Hi everyone,

Thanks for the book titles MyGirl, I agree that I wouldn't want to be on tv and have an attack. Probably wanted us to see how bad it can get??

Keeping busy is very helpful, sometimes I think I try to hard to stay busy. I just wish I could relax more often. Jennifa, I have heard of that book before but I have still to order it. I went to the library today and 6 of 7 books I requested were in. You all know what I will be doing! LOL

Gobbie, just think of your obession with your dogs death as another symptom of your anxiety. It is so hard to believe how anxiety comes out of us. I am sure once you get on your new meds and it has a chance to work things will improve for you. Remember this is just temporary.

Well have a good night.

Daytona

Things will get better
 

Hi everyone. Been keeping up on the post but having trouble responding. :( Sorry.

Gobbie, the fear of losing your dog is not uncommon. My cat has a kidney disease and it has given me something to freak out over. That is part of the obsessive compulsive disorder I suffer from. I was told my the doctor and therapist that o.c.d. can go hand in hand with panic/aniexty. I get this overwhelming fear that he is going to die. Even that something will happen in our home while I'm away. It can take me up to 1 or 2 hours, just to leave the house because I fixate on making sure nothing is wrong in the house. I check the stove hundreds of times to make sure all the burners are off and that the oven is off as well. I also check light sockets to make sure nothing is touching them. I check the alarm clocks to make sure they are off. When I'm in the shower, I get out tons of times because I think something terrible has happened to him (my cat). These fears are not logical. Then again, neither is the stuff we think about that causes this panic. The medication I'm on has really helped. I still go through some of it but not near as bad. I'm actually able to leave the house within 30 to 60 minutes now and it's still getting better.

Daytona, thanks for asking about me. I appreciate your support and the support of all the ladies.

I'm still having some problems with the panic and the depression but it is getting better. I noticed a big difference when the doctor increased the celexa from 20 mg to 40 mg a day. We may still have to introduce another but we'll see.

Also, I'm still having trouble with concentrating. I was told that this is normal and part of the depression. It should clear up also;)

I talked to my medical doctor also and he and the pyschiatrist (?) have agreed that I may return to work next month. I asked him because I've been off since the middle of January for medical problems when the depression, panic and o.c.d. came to a head. I heard from an old boss of mine that she has a position in an office that I would be good at. She wanted to know if I'd be interested. I said yes. She would need me to be back to work by the first of August. When I saw my doctor I told him about this. He was thinking a little later than this but I convinced him that I was ready. It has really given me something to work towards.

I even went and had my hair done:) That is something I haven't done since December. Let me tell you....my family was having a fit over all the grey hair:lol: Truthfully looking decent has been the last thing from my mind.

:o Sorry this is soooo long. I just wanted to let you all know that there is definate hope out there. The darkness does fade and light will come in:)

I can't thank you enough for all the encouragement and support. God blessed me big time when I found this group. You are great!!!

:wave:

Jan

Hi all,

Wow Janney, things must be looking better for you. When we start to think about our appearence even a little with this type of problems it is a good sign. Are you taking additional meds for your ocd? I saw a show on tv about ocd and it sure is an awful thing to have to deal with. What makes it so hard is you know you are being unrealistic but you still have the thoughts. I think it must be the anxiety that keeps it going? Anyway hope you are able to get back to work and think about other things, maybe that will help even more.

I am going to try and use the smiles next post, they are so cute, I just havn't taken the time to learn how to use them. Have a good weekend everyone.

Daytona

I can see clearly now the rain has gone
 

hey everyone,

I was reminded of that lovely song, "it's gonna a bright, sun shiney day..." forget who sings it...sometimes I just love to listen to my favorite songs they help to cheer me up and get me in the right mood for moving forward...maybe I should come up with a list of inspirational songs!

I've been trying to watch my diet and ensure I include more fruit and vegies...my walking has been more frequent these days I haven't lost more than 4 pounds in total but at least I haven't put on any...but it's so easy to fall in to the trap of comfort eating.

I now need to move into the next gear....and really accelerate my weightloss...it's so easy to get caught up in symptoms of anxiety and panic and worry so much about when and if the next attack will happen that I forget about my diet!

So this coming week it is vigorous walking for me every day! :dizzy:

jennifa
it's good to have you back, wow you have been busy! and that has to be a good thing.

gobbie,
give yourself some time to adjust to your new meds...be patient and you will see good results...take it one step at a time.

janney,
glad to hear you are heading back to work soon, that will really help with your self esteem, also when we are busy and concentrating on other things we can change the focus from our anxiety (if only for a little while) and that's a bonus.

daytona,
you are our real pillar of strength...I'm always happy to read your posts...hey, maybe you can do some reviews for the books you're reading.

