First off, let me say how thankful I am that I found this site. I'm 22 years old and have been anywhere from "slightly chunky" to "obese" since I was in grade school. I've always struggled with trying to lose weight. My mother suffered a heart attack at 29 (it was not related to weight and it didn't kill her) but I keep finding myself obsessing about potential future health problems as a result of my family history and weight.

Two years ago I began suffering from crippling panic attacks. These went untreated (no insurance) and I became extremely depressed. When I was finally able to seek medical attention for the panic attacks, I reacted badly to several different medications. The doctor eventually wrote me a prescription for Xanax, (desperate ploy to get rid of me) which, of course, I began taking more than strictly necessary. At 20, I weighed about 170. Now, at 22, I'm up to 228.

Had a little incident last week... I won't retell the whole ridiculous story, but basically a total stranger told me I'm fat. I went home and thought to myself "well, what are you going to do about it?" I started Slim-Fast yesterday.

Here's my question. I'm wondering if I should make another attempt at medication to treat the anxiety and depression. I believe that losing the weight will help with the depression even though realistically, I know that's not strictly true. So what happens if the weight starts coming off and I'm dealing with the same problems I had to begin with? Would the better option be to have another go at finding appropriate medication WHILE I work on diet and exercise? I know this sounds silly but when I say "bad reactions to antidepressants" I mean really, really bad.

This has become a little mini-novel, but it feels really good to talk about these problems with people who have dealt with the same issues. Thanks so much!

Hi Kella and Welcome,

Firstly, I think you need to find yourself a new doctor. If you felt like the prescription was written to get rid of you, your gut is definitely telling you something. There are good doctors around... tho it may take some looking. Be sure to explain what happened to you on anti-depressants.

In the meantime, consider joining a weight loss support group, such as Weight Watchers or TOPS. TOPS is free and quite supportive, while WW is under $20 a week. Both teach you to eat properly which will not only support weight loss but do so in a healthy manner.

You are right in saying that if you lose the weight the problems will still be there. Are you able to access counselling services through your work? Sometimes employers offer EAP (Employee Assistance Programs).

This site is wonderful and this particular forum has THE best ladies for support I've ever encountered online. I'm sure you will have some more great advice!

kella, welcome. You have came to a great place for support and advice. Personally, I think I would try to find a Dr. that was supportive and willing to help you with an anti-depressant that you can tolerate. (If you feel that the depression is more than the weight gain). I say this because a little over a yr. ago, I had a Dr. prescribe me Zoloft for depression. I never filled the prescription because I felt I already took too many meds and I felt my weight was what was causing me to be so depressed. With weight loss, I don't feel that I need the Zoloft. I felt so much better physically and mentally once I started exercising and began to lose weight. I know that it's not the same for any 2 people and that your situation could be totally different mine.

Hmm...these ladies basically said it all, although I more than share your frustrations with doctors. I have the basic insurance which is Medicare/Medicaid, and usually get doctors fresh out of medical schools who never take the time to really read up on my records. I don't have the option of really shopping around for doctors as I'm stuck with what my insurance says which doctors they will cover. So I hear ya on that. Only thing I can say on this is that to be persistent, and never be afraid to stand up to your doctor if they try to get rid of you, or act like you don't know what you're talking about.

One thing that I think you may really benefit from is therapy, which is nothing to be ashamed of. We've all been at that point in our lives where we really needed to talk it out. But if you're like me, broke as a skunk, I have found it really theraputic to write out my feelings in a blog online (protected/private of course), and have found that by being honest with myself, I'm better able to handle my emotions and the issues I'm confronting. Hope this helps!

Hi Kella and

I agree with Judo Mom, she pretty much said it all. Finding a good doctor is a challenge but its not impossible and once you do find the right one OMG what a difference it makes in your whole outlook b/c you'll feel like the weight of the world is off your shoulders and that finally some one understands you... a sense of peace.

You are worth it kiddo !!!

Hello everyone. I'm new to this group but I wanted to add a few thoughts to this discussion.

