[fatmad]

Carol: you are totally right. You be the loving supportive wife now, and let the nurses and docs do their job and get him up. He should be getting something for pain just before they get him up, you can advocate for that. I always gave a little bit of pain med before any painful procedure. Makes it tolerable and easier on me too. Unless they have a good reason why not, its the way to go IMHO. i hope he is asking for his meds, and he and you should speak with his doctor about it if he is in too much pain.
Trish: from all my reading about my own insomnia, sleep changes and disturbances are very common as we age, and we have the resources to adapt. Either by taking a break and having "second sleep" (waking for an hour or two in the night, then going back to sleep) or napping during the day. I have been putting on my meditations through ear buds to help me get back to sleep. Its not always working, sometimes I just have thoughts that feel "awake" and my brain and body have no interest in sleeping.

Today I am at 155, so no big losses with this fast. I am thinking I will keep fasting today and break my fast tomorrow afternoon before the party. I may change my mind today. As long as I feel good I will go with it. Waist is a definite 34 inches now. Goal is 32 or 31.5, at that point I am half as big around as I am tall. That's supposed to be some healthy milestone. I figure that will happen eventually, but still seems a long way away. But so did 34 and 35, when I was 38 around. 155 seemed impossible when I was in the 180s .
Time for tea.
have a good day

[Wannabehealthy]

DH just called and he is in good spirits. He said the pain is getting better little by little, but keep in mind, this is while still in bed after a night's sleep with some pain meds. It might be a different story after the "mean girls" come in and make him get out of bed and stand up. I hope that part is over before I get there. DIL is leaving work at 12. Will drive me to the hosp, then go to her dentist appointment, then pick me up to come home when she's finished. I don't know if she will come in to see DH or not. I won't mention it, but it's up to her. The snow on the roads is gone so there should be no problem. No more snow until tonight, and I don't think I will go to the hosp tomorrow.

Mad, the nurse told me they will be pulling him off narcotic meds soon, and he is allow so many doses of Tylenol 3 intervenous before they stop that too. I understand they don't want him to become addicted and I don't either, but I don't know if they are only treating him for "post open heart" or if they are taking the hip surgery into consideration, too. It seems the doctor is never there when I'm there, and my time there is limited to the rides I am able to get, and coming home to care for my dog. DH doesn't remember to ask questions, and doesn't usually remember what the answers are. I will see how his pain level seems today.

They are still talking about him going to a rehab center when he leaves the hospital. They have a list of what's available, and there is one that's less than 2 miles from home that I COULD get to without going on the highway, going through housing plans, weather permitting. And they told me if I belong to the local ambulance company, which I do, they will transport him home which is important due to the stairs getting into our house. Then I'm considering getting a hospital bed for a while if insurance will pay for it. I remember from my open heart surgery that it was very hard to lie flat in bed with the scar. It really pulled. I slept in my recliner mostly, but he is tall, and it's not as comfortable for him. And he will probably have a nurse coming in for a while, and maybe some more home therapy for the hip. It's all falling into place. I become more at peace when I hear these things. When I'm lying awake at night all sorts of what-ifs run through my mind.

So I took some G this morning. I don't know if I took enough. I took 1 MG but then I ate 2 eggs and 1 slice of Nickles 35 toast, which is similar to Sara Lee 45. Blood sugar is 188 now. Depending on what I eat the rest of the day, I will test and see if I need more. I have been eating breakfast and lunch and no dinner, so blood sugar is usually very good by bedtime. They checked DHs blood sugar a couple times and it was 118 the one time and they said that was good. But he has been eating very little and it should probably be lower than that. But if they are not concerned, I won't be either. I have a tendency to keep telling him he needs to eat then I remember he is doing a form of IF so that is probably beneficial to him.

