Grieving
 

Hi I have just lost my brother to cancer, he passed away on July 1, 2003 after a 3 year fight.

I suffer from fibromyalgia, depression and I was recently diagnosed with diabetes.

I could sure you some encouragement. My weight just keeps going higher and higher.

Hi is there anyone there?

http://www.members.aol.com/teejaw/smilies/Welcome3.gif Hi Silk..... I am so sorry about your brother. This is a very good place to come & talk. With it being a large board, most people go to a specific thread. I'm in Christian Encouragers, Health Problems.....Chronic back pain..., etc. You're welcome to join any thread. If you just need to talk to someone daily for awhile, til you decide....I'll be glad to talk with you.

I can't say I know how you feel....for I've never lost a brother. I have lost others that were very dear to me, though. Also, with your illness, it must make it a lot worse. I have RA, so I know about the fatigue.....it gets overwhelming sometimes. I can certainly understand health problems, & needing to lose weight. We can encourage each other.

How old was your brother? If it would help....tell me all about him. I would like to listen to you, if you just need someone to vent to. Also, how much weight are you wanting to lose? I've lost 20 lbs & need to lose 20 more. Can't exercise...so it's not easy.

Please, keep posting.....I'll check in each day, to see if you're here.
http://www.vfwds.com/graphics/images/roses/bgrose.gif

:grouphug: :grouphug: silk lumina. What pain you must be in!

I lost a brother to cancer 7 1/2 years ago and I know that pain. It has dulled, of course, but I still miss him.

It's probably not a good time yet for you to diet but it's always a good time to try to be healthy. Maybe you could manage to try to eat in a more healthy way in some small way like lots of fruit. Your brother would want you to take care of your health.

While I don't have fibro, I do have RA and there are times it's really difficult to give a darn. I have down times but not depression. I understand that makes it hard to give a darn too. But you're already ahead - you came and asked for help. You gave a darn.

Two things that have helped me since my brother's death. I did not want his death from colon cancer to be in vain. So I have made it a point to have all my tests for that. I've also tried to eat the vegetables that are supposed to be helpful in fighting it off.

I try to enjoy some things FOR Joe. I was going to take a trip or something when he was pretty ill and told him I felt badly about going off and enjoying myself and he told me to enjoy it for him since he couldn't do it. So sometime I do something FOR HIM to enjoy. Sometimes, it's just a small thing like looking at flowers while I think of him. But other times, I'll be having a great time on a new adventure and I think "Joe would have loved this" and I sort of feel I'm enjoying it for him. He liked handicapping horses so when I do that, I think of him enjoying it.

Anyway, I didn't want to make this a book. Just want you to know I know how tough it can be. And in no way do I want to minimize the pain - you do have to feel it to get through it. But it does help to think of the good things about someone. And to do things to take care of your health because you know they'd want you to.

More

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: and :goodvibes :goodvibes

Thanks for the words of encouragement. My brother was 54, two years younger then I am. There were over 1000 people at the funeral home so it was quite a tribute to him. He has a lovely family and has coached baseball and hockey all of his adult life. We miss his.

Please keep in touch, this helps.

Thanks again.

Silk, my brother was also only 54 when he died but four years younger than I. He was also a most lovable fellow, the oldest son, third child of eight children (I am the eldest). The BEST thing about that awful time was the great spirit and love he showed and also the way the whole family came together to help him. He had a long time fiance and she had two children. She was not in good health and had her blind mother to care for but took him into her home and the rest of us took turns going down to help in some way. It was awfully hard on my mother to lose him. She's still living and came out of it all better than we had expected (a very strong woman of faith). She's in the hospital now and I'm on my way to travel to see her so must make this short.

Hope today's a bit better.

Hi Silk Luminia. My sympathy on the loss of your brother. I have not lost a brother, but I did lose my Dad to cancer when I was 26 and he was 59. The pain of loss doesn't just disappear however. The best thing to do, is to talk about him, and to remember the happy times. By the sounds of it, he was a wonderful person, so you have great memories. Use them to ease the pain. There will always be times, birthdays and other special occassions, when he will be missed - ALWAYS.

