3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

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-   -   diet failure :-( (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/depression-weight-issues/92973-diet-failure.html)

giovannip811 09-03-2006 06:31 PM

diet failure :-(
hi everyone. im a teen and i am overweight. i am 189 pounds and i am overweight. i tried calorie counting, did not work. i tried low carb, did not work. i tried, exercising, and i gave up. i tried fasts and could not stand it. i did fad diets and i failed. i need somthing i know i can stick too and is not strict. my parents r not really supportive with me dieting. i need help. :(

galengail 09-03-2006 06:58 PM

Don't get discouraged! You actually sound like me when I was a teenager. My family was never supportive of eating healthy or dieting, and they are all about 100 pounds heavier than I am right now. It just wasn't something any of them were interested in, and therefore they weren't very supportive of helping me by stocking the fridge with food that I could eat to drop pounds.

You should do what you think you need to do to lose that weight and get healthy. I know it's hard, but don't like their negativity or lack of support change your attitude. You can do it, and in the future you can show all of them that you were right all along.

If you ever need someone to talk to or someone to motivate you, let me know. I'm on the first week of my diet and I'm feeling so positive right now. I actually *feel* better than I have in quite some time. You can PM me for my e-mail address ********

AquaChick 09-03-2006 07:03 PM

giovannip811- Hi, welcome... :hug:

Where to begin.... to start, most of us here can feel your pain, frustration and anger. Most of us have had quite a lot of weight we have been working on losing, or even just started to lose.

Now, where do you want to be? You are unhappy with your current weight, so you have to ask yourself, how do I change this? I can tell you. Take in less, move more- you know this, but we both know it is not easy. It is not going to happen overnight, it only happens with steady dedication- meaning you can't give up. We all slip, but you have to pick yourself up, dust off and get going again. I know this is easier said than done, but this is the truth. The only one in total control of this is you.

My advice to you is instead of carb counting and calorie counting (you seem to really dislike that)- eat smaller portions. This takes consious effort. You might mess up a few times, don't give up. Just try again next time. Remember what you are trying to do.

For excersise, you might get burnt out on trying hard stuff too soon. I suggest walks. Set aside a certain amount of time everyday for a walk. As you get stronger you might want to challenge yourself with other things.

This is not easy, but you can do it!!! Don't give up on you!!

freiamaya 09-03-2006 09:34 PM

Studies have shown that ultra-restrictive diets result in weight GAIN because of overeating as a response to really restricting the type and amount of food you eat. It seems to me that your previous diets have been doomed to fail YOU, not the other way around.
SO, go to your library, and pick up some books, and read about different diets, and find one that is manageable for life.
Personally, and this is not an advertisement, I have had alot of success with Weight Watchers. It is really, really cheap to join (like, $15) and the weekly meeting costs are also cheap (around $15). There are no special foods, but you will learn to manage what you eat for life, and keep the weight off. There are alot of resources on this site for Weight Watchers participants, and you might try www.dwlz.com also.
You can find the support to lose weight elsewheres, so keep your efforts on the low-down from your parents for now, until you find a program that is working for you.
Keep in touch!

Misti in Seattle 09-03-2006 10:56 PM

Hello and welcome! Sorry you are having such a struggle. I recommend you get on a healthful eating and exercise plan and make the decision to stick to it. It is a GREAT idea to talk to your doctor and get something she/he can supervise. I have done this and it is a huge encouragement... AND besides it is "documented." :) My doctor is SO happy with me that I do NOT want to go back next time with all my weight back on and the blood results bad. :)

You CAN do it! And congratulations on being wise enough to want to do it and realize the need at such a young age and before your weight becomes so high as many of us have had to cope with and try to beat off! You GO for it!!! We are here to encourage.

madscientist 09-04-2006 04:14 AM

Okay, be a diet failure. That's a good start. And yes, I am serious. Diets will make you gain weight faster than if you did nothing, not to mention the emotional effects it can have on you and the bad habits and thought patterns it can install. So I am happy to hear you failed at diets and are giving them up. The way I see it, that is the first step to recovery. :cp:

The best advice I can give you is to just eat less and exercise more. I know it's tired and lame, but it's true. I have spent 15 years of my life and probably $50,000 total on every diet and weight loss program known to mankind. If there was some miracle cure out there, I WOULD HAVE IT. I promise you, it would be mine and I would be Kate Moss right now! ;) Oprah said the same exact thing, too. And she has far more $$$ than I do!

