Hi guys....here's the dizzy thing I did today. Went to lunch with the girls, had a few drinks and then went to the new XXX rated store across from the mall. Talk about anti-climactic. We ended up walking out and standing in the parking lot saying...what is all the fuss about. There are porn videos about fat people, skinny people, people with big butts, big boobs, no boobs. Kind of funny but I was not really impressed.
Bluestuff. I ordered some today. I rubbed some on my forehead last night when I woke up with the worst headache. Oh, it was pre-migraine but heading there. And the headache went away. And I just came home from my drinks....normally I would be having a headache by now but I rubbed some on. Oh the stuff stinks so bad....but it works.
Meme....oh it is scary what you are going thru with Ross. I had some of the same things with my kids. I remember a psychiatrist wanting to put my son on Paxil for anxiety. I wanted to just trust him and believe that that was the thing to do. Luckily my son refused to take it. He outgrew the anxiety....or at least it is under control. Not that we don't still have hyper things to deal with...but some things improve with time.
You feel the butter dish slip from your hand and as it makes its unstoppable way to the floor you hear a voice saying, "That’s it - I can’t take anymore."
From the recesses of your mind that voice begins to suggest things. It tells you that a person can only take so much and you have passed that point. You deserve to have a few doughnuts (or chips or whatever is your favorite path off program). It is the only thing left for you to do. This voice also tells you that you are far too weak to leave that food alone for another minute. It is beyond your control, so why fight it?
We all have our Inner Voice, and the thing that most of us do not realize is that this Inner Voice is not our friend. Would a friend tell you that you are weak? Would a friend suggest that you go on an eating binge? Would a friend attack you at your weakest moments with temptation, and even commands to fail?
Your greatest battle is in learning how to stand up to your Inner Voice. That voice can be trained, and it can be controlled. But to be successful on your journey, you must be able to identify it’s traitorous nature. When you are feeling weak, that Inner Voice is what is screaming at you to give in. You have another voice as well and that one is under your control. You must use it to tell the Inner Voice to SHUT UP!
No, you are not going crazy when you talk to your Inner Voice. It is important that you do so. That Inner Voice is like an unruly child that is apt to fall into mischief if it is not placed under proper supervision and control. When it wants to get into trouble, you must be able to see that it is going wrong, and that it must be stood up to. Force it to change the subject, and you will be surprised how much easier your rough moments can be.
As the butter finally splatters on the floor and the globs of it adhere to your shoes and the bottom of the cabinet underneath the counter that you were carrying the dish to, and, as the dish itself shatters into many different sized pieces, you naturally will release your own personal favorite expletive. Of course you are not happy about this turn of events. But as you set to cleaning up the mess, you will have the opportunity to direct your thoughts towards overcoming the stream of destructive thoughts the Inner Voice is directing your way. You can say, "Man, this makes me mad! I hate it when this happens. But life is going to have its bumps. I will soon have this cleaned up and will have another bar of butter and a new dish all ready to go. The mess will be cleaned up, and all will be as good as new. There is no reason to go and do harmful things to myself. Eating will not undo this event but it will instead create another event, an event that is far worse when I have to weigh in next time. Inner Voice - find something else to talk about, because I am not going to listen to you on this subject right now."
You cannot offend the Inner Voice, no matter how harshly you speak to it. So, off with the kid gloves. It is better to treat it as an unfeeling brute. Its greatest strength is its tenacity. It keeps coming back if you do not stand up to it. If you do tell it to shut up with conviction, and start it going on another subject, you will find your life much easier. Over time, it can be trained to leave you alone on the subject of food. It will never go away completely, but that is okay. If it talks about safe and helpful things, it is not a problem. It can remind you of things you need to do, and other useful tasks. It just has to be "beat into submission" on the important things in your life.
I first learned of the nature of the Inner Voice when I quit smoking. It surprised me to find that this Inner Voice was not my friend. It made it much easier for me to deal with the things that it told me, once I had identified its nature. I had talked myself into having a cigarette so many times because I had listened to the traitorous, and malicious Inner Voice. It had me thinking about how terrible I was suffering this very moment and that I was not strong enough to tolerate a lifetime of this. I might as well go out and have a cigarette right now and avoid this suffering.
