few days all of the weight will come back and I feel like I think about my weight way too much. However, I have found that for myself, I have to exercise daily and eat almost perfectly to maintain my loss. I am trying to come to grips with this and just make it a part of my life and not obsess about it. It is just a fact and if I want my new body, I have to live with it. I am learning that my family is sick of hearing about my exercise, weight loss, etc., and I'm trying to keep my comments to myself (or bring them here to others who understand!).
Please don't be too hard on yourself. PMS is probably most of your problem (both emotionally and on the scale). My daughter today told me that I'm too hard on myself in general (she is 13). I think she is very insightful actually. Love yourself and try not to obsess. Take care.

All of us that have lost weight understand what you're going through. I have finally come to the conclusion that I can't diet. I have to change the way I look at food. A lot of people lose weight and then go back to the way they were eating. We know where that gets us. I have totally changed the way I look at food. I know I will always have to eat like this and exercise, if I want to keep these results.

It's not fair! Everybody doesn't have to do this!!! whine, whine!! but I love these results. I like being thin and I like being stronger and feeling better. and this is the price I have to pay.

It is your choice...
 

Something I read here that helped me... It is all about choice, about your choice. When and what you eat, when you choose to exercise or not...
Remember: the future depends on you, on your choice. Try to remember before your meals and make the best choice for you.:hug:

Hi everyone and thanks for your replies, I feel much better this morning. I know my last couple of posts reeked of unhealthy eating behaviors/mindset and I feel vulnerable in that I've revealed them, but also glad because I can receive encouragement and support.
I guess I just felt overwhelmed for a second there... feeling like I was being controlled by it, sad that I couldn't just "eat normally" (which isn't necessarily healthy!) for the rest of my life, exhausted by the mere thought of going to the gym AGAIN. But I've taken a deep breath, had some good talks with loved ones, and now feel as though I am ready to take another stab at this whole healthy thing.

It's important to me to remember these moments, though, and realize that they are always just an arm's length away... but that I can and have, in the past, overcome them, and this time I will, too. Sometimes when I'm doing really well on my eating/exercising, I feel invincible, and declare lofty claims like, "I will never touch junk food again! HAHA!" or "I will go to the gym no matter what, even if I don't feel like it!" and at times when I feel strong, they motivate me. But I have to remember that I don't always feel strong, and have moments where even the smallest of efforts of being healthy seem to be too much. I guess it's all about finding a balance....

DEEP BREATH. Thanks, guys.