Look up on the internet what a portion size is. Print it out, put it on the fridge or wherever is convenient. Go walk in the park with friends instead of going to a movie or something equally sedentary. Put some effort into P.E. class. Take some classes on the weekend or after school that you'd enjoy, like maybe dance or swimming. See if your friends can join you. If not, make new ones! Learning how to cook will also be a very important skill in being able to eat healthy so even though it's not a physically active kind of class, I think it might be worth it. If your parents aren't supportive and won't buy you your own food, you can either deal with what you have by really watching your portions and passing on the more fatty aspects of the meal or get a part time job and pay for your own food and classes. When I was a teenager, I mowed lawns, cleaned houses, babysat and basically did other peoples "dirty work" for about $20 a job, sometimes more. On average, I could earn $400 a month under the table (as in, it's not taxed because it wasn't a regular job). Plus, consider all that exercise you could get while earning some money!

It's pretty tough being an overweight teen, especially with unsupportive parents. I was about 180lbs when I was 13 and turned 20 weighing about 285lbs. You DON'T want to turn out like me, TRUST ME. Please do something now, don't wait. If you can implement one healthy habit per week (or even per month) in place of a bad one, do it. Make it something you can stick with as a permanent lifestyle, not something temporary. If it exhausts you and feels like TOO much work, it probably is and you need to tone down your efforts to something more doable (but still challenging enough that you can continue it and still see results). I wish I would have at least started out with baby steps when I teenager. Maybe then I wouldn't have ever gotten up to 330lbs by age 22.

Ultimately, you can't diet yourself out of your weight problem, you have to change your lifestyle. Often, one habit at a time. Stop looking for quick fixes, they don't exist and may never exist. You can still live life and be a healthy weight too.It's not one or the other. It doesn't mean you'll never see a Big Mac or a sundae (or whatever your fave "bad" foods are) ever again. You just have to tell them that while you enjoy them, you really need to see other people too :D. I don't know about you, but as soon as I make any food off-limits, that is when I have a huge craving for it and want to eat it like crazy. Once I realize i's never forbidden, it takes the need for it away. I caught myself the other day wanting a special food treat, and I thought to myself "What is the one thing in the world I would eat right now if I wanted it and wouldn't have to count it at all?" Ya know, for the first time ever I couldn't think of anything that was special in the least. It was a nice feeling. And I was starving at the moment, so it wasn't like I didn't really want anything! It's just that instead of battling myself and food, I'm now working with myself to get where I want to be. One day at a time, one pound at a time. You may need to do that as well at least in the beginning of your journey.

:goodluck: :cheer: :sunny:


Sassy_Chick 09-04-2006 06:29 AM

My advice is to find something you love to do such as madscientist suggested and get a friend involved, if possible. Also when I was a teen, I lost weight simply like everybody here has said, smaller portions and exercise. I ate what I wanted, only less of it. If I wanted a Big Mac for instance, I would go and get one, just one, no fries, no soda, just a Big Mac and not that often.

Biggest thing for me was and still is if I try to "deprive" myself of things, it backfires really quickly. So I just try eating smaller portions and another great tip -- drink more water, because it will make you feel full.

The Exercise I did when I was a teen was walking and lots of it, my mother would walk with me and once we even had a fun little "hike" with her friend and my friends, it was lots of fun and was great exercise! Also I rode my bike a lot, bought some exercise tapes and actually did them.

