STAR ~ My DH was diagnosed 20 years ago with a "Cognitive Development Disorder" called Asberger's Syndrome; and has always had a memory & learning challenge, but now that he is in his sixties, it getting much worse.

It calls for a lot of patience on my part (to put it mildly) and yes, he does get very frustrated. We have good days & bad days, like yesterday. It is so hard to explain to people what goes on here on a daily basis -- he forgets, then gets upset at himself, and at me, and at life. I try to calm him and help him as much as I can. He loses things all the time, but he doesn't remember touching them in the first place (denying it), and can't recall his steps; sooo, I search for them ... every day -- I pray and my Angels help me.

The hardest part is trust & acceptance; he has to trust me explicitly, and it's hard for him to accept how often and how much he forgets. Yesterday, he filled the car trunk twice and had to empty it twice, becuz he couldn't remember that it needed to be empty to go shopping this morning. You tell him something and within a minute, he forgets what you said. He can't remember people's names or where they live; he can't remember them at all unless he sees them regularly. You tell him a joke and he forgets it minutes later -- that is, if he even gets the punch line in the first place.

It's a complicated brain disorder with multi-symptoms; and there are so many more that it would take pages to explain them all. Actually, he is doing well considering; he is a high-functioning Autistic person. He taught himself to read comic books, but other academics faltered becuz he couldn't grasp the spelling & writing skills well enuff.

He was great at mechanics and woodworking, and can do lots of little Mr. Fix-it things around the house, but you need to have lots of patience with him. He goes at his own pace; and, he often has to do something more than once to get it done right. He makes lots of mistakes and often needs guidance even if he doesn't want it (pride causes a problem here).

DH & I don't argue about ourselves -- ALL of our little spats (as rare as they are) are always regarding his challenge, in some way or another. He argues with me, even when he is wrong; and it embarrasses him just how often he is mistaken. I have to remind him all the time that we are on the same side -- the same team. I have to remind him about "appropriateness" -- as he gets the "silly-willies" at the most inopportune times. :shrug:

Mostly, I try to focus on the positive; and we are winning. I am a social worker with experience working with people with all kinds of challenges -- so I can now see why GOD brought us together. DH has some wonderful qualities too -- he helps me in ways that many men don't or won't help their wives. I care for him and he cares for me. We help each other. We actually compliment each other; having opposite gifts & talents -- I can see GOD involved there.

So I pray a lot, trust me; becuz some days are very hard on me. It's so sad to watch this happen to your spouse every day, and then be the brunt of his frustration and anger. Then others tease him or make fun of him, and that hurts him ... and me indirectly, becuz he's my spouse.

We do have our challenges: mine are more physical and his are cognitive, but we are both just doing the best we can. So if you want to, please do pray for us -- becuz we can sure use it & appreciate it too. Thanks ... Rosebud :hug:

No dear...that would be directly...since God made you one! :hug:

and as always my :angel: prayers :angel:

:bday2you:HAPPY BIRTHDAY BARGOO!:bday2you:

Rosebud - The house doesn't look small... I meant dollhouse more like cause it's so adorable with So much character, and so many things that already make it feel, even in pictures, like a warm and wonderful place! :)

I have no personal experience with Aspbergers and can hear how it hurts you (agree with Gary that it's directly, not indirectly) and will for sure send you prayers. I do understand how tiring a constant battle can be though, and for that, I pray to give you strength (both of you) to help keep ya going. The challenges we face our not in me or DH though, they are with our children. Out of the 3, 2 of them face very tough challenges physically and mentally... our son is the one we worry more for - as he is 17 and we are struggling to get services in place so he can be an independent adult as he wishes to be. It sounds like God choose you for him and him for you!!!! No mistaking that one bit! With or without struggles, you sound as though you are so very much in love and know the Source of that happiness.... as you have your spouse, your house... people sometimes roll their eyes when I say "If you have faith, He will provide"... but it's so true. It's just hard cause it's on His time and not ours.. sometimes hard to understand in the moment. Hope you aren't wearing yourself out too much with all that needs doing!

Gary - Watching the grandbaby must sure keep you busy! :) What a blessing to have her close enough to have that time though! Enjoy the night!!!

Bargoo - Happiest of Birthdays to you :)

Rosebud, praying for you and DH.

THANKS, BARGOO ~ :woo::bday2you::woo:


GARY ~ Many thanks you gals/guys! Yes, you are right -- it is DIRECTLY becuz we are one indeed. GOD knew what he was doing when he brought us together for sure. I don't think there is anything that DH wouldn't do for me (righteously, I mean ;)); and visa versa. Our FAITH is what keeps us going; and GOD is our source of love and strength! Sometimes I joke about our circumstances, but a sense of humor goes a long way to help us deal with our challenges too.

STAR ~ I am slowly learning to pace myself; and we have arranged for some help with painting & moving -- so that we can take our time (just overdid it once; last week, but am doing well again). I am sending up prayers for you/DH and your children too ... :hug:


Oh, we have company; tootaloo for now ... Rosebud :D

Rosebud - thank you so very much! As you well know, there is never enough prayers :) I am glad you shared though, so that DH and I know to include you and yours in our prayers as well. I am glad you have arranged for some help, that will help tremendously :) Enjoy your company!