My Mom passed away 7 years ago and I still miss her terribly at times, but there is not a void where her life was. She is still with me, in my heart.

I, also, has FM. Try not to let yourself get to stressed, as you know that stress is the worst trigger for FM. Also, not eating right could set of a flare. (to much sugar etc). I am one of the lucky ones, as I do not have depression.

I wish you well, and please know that we are here for you if you need to talk.:)

Anne

Hi Silk........Hope you're feeling better today. The advice others are giving you is so good....I really don't know what to add. I, like Anne, lost my dad at an early age to cancer. I was 21 & he was only 52. I'm now 2 yrs older than he was. I was 100% a "daddy's girl".

For quite awhile, when I thought of him, it was the suffering he had endured for 2-3 yrs. It ate at me terribly. I finally got to thinking how much he had loved me & how saddened he would be if he knew the way things were. He wouldn't want me to think of him in a bed suffering. He would want me to think of the times we were doing things together. Teaching me to drive, fishing, just sitting on the porch talking......... So, as time passed, I got to where I had only happy memories. I still wonder lots of times what "daddy" would say about a situation I'm in. If I think for a few minutes, it comes to me what he would say, & I can smile.

With time, it will be this way with you. Your brother will still guide you with things he taught you through the years. You'll be able to smile about memories.....yes, even laugh. There's some of the funniest stories I have told about my daddy! You see, they're gone out of that suffering body....but they're not gone out of our hearts......they will remain!

Keep posting.....let us know how you're doing.
I'm praying for you. http://home.att.net/~scorh/IHugs.gif

Thank so much to all of you, it surely helps to know that there are people out there that understands the pain I am in. We lost our mother last year and although she was 88 when she passed, it still was very hard to lose her. To lose to members of your family in one year is almost unbearable but we have the support of family members and friends and now the good people I hope to meet on this site. Due to my health I have not been able to work in a year and a half and we lost our home last June and had to declare personal bankruptcy and now live in an apartment building. I am trying to remember to count my blessings every day and not dwell on the negative but some days it is almost impossible. Thanks again to those of you who responded to my cry for help. God bless you.

Hi Silk. I sure understand how hard it is not to be able to work. I had to quit 7 years ago due to o/a of the back and hip and also FM. It is difficult to make it anymore on one salary, and seems almost impossible to collect disability insurance. I empathize with you for sure.

You sure have had a tough go of it. My dad passed away 30 years ago and many times I still miss him. My MOM I miss everyday. We were very good friends and really close. She develped Alzheimers Disease and passed away just before her 82 birthday. Thank goodness it wasn't a long haul for her.

Why not join us in the Dieting with FM thread.

Hi Silk....We lost our home a few years ago & had to start all over, so I know how that hurts. We were given a 2nd chance a few yrs later by a great couple who sold us a house & financed it for us. We have lived here for 14 yrs now. Our oldest of 11 grandchildren is 14, so this is the only house they all remember.

Last November, we had a housefire. Destroyed the kitchen & diningroom, & ruined the rest of the house & furniture. We had to get a lawyer to fight the insurance for money, & still didn't get enough. Therefore, we can't contract it out, so my husband is having to build it back alone. We've had a little help from our children (bless their hearts), but that's it. Don't know where relatives & friends all went off too! We are living in 2 rooms in the house, with sheetrock torn down & carpet, etc, up. Our grandchildren are heartbroken because the house will never be the one they remember. My husband is outside the wall where I'm sitting now, nailing up a plank to cover a 1 foot open space all the way across the room! I told him last night, I couldn't takle the big bugs getting in & going to the light on the computer! (Sorry, but I'm just crazy about images!) http://www.thegardenhelper.com/aniant3.gif

I'm just telling you all of this to let you know....There are a lot of us here who know what you are talking about. You're not alone. We are glad to talk with you. It helps me so much to come in here each day & talk. If it hadn't been for my computer this last few months (& of course, the Lord) I would have went crazy! That's why I'm on a diet. I gain 40 lbs in 6 months after the fire. I got depressed & stressed.....& felt like I had nowhere to turn but to food. We can all help each other. Take care....& keep hanging on!http://home.att.net/~scorh5/Tickles1b.gif

Angel-lover, sounds like you have also had a tough time of it. It must terrible to lose everything to a fire. What a task to try to rebuild things. Insurance doesn't seem to be worth the paper it is written on, that is for sure. Nothing but a struggle to get anything from any type of insurance. I suppose the only one they can't hassle over is life insurance and then they may dispute the death only because they wouldn't have to pay for months or years. I could sure go on about them.