[pattygirl63]

Carol Sue Sounds like things are getting better. Of course, I understand that your DH is going through a lot and I agree that you need to let the doctors and nurses do their job and you just be his supportive wife. I'm sure there are little loving things you can say to encourage him while at the same time he feels more like someone is on his side. I'm sure he knows it, but you are not the one who should be the toughie right now. Therapists etc are trained to deal with those situations. Hopefully he will know that the few things you say to him are from your own experience with the open heart surgery. While his bs isn't perfect, it isn't really considered a problem at this time and we can just pray that it won't be. I think getting him into a rehab closer to the house is a good idea as well. You are going into the winter months and y'all have such crazy weather changes with the snow etc and it will be nice for you to be able to go see him when weather is good. It is nice that DIL is able to take you to see him at the hospital.

Your weight is coming down nicely. I agree the FBS is stress related. As things get settled, I think that will settle down for you. Prayers continue for y'all. I think as things fall in place for DH's future of recovery will probably be a big help to him and his attitude and bring less stress for you.

My weight is back down to 217.6 this morning. FBS was 149. I'm not on any particular diet right now. I am mostly doing more of an IE and semi-IF. I say semi because, I eat to ease the acidic stomach and sometimes that mean a few crackers to soak it up. I think the FBS is from the body stress of my stomach which will be better when get that under control. Switching to decaf coffee from caffeine doesn't help much because I end up with a terrible headache. I actually feel like I have a little fever right not, but haven't checked it.

I got an article from WebMD today on depression and it described exactly what I'm feeling so I'm wondering if I'm depressed. Depression is pretty much a new experience for me so it isn't easy for me to deal with. Daddy and both my DS experience depression a lot and I think DH does too, but I don't. I never had time for it. I read that exercise is so important to get past it, but they said it is difficult because when depressed you don't feel like exercising. So it becomes a vicious circle. So I did make myself ride the bike today.

fatmad I have a Christian music cd that I play as I go to sleep. I have been taking the Cherry Extract before going to bed and praying is my meditation as I go to sleep. I seldom ever hear the last song on the cd. So I go to sleep peacefully and could sleep through the night if I didn't have to get up and go to the bathroom. I have gotten up at different hours depending on work schedules through out my lifetime and it is strange how I can wake up at those times to go to the bathroom. Most of the time, I can sleep about 3 to 4 hrs before my bladder wakes me. I don't have any problems going back to sleep as soon as I get back in bed. My problem getting enough sleep is trying to get there before 1 or 1:30 am. I do have a habit of falling asleep in my recliner while trying to watch something on tv DH wants me to watch with him. When I'm sleepy, he is just really coming alive ready to talk etc.

I hope to get past all this stomach stuff soon and get back to regular IF/IE. It isn't easy to fast when even drinking plain water can give me indigestion, but I am doing it as good as I can. I am working very hard not to go back up to 220s and would like to get back below 210s. So I am still counting calories on MFP to keep all that under control and exercising. Not worrying about going extremely low carb but keeping them lower. I am going to have to fight myself out of this depression. I've never put up with it before and I will not do it this time either. At least it is something I feel I can change and I am thankful for that. I also just realized that I'm still taking the statin and I remember I had to come of off it before because it caused me to be depressed. I will keep taking it until I see doc next month, but if it is the statin, I will refuse to take it.

Time to cook lunch. Cooking cod fish today. Carol Sue I remember you telling me you use your grill pan to cook it on top of stove so I cooked it that way last time we had it and DH loves it that way better than pan fried like I used to cook it. Less calories and healthier so that is how I will be cooking it from now own. I am so glad he likes it cooked healthier. He likes it better than the suai I used to buy and fried with a little bit of corn meal.

I hope you have a good visit with your DH today.

Hope everybody is having a good day.

[pattygirl63]

After reading I could be experiencing symptoms of depression, I am making myself work at overcoming it. I am attempting to make today a 5 hr eating window if I can and I did 20 minutes exercise on the bike this morning and 10 minutes tonight. I also did about 10 minutes of strengthening exercises which also included some weights. Hopefully the exercise will help me strengthen my legs and also help with my feelings and attitude. Decided to track my calories for today on MFP (I'm not good at doing this everyday), but if I can keep from eating anything else today, my total calories are a little less thant 1110. I've given up the GOLO pills and only using the berberine and sugar support supplements. Still working at doing only IF/IE and no food is off limits. I think it is an excellent plan.

Carol Sue I pray you had a good visit with DH and he is starting to feel better about things. As you and I know, there comes a time when we know we do not want to be invalids and as for me I don't want to go down the road my Daddy is. I don't know if I can stop it, but I am going to do my best. Hopefully, your DH will come to the same realization.

[Wannabehealthy]

The visit with DH started out good. When I talked to him on the phone before we went he was very upbeat and told me things were getting better little by little, but I told you that was because he had had pain meds and slept all night. Right as we were leaving to go there he called again and was starting to feel terrible and telling me the awful things that had happened. When I got there he was feeling a little better. The rehab people came in and got him to walk a little bit with the walker and the two of them supporting him. It went down hill from there. He started back telling me that he's dying, and saying Goodbye, which turns me into an emotional wreck. I told him I am so tired and wanted to stay home a day or 2 and he said "You can't I'll go crazy!" So I guess I will go tomorrow at least, but I really feel that I need a rest.

[pattygirl63]

Carol Sue I am so sorry. I'm thinking he isn't getting the pain relief he should be getting or else he has a low threshold for pain or both. I know you always talked about how he wouldn't go to the doctor and he never seemed to understand why you went so much and did what they said or work so hard to learn how to manage your health. I still think he feels overwhelmed.

After saying all that, I agree that you do have to be there for him, but you also have to take care of yourself along the way. You may have to go see him every other day or two. I know exactly what you are going through. But having tried to be there so much for my Daddy, I have to tell you that you need to take care of your health and don't feel guilty about having to do that. DS and I have had to learn to do that with Daddy because she is having health problems just like I am and she has been told by the doctor that she is stressed out and is calm down. It is hard to do when you have people depending on you, but there comes a time when we have to realize the alternative.

Believe me I know it is much easier said that done. For a long time Daddy would say things to make me feel bad about not going to see him so much. I realize my situation is not the same as with a mate, but I remember when my step-mom was in the nursing home how Daddy pushed himself to go see her and as long as he could lift her to put her in the truck he took her places. DS and I both think all that stress is why he is where he is. So we are trying to destress which is very hard to do. So I have no real answers for you, but I will continue praying for you and him. I do believe when he gets passed all the pain that he will be better about everything. I just hope he isn't so scared of the pain that he doesn't try to get up and walk. I believe the main reason Daddy cannot walk is more the fear of falling than the weakness of his legs and of course the longer he doesn't use them to more weaker they get.

Prayer is all I know to do for you and your DH. Hugs dear friend.

[fatmad]

Oh Carol: how difficult for you. But truly, these ups and downs are normal with healing. But of course hearing things like say "goodbye" is hard. Its his way of saying he loves and needs you, and he is scared. I am sure he thinks that pain means terrible things, instead of healing. So he will be difficult at times, and you have to harden yourself a little and not feel guilty if you can't be there all the time. I remember when my mother told me that she needed to be home more and only see Dad in the hospital occasionally, like once or twice a week. This was when he was in for over 2 months. It was the right decision. It took me a little to get my head around it. But once I too realized he wasn't going to die on us if we left the hospital, it got easier. DH is not fixing to go just yet! Once you both get your heads there, it will be easier. But that will come at the pace that is right for you.
In the meantime, you are doing well and taking good care of yourself. The rehab place close by sounds just right. If he is there and able to get walking well enough before he comes home, then just getting up the stairs into the house may be all the help he needs for a bit. But plans would have to be made for him to get to doctor appointments if he is not to do any stairs. And if you can't drive there.

Trish, IF will do just fine for you for now. Eat well and keep to it if you can with the other things going on.

I broke my fast this evening. We had a nice time skiing today. I did cross-country for an hour, DH did downhill for a couple of hours. My back has been sore and I was hoping the exercise would help, but its a bit worse. It doesn't seem to be where I hit it, its lower down, on one side. Feels bruised and tender though. I am wondering about kidney stuff. I don't seem to have a fever. I took some pain meds, not helping much. no blood in my urine. I will call the doctor if its worse tomorrow. And I told DH to make me go to hospital if I spike a fever overnight. Its just kind of odd for my back to be worse a week after the fall. I hate having things go wrong with my body when I am working so hard to get into shape.