Take care,
MyGirl :wave:

Dear all -

You really are a great group.

I am really glad that Oprah and others are enlightening the world about these disorders. There are a lot of
children out there who will benefit. I just hope that we can improve the treatments at the same time. I have
read about exposure response therapy and I think that is driving a lot of people away from getting treatment. I
saw these children with OCD on 60 minutes and what they did to "cure" them made me cry. It was awful.
It reminds me of the "cure a kid smoking by making them smoke an entire carton of cigarettes" logic. No wonder
self help books are so popular. Right now I'm on Deepak Chopra's Perfect Weight book. There is a certain
part that is very interesting - it's how the universe is running not on our own egos but on a kind of dance that
takes place between all the people and things in it. It is humbling but it is also very effective at fighting
that pesky unaware eating that can add so many pounds.

Janney, congratulations on your new job! You can do it. I highly recommend the Fear book. It might help
you find some peace. It isn't "what's wrong with you" based, it's more "here you are in the world, and here's
how you can choose to respond to it". The book is Buddhist-based but not preachy at all. I'm not Buddhist
but it helped me a lot.

MyGirl, thanks for the welcome! Hope you are doing ok.

Daytona, thanks also for your support. It is nice to know you are there. Happy reading! Let us know if you find
anything good.

Hope everybody has a good week!

I'm back on track...
 

Good morning everyone,
I'm having so many ups and downs going off of Paxil that I'm beginning to feel like a yo-yo; but right now I'm up! The BuSpar was started this a.m., but they tell me I'll probably feel some effect within 7-10 days and feel much better in 3-4 weeks. I think just the realization that I'm doing something positive gives me the "up" feeling.
I am finally on track with WW. I've rejoined so many times that even WW doesn't know how far back I go. However, each time I've rejoined over the past year, I've let my depression and anxieties take over and just gave up saying, "It's too hard now, I'll do it later." Right! Anyway, I've been going four weeks and skipped one of those. Had a big gain when I checked in Saturday, but I went home and started doing some positive things--cleaning up areas that were adding to my depression; closet, front garden, drawers. Then on Sunday I received a major disappointment and instead of eating my way out, I went back to bed and slept. I had 1/2 a WW breakfast bar and took my meds, then went back to sleep. I started getting hungry and ate a big PREMEASURED lunch, then I read until dinner time. I made a big batch of stirfry and had the one point hot dog and one point hot dog bun for the first time and they were good (shock, shock). Then I still had enough points left over to have several snacks during the evening and yogurt bars. I know my regimen wasn't exactly kosher, but I desperately needed one day that was absolutely faithful to the WW diet. I did it. Now I'm on day 2 and still doing well at journaling--that helps a lot.
Maybe if I can keep this up one day at a time, I'll be able to work my way out of this depression. I'm still counting on the meds to help with the feelings of anxiety that came on when I gave up the Paxil.
This forum has also helped with the "atta girl"'s and all the positive information you give here. Thank you sooooooo much.

How do I get information on how to get a small .jpg icon to use on the left side of these messages? I must have missed that part of the intro. I'm afraid that if I put the file on under "Attach file" I'll have it in the middle of the message or something.
:rolleyes:

Hi everyone,

Good job gobbie on staying on w/w for an entire day!! Sometimes you just have to prove to yourself you CAN do it. I am taking Buspar for anxiety and it seems to help me. I noticed the difference in about 4 days, the best thing about it was no major side effects. I heard some people get terrible headaches, I just get a little dizzy about 1/2 hour after I take it. No big deal. Hope you have the same positive results. One day at a time is all any of us can do, it is especially hard for us anxiety ridden types, we want to know everything now, I have very little patience LOL.

Jennifa, I agree we need to put more research into mental health issues, sometimes the cure sounds worse than the illness!! It is great so many big stars like Oprah, Patty Duke, Mrs Gore etc tell us about their problems, it helps to know we are not alone. I am so thankful for these boards as well. I am going to order the Fear Book when I am done here, I have heard so many good things about it.

MyGirl, how is the walking coming? You are right, diet sometimes seems to be the last thing on our minds when we are up set. However, being over weight does nothing toward making me a happier person so I try to remind myself of that when temptation strikes!! I am not always successful with that one.

Janney, I have a Shihtzu (dog) that has kidney disease also, I have to give him IV fluids two times a week, they found out he had this when he was only 1 year old. Good news he is now 3 1/2 years old, so don't let your ocd symptoms cause you undo worry. There is so much vets can do for animals now days, I know your excessive worry is probably part of your ocd but try to remind yourself where the thoughts come from. Is the Celex helping the ocd at all? Maybe you could take something else for that?? I hope you are feeling a bit better. Please post as often as you want, we all need encouragement from each other.