Are you doing weight watchers or some other plan. You are right about the boards being a good place to come to talk. It helps keep us sane:lol

Hi Angel-Lover and thanks for the input. I am so sorry to hear about your fire. Thank goodness we have children to keep us going. We are going to try and go away for a few days in August as my husband has two weeks off and we need to get away and leave our troubles behind us even if it is only for a few days. I never thought I would weigh 200 lbs and now I have surpassed that and I feel just dreadful. It now seems like I will never win the battle. I am looking forward to talking to you again and thanks again for shedding some sunshine on this day as I get pretty discouraged. Silk

Hello Silk Lumina,

I am sorry to read about your losses. My mother died from cancer in 1981 (I was 21 years old at the time). I miss her every day.

I am also a recently diagnosed diabetic. Did you see the diabetes thread? There are some nice ladies there. Hope you will join us.

thanks dixie I will do that, it sounds like you are on the right track. I am going to have to pull up my socks so that I can have something good to say and not all of this negative stuff.

Hi Silk...& Happy Canuk. I hope this day brings you both some sunshine. I hope it finally gives me a little rest after a very busy week. For someone on disability....I sure do stay busy! LOL Actually, I'm thankful I can still go as much as I do. I do need some days of rest, though.

Silk...I'm glad you're going to get away for a few days. It will do you a lot of good. Are you planning to go anywhere in particular? Sometimes, in better days....my husband & I would just take off, then decide as we traveled. It was an adventure, not really knowing from day to day. We also love to go to the beach. We like it there in the late summer, when most of the crowd is gone. We go down to the edge of the water & just sit...watching the water. It's so calm & peaceful. Really helps to clear our minds. That's what we were planning for our 35th anniv this yr(June 14th) Our plans were changed, though. We'll make up for it another time.

Dear, don't worry so much about your weight right now....you can work on that. I know how depressing it can be. I got up to 212 a few years ago. Had a lot of steriod shots in my back. That's why I knew I had to stop & get on a diet this time, before it got out of control. Your situation is different, though. You've got a lot on you, right now. Take it slow....you can just cut back on a few things, & you'd be surprised what a difference it will make. Especially making your drink....water, water, & more water. LOL http://www.emotipad.com/emoticons/Glug.gif
If you really want to diet now, though, we're all here to help you however we can.http://e4u.deltait.com.au/dressed/bek035.gif http://e4u.consoleradar.com/crazy/1028.gif

Happy Canuk...I agree about the insurance. Everyone needs to read their policy very carefully, before buying it. Also, be sure to have pictures & videos of everything in the house in a fire proof place.

I'm not on any certain diet....just watching what I eat, very carefully....& water by the gallon!!http://www.gifanimations.com/Image/A...food/water.gif I keep a lot of fruit around. I went to the dr yesterday(Friday) & he was elated at my weightloss. So, I guess I'm alright. I've lost 23 lbs since April 23, with no exercise. I wish I could....but...oh well.

Well....I couldn't sleep...woke up at 2:30 am. http://www.emotipad.com/emoticons/Count%20Sheep.gif Finally got up at 4am...& strarted this novel. LOL May go back now, & nap..... http://www.emotipad.com/emoticons/Zzzz.gif

Hi Angel Lover and Happy Canuck: I just turned on my computer and was delighted to receive your message Angel you certainly are an inspiration. We are not planning where we are going, like you we are just going to get in the car and go wherever.

My brothers son broke his leg in two places on Monday night while playing baseball. He is a physical education teacher at our local high school. He is the son of the brother that just passed away and his mother was at the game. The poor woman just went to pieces. It makes you wonder how much one person can stand before they break.

