RONNI ~ that's a lovely picture of your Dad; so handsome in his tux (thanks for sharing that with us). What you are feeling is very common; the disbelief factor hangs on for quite some time. You find yourself thinking or saying, "I just can't believe he/she is gone". Just last night, I commented to DH that it's hard to believe that my mother has been gone for 18 years, becuz it seems like it was yesterday. Time has flown by so quickly.
She died suddenly, so it wasn't expected at all; we had to rush over 400 miles for her funeral/memorial down south. It felt like a whirlwind; and I kept asking DH "was it real?" Of course, he kept reassuring me that it was; and that was that. My siblings were so sad; and so quiet (all except for the youngest; as they were so close and alike too). I just kept hugging her as long as she needed (until she was all cried out). I think everyone was still in shock at that point; stunned really.
Our mother was a very vibrant, talented lady; kinda like the matriarch of the family and the loss had a huge impact on the family (she was like the glue that held everything together). I told my brother that now everyone would have to learn how to fly on their own; and they did, but not until after a lot of stumbles, falls, and even crashes.
The place was packed and didn't have enuff seatings and they had to open up all their extra rooms some distance away (and that wasn't even all the people that were her friends). Some didn't know until long after that she had even passed; it was hard to call everyone they knew over her lifetime (co-workers, friends, etc).
With time, you will feel better; but you will still cry now & then. You'll remember their laugh, their wit, their voice, their gifts & talents -- and yes, even their faults too; but as time goes on, you do cry less. DH was reminiscing about both his parents being gone; and I told him that now that my Dad & stepmother are older and getting sick so often, you kinda feel like you're walking on eggshells wondering how long you have with them. You hope & pray that they have more time.
DAD called, and since they have to stay closer to home for health reasons and becuz they are landlords; they will only be coming once this year in August. I told him that we would rather they rest and get their health back; and told him to take it easy (but he likes to keep busy). Oh well ...
You'll get through it RONNIE; we all will. Prayers going up for peace & strength for you during this time. Wow, you have flowers up already; we have too much snow in our south side yet, but soon the west may melt so they can come up. I asked DH not to put any more snow on that garden so they can.
Gotta go serve dinner; take care ... Rosebud
Last edited by Justwant2Bhealthy; 03-22-2011 at 06:19 PM.
She keeps poking around in there...doctor said she was sure to arrive yesterday after he had my dil come in since she has been in labor so long....doctor had her come back in today and said all is well, she just isn't quite ready....and seriously what are the chances she was really gonna come on her due date?
RONNI ~ Did your father not want you to have a "family gathering" or a funeral because he didn't want people fussing over him? Sounds like a pretty good guy since you loved him so much. How would it be if you had a "celebration" for him like we do for my mom with the Grammi Judi Chili Celebration. Something simple, just family and friends over for an easy meal...we make it potluck...I make the chili and Angie makes one too....if it feels right to say something about him fine, if not go about your gathering having a good time visiting. Do you really think he would mind that?
My wife and kids know that as far as I am concerned they can do whatever they want. I want my body to go to research at the college here, Angie too...I told them they can have a BBQ, have a memorial at church...whatever THEY want to do...'cause it won't be about me...I will be in paradise! The only thing I ask is that they try to make it a happy occasion...because they too KNOW that I will be having a great day with our LORD!
Hi Everyone...I'm new here. Some background info, I was raised in a Christian family, pretty much from high school to about a month ago I was either questioning my faith or not ready to give my life to Jesus. I visited a nice church about a month ago and surrendered my life to Jesus.
Recently, I've been thinking alot about the "idols" I have in my life....all of the things I "worship" other than God. I've realized that my appearance and my weight are obsessions of mine. I do need to lose weight but I obsess over it and I obsess over my appearance.
I want to focus on losing weight and becoming healthy and feeling better about myself...but I want to do it with the glory of God. Any suggestions or encouragement?
......
I want to focus on losing weight and becoming healthy and feeling better about myself...but I want to do it with the glory of God. Any suggestions or encouragement?
