Hi all. I'm new. Could really use support and suggestions from everyone. I'm 31, married, mom of 2. Been struggling with my weight and depression for a while now. I've also been diagnosed with social anxiety disorder and I think the weight issues make that situation worse. Can't tell you how grateful I am to have found this forum!
I'd love some input on what's worked and what hasn't for you all. I've been on Zoloft and I hate HATE it. Makes me shakey and nervous and unable to sleep. Has anyone had good results with different depression medications?
Another thing I'm wondering about and am not even that comfortable bringing up is this. This past year a friend of mine was murdered. I've lost loved ones before but the range of emotions I'm going thru with this is so different. My depression has become so much worse, feel like I'm in a black hole. People around me don't seem to understand why I'm still so effected by what happened. I just wondering if anyone else has gone thru something like this and would be willing to talk about it? I HOPE nobody has, truly, but if you're out there please contact me. I need help.
My weight has ballooned up higher than ever. I'm scared. It all seems like too much at once though. I don't know how to deal with what happened, climb out of this depression AND lose weight. I'm overwhelmed.
Input, support and suggestions are more than welcome. Thanks.

Hey Cassie, and thanks for your reply.

I've been taking Zoloft for a few months now. Started out at 50 mg but it wasn't very effective so was bumped up to 100mg. At 100 I have the shakes and can't sleep and feel "crazy." I know people who have had success with it, so don't be discouraged by one person's opinion, it just doesn't seem to work very well for me. Congratulations on the baby and breast feeding by the way. My youngest is 20 months old and I too breast fed.

It's kind of nice hearing from someone else with social anxiety disorder, although I wish that neither or us, or anyone for that matter, had to deal with it. My doctor and I think I've had it for a long time, since I was a kid...but it was milder, or easier to deal with or something, because it seems to have gotten worse the past few years. It's nice talking to someone who understands what it's like...thanks. Maybe we can talk about it some more, compare notes or something?

Hi Cassie--

I was on Celexa for depression for about 5 years. I always felt I was lucky that the first anti-depressant I went on seemed to work, but I did have to put up with a little over 2 weeks of feeling VERY disconnected before it "clicked". And when it took effect (the way it was supposed to) it was very much a night-to-day situation for me. I woke up the morning it all changed and it was like the lights were back on. That didn't mean there wasn't a lot of other work to be done and effort on my part, but...it got me started and out of the numbness.

My heart really goes out to you losing your friend. One of the events that happened and started to send me on my spiral was the death of my brother-in-law. He was a fireman, died on the job, left my sister and 2 kids. This was in 2000, but all those firefighter funerals with the bagpipes and processions that you saw around 9/11--yeah, we lived a lot of that.

ANYWAY...do NOT give up hope. I think it is an excellent sign that you know you need help and are seeking it. I honestly think that it takes self-recognition of the situation in order to start to extricate ourselves. I had to really, really push myself to go out and do things with other people--it would be so much easier to stay at home by myself. I found that things like book readings (I could find a general book club near me), quilt classes (any kind of craft class), and just going and watching company softball games were the sort of low-key social activities that I could handle. I tried to get out of the house at least one evening a week.

I finally went off the Celexa about a year ago, but I did it while also telling a couple of key family and friend folks--people that I asked to help me understand if I was showing signs of retreating back into depression (unfortunately, there is a strong family history of depression--and suicide--so I try to be vigilant not to let things get bad again). I also seem to be getting my weight more under control. I strongly believe that weight gain and depression go hand-in-hand....and I don't think it's truly possible to "fix" one without addressing the other--kind of a babystep for one, babystep for the other, etc.

My research early on clearly showed that the reason there are so many anti-depressants is that people do NOT all react positively to any one drug. I would strongly encourage you to speak with your doctor to see if it is time to switch to another drug. In your shoes, I would probably try to find an anti-depressant that helped me feel a little more able to cope with life in general FIRST. Then...instead of taking on a whole range of new diet/exercise behaviors, be cautious about taking small bites (so to speak!) of change that you can cope with. Many people on this site are very well-meaning, but will suggest a whole range of changes all at once. You will need to do what is right for you.

Truly best wishes....Tracy

Oops, my apologies HuffnPuff--I picked up Cassie's name while reading and I really was meaning my comments for you dear

Hi HuffNPuff!

My name is Tammy. (Guess that was pretty easy to figure out) I have Bi-Polar disorder and a severe general anxiety disorder. I have had to go on Social Security disability. The depression and anxiety was interferring with my daily activites.

Not long ago I felt like the world was closing in on me. I take Lamictal for my mood stabilizer and Celexa for the depression and Seroquel for my anxiety. I have finally found sucess from the Celexa. As the others have said there are many and not all works for the same person.

Depression has affected my weight. In the past three years, I went from a size 6 to a 16. I went from being a thin and attractive women to fat. I really understand if you need someone to talk to you are more then welcome to IM me if you have Yahoo or send me an e-mail.

Huffnpuff, I'm sorry about your friend. I don't think your feelings are abnormal at all. It was a shock, and you may be experiencing some form of Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome. People who haven't been through something similar really don't understand how long it takes to recover from something like that, or that "recover" is actually a relative term, for that matter. It helps if you can find someone to talk to, online or in real life, who does understand, someone who doesn't try to rush you into "getting over it".