It is a beautiful sunny morning and I am determined to get outside and doing something today.

I hope all is well with you and congratulations on your weight loss.

Where do you find those adorable little pictures?

Silk

Hi Silk....Glad I made your day just a little better. I enjoy your posts, also. Seems like I detect just a little lift in your spirits. I hope so. Yes, if it's a good day....go outside & do something. It'll be good for you. http://www.spacespider.net/emo/chores_gardening.gif

I'm sorry about your nephew....hope he does well....and your poor sister-in-law.....I'll be praying for her, also. I hope she has a close friend that she can talk to. Are you & her close? I love my sister-in-laws, but we're really not all that close. Seems strange, I really don't know why....we live fairly close together. I guess we just don't have a lot in common.

My son played all sports, & I stayed so nervous, I could hardly enjoy the games. Now, my grandson plays sports.....I'll never stop stressing, I don't guess. LOL http://www.members.aol.com/teejaw/smilies/Phew.gif

Thanks for complimenting my images. I go all over the internet for them. It's a lot of work, but I enjoy it, & it helps pass the time on these long days. I'm still sleepy http://www.emotipad.com/emoticons/Yawn.gif never did go to sleep. Just might take a nap, now.

Hope you have a peaceful day.

Hi Angel, I was glad to receive your response so soon. Yes my sister-in-law and I are close, they were married for 34 years so she is more like a sister then not.

We are just in the process of selling my mothers house as it has been a year now since she passed away. There has been a little tension as my younger brother lives there. He is 52 years old and has always lived there with my mom until she had her stroke and had to go to a nursing home.

Life sure is complicated sometimes. I hope you got some rest as I know what that is like when you can't sleep and the next day you sort of drag yourself around.

Hope to hear from you soon, take care. Silk

Hi Silk and Angel-lover and Anagram.

Silk, yet another thing to add to your stress. Boys and their sports. My son used to play hockey and volleyball. Would you believe I had him to the hospital during a volleyball game! He tore the ligaments and tendons in his ankle. Took longer to heal than a break. Now, he is 28 and goes ice climbing, rock climbing and just recently parachuting. My hair is getting whiter and whiter:lol: I sure hope your nephew will be ok.

Like you and Angel-lover, my hubby and I also just like to "hit" the road. It keeps us young and alive. I am 57 so we are all about the same age.

Anagram - I hope things are going better for you and your hubby. I hope he is feeling a lot better and is enjoying the summer, along with yourself. I will catch you later on our other thread.

Angel-lover, I also love graphics. I have gotten into PaintShop Pro and am having a good time with that. I go to another support group for Chronic Pain and we are learning this together. Sure is a good diversion for pain. Like you, I also spend a lot of time searching the net for graphics and tubes.

I hope you are all having a great day.

Angerl Lover and Happy Canuck sounds like things are going pretty good for you. Where do you find these graphics on your computer? I think they are adorable but I have no idea where to look for them.

My friend that I haven't seen for quite a while came over tonight and we sat outside until 11:00 p.m. enjoyed a quiet drink and the summer night.

I am sure my nephew will be just fine. it is kind of scary as they say things come in threes so I am sort of waiting for the other shoe to fall.

We are going to see my husbands mother next weekend she is 83 and lives in an apartment complex for seniors. It is a 3.5 hour drive so we don't get there as often as we should but now that Max is gone we will focus more on her as I am sure she gets very lonely.

I hope to hear from you soon. Have a great Sunday.

Silk

Hi Everybody. Hope you all have a beautiful Sunday. Yes, I got a nap after I posted yesterday. Didn't want to...I hardly ever nap through the day...but just couldn't stay awake. Got up about 5am this morning. That's later than usual. LOL

Silk...I'm glad you're going to see your mother-in-law. I know it will do her a lot of good. I visit nursing homes & (try) to sing for them. It is so sad. A lot of them no longer have any family. Only thing...I get attached & they pass away. I end up singing at funerals, & that's hard.

Glad your friend came to see you....I know it helped you a lot. http://home.att.net/~scorh/Sign01f.gif All you have to do to get images....go to search & type in "free graphics". There are hundreds. You'd enjoy it.

