[RushTX]

Hello,

I've had this page open in my browser for nearly a week, or maybe over a week, who knows.

I've been struggling with depression for decades and have been overweight for almost 10 years....more so lately. I've heard of 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet and just recently came across it again when I was searching for some weight loss and depression support. So there may be an intro from me on here somewhere from years ago.

I wasn't sure where to post, here in the Depression and Weight Loss thread, in Intros, or to reply to a post like "June Ups and Downs Support". So please feel free to direct me or move me to where I need to be (or where this post needs to be).

Here are my struggles and challenges, to which I'm sure many of you can relate:
I've gained a lot of weight, and it started right after I had kids. I'm not used to being this big; I never had a problem with weight as a child, teen, or young adult. (I'm 50 now.) - How big? Well last time I stood on the scale (a month ago or more, I was about 198. I'm sure I'm over 200 now, though I told myself to NEVER get over 200..I feel bigger, so I'm pretty sure I am now.

My stomach is getting bigger and sticking out more. I look pregnant. Trust me, I'm not. And of course that's putting a strain on my body, so I hurt all the time. And I have trouble moving. The somewhat recent hot flashes don't help. Walking across the house (not a big house, only about 1800 square feet, including the garage) and doing simple chores are often a struggle, and I start sweating like crazy. My back, neck, and shoulders hurt the most, along with my legs coming up second.

So just the thought of exercise exhausts me and makes me hurt more (stress also contributes to the pain/achiness). A year or so ago, I started trying to diet and lose weight, including doing some slow-paced exercise videos, but despite my efforts, I didn't lose a pound. So I gave up. I need something that's going to show some success even if I'm not running (or doing other extensive cardio) for an hour every day. I need to start small with the exercise but also need to be able to see some numbers going down on the scale, in order to motivate me to keep going. Are there some effective belly exercises I can do lying down on a mat? We have a gymnastics mat that my daughter used to use when she was in gymnastics (she isn't anymore). I need something that isn't going to put more strain on my already aching body. And I always hated exercise, so I have NO desire whatsoever to do it. I was that kid in PE class that hated everything and was always picked last. I wasn't overweight back then though, just sedentary and always have been.

I'm also addicted (MAJORLY addicted) to sugar. I don't have an appetite for meals and actually don't eat much. Except I do have more of an appetite in the middle of the night (I'm a night owl and I'm naturally up late). But I do suck on Welch's Fruit Snacks all day and most of the night (until I go to bed), and then I have 2-3 of them right before I go to sleep. NOT 2-3 packs; I mean 2-3 individual gummies. And I do eat chocolate candy at various times, especially in the morning. I think I do it to try to wake up my body, which feels full of stress and pain, like it's screaming at me to get back in bed. I've tried eating normal meals, but if it's before 7 pm, after 2 bites, I feel full. Like there is a balloon in my belly that blows up when I take the first bite of a meal. I've always been a fast food junkie, but it never caused a problem until I had kids.

Anyways, that's where I'm at. Not sure where to go or what to do. I sit most of the day and work on my computer (or play, or watch videos). I'm very sedentary. I don't have the energy or desire to cook meals, so my family eats out (fast food) often. Or we have microwave dinners. My go-to drink is tea, sometimes with artificial sweetener, and I'll have sweet tea when we go out to eat. Sometimes at night I like to drink cherry or pink lemonade kool aid. Maybe once a month or so we'll cook (my husband or I). We like pasta, spaghetti, or hamburger helper. My husband might cook steak on our grill, but steak has become very expensive, so we don't do that as often anymore. I think I would be able to do a shake or smoothie diet, since I don't have much of an appetite. But not sure which one or how to do it. I would NOT be able to do any kind of diet that requires cooking homemade meals. I don't know how to let go of Welch's Fruit Snacks. SO MANY struggles.

AND with all of that, I have debilitating depression. Not the kind of depression where I'm constantly in tears, but the kind where I literally cannot move and it's often a huge struggle to smile. The weight makes it hundreds of times worse. I do take medication for bipolar depression (Seroquel) and Vyvanse for ADHD (more like ADD, I'm definitely not hyperactive), and I have been taking these meds for over a decade. I've also had problems with hypothyroid in the past. Seroquel helps to quiet my racing thoughts in order to go to sleep at night, and Vyvanse helps to wake me up in the morning.

Any suggestions?