THANK YOU!!! You don't know how much I needed to hear something like this today. It means a lot. :hug: My hubby and I are on this journey together too. We want to be healthy for our children and live to maybe see grandchildren one day (God willing, lol). I don't go out and drink either so I guess we can be boring together. haha

I think you're right about the jealousy and willpower points. I could see that being true. But it's on them, not me. I've learned in life that the only one I can control is ME. ;)

I'm hardly an inspiration - I think someone like you is, at least to me but thanks just the same. Good luck to you. :)

I was kinda blanket-responding to a few of the posts--that paragraph was agreeing with you and touching on fitmom's quotes of the things her family would say. They either think she's vain or too obsessed, which is a common form of miscommunication when you're trying to share your interests and/or accomplishments. I'd hesitate to agree with any suspicion that they might be *jealous* (not saying you did) because that's a pretty heavy accusation to make.

I'm a queen of miscommunication so I can totally relate.

TheWalrus: You know I wasn't going to say anything BUT after re-reading your post, I have to say that I'm incredibly saddened by the fact that you've made a snap judgement on me based on my weight vs. height. If your goal was to make me feel lousy, well..congratulations b/c now I feel like crying. :( You don't even know me. For that matter, you've never even seen a photo of me and to (subtly) suggest that I could not be at optimal health is terribly presumptuous and not to mention, downright rude. You don't know my backstory or what I've been through in my life. If I'm unhealthy at this weight then so are half of my blood relatives, lol. Thinness runs in my family like obesity runs in others. I would never, ever suggest to anyone on this forum that they were less than healthy because I'm not their personal doctor. I could list my test results - i.e.: blood pressure, etc. but I feel that information is between my doctor and I. It's nobody's business. If I was truly at an unhealthy weight, I can assure you that my loving husband would've intervened with my medical doctor and I wouldn't be sitting here typing, trying to defend myself to you, a virtual stranger. Your assumption of me based on a few numbers just...saddens me and I feel sorry for you, actually. Maybe this forum is not for me after all, if I'm going to be judged instead of supported and cheered on in my journey towards wellness. That's all I have to say.

To everyone else: Thanks for listening and for the kind words of encouragement. :)

Fitmom, I'm sorry that you have taken offense at my query. There was nothing that I said that was intended to insult or offend.

Frankly, I'm a bit surprised that you have had such a strong reaction to my post.

I am not judging you or your life or your decisions or your health or anything else. You had stated that people in your life, who do know you, were making comments about your being obsessive with your exercising, which, coupled with the facts you have made available about your weight and height, made me think that perhaps the people who, again, do know and love you might be trying -- however ineffectively -- to express a legitimate concern. It is up to you (and, ideally, your physician) to decide at what weight you are happy and comfortable, as it is for all of us.

There was no judgment, no assumptions, no subtle suggestion, and no attack.

Your very welcome fitmom glad i could have throw a bit ov positivity in to your day :hug:

PS i usually dont get involved in thread discussions but i have been reading through and all i have to say is dont leave 3fc dont let it get you down :D Good Luck

I'm a little confused by this response. Being that this is a health/fitness/weight loss forum, there are going to be times when someone asks about our goal weight or our fitness goals. More often than not it comes from a place of concern and curiosity, because we can't see the poster or know the poster in person.

Since overall health and fitness is the goal, members ask (because we cannot see any other way) to see if that's where the person is going to end up.

I'm not just talking about this one thread, either. I mean ALL OVER the boards I see the question "Have you spoken to your doctor about what is healthiest for you?" We're not doctors. Even if we are, we can't give specific medical advice over the boards. So members urge others to talk to their doctors in person.

Sometimes the conversation leads that way, even if the original post has little to do with it. These are open forums. We're allowed to post and ask questions. It's encouraged that we do so politely and as kindly as possible.

Back to this thread. I saw nothing unkind said, and nothing was assumed. People reaching out in their own way to write down about what they saw. That doesn't always mean we get the answers we want, but such is the nature of any forum. Maybe we wanted a kick in the butt and everyone was giving us hugs. Maybe we wanted hugs and everyone was giving us tough love. Or we see the other side of a situation when we didn't ask for it.

It's not necessarily being unsupportive. It's just different ways of looking at things :)

Whether you realize it or not, your post came off as...judgemental, at least that's how I initially perceived it. I know I try to be incredibly sensitive on this forum b/c weight is a sensitive subject for anyone - fat, thin and everyone in-between. The question about what does my doctor think was uncalled for IMO. I'm sorry but that's the honest truth. But I'm not gonna beat a dead horse.

So, that being said, your apology is accepted and it's totally fine. I know that I'm healthy and my doctor confirms that, lol. I guess at the end of the day that's all that matters - I'm sure we can both agree on that point. In any case, no harm done. :) Let's move on.

I've always been thin, my mother was thin, my father is, etc. I was never fit - that's my goal and always will be. People (in general) think that because you weigh a certain number that you don't have any problems. That is so not true. Just because I've never been 50 lbs. overweight or whatever doesn't mean I've had an ideal life. Far from it. I get discriminated against all the time because of my weight. People don't think I'm strong enough to lift things like furniture or groceries or free weights, etc. I feel I have to constantly prove to people that just because I'm not heavier doesn't make me a weakling. I just wish people would see past my so-called 'thinness' and not judge me on my slight appearance. I am more than the number on my scale - we all are. That's all I'm saying. :)

I do the same thing. I just don't advertise the fact that I am dieting/ working out at all but I am a fairly private person.