Happy Canuk....I enjoyed your graphic. I've been wanting to try paint shop pro. Seems very hard....is it? I have a Christian website that has been very successful....but I didn't make my own graphics. I DID learn to put items in places where they weren't really meant to be. HeHe

Hello to Anagram....Haven't said anything to you in awhile.

I've got to get dressed for church. I hope you all have a very nice Sunday. http://home.att.net/~scorh/Flower1l.gif

Thanks for the info on the graphics Angel I will try it and see what is there. My mom was in a nursing home after her stroke and your right there are so many who do not get any visitors they look forward to seeing people as their days are long and lonely.

Happy Canuck I was wondering where in the west you live? We drove out to BC three years ago and it was such a wonderful trip I loved every minute of it and look forward to getting out there again some time.

I am going to spend the day reading and just relaxing as we have nothing planned.

Have a great day.

Silk

http://members.shaw.ca/Sunburn_69/Bearmail_Hello.jpg Hope you had a good day!

It was a beautiful day here. Been catching up on a few things, myself. I'm afraid I've gotten my days & nights mixed up! Way to early for me to be as sleepy as I am right now! http://www.emotipad.com/emoticons/Yawn.gif

I may not get to post tomorrow unless I get up early again. My step-dad is having surgery tomorrow & I have to take care of him. My sister takes care of our mother (Alziemer's) & I take care of him. He had surgery for bladder cancer 3mos ago & it has to be repeated, for some reason....don't really understand. He is about as aggravating person as you could be around, but has no one else. He has three sisters who do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Anyway....we don't know if he stays with mother for love or her check...we really wonder. Poor guy has no friends....which is his own fault....but I can't help feeling sorry for him, sometimes. I really don't mind helping him...if he just wasn't so hard to deal with. I'll be back to posting soon as I can.

Gotta get off & get things ready...hope you & all have a good evening & good day tomorrow. http://home.att.net/~scorh/Flower1m8.gif

Hi ladies
 

Hope you are both having a great day. I had a busy day today. Went to our sons for a late lunch and visit. My daughter and her family also came along, so we all had a good time.

My Mom had Alzheimers. Terrible disease. She passed away 7 yrs. ago now. It sure isn't easy to look after a grouchy, thankless person; however, someone has to I guess.

Silk, I live in Edmonton, Alberta. Actually, just moved here on the 21 June. We lived in Red Deer, Alberta before that. Red Deer is halfway between Edmonton and Calgary. Perhaps you will get back this way again. It really is beautiful country in Alberta and B.C.

Well, my hug graphic was SUPPOSED to be animated. I wonder why it wasn't? Hmmm, I have not posted that many graphics on this site, only the one in a post and then if I posted it on the board before, it won't take it. Strange set-up. How do you post so many, Angel?

Silk, I hope your days are going a little easier as the days go by.

Hi, yes my days are getting easier however, we now have to deal with selling my mothers house, I am meeting with a realtor this morning.

It is the only house that any of lived in and it is going to be hard to see it sold, however, everything changes with time and I am sure we will adjust to this change as well.

It seems very strange to loose two members of our family in one year especially when my brother was two years younger then I am.

It sounds like you had a nice day yesterday having lunch with your family. I had planned to get out and enjoy the day but I didn't even get dressed so I wasn't out of the house. I read and relaxed for the day as well as my husband. We had a lite supper and we were both just lazy all day.

I think it is time for me to change the subject on my message so I will attempt that this morning.

Take care

Silk

Hello Ladies.....Only have a few minutes, as I have a looooong day ahead!

Yes Happy Canuk...Alziemers is a terrible disease & so is cancer (lost my dad to it).
You ask about my graphics....it's never really easy. I did make it better though, buy purchasing Emotipad. I load into it, then click & drag. I keep them in separate catagories to find what I want faster. It's a one time fee of $10.00. It gets a little aggravating (ok, a LOT aggravating) when I load several things, to find out later....I'm not allowed to use in forums. Some make it clear when you take them, but some don't. I'm still glad I purchased it. If you're interested.....just go to emotipad.com. http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung...smiley-047.gif

I hope you both have a very good day. I'll post tomorrow, if I can. If not.....I'm thinking about you & WISHING I WAS HOME! http://www.click-smilies.de/sammlung...smiley-041.gif

Hi
 

Silk, selling the house will be hard to do, but once done you can start the healing process. Memories help a lot with that.