Once I had identified what this Inner Voice was doing, I could then stand up to it. I could tell it, "Shut up! I will not smoke right now, and in time, the suffering will all end. I will then no longer even want a cigarette. The suffering that I am now going through is temporary. It will soon pass and I will be that much closer to quitting." Having said that, and believing it, the voice mentally had nothing to grab on to and quieted down. Today, after over two years of not smoking, the voice on very rare occasion makes a half-hearted attempt. "Wouldn’t a cigarette go well right now?" But I can just laugh at it as I tell it, "Get lost. There is no way I am going back to that slavery!"
The more often you face up to the Inner Voice and strongly tell it how things are going to be, the stronger you become and the weaker it becomes in its attacks upon you. Also, as you develop good eating habits and a healthy lifestyle, the Inner Voice has far less leverage to work with. In time you can even have it on your side, nagging you to get out there and do your exercise, and to get working on that menu you need to finish up and so forth. But never completely trust it, because it can turn on you at any moment. In reality it is small and weak. The only power it has, is that which you hand over to it. But until you identify it as untrustworthy, and even an enemy at times, you will be at its mercy. It is its ability to hide, letting you think that it is just a part of your thinking process that you can do nothing about, that allows it to do so much damage.
From now on, you will know about this trickster and you will no longer be taken by surprise. You still may fall to its temptations at times, but afterwards you will be able to see what happened and know how the Inner Voice fooled you. Once you have mastered the Inner Voice, you will be in a very much improved position. You will then be able to deal with the nuts and bolts of staying On Program and less with doubts and worries about your weaknesses. Those doubts and weaknesses are either entirely created by, or merely used by, the Inner Voice as weapons against you. After you learn to shut that voice up, all of the crushing blows you have been taking from it, will disappear. It is such a rush of relief and power to know that you are in control finally of what is going on in your head. To finally subjugate that Inner Voice to its proper role of servant instead of master is the primary act of one who is going to succeed. It is like holding all of the aces. No one can top your card. You cannot lose.
YOU ARE GOING ALL THE WAY TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN!
Happy- Yes I am watching some of the Olympics. I did see Canada's game and their win. I love the skiing and the skating.. Tonight is the bobsleds.. Usually the ones I like are on so late. I am fascinated with all the sports on snow and ice. You see I am a real Florida gal that has never had exposure to those things.I like your inner voice message...
Meme - That poor child...I surely hope that the right Dr. can be found and the proper treatment. I know how his mother must feel, but she will have to let the Dr. treat him as they feel is the right method. You have to take care of yourself so you can be there for your daughter and help her... I too eat when I am stressed.Hunger has nothing to do with it. I have crammed food in my mouth and didn't even realized I was doing it...
Ally- Sounds like you are looking for some excitement. I doubt you will find it in a porn movie etc... I never could get excited with them.. My hubby used to look at them.. He asked me to watch them too.. I told him after a couple min. to have a good time, my books were more interesting. I remember when Burt Reynolds did Playgirl Magazine .(Centerfold.) My sister-in-law and I went and bought it. We laughed our heads off when we got outside the store. Inside we were standing in front of the rack waiting for some guy to leave when the clerk said "o.k. ladies ,which one of you are going to buy it?"I said "oh **** ,I guess I will". It was no big deal and neither was what he had...
Candice ..You may have to resort to darts in your waist.(jeans)I don't like the stretchy jeans..
Mima... When you get back to your home and Your sweety the days will be sweeter. I could not eat 100 points a day... I gain weight very fast.
Bye.. Joanne
Hey guys..... Just for fun I responded to a personals ad. The guy immediately responded and has the same name as my old boyfriend who was over here last nite. Too weird.
Confession. Had a McChicken Sandwich today. Couldn't help it....Have walked three times with the dog though.
