All I can say is, yes, I know how you feel. I had such a bad case of endometriosis that even after four surgeries to remove tumors and adhesions I still had to have a hysterectomy. It happened two months after I got married! I think it was such a shock that I didn't even feel the grief hit for a couple years. What I want to express to you is that it is important to process your feelings in your own time and your own way. I always wanted my own children so badly. It wasn't meant to be. After all these years I need to look at it as "playing the hand I was dealt."

So, please know that there truly are many children and just other people that you can nurture. That truly need you. Whose lives will be better because of you. Adoption, Fostering, Mentoring. Remember, "mother" is also a verb.

I have two wonderful stepchildren whom I adore, so I am truly blessed. Most years I get wonderful mother's day cards and homemade gifts. This year? Don't know. They're teenagers (eek). I live far from them now but they both come to visit and we are still family.

Hugs! Did the doctor explain exactly why this happened? Like dawn I have a bunch of friends that were supposed to be infertile and low and behold they had kids. I also recommend the book "sexy hormones", she's great.

Besides I second adoption! I hope to adopt in the future and there's a child out there waiting for a loving home and mommy!

*hugs* I'm sorry you're going through this. It feels like a huge loss now but someday you'll adopt and and you'll accept it all. But you go right ahead and grieve right now, it's healthy to grieve.

For myself, a combination of ADHD, fibromyalgia, chronic lack of patience and seemingly zero pain tolerance, we've decided not to birth any children. I just can't stand to pass along these genes. So, someday, if we find a child who needs a home? We'll be it.

I also have premature ovarian failure. Diagnosed with this 5 months after DH and I got married. We are currently foster parents and are on the waiting list to adopt as well. I was just 25 when I got the news I would probably never have children. Now, with the addition of some medical issues (including fibromyalgia and RA) I guess it is all for the better. I still get days (sometimes longer) where I fall into a state of mind and I feel down about all this again. Then, usually shopping helps! Or going to play with my nieces nephews helps too.

I hope you can follow your heart when it comes to foster/adoption. There are children all over who need a loving home. Some that aren't even born yet are going to need a home when you are ready too. We're "here" for you when you need us.

Adrienne

I am sorry for your loss. I cannot or maybe it is should not have children. I have genetic disease that has a 50% chance of passing onto my children. Plus before I knew that I wasn't getting pregnant. I had to mourn that I wouldn't have children. After that we adopted a little girl. That was a emotional roller coaster ride, but it led us to our beautiful daughter.

(((((hugs)))))

I agree with a previous poster - this is a loss, loss of dreams, etc. You're allowed to mourn. I'm so sorry it hit you. It's hard to be TOLD no children (no more in my case). I cannot imagine how painful it must be. You have to grieve this loss before you can move past it. I'm sorry you are in a rough cycle - but I hope that you'll be able to find the light and work back towards control. I allowed myself to be mired for 4 years. And it's **** crawling out. But it can be done.

Know that you're not alone. And that I wish that it weren't the case, I wish fertility were "fair."

Hugs. I am in the same boat now, although I have an amazing 2 year old so I know it's not the same as not being able to have any. But I want another SOOOOO terribly bad but due to my blood pressure staying at 200/105 for 4 months during my pregnancy, I had to tie my tubes during my csection. Now somedays I regret that decision so much.

Maybe you should look into adoption? Or fostering?

I am so sorry for you! My husband and I have one daughter and since she was born I've gained a lot of weight--now we're trying to have another and we really don't know why it's not happening; we've been trying for almost two years. It's a hard experience in life to go though, you know, to want a baby really badly and not be able to. My heart really goes to you. I can only imagine how you feel. :hug: