As I'm typing this I am . My Bf dad has put me into tears. He's been hounding me all day to make him some doughnuts and I've been telling him we don't have all the stuff to make them. He's saying yes we do you B***H you just don't want me to have anything sweet cause you can't say no to them. I can and have many time said no to sugary food/sweets, we don't have all the stuff to make them if we did I would be making them for him. His wife died 7 yrs ago from diabtetes complaications. He has told me that if I don't make them for him now I can get the F**k out! I called his son ( my Bf ) at work crying and told him what his dad as said, boy is he ever mad at his dad right now. He called back and told his dad to LAY OFF she not lieing we don't have enough to make them. Jake ( bf's dad ) told his son over the phone that he's tired of not being able to have all the sweets he wants because she can't a backbone to say no she can get the F**K out. I'm not sure what my bf said but I heard Jake say that we could all get the F out too.

I have a backbone, I can say no to foods I'm not allowed to eat much of. I think the world of my bf's dad, but I'm tired of not getting any support from him.

I need some cheering up.

Linda - Here is a big for you. I am sorry this man is being such a to you today. It sounds like he is a very sad, angry, old man and he feels that he has the right to take this out on you. If you are relying on him for a place to live it is probably even worse. He probably feels he has free range to use you as an emotional punching bag. I don't care what your situation is, but no one ever has the right to treat another person like that. He hasn't earned the right to be an just because you are living in his house. Can you go out for awhile to get away from him? Take a walk or something?

I'm so sorry about this abusive behavior sweetie. The issue here is not whether you will or won't make donuts, or don't have ingredients. The issue is how no one has the right to treat you this way, ever. I hope you can find it in yourself to see you are worth more than this and insist that he treat you right. Hope your day gets better. ((HUGS))

Does he have mental health issues, possibly alzheimers or other dementia? The abusive tantrum behavior is very strange, and I think you and BF need to talk (alone) and then BF needs to talk to his dad, making it clear to him that you are not his servant, and that you definitely won't be doing him favors of ANY kind when he is abusive. Since he's behaving like a spoiled child, you and BF are going to have to treat him as such (even if it's caused by mental illness or dementia, limits need to be reinforced if he is going to act like an unruly child).

I wish I could but he can't be left alone due to his health ( prone to falls and he has parkinsons). I'm unable to work right now due to some health issues I have, diabetes being one of them. I have family but they won't help me out they'll help my daughter but not me. One aunt went as far as telling me that she'd take and raise my daughter so that she'd have a better life then what I could give her. This is the same aunt that when I was three months pregnant with my daughter told me to go and have an abortion that I would never be a good mother.

I've told him that while he's out to the adult daycare ( tue, thur, and fri ) to take some attitude classes while he's there. I'm a person not your slave get up off your *** and get some of your own food your not that helpless that you can't do somethings for yourself.

My daughter just made my day. She asked me about what Bell's Palsy was so I went to a website and showed her some pic's of what happens when a person as it. She turned and looked at me gave me a and a kiss on my right cheek ( which is my affected side ) and said " Mommy I don't care if your face falls all the way to the floor, you'll still be the prettiest mommy to me in the world. "

[QUOTE=kaplods;1620711]Does he have mental health issues, possibly alzheimers or other dementia? QUOTE]

We think so. He'll ask one of us to get him something to eat then 5 minutes later ask the same thing again.

We have talked about this and he has talked to his dad saying that if she leaves I'll go with her and you'll end up in a nursing home all alone. She the best GF I've ever had ( stuck by me with all that you've put me through ) and has never asked for anything but our support since most her own family won't stick by her but wants to see her fail ( have my child taken away from me ). He told his dad that if he doesn't want to behave and be nice then she has every right to not help you out.

Parkinson's and the drugs used to treat it can cause dementia, depression, mood disorders and even psychosis, so some of his behavior may not be under his control (and that he may have had some earlier emotional issues doesn't help).

Since Parkinson's and the drugs effects are progressive, it's not likely to get better. It sounds like most of his care falls on you, which is very stressful. If you can find a local support group (call the local hospital and ask to speak to a social worker or community advocate, explain the situation and ask if there are support groups that might fit your situation), it will help to talk to others who are dealing with the same issues. If his medical coverage or local non-profit organization or funding sources can pay for a home health aid to come in periodically, this would take some of the burden off of you. Community mental health organizations often provide this care on a sliding scale or have low-cost or even free programs, so it pays to do a little digging.

There definitely aren't any quick fixes to your situation, so take care of yourself, try to find some help and support, and know this isn't at all about you.

That what we thought all along. We hope that when his time comes to go that he can do it at home, but we fear that he'll be in a nursing home when it does happen. We know that there will be a time when he'll need 24 constant nursing care that we can't provide and be forced to place him in a nursing home.


He has passport ( for the elderly ) and we have home health care in here 7 days a week ( Mon. - Fri. from 6am - 8am then Sat. & Sun. for one hour ) I take advantage of it on the weekend ( Bf works ) I go for a walk while their here, but on the week days their here I don't get the chance to do much cause I have my daughter to get ready for school and they come way to early for me to get much done for myself. When his son is home I go and have some time to myself I go, but that is only 1 day a week that it happens.

I have gotten to the point now that when he ( dad ) starts in on me I say fine do it your self, and leave the room, go upstairs and turn on my music, and peruse the internet till he calms down.

Since he got on me today I have been upstairs all day long only going down to do my business ( I have a baby monitor on so that I can hear if he is in need of help right away ). He finally settled down and asked if I could make them this weekend ( doughnuts ) and I said yes if K ( my BF ) can get the rest of the stuff to make them.

I'm glad you at least have some support, and that you can take care of yourself when you need to. My grandparents moved in with us when I was 10, and my grandmother never adjusted to not being in control. She passed away right before my high school prom, and grandpa had to go into the nursing home after a stroke a few years later. It was the hardest thing my parents had to do, but it ended up being really good for him. The structured environment got him involved in life again (playing bingo, having lunch with the guys, fighting off the women - REALLY! - the men are so outnumbered that the ladies all flirt like mad. Mom visited daily, and the rest of us twice a week because the nursing home was only four blocks from our house).

Good Luck!