Hi, I have a problem. I have all the time in the world to exercise and there's a park right across the street. The thing is I feel ridiculously self-conscious about exercising in public. I don't mind walking, but I don't really want to jog/run when anyone is around. I lack the stamina to jog/run without sweating, running out of breath, and generally looking like a mess.

I've been walking for a while now, but I haven't lost any weight and I've decided running might actually make a difference. So I've been trying to go at night when not as many people around (I'm that paranoid), but apparently that's when high school and college-aged boys go out to play sports.

I don't think I'd have a problem exercising in public if I were unfit... but of normal weight. But of course I'm overweight and look it, which for some reason embarrasses me to no end. Do I just have to get over it? Should I resort to waking up at 3 a.m. just to run? Have you had a similar experience?

Thanks.

Walking is great exercise, and you can ease into jogging by doing it for a minute, then continue to walk. However, you might need to look at what you're eating as well. I've lost a good percentage of my weight by only walking (with strength training as well), but I still don't jog yet. Most of weight loss comes from the kitchen.

I understand your feelings. I bit the bullet so to speak and just started one day. I first began power walking then decided I was going to run. I could only go a short distance maybe 1/10 a mile at first. I would catch my breath and go again. I decided I didn't care anymore who was or wasn't looking at me. I made it ALL ABOUT ME! Let this decision to be about YOU! You can do this. You have dealt with bigger issues than this I am certain. Put on your trainers and hit the road chick!

I am another one that is for just biting the bullet and doing it. You are out their for you health and well-being, if people are too shallow to recognize that, then their thoughts and opinions don't mean much anyway.

I had put off running for awhile because the only shorts I had to wear were so big that they would not stay up when I ran (the sheer impact of my foot hitting the ground would force my shorts from my hips to the ground in one step). I had spandex shorts from years ago, but just could not bring myself to wear them. I finally decided that I didn't care what anyone else thought, I was going out to run in my spandex shorts, and I haven't looked back since. I caught a glimpse of myself one day in the mirror when I got back from running. I was sweaty, flat hair, no make-up, my spandex shorts and tee-shirt and you know what, that glimpse of myself in the mirror looked like a normal person that just got back from running.

One last thing, I walk every day in a busy city, at a busy park in the evening, around a busy apartment complex or a busy housing development. I pass people all the time and I honestly, I rarely could even tell you anything about them...I just don't pay attention to them, I'm sure they are the same way with me.

OK, I've gotta say it -- of course you'll look sweaty and out of breath, and generally a mess. If not, then you aren't working hard enough, no matter how fit you are! I'm with the others in thinking you should bite the bullet and hit the road. I do it whenever I can and mostly, I just tell myself that the skinny folks must be surprised to see how the fat girl can run! And you'll never be a runner if you don't start, so START. Do what you can, and walk when you need to, and you'll just keep looking better and better.

People notice you much less than you think they do. It sounds harsh, but like WildThings said, how many people do you pass in a day? and how many do you really stop to think about?

Plus, I bet you if you pass people and they do notice you, they are probably thinking - Good for her, getting out and getting some exercise and doing something about it!

I had the same exact problem or "paranoia" as you describe. When I first started walking and running we actually had to cut through the desert so I wouldn't have to walk next to the traffic.

I have now incorporated the "Walk at Home" DVD's and I love it !

http://www.walkathome.com/

What we all wish we'd known in high school: It doesn't matter what "they" think. No, it REALLY REALLY doesn't matter what "they" think.

I can totally empathize with the whole paranoia thing. That's how I feel about going to the gym to work out and running around our school lake. But like other people so eloquently said, "just bite the bullet" and get out there and do your thing! (; Whenever I feel paranoid about working out or running, I just keep reminding myself, "It doesn't matter how much better other people are at running than me, it's all about ME doing MY best!" So just don't let others get to you. (: Also, if the people are strangers anyways, then it really doesn't matter what they think or say because they're unimportant to you, and you probably won't see them again. I know you can overcome this paranoia. Best of luck to you! (:

I've occasionally had negativity in the past while exercising, and unless I'm being seriously down on myself, I generally find it more baffling than anything. But I don't even worry about it now. Most people are more positive and supportive anyway. Life is too short to let other people get in the way of us being healthy and happy.

And not sure what eating plan you have been following but you might want to go over that again to make sure you are eating close to what you should be. That can cause non-movement on the scales too.

For most of my first 6 weeks of running I was doing Couch to 5K and I did it at the high school track because, like you, I felt fat and embarassed. I didn't want to be the fat girl who was trying to run--it would either be riducule or knowing glances....."Look at the fat girl trying to better herself! How brave!" That's what I feared, and that kept me at the track and stagnant for a long time.

I finally decided that if I wanted to grow, I had to hit the road. I put on my power bra and just went for it and you know what? Nobody cares. Nobody looks at me, as far as I can tell. When runners go past my house, I don't think, "Oh, s/he's fat!" or "She has messy hair and looks terrible!". I think, "Oh, a jogger is passing by." And I think that's what most people think.

When I get back, I look like ****. My hair is plastered down. I'm sweaty and hot and I suspect that I probably don't smell good. But that's running for ya, and it's nothing that a quick shower can't fix.