Speaking of which, I heard about the ultrasound. All that came back was that I have fatty liver. No comparison with the previous scan. I am frustrated about that.
I am considering getting a dexascan if I can find a place for it. Its available in Toronto, so I may make a plan to do that. I have to pay out of pocket, but I can get a more accurate comparison and check it out. I will ask DH if he wants that too. It will also tell us about osteoporosis if I read the literature properly. I am not very worried about that, its one of the good things about being overweight, it tends to prevent osteoporosis.

Thats about it for me today, I hope everything goes well for you friends!

[Wannabehealthy]

Wt 187.5 FBG 121 Both perfectly where I want to be right now. Something to be thankful for.

A lot of people told me they would be stress eating in my position and gaining instead of losing. There are circumstances where I would be that way, and then others, such as now, where I lose my appetite and am eating very little. If I were to be making a list of good things and bad things through this, this would be on the side of good things. Something positive that's coming out of this.

Last night I was relieved to get home where I could relax and no longer have to listen to DH's negativity. Then just as I got into bed and fell asleep he called and woke me back up. He was full of complaints, negative comments, but told me that he needed to complain to someone and wanted me to be the one to just let him complain, knowing there was nothing I could do to change things. I did talk about a couple other things to get his mind off of his situation and that would work for a few minutes. Then he said he might call back later if he needed to vent but didn't. He doesn't understand that by keeping me awake when I need sleep so badly is not going to make it easier for me to visit more with him. At that time he needed me. Sometimes I do think that like your mother, I need to only go a couple times a week but I feel that I am deserting him in his time of need, but maybe if I'm not there to lean on all the time he will stand on his own two feet.....literally. A lot of people don't understand that.

[fatmad]

Today am under 155. after eating last night. Tonight will be a bit of a crazy feast, will allow the carbs to all be from alcohol, if I am drinking at all. I can't if my back is too sore and I need to take tylenol. No alcohol at all then. The back is better, I can move without pain, but still tender to the touch. I hope a day of minimal exercise will help.
Plan is to eat 2MAD today, fast on Friday, and eat on Saturday, 1MAD on Sunday. Fast early in the week next week. I am still hoping to get to 150 by Christmas. Kind of depends on how I do with the holiday partying. Alcohol is not only carb intensive, it makes me not care what and how much I eat.

TMI alert: have also been rather constipated lately. This does seem to occur when I stay on the low carb train. I have tried things like chia seeds in water to help, some senna and such. Not working very well. The constipation also seems to slow the weight loss. I will do a search on the IF site about it and see what else is recommended. Psyllium like Metamucil doesn't agree with me, and of course bran based things have gluten. Ugh. Hope I can get around this.

Carol: Its good that DH feels comfy venting to you, but you are right, you can't be interrupted in your sleep and go to the hospital . I wonder too if he could call and put you on speaker when the doctor is there. Is he writing down questions. Of course its hard for him when he is taking pain meds, to remember what to ask, and remember and understand the answers! poor guy. But managing all that and taking care of yourself is a hard balancing act. I hope his kids are helping out with things a bit, and are ready to step it up too.

Trish, how is the tummy today? Keep up with the 2MAD and eat what feels right. It will work eventually.

Had trouble getting to sleep last night. Hope I can get a nap this afternoon before we get ready for the party. I will wear a dress I have not worn for years, so I am sure few if any of my colleagues have seen it. DH completely forgets ever seeing me in it. Its rather loose, was thinking of belting it. I have something appropriately snazzy and jazzy for that. Some of my belts were too loose too, so the trying on process was rather fun. Still have a dress I bought when I lost weight before DD wedding. I was looking for a certain look, and ordered dresses online. The sizing was off, but it was so difficult to return things that I never did. This one still has the tags on it. I am nearly there, I think once I am at 150 or lower and the weight settles there it will be fine and will be great for wearing this winter for dressy occasions. Look at me, thinking about all that with hope.