Stick around....we will always be here to help.....ask anything of us you wish
I think that you're doing it for the very best reason. Personally, there's an element of vanity involved (buying vestments right off the rack!), but at its best, my WW experience is all about being obedient and faithful, taking care of my body so that it can continue to serve the One who saved me.
Which reminds me: here's a pic of me in my brand new black preaching robe, down 16 pounds and three dress sizes!
Hi Tayde Welcome! This is a great group ,you will grow to love them. They have helped me more than they will ever know.
Tonight God taught me a good lesson. I could not find my cat Rufuss and he always comes home at night, he hunts all day long. Could not find him been outside for two hours and I stopped and prayed and I have never had a pray answered so soon .I was in the store room today and he was in there! What a relief I would of been up and down the road all night looking for him!
Ronni, I know the sadness you are going thru bless your heart, I lost my Dad and my Mama, but my sister and I were so close when she went it really dug a hole in my heart. Thou she is gone sometimes I feel her so near can not explain it, I can hear her laughter, it always made me laugh and we would have to go in separate rooms to stop laughing it was so contagious, we would laugh till we had tears. I loved her and I still miss her, we had the same Birthday except she was 15 years old when I was born.
I love your flowers so pretty! I had some little white ones on the south side blooming in the cold weather!That is also a great picture of your Dad.
Gary how do you donate your body to colleges for research? I have heard of it being done but never heard how or where to get the papers.
Gary, My friend does not want no funeral she wants to be took straight to the grave side and buried ,no grave site funeral either. She said If you want to visit me come by while I am alive and give me flowers now so I can enjoy them don't wait till I am dead. She said I don't want people goking at me when I am laying in my casket and she wants a wooden box nothing fancy either. I said Ok...not even a dinner or celebration No she said. If you want to do that you can do that to while I am alive so I gave her a 80th birthday party and invited everyone!
Thank you all for sharing your grief stories with me-it helps a LOT to know I'm not alone.
Bootsie-Body donation is fairly simple. I found the info on-line for Dad when he started thinking about it. It should be easy if there's a medical school in your state. Indiana University takes bodies free of charge to the family as long as they are in Indiana (otherwise there is a transport fee). There are some rules-the body must be viable for research/study, so certain diseases would prohibit a body donation. No organs could be donated, except eyes, to anywhere else, which makes sense, as the med students need to know where everything is. Best thing is to look on-line for body donation and see what comes up in your state. Dad wanted to do this so that none of us would have to pay for any part of his burial. After the med school is done, the body is cremated and they will either bury the remains in their cemetery or return them to the family. We are having Dad's remains returned to me, so we can bury him with his parents-we also found out that the cemetery they're in does not charge anything to put the container of ashes on a family plot, which would make Dad very happy.
Rosebud-thank you. It seems that most of my family is passing away in a sudden manner. Don't know what you think, but DH and I decided it's just a bit harder to deal with when the death is unexpected. His dad lingered with the cancer and, hate to say it but, it was a relief to see him go and know he was no longer suffering. My dad's death was so unexpected that we were all just floored. I remember my aunt saying over and over that this wasn't the way it was supposed to turn out. Their parents (my grandparents) were killed when a semi ran over their car 18 years ago and, like you, it still seems unreal. They were also the glue that helped hold our family together. Now, my dear aunt is taking up the reins, so to speak. She just wants to keep us all close, so she still has some part of her parents and brother, and, of course, we just love her and want to have her around as long as we can!
Gary-maybe I answered somewhere in all the rest of that, but Dad's main objective was to keep any of us from having to spend any money on him, as he had very little insurance and pretty much died penniless. My cousin joked that Dad did things the way he wanted and made sure the last check he wrote bounced! ( it wasn't really that bad, but you know what I mean) Dad had also been very badly affected by his parents' funeral and the expense of it. The funeral director seemed to think that they'd be reimbursed by the trucking company, so charged rates much higher than anyone thought they should be, when, in fact, there's some law in IN that keeps companies from having to pay for "work-related" deaths. So, long story short, Dad did not want any of us to ever pay another funeral home for anything ever again. He also hated how people would stand around talking about the deceased and cry and be emotional, but we did that anyway, so we'll probably have a family 'gathering' when we bury his ashes and hope he can forgive us
AuntLoopy-you look great in your photo!!
