3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community - i have a teen health problem...

Hey there --

I've seen posts from you before, and they've always concerned me. You seem AWFULLY concerned about your weight when there's not much to worry about. Your mom may be right, you may be working too hard to lose weight when you may not need to lose at all. That can definitely affect your period. But then again, at your age, it's not unusual to be irregular, and there may be another medical reason for it.

You are trying to do a lot all by yourself by crusing the internet. There is a lot of good information here, but there is also a lot of MISinformation. Some people have wacky ideas, and of course not everyone's body is like yours. So, you may be picking up some "facts" and trying out things that aren't suitable for you and your situation.

It's good that you are trying to eat healthy and be active. But, you are still growing, and what's appropriate for a full-grown adult is not necessarily what's appropriate for you. What you need to find out is if your weight is currently appropriate for your height & stage of development, and if your eating and exercise habits are OK. If you are not eating properly, you could be damaging your metabolism, which will give you real life-long weight problems. You could be stunting your growth, and wind up being shorter and more frail than you would have otherwise. You could also be damaging your health in ways that won't show up until you're much older. And, you could be developing an obsession that will hurt every aspect of your life and can become very hard to control.

Talk to your mom. Not in a whiney way, but a serious, grown-up way. Tell her that you want to go to the doctor for a full check-up to see what your body is doing in terms of growth, if you need to adjust your eating and activity levels, and if there is a reason your periods have stopped. (BTW, the term is "amenorrhea".) If your periods have stopped because you've lost too much weight or aren't eating enough or are exercising too much, then your doctor can help you figure out how to fix it. If they've stopped for other reasons, you may need treatment. Ask your doctor for a referral to a dietitian who specializes in teen nutrition. Tell them that you want to eat healthy and take care of your body, but you're not sure how to do that, you've learned a lot of conflicting information, and you want some grown-up, professional guidance. You may need to "unlearn" a lot of the things you've learned -- both about your body and appearance and about nutrition and exercise -- and develop a new way of looking at things. But, if you do that, then you will have a healthy relationship with food and a healthy regard for your body, and these things are the cornerstone of happiness.

I know it's hard when you are young, but try not to be so obsessed about your appearance. The fact that you think 6 pounds is preventing you from wearing shorts or a bikini is sad to me. Love your body for what it is, not because it may not look like the bodies in magazines. If your friends are super-critical of themselves and other girls, try to remember that every body has good points and bad points. No one is perfect, human beings -- even healthy, strong ones -- come in a wide variety of shapes and sizes. The magazines and TV only show you a very small percentage of the possibilities.

If your mom and/or the doctor don't give you the help you think you need, then visit your local library and ask the librarian to help you find good books on teen nutrition and body issues. Tell her you don't necessarily want a "diet" book, but you want to learn how to eat in a healthy, normal way, and you want to learn about how to know if you are overweight or skinny or just right. If you do that, and you don't have your period for another couple of months, then insist your mom, dad, or other relative take you to the doctor.

Good luck, and don't worry -- you'll get all this sorted out. Just don't let yourself get too wrapped up in how you look, and about every little bite you put in your mouth.