Also just like everybody says do small simple things like park farther away so you have farther to walk, take stairs instead of elevators whenever you can, maybe get involved in sports if something interests you or dancing like someone here suggested. I danced a lot (at home) and I think that helped me a lot. Also my Aunt would have me over and we would do step aerobics in her basement, so see it doesn't have to be just your friends, it could be relatives, coworkers (if you work), people from church, etc.

For me I just joined the Y with my husband, so we are going to do this together. But before my husband I was a member of the Y by myself and went mostly by myself, sometimes with a friend or my Aunt, but when I went alone it was just "ME" time. I enjoyed it. Got out a lot of the frustrations of the day..............

:goodluck: and you have found a great support by coming here!!!! :carrot:


Hale_Mary 09-05-2006 09:00 AM

Everyone has given you wonderful advice. I agree that you shouldn't concern yourself with counting calories or carbs at this time. Instead, focus on the kind of food you're eating and the portion size.

I'm sorry that you're family is not supportive in your goals. It's very common for friends and family to (conciously or subconciously) deter your efforts. Sometimes they're afraid of change and sometimes they're jealous because you're improving your life and they're not.

Perhaps you could discuss nutrition and health with a teacher at school. You could also ask friends to help keep you motivated. You could even try watching the students who are involved in athletics.

DeafinlySmart 09-05-2006 09:13 AM

Remember the food pyramid? Use it as a guide. Learning new portion sizes is an amazing thing to learn. Treat all of this as a FUN new hobby. What CAN you do about it? What DO you like? Drink water! As for junk food, I still have it once in a while (NOT EVERY WEEK). I'm amazed that I'm willing to eat 4 peice nugget happy meal instead of a quarter pounder with cheese and large fry. I've made changes because I decide it's not really worth it. The key to this whole thing is commitment, attitude, and CHANGE. It truly is a lifestyle CHANGE. It's not a diet. A diet implies that it is short term. Whatever new lessons you learn, will be ones you need to apply forever. I am a calorie counter, but I have a large range because I know life is not that restrictive. You should start with eating better foods, journaling (your family can't stop you there), reducing portions, enlist a friend, and walk. My favorite thing about this journey has been even through the discouragement, I have found inspiration through the boards of 3FC and I have realized that learning to change my eating styles is new fun hobby. I hope that feeling never really goes away.

As far as your family. I had a dad too restrictive and I ended up being a bulimic (out of power control). As a teenager food can easily become control between parent and child. Try not to let it be that way. Take what you can, change what you can, and love them for they don't realize what they are doing. If they see you are serious over time, they too might be inspired.

Misti in Seattle 09-05-2006 09:38 AM

Great advice here! And I agree that you should focus on eating more healthful foods and stay away from the junk. You will be surprised at how good veggies and fruit start to taste once you are in the habit of eating them and not all the stuff with high sugar, salt and fats! Oh and you can eat a lot more veggies and stuff for the same calories... so you get more food, better health, and watch the pounds fall of! And I agree that dieting is not the answer... eating healthful foods and exercising is the key.

kateful 09-05-2006 11:35 AM

I'm curious about how your family is unsupportive. I don't think I would be supportive of my teenager fasting or doing fad diets either, you know?

What kind of food does your mom (or whoever does the shopping) buy? Any fruit and vegetables at all? What kind of activities do you or could you participate in, i.e. are you rural or urban, do you have sidewalks, how far from school do you live, are you in athletics or p.e., what leisure activities do you enjoy, do you have a job?

I think we could help you really focus with more specific advice if we knew a little more about your situation.

vouge09 09-05-2006 04:45 PM

Hey I feel your pain. When you descirbe you are describing me. I hate mybody . I try everyday to begin a diet and it fails by midnight. I am so comminted but I dont know what goes wrong. Talk to me anytime.

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