Rosebud, many geniuses suffer from Aspergers, Bill Gates has been rumoured for several years to have Aspergers.

HI GALS ~ :)

Angie and I are enjoying the evening here in the cool family room. We have the slider open and it is a cool 75 degrees. I actually got rained on this morning when I took the dogs for their 3 miler...a pleasant surprise! Angie missed the walk as she had to teach an early yoga class at the studio.

She is behind me in her recliner on her laptop and watching something Star Trek...she is a fan...I can "bare" it ;) I loved the original series years ago but after that...not so much.

We had a nice dinner, one of our favorites. I may have mentioned Angie is really working on getting us "almost" vegetarian and mostly organic.....

Linguine with olive oil, tomatoes, basil, garlic and onion tonight, a family favorite. Both Angie and I make it and when the kids were here we always had turkey bacon it it. Tonight she cooked the bacon separate and diced it so that I could add it to mine but hers remained all veggie.

An awesome homemade bruschetta and stir fried green beans, olive oil, onions and red peppers as side dishes.

All the veggies were from local organic farmers.

ROSEBUD it is nice to get painting done before moving in if possible...easier to mask and a lot faster w/o furniture and stuff....but...take it easy...you have all the time you need now...no leases, etc. :)

STAR Yep...one of the hardest things to remember is "In God's time...not ours"....tough sometimes but then looking back we can see a lot clearer some of His work. Yep, that GRANDdaughter keeps me busy when she is here...at 4 months even! I am so blessed that she lives just 1.5 miles away and can swing by often...I try to give the kids their "space" too and not be too much....she has a lot of love coming from many members of our family....we try to balance visits!

Well ladies enjoy your families :)

BARG00 ~ oh, DH will love that one; becuz at first, he didn't want me to tell anyone when he was diagnosed (he was embarrassed by it). I used to always tell him that Henry Ford didn't go past grade 8, and he was a grand success. I think Albert Enstein had some type of challenge too, if I recall correctly. Like Ben Franklin, DH sometimes has to do something many times, but he persists out of sheer determination (and I try to encourage him and give him ideas too).

GARY ~ I agree; we have the rest of our lives. Our SIL is helping paint & clean, and today, my SIL's husband's sister volunteered to help paint too ... ;) Your dinner sounds yum too.

Have a superbly restful & blessed Sunday everyone!

Gary - Sounds like you had an all around good day. Between the pleasant walk (we have been begging for rain lately, lol) and then the nutritious meal your wife prepared (and sounds like she is successfully getting the vegetarian thing accomplished). I am so glad that you have your family living so close as well. I lived close to my family until my move here, and was so thankful my kids had that close family foundation to start out with. Those moments are priceless for you and for her :)

Rosebud - I do believe that Einstein was dyslexic (I THINK that was his challenge), and there are several in our history that have had challenges. My son also hates when I state his issues... it's because he fears people putting a label on him besides the one he earns. Not everyone thinks in that black or white mode though and views them as challenges, just as a different "way" is all.

My son decided to join DD and I for our bike ride yesterday and it was wonderful. We took a loop trail that goes by where we have assigned property in our housing association area, yet no homes have been built yet. It really was a pretty ride. Now it's time to go get ready to get my worship on! :) Have a super day all!!!

Sounds like a great bike ride STAR! Several years ago we built a retirement house in Washington, since sold it, where there was a huge area for future building...our dogs loved to run in it...and get in the canal!!!..oh no!

I am blessed that the majority of my family...extended.. is very close and all meet at my house for most activities and bbq's which is a lot!

Off to church on another slightly rainy day...now to go get those wet dogs for breakfast!

Prayers

Gary - Oh no! Canal swimming dogs = a big ol' mess, LOL! But I bet they would feel refreshed afterwards! You are VERY fortunate to have all your family close. I did before moving, and in times like this - my daughter facing surgery and no one to be with the other 2 kids, I sure do miss how we were there for one another. Although I have gone over basic instructions for the other two, so hopefully we can avoid crisis. Fortunately for us, I believe some of our family that has passed already have been recruited to help with the full-time job of guardian angels for all of us who reside in the house... so in a way, we still have family with them :D

We managed to get a few sprinkles of rain last night, and an amazing light show of lightning... truly amazing to see! At work, making up for taking Friday off, so has been busy and this was my first chance to sneak a peek at the boards :) I hope everyone has a fabulous day!

We had a nice :sunny: day -- the temps were just right for the morning and most of the afternoon. It is a bit hotter in the late afteroon & early evening here, but there is a lovely breeze right now, and that helps a lot. Tried some chicken burgers tonight for dinner; I had mine with a salad and mushroom & onion medley (skipped the buns). It was quite good; DH had his homemade chz burger & tators -- I gave him some vegetable cocktail so he gets some veggies in of some kind. ;)

STAR ~ ya, I think you're correct about Albert Einstein; my youngest sister & a friend had that problem, so I know what it can do too. Sounds like you had a lovely family outing -- you're making lasting memories. Prayers the surgery for your DD goes well and that the other two will be just fine while you're away; it's good practice for them anyways ... :hug:


On Saturday, we went up to our camping lot and spent some of the afternoon there. We brought back our BBQ and some other things we needed for the house. There weren't too many bugs this time, but the :sunny: was very :hot: :hot: :hot:! I think I will take my large patio umbrella up the next time we go. We had a relaxing Sunday yesterday. Today, we packed a couple of last minute boxes from the back porch & kitchen; and then got supplies ready for cleaning & painting this week.