Be brave. Just start out with a tiny bit of jogging to see how it feels. If you don't like it, you don't have to keep doing it. But I think you might like it. Good luck!

See, the thing is I'm not even "fat" fat. I'm 5'6 and I weigh 145 lbs, which according to the BMI calculator is borderline overweight but technically still "normal." But all my life I've always been "the fat one," and all those moments in PE when all the kids snickered at me every time I ran or did jumping jacks still haunt me, and maybe that's the reason I particularly care about what high school kids think. I know I shouldn't care what anyone thinks, period, but then here I am trying to lose weight when I'm at a perfectly "healthy" weight.

bhujiko, I know exactly where you're coming from.

I joined the YMCA several years ago. There were a couple of different reasons I joined it besides convenience, and one of those reasons is because there were all ages, sizes, and shapes there. I haven't been to a commercial gym in many years, but my recollection of most of them was that the great majority of people there were hard bodies and I was so intimidated by them. (They may or may not be like that any longer; I'm just saying how it was years ago when I tried them out).

When I went to the dietitian I made the comment that I hated exercise, but I found walking on the elevated track the most palatable for me. She said walking is great, but you might want to find another form of exercise as well simply to break up the monotony of the track. I said "Well, I do love the pool, but I just can't see myself in there right now." Then she asked why, and I indicated my reluctance for anyone to see me in a bathing suit at my current weight. She looked me right in the eye and said "You're kidding, right??" and I said no. She then asked me to just observe some of the classes and the activity in the pool whenever I had a chance.

After I walk I sit down and have a cup of coffee in the lobby and the pool is right off the lobby, so I can see the classes going on. I've been not only watching what they do to see if it's something I might enjoy, but then I also realized that I was comparing myself to them in both age and size...and then I realized what the dietitian was driving at. Yes, most of them in my age group are bigger than me, but I don't think about their size. Rather, what I started thinking is that they're all there for the same reason - to do something good for themselves and improve their health and appearance. And then I realized why she said what she did, and I understood then how silly I was being.

So I'm going to head to the end-of-summer sales and do something I haven't done in years - buy me a bathing suit and dive on in! I do love to swim, and we have several hours of open swim as well as all kinds of classes.

So I say do not worry what others think of you; instead, think about your own health and well-being and concentrate on what you're doing to improve it. And I agree with others that most everyone out there isn't thinking anything about the other people around them.

I do have a park that's a little bit closer to me than the Y and I used to walk there, but it got so crowded and they let people skate, ride bikes, etc on it so it really wasn't any good for walking. My neighborhood is extremely hilly so it was (and still is) a struggle for me to walk in it, so I had to find an alternative. The YMCA is the best option for me, and I can also go to any other YMCA when I'm traveling if there's not a gym in the hotel.

Do you know what I see when I go to the gym? I see lots of skinny people doing exercises THE WRONG WAY!!! And then I realize that eventhough I'm overweight and was out of shape I STILL knew more about nutrition and exercise than most skinny people. In fact it's hard for me to go to the gym and watch people do so many bad exercises that will lead to injuries. I just want to go over and tell them how to do it but then again who would ever take a fatso like me seriously about fitness?

I'm afraid that even if you're not overweight you're struggling with the same issue we're all struggling with: Insecurity. We've all been there through it and most of us are a lot bigger than you. There's only one way to get over it and that's to go out there and do it. As soon as you're out there a day or 2 you'll see that it's absolutely no big deal to work out in front of other people.

I felt like you did. It made me go out & exercise as early in the morning as I could on weekends, when the sun was just coming up. (The park was at its most beautiful then, but that was just an added bonus.) People like to sleep a little on the weekends, so I didn't see a lot of them. Mostly dog walkers. But it was the same ones again & again, because people (or dogs) seem to have routines. I started recognizing the dogs before I knew the people. We just nodded at each other. I knew I didn't look attractive, but neither do most people walking the dog at that hour. Familiarity made it okay.

Now here's the clincher. There was one woman who looked quite fit & she always took out her beagle. After maybe a year of me walking, then power walking, then power walking with jogging intervals in this same park, on this same trail, seeing this woman with her beagle, along with the other regulars, this woman stopped me one day & spoke to me. (It was like someone was breaking a taboo! We regulars all nodded to each other, and sometimes called out greeting or something about the weather or the dog, but I never stopped to speak -- I was set on keeping my heart rate up continuously!) Do you know what this initimidatingly fit woman said? She said: "Good for you! You look great!" Well, I had dropped maybe 40 pounds by then, but it still amazed me that a near-stranger would compliment me. It made me feel a little shy but it was so much the opposite of what I'd **believed** people were thinking, seeing the fat girl walking so ridiculously fast & now & then breaking into a run before giving up & stopping.

The thing is, you are probably meaner to yourself about your looks when walking or running than anyone else over the age 15 possibly would ever be. You've probably got a tape loop running in your head from your old gym classes. Or have memorized something poisonous that someone once said to you. You need to make that tape self-destruct, hiss into steam & melt away. You need to re-read those old Nike ads that were so inspirational from years ago. I couldn't believe they were selling sneakers, they were so powerful & true. You are doing this for you. Forget what the others are doing & why they're in the park. Just think of you & your purpose & what you are accomplishing.