[pattygirl63]

Carol Sue and fatmad You girls are doing so great and y'all are inspiring me along. So happy for both of you.

fatmad Sounds like fun looking forward to lower weight and smaller clothes. Are you drinking enough water? I know I have to really work at getting the fluids in when it is so cold out.

Carol Sue I always lost weight and kept bs good when Daddy was in the hospital and DH was in the hospital. I think it was because I usually ate at the hospital and unless DBIL got us take out, I would go down to the cafeteria and could usually get a pretty decent healthy meal. I would end up eating only 1MAD and then I was doing all that walking. I didn't get hungry either.

I am so sorry DH interrupted your sleep. I pray he will begin to understand his situation and adjust to the fact that how well his recovery goes depends on him. Do you remember how you felt when you had the open heart surgery? I'm grasping for ideas here as I have no idea how to handle this situation. But I am wondering if there is some fear there that he isn't voicing. Men seem to think they have to not show fear so it comes out some other way. I may be way off base here so ignore if I am. I'm just thinking maybe he is having some feelings that he isn't sharing with you. I hope since he is comfortable calling and venting with you that it will surface so you can help him. I just going by what I shared yesterday about Daddy never could get past the fear of falling when the therapists got him to walk. Prayers continue for y'all. Being the caregiver is just as stressful for the one we are caring for.

We are getting a cold spell and rain with it for 3 days. Tomorrow is supposed to be bad. I already told Daddy that I am not coming out if it is pouring down rain like it has been the last few days I went out there by myself when it rained. It is so windy out there on that hill off the lake and even with a hooded raincoat and an umbrella, I got soaking wet all the way down to my underwear and sock. I wouldn't even go to the beauty shop, but I need a hair cut. I don't think it is supposed to freeze, but if it does, I definitely won't get out.

I did end up eating something last night. Weight is still at 217.6 and FBS was 160. Too many carbs yesterday. At least the weight is settling which I hope it is getting ready to go lower if it follows suit to how I usually lose.

I actually feel a little better. Digestive problems not as bad. I didn't drink coffee today. I read up on a few things to help with depression etc and green tea was a suggested drink. Since I think the acid in the coffee rather than the caffeine is the problem, I decided to make a little Keurig pot of green tea and have that for breakfast instead of the coffee. Even decaf has some of the acid. Also, I only use about a tsp of Stevia in the tea, but no H&H. So I saved calories there. I'm also drinking a cup of Oolong tea right now, but have to be careful with that and other herb teas because they bring bs down drastically sometime.

I have decided that I might not be eating enough protein which DS read can cause us to feel fatigue. She got an article from WebMD that tells how to figure the amount you need according to your weight. She is going to send the link to me and I will go figure that out. Strange thing is I had thought about that while laying in bed this morning. So I am going to work at getting more protein and cut back some on the carbs I eat. I am going to keep the 8:16 IF ration for now. However, I want to make my meals 2MAD with 1 snack. Most days I will probably be eating around 1200 calories a day. I have a lot of turkey I had frozen that my niece sent home with me TD so I will use that to make add a protein salad snack the last thing I eat to end my 8 hr eating window.

Hope everybody is having a nice day.

[fatmad]

Did ok at the party last night. I didn't overeat or over drink. This am I was up to 156.5 so not a big gain with the food and drink. Fasting today. Planning lunch and early supper tomorrow, then a 24 hr fast and eat Sunday night. That covers my social life well.
I hope DH is doing well today Carol, and they are getting ready for the rehab.
Trish, enjoy the 2MAD and keep your eating window smallish, and things will work out well.
DD is here, has exams today and tomorrow. I will walk her dog and cook for her. DH laughs at that, since I don't cook for him when I am fasting. I say he is not writing exams.
We also have a friend staying over last 3 nights, while he is getting floors refinished. His wife is home tonight from a conference, they may stay over again if the odours are too bad at home, she is quite sensitive to that, having fibromyalgia and fatigue syndromes. Its nice to be able to take care of friends and family. They are no trouble, DH and I are just living our lives normally around it all.
Tomorrow, my sister and I will be going to our hometown to check the headstone for my parents, close out the bank account, take his lady friend out to lunch and then have supper with our elderly Aunt and Uncle. Busy day, overall. DH may come along, I will be glad if he does. I expect it to be a little emotional.
back is still tender, not worse at least.
Hope everyone has a good.