Angel - my Dad died from Cancer of the stomach. It is so hard to watch people waste away. However, we have to do the best we can as we don't have a choice in the matter.

Tomorrow I am going back to my old city (100 miles away) to see a dermatologist. I have decided to make a day of it and worked in a mammogram, a haircut and a Dr. appt. Then will go to my cousins and spend the night and come home Wednesday, making a stop at my chiro. along the way. I am tired thinking about it. I hope my energy levels are NOT low tomorrow morning. I need all I can get to get going.

Hope you both have a great day tomorrow.

Angel & Happy Canuck - Happy it sounds like you have a full couple of days ahead of you, I hope you enjoy your visit with your cousin, but try not to overdue.

I am looking after my two year old grandson this week while his regular babysitter is on holidays. He is such a sweetheart but full of energy.

We listed moms house for sale yesterday and now we have to wait and see if we get a buyer, I hope it sells soon and then we can put that behind us.

There has been a lot of controversy about selling it and I hate having family tension but so far it has not been to serious, just everyone voicing their opinion.

It is 6:30 a.m. so I had better start my day Benny (Grandson) will be here at 7:00.

Have a good trip, and Angel keep in touch.

Silk

http://members.shaw.ca/Sunburn_69/BA_Bear_Hello.jpg I'm back already!! Surgery went well, & he even went home last night. It was a very loooong day! But very thankful.

Happy Canuk....Hope you have a great visit, feel well.....& LOVE your image! It's beautiful.

Silk.....I'm sorry...I know you tried to start a new thread! You might try again. I guess when I posted again...it hindered. I really liked the name of your new thread.

I'm sorry about the controversy over the house. It's sad when that happens. Hopefully, it'll all be resolved soon.

I know what you mean by grands. Mine are all so sweet....my older body just can't keep up, I'm afraid. I'm always afraid the younger ones will head to something dangerous, & I won't be fast enough. They sure are sweet, though! I have 11 grands! http://home.att.net/~scorh/Sign01r.gif
Hope your day goes well.... http://members.aol.com/_ht_a/goofygr...g/sunshine.gif

To start your day
 

I hope both of you have a great day! See you sometime tomorrow.

Never Anger Your Nurse

A bigshot business man had to spend a couple of days in the hospital.

He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his employees. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him.

The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. She walked into his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature."

After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth.

"No, I'm sorry, the nurse stated, "but for this reading, I can't use an oral thermometer."

This started another round of complaining, but eventually he rolled over and bared his behind.

After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, "I have to get something. Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back!"

She leaves the door to his room open on her way out. He curses under his breath as he hears people walking past his door, laughing. After almost an hour, the man's doctor comes into the room.

"What's going on here?" asked the doctor.

Angrily, the man answers, "What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken before?"

After a pause, the doctor replies, "Yes, but never with a daffodil!"

http://www.00fun.com/hillbilly_chic_laughing_lg_wht.gifThat's a good one!! I've seen people that could use that!

Enjoy your trip & will be waiting to hear how it went.

We had some terrible storms this morning!!http://www.gifanimations.com/Image/A...houses_029.gif Got a pretty evening, though. My step-dad had trouble, & I had to take him to the ER. So, I didn't have a day of rest after all. I'm glad he got relief, though. He really was hurting!

Silk....hope your day is going good.http://www.whittibo.com/files/fungif066.gif

Hi Angel, I am glad to hear that you are home and all went well. I am exhaused from having the little one all day. He is very busy but lovable.

We have 4 grandchildren 2 girls and 2 boys from the age of 2 to 12 years old.

We listed moms house on Monday and there are people coming to see it tomorrow so maybe it will sell right away.

I look forward to your messages and to your graphics, I found the site but I still have not figured out how to add them to my message.

I will try to change my thread again but I am not very good at this.

Take care
Silk