Have a wonderful week coming up ... Rosebud :flow2:

Rosebud - I don't know about good practice for them or not.. with my son's disabilities, there are so many things that can go badly and put his life at risk... but I am only one mom and can only be in one place at a time. I am sure they will be alright as long as I remind and remind and remind them of safety rules. I may rest a bit easier if we lived closer to a hospital or to my son's doctors... I think that is why I get uneasy... but... DD's surgery takes priority, so I gotta suck it up, ;)
I can't believe how much you have gotten done! I bet you can't wait to get painting and such to make it "yours" too :)

Hi Gals ~

Angie is teaching yoga at church and I have a few minutes to check in before I get dinner going.

Spent the day over at my sister's house visiting with her and my uncle then my son/dil and that GRANDdaughter came over to swim in the pool and take my sister's 4 yr. old grandson in...the baby went in to, she loves it...all that splashing from a 4 month old...wore her out! She was easy to rock to sleep while the rest of them played.

Got three miles in this morning before it got to hot....sorry STAR...a high of 80 at my house so far today.

Rosebud nice for you to get back to the lot before the summer is over.

Well ladies have a great evening!

Gary - dang! 80 degrees sounds chilly! LOL! We are going to be 113 here today and dew point is above 57, so not going to feel very cool here today, hehehe. Sounds like you had a wonderful visit with family yesterday!!!! That's so awesome and I love hearing about it (kinda my way of living vicariously through others for family visits, lol)

So... yesterday our car broke down after DH dropped me off at work - alternator. I had gotten my Total Gym that I was waiting for the night before, so it all balances out... positive/negative.... so he went to fix it and did great, except he tightened the belt too much - so the belt broke AND the tensioner, LOL! Oh dang. He somehow (only the Man above could have made this happen) managed to get it all fixed in time to pick me up at work, LOL. A hit to the bank account, but worth it for the transportation we rely on. Then went to get on elliptical and had an issue with my lung that effected my heart rate so had to stop... got back on for a little bit after, but no where near my normal. With weigh in being today, having started strength training this week, and then the body issues... I figured the scale would be mean and show me it can still go up.... this is one time I am glad to be wrong, LOL! Still managed to go down .8 Lb!!!! YAY! So.... I had to share the good weigh in news with ya'll!!!!! ~hugs all around~

STAR ~ well, a loss is better than a gain for sure. Glad your car is repaired; thank GOD for talented husbands. Oh, it is very :hot: in Arizona, isn't it? It was that hot in Mexico when I went there as a teen, but it didn't bother me so much then. I thought we had it bad in the 90's this week -- but for this area, that is smelteringly hot. All this heat will ruin our reputation for being nice and cool Canada. DH and I both just had showers so we could cool off after painting all day.

About your DS and sibling being left alone to try his wings at independance; is there not a neighbour, or church person who could check in on them for you? I bet there are people who could & would -- if you just knew about them. Will send up some prayers about that too ...

GARY ~ YES, it was nice to go up there; we've been so busy this year. We are delaying stuff there until next year, but just enjoying it when we can. DH put the old steps back up on our camping trailer, so we were able to get in again. We have ordered a new lawnmower; should arrive this weekend.

SO, yesterday we cleaned out 2+ large bags of garbage & washed out all the kitchen cupboards and the bathroom; and today, we painted the entire kitchen, but some of it needs a second coat tomorrow as it was worse than we thought. Then we'll tackle the hallway and/or a bedroom next.

SPECIAL PRAYER REQUEST ~ We need you to pray about something for us regarding our new house; the old tenants did not turn in all their keys to us and the wife was seen breaking in to our house last night by neighbours. When we got there this AM, the back door was ajar (we had double checked all the locks) and was left open all night long. Nothing seems to be missing; and we didn't take anything of value over there yet (except the paint supplies). Anyhow, I went to her house but she wouldn't come to the door and another girl just went into this "I don't know nothing speal" ... so we asked her nicely to pass on this message -- that now that we own the house, the old tenants (nor their family or friends) are not supposed to be going in there. A friend of DH's is going to put deadbolts on for us tomorrow (if he's feeling well enuff); we had bought them already, but DH couldn't find his hole saw tool to install them. I hope that just being seen & identified is enuff to ward them away for now, but am praying for them anyways.

We'll be painting all week and yes, I'm already sore; but I take lots of 5 minutes breaks and a lunch rest ... so off I go to rest up now; thanks ... Rosebud :flow2:

Roebud,changing the locks should do the trick. Praying that the old owners will stay away from YOUR house.

July is over so....

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