Hey Ally, do you have any singles groups around-I met Brad at Christian singles and my deceased husband at parents without Partners, Then you get to know the people, have some fun, do fun things with a group. I really recommend it. I got in big trouble on the internet-went out with a liar. Be careful-from the voice of experience. Today is our last day until 3/15. It's wonderful so far-went to dinner theater last night. Saw the Unsinkable molly Brown. Dinner with the family tonight and the bus at 6am to catch the train. We have the whole wedding planned-yes, more so than ever, it will happen May 4. My daughter is going to help me pick out a dress when she gets here,Meme-that's awful about Ross. I'll put him on my prayer list. Hi Joanne-can you see me waving. Anne-hope you are constantly improving and you too Candice. Mima
Mon am-got up at 4, cooked breakfast, took Brad to Amtrak bus for 6, went shopping at 24 hour Walmart on the way home. I'm ok-18 days til I go homwe and then I know we will be getting married in a month and a half. I am going to a get together at 1 today so that will be nice. Brad said he had the best vacation in his life-he works very hard and when he came to FL: with his wife , they had to visit her parents. I certainly had the best extended vacation-I have gone on many , some disasters etc. Ok -I did it-I am writing my WW points down and I bought good frozen dinners-even if I bring them to Mike;s. I( dare not get on the scale.I think I'll go to WW on Friday-it's down the street. Back to bed for me. Mima
Good morning Mima. Probabably not the happiest day of your life!; but as you say, in just a few more days you will home and then you will be planning a wedding. I am so happy for you - that you were able to find someone special to share this time of your life. Time goes so fast - EXCEPT when you are waiting for something, then is seems to slow right down. I have been meaning to ask how your back is? I hope that you got that taken care of. Enjoy your day and just rest.
Meme - hope you are back on track. It is hard to get back on when you fall off, at least it is for me. I can forget everything I learned so easily. I do hope Ross is feeling better, and that he has stopped hearing voices. That is so terribly scarrey.
Ally - Why not join a computer dating club. My daughter talked her best friend into doing that, and she met the nicest fellow. They dated for over a year and then got married. Her other friend decided to try it as well. She is a very heavy girl but has such a sparkling personality and she is so pretty. People can't see passed the fat person I guess. Anyway, she has met a few nice fellows, and my daughter was telling me this last guy might be the keeper. I hope so for her sake - she wants so much to be happily married like her friends. If you go out with any of these guys, meet them in a public place first and then if you feel ok about it set up a date. Have fun and be careful. And besides, that, Ally, what are the odds of a fellow from a personal ad having the same name as an old boyfriend. That would freak me out!
Candice - by the time you get the waistband of those pants fixed, you will need a size smaller:lol. I hope you are feeling better.
Joanne - Hi. How goes the battle? I suppose you are having nice warm weather. Here, we are having a cold front and I mean cold. It was 20 below zero when we woke up this morning. This is the coldest day so far - however, tomorrow it is supposed to be 32 above and getting warmer each day until the weekend, and then it is going to cool off a bit. Nothing as dramatic as above.
Well, I was so excited watching that hockey game yesterday. What a good game. I am so happy that Canada finally won - it has been 50 years since they won a gold medal in hockey. Canada was celebrating yesterday!!! The woman also won gold, so the fellows had a bit more incentive
I'm really trying to get back on track today. I've had a really rough week and ate way too many carbs and junk. It was like I couldn't stop myself! I still can't believe I ate ALL those choc. covered raisins...it was a huge plastic container from Sams. Hubby ate a few but I ate most of them. Kind of like being on a runaway train!!! NOTHING seemed to fill me up. I know it is stress and worry...
Ross did the same thing at school this morning. He got inside and it was like something clicked in his head...I'm alone now...and he freaked out. Went running after his mother screaming. This time, however, she hadn't left. She waited around outside to see if he was going to do that again. Then she caught him when he got to the door. He scratched one of his teacher's arms all up trying to get away from her. It's like he is possessed or something. I'm afraid they are going to have to pull him out of school. And when they do he will have to stay with me because I'm the only one who can control him. Actually, he does better for me than he does for his parents but I don't know how I'm going to do that physically, it sure won't be easy! They certainly can't get a stranger to keep him and there just isn't anybody else. He wouldn't even go to Sunday School or Children's Church yesterday morning. His mom said he went to their class with them and also sat with them in church. It's like he is afraid to leave them or something. And this is kind of weird, too, last Friday when I got him from school he had to go to the bathroom and said he was afraid to go in there would I go with him. I took him and he said...Meme, stand right there in case something grabs me! I'm telling you...I'm SOOOOO worried about him. But...I'm trying really hard not to eat today. I'm trying to keep busy doing something else and once I was so frustrated (can't think straight) that I just went to bed for a couple of hours. I figured sleep was better than food!