[Wannabehealthy]

DH had good day yesterday, bad again today. Nurse said that will happen. I will report in when I can but if I don't, don't worry. Lots of things to take care of.

Please continue prayers. Thank you.

88 year old man across the street started a fire in his burn barrel. Ended up catching himself on fire and died. Very sad. DH's friend. He worked with him since he was 25 years old.

[pattygirl63]

Carol Sue Sorry to hear DH is having a bad day so far. Hopefully it will get better as the day goes on. You know the old saying "Bad beginning good ending". I'm glad you did check in. However, I pray for your health as you go through this too because of the stress. I prayed for your DH to have a good night's rest, but don't remember praying about his day. I need to be more specific when I am praying for him. I'm a great believer in prayer and trusting God for the results, but sometimes I'm not sure I ask Him for enough. I pray he and you will have a good afternoon and evening and get plenty of rest tonight.

So sorry about your neighbor. That is soo soo sad.

fatmad Sounds like you are having some busy days ahead. It is so nice the way you have settled into your IF routine to work around it. You are doing great. I pray things will go well while you are finishing up your Daddy's business situations. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

I don't like the way my body feels eating the way I eat. I do like the way it feels when I am doing low carb. I've decided to either go back to CAD/CALP or to go back to low carbing. The nice thing about CAD/CALP is that I get the best of both worlds of eating low carb for meals and snack except for one meal when I get to eat other carbs not allowed on low carb plans. It might be a task but I am even thinking about going back on an Atkins type of eating plan, but either way to stay on IF. I actually saw a woman on one of the FB keto/low carb IF support groups that is doing an IF/CAD combo.

Being in that frame of mind this morning, I had an omelet for breakfast before I left for the beauty shop. It is raining like crazy here so I just went there and back. Beautician was telling me of a low carb soup she makes and keeps on hand for those times when she has a hard time staying OP low carbing and doesn't want to cook but wants something like "now". I don't have all the ingredients right now and didn't want to go to store in the gully washer, but I think I can still make one from some of the veggies and meat that I do have on hand. I even thought of making a soup to replace the salad I usually need to eat during CAD's Reward Meal (carby meal). It was good to get some new ideas and I can also go on line and find some good low car/keto recipes that I can use for my low carb meals/snacks.

Y'all have a good day Everybody.

[Wannabehealthy]

The second time I talked to DH he was much better, and he was great the rest of the day. He will be calling again around 9 if he doesn't fall asleep. This way of him calling me keeps me from waking him up when he falls asleep and not interrupting things they are doing.

He has had different information given to him by different people, but all signs indicate he will be at the rehab center by Monday. Someone else told him Sat or Sun, but I don't know if any of these people are actually official or just surmising. He is very excited at the thought of getting out of there, and I thought he would try to refuse the rehab center. But one day we were talking and I told him he could not come home unless he was able to walk, get in and out of bed himself, and go to the bathroom himself...with the walker, of course, by without my assistance. I would never be able to lift him, but maybe just guide him. That must have sunk in to him and he realizes it's true. He actually said "It's motivating when you think you're going to be able to leave." All along they have been telling him he has to get moving if he wants to go home. So if he does well at the rehab it should be for one week, and then home. I will be very happy to see him, but it's scary to think of him coming home, wondering how he will do without the medical help.

On the day he comes home, I plan on having "I'll Be Home for Christmas" playing on the computer from Youtube.

[fatmad]

On the day he comes home, I plan on having "I'll Be Home for Christmas" playing on the computer from Youtube.

that is perfect Carol: just how you want things. And now the perfect excuse for a quiet Christmas. Anyone who comes has to bring the food.