This is a ranty, whining post that probably doesn't belong here, but I'm not sure where else to put it, and I need to get it off my chest.

I have something medical going on. Abdominal pain, loss of appetite, nausea, etc. I keep going in for exams and progress reports and more testing.... and so far we don't know anything. Maybe Crohns, but that's difficult to get a good diagnosis on, because it can be so similiar to other forms of colitis. It's not really typical of -anything-, so there's a lot of unknown out there for me.

I have no appetite. Even when my stomach is clearly hungry, the thought of food is outright repulsive to me. I need to be as weight-stable as I can be while we diagnose this, but the act of eating is work, and every time I set my fork down, I don't want to pick it up again. Drinking water is getting harder too, and I used to guzzle water all day long.

I set timers to remind myself to eat. I drink sweet things, even though they taste vile. I put extra fat in everything. I eat mechanically, because it's the only way I can get food down.

Cooking and eating used to be joyful... an expression of creativity or an experiment or an adventure. Now it's just... a chore. One that apparently ranks below cleaning the toilets on my preference list.

If this is chronic (which it seems to be, with flares that have been coming closer together), I'm not going to be allowed to diet down to a "healthy" BMI, because of the danger a flare could spiral me down to an unhealhty weight.

If I had to stay at this weight forever, I could deal with that. But I'm not sure I can deal with forcing myself to eat three times a day for another few weeks, let alone years stretching into the future.

I'm sorry to hear that you are so ill. When will all your tests be done? I wish you good health ASAP.

Hope they figure out what is going on with you, mystery ailments suck! Sending healthy vibes your way. Great job on the loss...
Artificial sweeteners were the cause of my stomach troubles, I quit them 4 years ago & my stomach troubles vanished instantly!

Thank you both. I'm slowly, slowly getting my mind around the idea that it might be Crohns, because that explains so much of my history. I have a CT on Monday, and probably a colonoscopy (yay!) late in the week next week.

I'm also learning how to make myself eat, even when I don't want to. It's a chore, but the medications have me stable enough it's not more unpleasant than cleaning bathrooms or taking out the trash. I'm weight-stable, so there's less "I can't make myself eat enough" stress.

This is just very disconcerting - it's like all of my emotional ties with food have been shattered. I love to cook, I love to eat, and now - meh. Food tastes good, but it's in the same way that flowers are pretty, but I don't need them in my house. I've done medically restricted and weight loss restricted diets, and I always had a "as long as I don't have to give up X" - and now I just feel like if I never ate again, that would be ok with me.

Hang in there... I have several relatives with Crohn's. I've seen them struggle too.

I hope you get some answers with a speedy dx!


A.

I'm officially "perfectly healthy". Everything came back clean, so we're running a course of antibiotics. There's no evidence of infection, but a moderate dose of cipro seems to be making me feel better.

On the bright side, I've been okayed for slow weight loss, so I can stop pushing calorie-dense foods so much.

I've taken this as a wake-up call for colon health, though. Heavy doses of probiotics (capsules plus live foods like kefir, yogurt, traditional sauerkraut, kimchee, etc), significantly increased fiber, plenty of coconut oil/milk, ginger, turmeric, less dairy, more magnesium...

At the end of the first day I've managed 26 grams of fiber, but I'm also so full I can barely move and am feeling like a walking pill factory. This is going to take some adjustment.

I'm glad everything got cleared for you and you can start losing again. If you've gone from low fiber to high fiber it really can be hard. When I started seeing a nutritionist she drastically increased the amount of fiber in my diet and I felt just like you described (seriously bloated, constantly full etc). It goes away after a few weeks and now everything is back to normal but just wanted to pop in and say I understand about the fiber thing.

If you haven't already done so, you might be interested in a book called LIFE WITHOUT BREAD by Dr. Lutz (a misnomer, as you don't have to completely give up bread). It is a lower carb diet (70-80gms daily), but it's focus is on regaining health through lower carb nutrition, instead of just for weight loss. There is a huge section on treating GI problems, including Chrohn's Disease. You might find it helpful. Good luck.

Thanks. A little "been there, and it does improve" put a smile on my face this morning. For the last month I've been eating no more than a half cup of food at a time. I didn't think of myself as being on a low-fiber diet before this flare, but I wasn't tracking fiber either... 35 or 50 grams per day seems completely impossible.