Well, sorry I went on and on and on and ..... Hope you all have a wonderful day and that things are starting to 'spring' up! God bless!
Welcome , Atleastmytoesarethin! Hope I see lots and lots of you around here.
I checked it out on donating my body to science and there are so many now it is getting like which one do I choose! I am going to really have to do some checking out all of them. My grandson is going to become a chripractor,oh this computer don't know nomore than I do how to spell it a Back doctor in other words, may ask him what he thinks.
HANNAH ~ it's nice to have a fellow CANADIAN join us on our thread here. The weather is cold here too; and we still have lots of snow, as we had a big storm recently. The temps are colder this week, but we have been blessed with lovely too!
TAYDE ~ Congrats on your new decision for Christ! One thing that I love is that we are encouraged in the scriptures; and reminded that we don't have to worry or be anxious about what we eat or wear (see Luke 12; also in Matthew too). GOD wants us to be healthy & well, but he doesn't want us to worry about it. We have been blessed with lots of healthy food in our society so we can eat well and get healthier too. There are some threads in this forum that you may find helpful too.
ATLEASTMYTOESRSKINNY ~ glad that you found us over here; come back often. Did you see our PRAYER WARRIORS THREAD in this forum? We'd love you to join us there; we can always use more prayer partners! Am sending up some prayers for you too!
GARY ~ that's so true; not many babies arrive right on their due dates, esp the first ones ...
AUNTY ~ your new robe looks fine ... not too flashy; just right!
RONNIE ~ you're welcome; I think sharing our experiences can have a healing effect. Also, I do agree with you & your DH -- and for the exact same reasons too.
BOOTSIE ~ glad that you found your kitty; I always call on the Lord and His angels (mine too) to help us find things that are lost, esp our fine furry friends. The Lord knows how much we care about them; He does too!
Evening all! Sorry I haven't taken time to read the post, hope you all are well. I'm tired. Had one class this morning then on to work, didnt' get off til almost 7. I work in a tuxedo shop and it's starting to get busy with proms.
I did get to the chiro today. My lower back is giving me problems. Hurts.
I have done pretty good with my eating choices. Did some extra walking today. I need to get a pedometer.
Hello everyone,and thank you for the welcome! I rather bombed out this week. Not good at all for calorie intake. Came down with a sinus infection. Just wanted to eat all the time. Something going down my throat seemed to ease the itchyness. Wrong choices of course! It is still very windy and cold here so I can't go walking until I am over this sinus problem. Gained 2 pounds. I am hoping that is fluid and not fat! I have been drinking tons of water to soothe my throat so perhaps it is the fluid! I have to get my act together soon though...summer is coming even to cold New Brunswick! I wonder, do floor exercises really help. Some say yes and others say no! I thought I would give them a try while I am house bound.
**** I can do all things through Christ who strengtheneth me****
RONNI ~ that's a lovely picture of your Dad; so handsome in his tux (thanks for sharing that with us). What you are feeling is very common; the disbelief factor hangs on for quite some time. You find yourself thinking or saying, "I just can't believe he/she is gone". Just last night, I commented to DH that it's hard to believe that my mother has been gone for 18 years, becuz it seems like it was yesterday. Time has flown by so quickly. 
.....
paradise! 
HANNAH ~ it's nice to have a fellow 
too!
TAYDE ~ Congrats on your new decision for Christ! One thing that I love is that we are encouraged in the scriptures; and reminded that we don't have to worry or be anxious about what we eat or wear (see Luke 12; also in Matthew too). GOD wants us to be healthy & well, but he doesn't want us to worry about it. We have been blessed with lots of healthy food in our society so we can eat well and get healthier too. There are some threads in this forum that you may find helpful too.
ATLEASTMYTOESRSKINNY ~ glad that you found us over here; come back often. Did you see our PRAYER WARRIORS THREAD in this forum? We'd love you to join us there; we can always use more prayer partners! Am sending up some prayers for you too! 
BARGOO ~ 