Meme, whad a dreadful time that child is having. They are going to have to find someway to help this child. You may control him now, but for how long. He desperatley needs some help. The poor baby, my heart goes out to him and you and all his family This is so terrible. I would worry myself sick and we all know what that is going to do to you! You make sure and get yourself here to talk and let off steam. No way you will be able to deal with all this stress alone; it will just be a matter of time before you are down and out as well. I hope God hears the prayers being sent for this little fellow.
Ally- I really think that Happy and Memi too gave you some good advice.. Paper date are usually a bust! The men do these things as well as the women. My son went that route. I could write a book on some of the things he has told me about it. He also has tried the computer dating...His sister and I have told him About church groups etc.. I guess he will have to find his own way. All he got out of it was a lot of money down the drain..Why won't our kids listen. Ofcourse he is 43 so I guess it is too late to listen to mama. What a joke?
Meme- It really sounds like your G/child is crying out for help.. You love him so much that you will probably try most anything. Eventually you will have to let the professionals handle it.Family members are too close..
Happy -we have been warm for a few days. We are supposed to get some cold weather this week. I gained 4 lbs. Stress eating!Back on tract today. Only had 18 pts. so far. I can go to 20-25.. I kept busy so didn't really have time to think too much about food. I also planned a little better. My back is still hurting but I'll live.
Mima.. O.K. when you go over my house WAVE..
Bye you all
Joanne
Joanne...we are trying to get professional help for him...have been trying for several weeks...hence the medicine reaction!!! Got the WRONG professional!!! I can't believe how long it takes to get an appointment with these people. My daughter and S-I-L have an app. with a woman on Monday. They will have to fill out a bunch of papers and then wait until later in the week for her to see Ross. S-I-L's Grandmother died tonight...if it isn't one thing it's another!
I did a little better eating today. I did really good until dinner...ate a little too much...hubby made fried potatoes (my absolute favorite) and fried some ham while I was teaching piano downstairs...the kitchen is at the top of the stairs and by the time I finished with lessons the whole basement smelled of dinner...guess I just got too hungry! I had about 10 points before dinner and then probably had another 15 FOR dinner! Then I turned around and ate some "Corn Pops" about 10:30...I'll do better tomorrow!
Hi guys! Oh Meme, poor Ross, I pray he gets the help he needs. My prayers are with you. Also, it's so hard to get back on track after you've been off. I will try again today. Went to a party yesterday-what fun. All they did was tease me. This is such a fun group-we were all here last year when I was single but are now scattered around\ Ft. Myers. My honey will be in New York by 10 so I hope I'll get a call. He forgot his cell phone so he can't call me from the train. At least when he's home we can talk. I'm waliking this moening-it's going to get cold tomorrow.But not like you Happy. Congrats on the hockey win. MY back is not good=I'm going to find a massage place.And get a haircut and perm and my nails done. Fixup week. Hi Joanne, Ally, -take our advice. You can't go back!!!!!!!!Friends first.Bye for now. Mima
Well, the bad news is I have the flu. The good news is I might have lost a couple of pounds.
The computer guy and I have already had our first disagreement. He sent me the poem he sent to his last girlfriend. I advised him that it seemed a little intense and perhaps scared her away. He doesn't like criticism. Still got old boyfriends to deal with so might as well just leave well enough alone right now.
Meme -Have any of the Dr's diagnosed Ross yet? I hope things start looking better soon.. Good on your diet. Your hubby is trying to help you. Get him some of the ora-ida potatoes. You (him) can put them in the oven and they are less points. I use my George Foreman for most meats. less fat and points. I have been working on my points closer lately too. Evenings are my worst time too.
Ally Glad you lost the couple lbs ,but, getting sick is not the best way to do it. Hope you feel better soon.
Mima- I walk every day too. I bet it will be really cold to do that tomorrow. I walk to the beach. It gets really windy on a causeway to the beach. It is about a mile long. water on both sides,
Happy.. Hello, How you doing with WW?
Bye- Joanne