Kella, I understand your problem with anti-depressants. In the past I have been prescribed almost every one imaginable. Unfortunately, none of them worked effectively; they made me feel very strange, gain weight and I was unable to function normally. After many years and after getting a degree in psychology, I found that in some cases there needs to be a combination of medication taken. This is due to the fact that each medicine works on different chemicals in the brain. Sometimes in order to get the correct balance of chemicals for your brain to function correctly, more than one medicine may be needed (I hope I explained that clearly).

As all of the posts have suggested, a new doctor is definitely in order. Here is a link which contains a lot of information about mental health and links to help find a doctor in your area (http://mentalhealth.about.com/cs/sel...ndashrink.htm). Please note that a "psychiatrist" can provide talk therapy, as well as prescribe medicines. "Psychologist" are not licensed to prescribe medicine and only provide talk therapy. They can and often do however, refer patients to psychiatrist for medicine. Always ask for credentials.

I want to suggest writing in a journal and talk therapy. They have helped me a lot. I am someone who suffers from PTSD as a result of a car accident which left me critically injured in intensive care for six months. Even though the accident happened a very long time ago, I was never treated and now I have anxiety attacks and am afraid to ride in cars if I am not driving (It's a control issue). Please be careful with the Xanax - it can be additive.

Don't give up! Joining this forum proves that you are taking steps to take control of your health.

I agree you need to find a doctor who really cares about your mental health. For me...I thought the weight was what was causing my anxiety and ocd. But after I lost 70 pounds and my panic attacks where not getting any better I decided to turn to a doctor. I've been on prozac for alittle over a month now and I feel like I finally have my life back. Good luck with whatever you choose.

You guys are so incredibly awesome.

Right now I'm uninsured, so the doctor thing is sort of a non-issue. I'm a student, so all of my health needs go through the campus clinic. They're pretty good about dealing with minor illnesses, but they're not much help for anything else. It seems like therapy is the way to go- mostly because I can't think of a reason not to go, also because there's a place I know of in town that's free.

My last doctor (back in the days of glorious, wonderful insurance) wasn't necessarily bad. He just liked to give people drugs, and he did it a lot. Sometimes this has been fantastic. For example, I hurt my back in a very serious way when I was 16 (4 herniated discs and about a year of somewhat limited mobility, which is when I gained a lot of the weight I'm trying to lose). He didn't hesitate to hit me with the pain meds from time to time through the years, which I appreciated. But I'm the sort of person who'd rather treat a problem with drugs last, and after other possibilities have been eliminated.

jyda730: you aren't kidding about the xanax being addictive. My use has been infrequent, and I'm not using any more now than I did when I was first given it but my god, I can see how easily it would become a serious problem.

I saw a friend of mine over the weekend and she commented on my recent weight loss. I'm doing Slim-Fast and for some insane reason I lost 9 lbs right out of the gate, even though the attempt was sorta half-assed. I told her what I was doing, and she's decided to do it with me. Which is awesome, because she's the only support I can afford (aside from all you wonderful folks, of course).

I'm really, really excited about getting serious about losing weight. This is the first time I've felt motivated like this. It's also the first time I've thought I've had any chance whatsoever of success. It's a pretty good feeling.

Hello Kella!
I was in your same shoes two years ago... I started getting horrendous panic attacks, and couldn't even leave my house. I am only 19, so I still saw a pediatrician at that time, and he prescribed me a light dose of anti-depressants and it didn't work. In fact, it made me thing I was going crazy... I got off of that, and was referred to a psychiatrist, who was supposed to find the right "balance" of medication for me... I took his orders and got so sick that I almost had kidney failure. My doctor then referred me to a counselor, and this man changed my life!... There are MANY books on overcoming panic disorder, for people who don't have the funds to see a counselor, and I suggest you pick some up.... on amazon.com there are "when panic attacks", "Overcoming Panic Disorder", and many other great books that really helped me. My pediatrician was wonderful and never gave up on me, even when I was seeing him once a week, so I think a supportive Doctor is also key...
Please, take good care, and you can PM me anytime for advice and encouragement.. I know what you are going through..
*hugs*