Well, I am off to walk in the 90 degree heat. I will be complaing when it is 0 degrees in a few months.

Daytona

Success!
 

Well, this is try number 3 to post this reply, so I'm going to be short and sweet! I've managed to stay faithful to journaling and within my points diet (WW) for 5-1/2 days. On the 1/2 day I didn't, I was starving and decided to just go ahead and eat what I wanted (it was Swiss cheese which counts 3 points for a 1" cube), toast, and graham crackers. The next day it was back on track. I'm holding my breath, but I hope this is the beginning of something new.

I started my BuSpar on Monday, one day after starting to be good on my diet. I'm waiting for my "chair dancing" video for exercise, but it is so nice to feel good about myself. My son is getting married in November and my svelte 80-year old mother-in-law will be staying with us for at least a week. Between now and November are not enough weeks to lose 200 lbs, but at least I can make a dent in it.

How was your weekend?
 

Well, things were so good when I weighed in on Saturday morning with a 4.5 lb. loss and 6-1/2 perfect journaling days that I sort of sluffed off on Saturday night. However, I did go to breakfast with my out-of-state son and his wife at the Cracker Barrel and instead of ordering the usual casserole, I had eggs in a basket and made them bring me Promise instead of the real butter. I didn't remember to bring my own lite creamer for coffee, but I had a skim milk with it and used that for creamer. I was okay until about 5:00 and then the gremlins started. I was eating everything except the dog food, BUT I JOURNALED IT!

So, now it is Monday and another day. Our Baltimore train has finally come out of the tunnel and the fire is out. Next they have to fix the watermain break right in the middle of the city so, traffic is a nightmare. Fortunately, I can come into my work from another direction and avoid the big mess. Breakfast and lunch have been good, but I'm still feeling hungry, so I had some saltines (10=2 points) and coffee. I made some of the WW "0 point soup" and intend to have that with my 2 pt. yogurt bars tonight so that I can bank some points for a planned feast on Wed. I don't know what I'm going to have, but something yummy.

Keep up the walking and all the other positive things everyone is doing. By the way, thanks to the 3FC admin team for giving me the corgi "bunny butt" as my logo. Pembroke Welsh Corgi's don't have tails and since they sort of hop when they run and they wiggle their whole bodies to say "hello" they do resemble red and white bunnies.

Yep, if you haven't figured it out, just talking about my Gobbie makes me feel good.

:angel:

How is everyone?
 

:wave: Hi everyone.

Gobbie, good for you with the journaling and weight loss! That is just great :) Keep up the good work. Sounds like you're getting things into control. That is wonderful!!!!

Daytona, the celexa the doctor has me on is working on the ocd. It is getting somewhat better. He just increased it last week another 20 mg. Now I'm taking 20 mg in the morning and 40 mg at night. It really seems to be helping with everything.

I have only had 2 panic attacks in the last week. That is marvelous for me. The depression is in check as well. I can't believe what a difference in the matter of a couple weeks!!!

I'm looking foward to returning to work on Monday. That is, if I have a job. Seems like the department replaced me. Now I have to wait and see if anything is open. If not, they advised that they would lay me off for up to 6 months and then terminate me. Nice for a 23 year employee that has never been off on disability before. Oh well, I'm just letting what happens happen. Worrying won't help.

I'd like to that you all for your support. You really helped me make it through this. I know I still have a way to go but I can't believe how much better things are.

How are all of you doing?

Have a calm and peaceful day.:cool:

hey everyone
 

hi,
good to hear that most of you are doing much better...seems that this week is a good one!

I have kept up the walking everyday! I have figured that I tend to walk more when things are going ok emotionally, that's when I feel motivated.

I have now made a commitment to walk everyday no matter what, rain, hail or shine! I have made it part of my routine just like housework and brushing my teeth...it's on my to do list.

I try not to think about it but just do it...walking with music makes it all the more easier!

Today I am not feeling so great I am feeling a bit low but hopefully my walk will help alter my mood a little.


MyGirl :dizzy:

MyGirl, good job on the walking! I have been wanting to ride my bike but I'm in training all the time so I don't get home until about 11 pm. Being busy all the time really helps me minimize the anxiety, hope it never catches up with me.

Gobbie, how are you? hope your doggie is ok. He sounds really cute. I have a cat that looks like a pug dog and is an absolute clown. Makes me laugh every day. She thinks she's so tough but really she's a big fat goofball.

Janney, I am so glad things are getting better for you. Hope the job goes ok.

Me, I am terrified of my own thesis topic. Sigh. I should just bang it out. I will take some time off and at least get a good start!

Best to all,

and hey. HOW ABOUT A NEW THREAD??????? this 4 page stuff is not very relaxing!

