I'm just plain old discouraged. I'm ready to give up. No matter how hard I try...exercising, watching what I eat, etc., I get hungry and have more than I really need. I don't know why I do this to myself. When I'm having a second helping, I don't even think about how rotten I will feel later.

Then I go and kick myself even more by getting on the scale later. Why do I do this to myself? I just don't know what to do. I'm 52 years old and everything I read says it's from menopause, but am I doing this because it's menopause or because I think I'm supposed to do this.

And why is it that some people my age don't suffer like this and the weight falls off? I just don't know what to do.

I also made a promise to God and my husband to get healthy and lose this weight. That was 3 months ago and I've lost and gained the same 5 pounds since.

I'm sorry you're feeling discouraged. It's never easy to make a life style change and there are bound to be bad days. Perhaps your doctor can offer some suggestions for menopause and weight loss? Good luck and even though you promised God and your husband to lose weight, i hope it's something you also really really want to do.

I agree that it is something you must want to do. Do you want to be healthy ? Do you want to feel better ? Are you on a diet plan ? Have you tried counting calories ?

Oh boy, something I really want to do? I avoid mirrors and reflections in windows. My poor kids don't have any pictures of me from the last 4 years. Yes, this is something I want to do. I just don't know why it's so hard for me. The saying of "Being overweight is hard, losing weight is hard, maintaining is hard - pick your hard," is an understatement for me.

My husband loves me just the way I am. And so does God. My husband is worried about my health more than anything. He is happy that I approached him and asked him to pray for me to lose weight. So I wrote it down in a written agreement between my husband, me and God to do this thing. We signed and dated it. It's a vow I made and I want to keep it.

Yes, I really do want to lose weight.

P.S. I'm not going to a doctor about this. They just poo poo it away and suggest drugs. That's not an option for me.

P.P.S.S. I've been doing the Weight Watcher flex plan for 5 years. I lost all the weight consistently within 12 pounds of goal. Then a family tragedy occurred and I gained it all back. Now I'm stuck. Yes, I'm doing flex and walking/jogging 3-4 times a week.

May I make a "step away from the scale" suggestion?

Yes, losing weight is an important part of being healthy... but it is NOT the be all-end all. It is more important to have a handle on eating healthy & moving consistently.

Perhaps focusing on those two important aspects & putting the scale aside for a month would help?

Make a chart. Give yourself a check-mark or a sticker for the days that you follow your food plan, and a check-mark or a sticker for the days that you follow your exercising plan.

Not looking at the scale may help you see the benefits of eating & exercising well on their own.

When you lost the weight with WW, were you going to meetings? And are you now?

Hi JamieJo! (I had to go to work, sorry.) No, meetings aren't available to me. I have a WW@Home kit. It worked before, but now it's a whole new ballgame.

I'm sorry you feel so discouraged. I have been in the same fix many times and for many years. I spent this last year fluctuating over the same 10 pounds and just got more and more disgusted with myself, but I kept coming to 3fc and visiting and learning. I've not been on WW since I was a teenager (many, many years ago!) so I don't know what that entails, but this time, I decided to go back to calorie counting and it's working! But, I also learned about maximum volume with minimum calorie count, so I'll eat 2 cups lettuce with a whole tomato, and a whole cuke, and peppers, but only 2T of my salad dressing. I also read Dr. David Katz's "The Flavour Point Diet" and altered my eating so I try to avoid things that have both salt and sugar in them (I read packages very carefully) and avoid too many different types of flavors in any meal and I follow the recommendations for eating every 2-3 hours. I really think that's what's making it work this time. I'm really never hungry and the weight is finally coming off.

I don't know if any of this will help, but thought I'd share. I really recommend the Katz book, but it is a hard diet to follow to the letter (that's why I'm using the info and counting calories). Mostly, don't be so hard on yourself.

One question: are you on hormones for the meno? When the doc put me on hrt, I was hungry allllllll the time! It was also causing heart palps, so I went off the hormones and did much better with my eating.

Keep posting. We're all here to help each other

I know how easy it is to get discouraged and want to just give up. It truly is a battle every day to stay on track, and sometimes it's hard to keep fighting. But, you've taken the first step, which is to admit your feelings and get them out. Now you can feed off the encouragement and support of the ladies here to get back on the wagon and keep going. I was in your shoes a few weeks ago, and I know I never would have made it through if it wasn't for the support I received here. Hang in there, hon, and lean on us. That's why we're here.

Thank you all SO much! I do need to do some more things. One is to hide my scale and stop measuring my worth by the number on it.

I will try to find the Katz book.

I'm not on hormones. Even if I wanted them, I don't think I'm a candidate because of a history of breast cancer in the family.

Thank you all again. You are very helpful and supportive! Sometimes a great big hug does the trick. Thanks.

Hey mamaduck - I just had my hubby hide our scale last night and vow to bring it out only on Sundays! I'm terrible with that number on the scale! If it starts going down, I always think I get to treat myself...and then it just goes back up!

You say "upper midwest" is your location. I'm in Wisconsin. Are we close?

That sounds like a good idea about the scale, JamieJo!

Yes, close enough. I'm in South Dakota. It's 40 degrees now. Getting chilly in the morning. But the high is gonna be 75!!

It's about 50 here today and I think planning on staying that way. I always get so discouraged when it starts getting cold because I can't get outside and walk and such.

I did WW once and it worked VERY well....had a baby and tried it again and couldn't get myself motivated the second time around. Not sure what was different. I think we just need to do things that keep us interested and motivated. Are you measuring everything out?

I think this says it all. They love you and just want you to be healthy and happy living your life to it's fullest potential. It's not either of them you need to do this for, it's yourself so you can live a long, healthy life doing what you were called to do.

I was the same with South Beach...it's so much easier the first time around, I think. BTW, I am in northeast WI. I see a couple other Badgers on here. Good to know I am in good company on this journey. I've just re-started and can feel your pain with the discouragement. Probably not wise to try right before the holidays, but then again maybe it will help to stem the flow of calories past my lips.
On a note of encouragement, I agree hiding the scale (except for once a week, maybe) can be key. I, too, fall into the trap of measuring my worth by it. What a joke!
"The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17
That's what's real!
Jess