My DH was seriously injured in a work accident a number of years ago. Head injury, brain trauma, coma, life support, the works. He was in the hospital for a month, with continuing therapy for weeks after that. About three months after the accident, a dear lady asked me if life was back to normal yet. She asked out of pure kindness and concern, but the question blew me away. By that time, I didn't even know what "normal" meant any more. My point is that sometimes other people won't be able to understand why the loss continues to affect you so deeply. This doesn't mean they're bad people, it just means they're not the ones you can turn to for support. The people who can empathize are out there; but it takes some trial and error to figure out who they are.

*hugs* I'm sorry you are going through so many problems!! It is hard losing someone close to you, especially in such a tragic way. I had never experienced death much until this last year when a classmate who I'd gone to school with since kindergarten was killed in a car accident. It was the first funeral I'd been to since I was four at my greatgrandpa's funeral. It was very difficult. The church was filled with teenagers, and we all couldn't believe that such a sweet girl who'd dealt with so much in her life (cancer, her father's death, having one glass eye and many vision problems, etc.) would have her life cut short instantaniously. It was surreal. Our entire high school choir was there and we sang two songs. It was hard to sing throughout the entire thing.

Sorry, I'm rambling on, but my point is that tragedy can make these feelings only that much worse. Our subconsious can sometimes continue to bring these things up, too. I dream about that girl nearly every night. It's strange to see her living in my dreams and wake up to realize she's gone. Feeling remorse even a long time afterwards is a natural thing. I wasn't very close to this girl, but it has impacted me deeply and reminded me of the mortality most young people seem to forget about.

And as for medications, they work different for everyone. I'm taking 200 mg of zoloft and I feel great. I have few side effects and I'm getting better. They take a long time to really work, too. It took me about three months to start to really feel better. We're here for you and remember that you're not alone

Hi Huffnpuff,

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend
Gee...where do I begin.... in 1998 my sister died in a matter of a few days from a rare blood disease that no one knew she had. We all thought it was some sort of flu like virus, the hospital said they knew what she had and could handle it, she would be fine. 5 days later she died leaving 2 little kids behind. SHOCK!! isn't the word. I went into such a deep depression it wasn't even funny for lack of a better word. I gained from 1998 to 2005 100 lbs. I went on and off of meds... Zoloft made me crazy too, I had bad thoughts with that drug so I had to get off... so bad they are embarassing to repeat. Prozac was good for me and so was Welbutrin. I have also had a family member murdered... I don't want to go into details but I know how you feel.

It took me a very long time, with counceling, grieving counceling, therapy to get over or try to get over my sisters death. I think NOW!! I'm just starting to learn to live with it and that I'll never really get over it.

Anyway my point is, you grieve at your own pace and don't let any one tell you that you should be over the loss of some one. They have no right to make you feel like there is something wrong with you... we all grieve differently. Cry when you have to, talk when you have to... yes !!!! this is normal. People just don't understand until it happens to them that the sudden loss of a loved one can be so devistating. I know how you feel, I really do.

Hugs and kisses to you.... and remember if the meds make you not feel good, try another, but mostly be yourself and take your time grieving over your friend.

Leenie

Hugs to you all.......amazing the pain we can endure.

One thing that can really help is finding a good counsellor. I do believe that meds alone don't work.......I was on paxil.......it took the edge off enough that I could do some of the work I needed to do.

I believe that every new loss triggers a grief reaction and in a way you revisit the pain. The death of my son has changed my life forever....I will never get "over" it.....and every new loss in the last 10 years brings the pain flooding back......I have an anxious personality and when I am vulnerable my anxiety surfaces. I have to do a lot of self talk even to get through a shift at work or even to answer the phone some days.

It is important that we surround ourselves with good people....positive people.

Hugs to us all......life is difficult.......

Liz

Hi, Huff.

I'm sorry about your friend. I can't imagine how painful that is for you.

I can relate to your depression, though. I was depressed before, and got on paxil, then effexor, both which made me gain (making me too ashamed to step out of the house). I dropped out of school (third year university), stopped talking to my friends, twice attempted suicide...it was awful.

Then I did research, and there are actually drugs that don't make you gain. Maybe ask your doctor for WELLBUTRIN. I'm losing weight with the help of this drug. I'm not turning to food for my emotions, which is incredible because I've suffered from anorexia to bulimia to binge-eating disorder in the last 4 years.

I really do wish you luck, and if you need someone to talk to, you can always pm me.

Hi Huffnpuff-

I have struggled with depression for 10 years, have been on meds for 5. I'm still looking for the right one, but I think that's because I am being diagnosed as rapid cycling bipolar ll, so will need different meds. I have 3 kids, and am married, although my husband is currently in Iraq. One thing I encourage you to do is see a therapist. The right one can really help. Talk to your doctor about how the meds make you feel, and maybe he/she will have a different one for you to try. And you can pm or email me anytime.

Hi Cassie
I'm really sorry to hear about your friend. Greif takes its own time and is different to everyone! It will take as long as it takes for you to start feeling and remembering the good times. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for your feelings!!
We have all visited the black hole, when I started to see the light I was really afraid that it was a train. I wish there was a path we could all take through it but it is just stumbling around in the dark till you find the way out. It is different for everyone. Talking helps specially when you find people who have been there and understand.