Hi everyone,

Seems like forever since I been on this board. I been on vacation again, and boy it really helps to get a different slant on things. It was hotter than blazes and we hung out at the beach a lot. I did read some of the books suggested here and got a lot of good tips. My weight didn't suffer to much for being gone either. All in all things are good with me.

Janney, I am so glad to hear the meds are working, sometimes it seems like you will never feel like yourself again. Jobs are bad in the fact they want you available when they need you, but if you have a problem it is just too bad and they don't seem to be able to do much to help you out, even if you have worked for them for 20 years or more. Hope everything works out ok for you. Do you have any side effects on celexa (sp) ? Even if you have a few minor ones it sure beats the alternative LOL.

Gobbie, I love the Welsh Corgi, it is adorable. I also have my name after my dog, she is a Shihtzu.

Hi to the rest of our group, post and let us know how you are all doing.

Have a calm day.

Daytona

Bad, bad week
 

Daytona--welcome back (and to your two-legged mom, too). Gobbie couldn't help me this week. Our funding officers were coming here today and the entire week has been spent on the phone with caterers, on the computer with lists, talking to other staff for up-to-date info for presentations and, last night, I even stayed late in order to wrap gifts that go with my boss's presentation. I was so tired last night that I didn't even want to talk to my husband. Now that all is done, I am more tired than ever. Diet suffered pitifully, but I hope I'm back on track tomorrow.

Question to those who have taken BuSpar. I've been on it two weeks now--first week was one pill morning and one pill night; 2nd week is one pill a.m. and two pills p.m. I didn't see any positive differences, but maybe it's too soon and I'm too depressed about other things. Here's the problem that I think BuSpar may be contributing to, though: Every night I am waking up within 3 hours of going to sleep and I cannot go right back to sleep. I'm up for an hour or two before I am tired enough again to go to sleep. I read, usually. Last night, as tired as I was, I decided to take a sleeping pill and a pain pill (for neuropathy) at 10:00. Well, I fell asleep about midnight and was wide awake at 4:30 a.m. I'm at work now, but I sure could use a nap. Does BuSpar have the sleep problem in the beginning? My pattern before was falling asleep about 10:30-11:00 and, if I did get up at night to go to the bathroom or something, going right back to sleep until my alarm went off at 6:00. On my days off I would get up at 9ish, eat breakfast, play with Gobbie, then back to bed for a nap. However, I was still tired enough at night to sleep through the night.

I hope this is just a beginning side-effect because if it isn't I'm going to become an addicted TV watcher and novel reader.

Anyway, best of luck to all of you on this weekend and I hope you all have great weather for the exercising programs. Baltimore is in the 70s and 80s for the next 5 days. It's like we've been transplanted to another plane--this is the least humid, least hot, least dry summer I've seen in the 20+ years I've been here. I could learn to love this!!!!

Merridy (Gobbie)
:cool:

Hi Gobbie,

When I started Buspar I took 1/2 pill in the am and 1/2 pill at night the first week and the second a whole pill am and pm. I am on 15 milligrams per pill. I had the opposite effect, I could not sleep at all before I started on it, I was to anxiety ridden, it must of helped me sleep better because I started sleeping better after a couple days, maybe it was because I was more relaxed in general. Maybe you could check with your Dr and see if it is a side effect? The only real side effect I noticed was about 1/2 hour after I take it in the morning I get a little dizzy. I know they say wait a couple weeks to see if side effects disapear but when you arn't getting sleep a couple weeks seems like a LONG time. I to took Tylenol pm at night when I couldn't sleep so I know that is ok to do. Hope this helps, by the way, I thought Buspar was an anti anxiety drug, not for depression? Who knows what we are taking LOL.

Daytona

BuSpar
 

Thanks for the quick response, Daytona. I took Paxil for depression for about 18 months and then it didn't seem to work very well. I started having these "stress" attacks (according to my regular doctor) where I would feel skittish, hungry, etc. I figured I couldn't go through the rest of my life like that, so I saw a therapist. He didn't believe it was stress, but rather a combination of drugs I take for neuropathy. He was apparently right. Then after figuring that out, he said that Paxil and other meds in that class are notorious for not working after a year or two, but if you switch to another med in approximately the same category it will many times jump start the effect and you are back on track (with the new drug) again. He said the good thing about BuSpar is that it many times will inhibit bad behaviors (drinking, overeating) and is used to treat alcoholics successfully. He is hoping it will help me with my dieting problem as well as the depression. I guess we'll just have to see. I go back to see him this coming Wednesday, so we can talk then (after I sleep in all morning) about whether it is the med or just me.

Thanks again...time to go home.

Merridy (Gobbie)